Stephenie Meyer owns The Host, not me.
Mixed Feelings
*A Strange Quiet*
Innocence is the first casualty of war.
Click, click, click, click. Sophia was reloading her magazines, looking at the city in the valley below. She'd decided to keep her head down to get some breathing room from the Seekers, and to lick her own wounds. Once the No Pain had worn off, she discovered that in addition to deep bruises from getting shot in her body armor, she'd also received more extensive burns than she'd realized. She decided to conserve her limited reserves of meds for when she really needed them, as her injuries were minor, if quite painful.
It hurt like a bitch, but it also served as a reminder that she was anything but powerless - she was Sophia Conrad, Destroyer of Souls! - and as far as she knew, the best hope for humanity's survival.
Sophia snickered at the hopelessness of her situation. It was so bleak it was funny. Hilarious, in fact - here she was, hiding out, pretending she could make a difference, but in the end, the best she could hope to do was to spread pain and suffering. Humanity's parting shots - a final 'fuck you' to the bugs, in a sense. She was fine with that, but wished she could do something more. Something they'd tell stories about in hushed tones centuries from now.
Sophia looked up, and noticed Fractals was staring at her. She resisted the urge to throw it to the ground and kick it until something broke, reminding herself that she needed it relatively intact to answer questions.
Sophia had unbound Fractals. "I figure you can barely stand right now," she'd said. "I need you in one piece." Still, wonder of wonders, the child wasn't hitting her anymore. For now, at least - she didn't know how long it would last. At least a day had gone by, and she was beginning to feel a little better, though it was the difference between having been thrown under a bus and falling down a flight of stairs.
Fractals didn't know what Sophia had been up to while she was locked in the trunk, but she was reloading an alarming number of magazines for that cursed weapon of hers. And she'd been covered in blood when she came back. It was obvious she'd killed someone, up close and personal.
Fractals was still getting used to having a passenger. Zoe's initial rage at her situation had passed, thanks to a common enemy. Fractals had the sensation of double vision when she looked at some things now, though - her own impressions and Zoe's hit her at the same time.
Sophia creeped out Zoe. The kid was deeply disturbed, there was no way around it. This was about the same as Fractals' view, but Zoe also felt a tinge of pity towards her that Fractals found incomprehensible.
Why do you feel sorry for her? Fractals asked.
*Do you think she would have been so... psychotic, if this hadn't happened?* Zoe responded.
What do you mean?
*Before you all came, I mean. Do you really think she was cracked in the head like this before? I mean, I think she pretty much saw the end of the world when she was little.* Zoe dredged through Fractals' memories. *She said she saw the Seekers take her parents when she was seven. The first time you saw her, she'd just come from seeing her brother get shot; she was still covered in his blood, remember? Things like that change people, Fractals.*
PTSD doesn't excuse the fact that she's evil, Zoe.
*Did I say she wasn't? Do you see me saying we should be friends? I just mean it's not all her fault.*
Sophia turned to look at them, and grinned maliciously. A small folding knife appeared in her hand, and she flipped it open with a practiced motion. "Something interesting, Fractals?"
*Don't stare at her!*
"No," Fractals said, looking down at the city, hoping this peaceful spell wasn't over.
Sophia pulled a bag of sunflower seeds out of her backpack, and opened it with the knife. "Gotcha," she said, still grinning.
Fractals continued to look at the city, as if it had suddenly become very interesting.
She saw a glittering metropolis below, full of vibrant life and happy people. She wished she could find a way to warn them of the danger that lay up here.
Zoe, on the other hand, saw a necropolis. She was still coming to terms with the fact that she'd missed seven years. She was glad she hadn't been there to see it – friends, neighbors, and family killing each other. It couldn't have been pretty.
Zoe's viewpoint bothered Fractals. Nobody's dead, don't be so morbid, she told the human.
*I guess that depends on how you define 'dead',* the human replied cryptically, and a wave of depression flowed through her.
Sophia remembered when she'd realized it was never going to end, that the bugs had won. It had been the first time she'd spoken a full sentence for months after finding her parents were dead, and that what they had become wanted her body as well.
The complete surreality of breaking into a house to steal food, finding a machine gun, and actually wanting to keep it, had broken her shell. She'd been convinced for a long time it was just an extended bad dream, and one day she would go to sleep and wake up back in her bed. But her dreaming mind wouldn't come up with something like this.
"How do you work this thing, Alex?" She could still remember the open gunsafe full of glittering weapons.
Alex had been ecstatic that she was talking again, and had shown her everything he had known about AK-47s. He didn't think it was worth it to carry it, but hadn't stopped her from doing so. He'd told her several years later he'd thought she would drop it, as it was almost as big as she had been at the time. When he'd realized she was actually going to keep it, he'd shown her what little he knew of tactics.
"No sister of mine is going to fight like a hajji," Sophia remembered Alex saying, later. "The sights are there for a reason - if we're going to be in a fight, use them, Sophie!"
Sophia was not sure why it was so important to him at the time, but now she was quite thankful Alex had taught her how to use the AK. If he hadn't, she wouldn't have been able to take out that Seeker station, and would probably have died along with Alex.
Or worse, she'd have been captured. And that would have been the end of humanity's story, as far as she knew. The bugs did leave a few children human, but they would be so heavily indoctrinated to believe wild humans were evil that they might as well be centipedes themselves. She hadn't believed the trucker at first, but she'd been watching the city and seen a few.
They might as well be bugs themselves.
Sophia realized something. One of the Soul raised humans would probably know how to remove the bugs safely. She'd have to think on this.
