Lying on the couch in his living room, Shizuo listened to the silence. Finally he had some piece and quiet but it wasn't that kind of piece and quiet he had graved for almost every day of his life. No, this was silence that didn't let him be relaxed. This silence that surrounded his whole apartment was, in Shizuo's opinion, a silence that was full of tension, unanswered questions and most of all loneliness.

It had been a while since Shizuo felt as lonely as he did now. And from time to time when he forgot to fight the thoughts back he hoped for Izaya to appear behind his door. Or then he wanted Shion back. The blonde snorted at his own sentimentality; he