Sophia had never heard of Geneva, and even if she had, she would have found the concept baffling. Still, something within her rebelled at the thought of torturing a human child for info. It had to be done - she could see it clearly now that the path was before her, yet...
Get a hold of yourself, Sophie. Any one of those kids would cheerfully turn you in to the Seekers in a heartbeat, she reasoned. It's past the end of the world - there isn't anything you can't do; hell, you're pretty much obligated to try to find a way to save other people. And if it pays off...
Sophia recognized that Fractals might not have been lying about her brother - she was now intimately familiar with how well Heal worked, thanks to Ray.
I could rescue Alex, if he's alive. Maybe I could even rescue mom and dad!
She could become much more than just a parting shot. Maybe she could even make the centipedes think twice about coming here. She couldn't stop them; she'd never stop them, she knew it; but having other people around could dramatically improve her life expectancy – it would go from days to weeks, possibly even months if she could save enough of people to actively fight the bugs. And she might even see her family again before she died.
Alex had found it difficult to keep Moonlight apathetic towards Sophia after they heard the news. Twelve thousand dead was a very large number, and it was made more difficult because he was terrified she was losing her mind. She'd have been home free if she'd kept her head down, but instead opted to go on a quixotic quest to fight the Souls. Nobody liked to find out their sibling had genocidal aspirations. He felt a little guilty, too, surprisingly The Souls were not so bad, for invading body snatchers.
Alex ended up playing up how puzzled he was about her actions - not hard, as the Souls had trouble grasping why humans were so violent - and focusing on how much he hated the Seeker station.
It seemed to be working so far. Moon had hung up on Soaring Leaf twice now. He was even beginning to dislike the Seeker a little on his own accord.
Because Alex had little real education to speak of, Moonlight was still searching for a Calling. This made it easier to influence him, because he had lots of free time. When he was deeply occupied with something, for some reason Alex found himself much, much weaker.
He'd convinced Moon to go and find some decoration for his sparse apartment. It seemed like a good way to waste time.
*Ten o'clock, five yards away - look!* Alex thought at him.
Moon followed Alex's directions, and saw a Soul with a beautiful host struggling with a large potted plant.
*Help her out, Moon! She's hot!*
I shouldn't help someone just because they have a pretty host, I should because it's the right thing to do, Alex, Moon replied. But Alex was right, she was very pretty.
A room full of uniformed Seekers sat, waiting for Soaring Leaf to begin. He cleared his throat, then began the briefing.
"In light of recent events, we've decided to brief several teams of Seekers from every state in the region so we all know who and what we're fighting. As I'm sure you all know, several days ago a wild human managed to penetrate deep within a city long since pacified, and destroy a shipment of cryotanks. Right now, we're making due by posting units of the National Guard around the Healing facilities, but if there is a natural disaster, they'll be called away and it will fall to us to defend them."
"For those of you unfamiliar with the case, the human's name is Sophia Conrad, a fourteen year old who - yes, do you have a question?"
One of the briefees stood. "Twelve thousand people were killed by a child?"
Soaring Leaf realized he should address this now. "Can you really call her a child? She's seen more in her short life than most of us have in two or three. Just because she's young doesn't mean we should underestimate her - young adolescents fought in wars all the time, when humans controlled the planet. Sixty years before we came to Earth, during World War Two, human children as young as twelve fought - and delayed, I might add - Soviet troops advancing inside Berlin. Just because they're young doesn't mean they aren't vicious and dangerous."
The other Seeker sat down.
"All right. We believe that Conrad has kidnapped a girl named Zoe Parva. I think it's safe to assume she's dead, though we haven't found a body. She also assaulted a Seeker station, where she stole drugs and assorted small arms and ammunition, and killed everyone on duty at the time. If any of your teams find her, do not try to capture her - she's unsuitable as a host." Behind him, video of the human's raid on the station played. Several people gasped at the violent display.
"The human is armed with an illegally imported automatic Type 56 assault rifle. During the raid of the Seeker station, Conrad found a case of 7.62 and a crate of medicines. Be aware, she likes to throw Still as a makeshift hand grenade. If you come across her, don't try to be a hero. Call in backup, or she'll kill you, or worse, capture you. If that happens, it's probably best to kill your host." The screen behind him began playing a slideshow of all the injuries they'd discovered on Ray's body.
There were more gasps from the audience.
"I show you these images to reinforce how dangerous this human is. She is just a child, but she's incredibly vicious and very well armed."
Soaring Leaf continued the briefing, though he wasn't sure how much they were learning from him, and how much from the slides.
"Though it pains me to say it, we're going to have to run combat drills. Humans, even just an adolescent like this one, are far better than us at fighting."
That night, far away from the briefing, a coughing thump echoed from inside a military base. Several seconds later, deep inside the nearby town there was an explosion. Someone ran from the old human artillery he had just fired, hoping his Soul would remain none the wiser, and the Seekers wouldn't catch on.
"Hoorah," he whispered, as the sirens began. He'd hit something, hopefully the spaceport. Those ships looked expensive.
A/N Google 'relativistic kill vehicle'. It's fun. I was going to share this fun with you, my few faithful readers, but TopKat90 pointed out several flaws in my assumptions.
Therefore, Mixed Feelings is officially aimless once again! It's impossible to tell whether or not the Soul ships are FTL or not from Wanda's meager conversations about them, which ruins my evil plans. Darn you and your English major, Smeyer! -_-
Thanks to Kat for catching my slip of words at the end. It's fixed now.
24 Jan 2011 Typo fixes/reformatting/minor edits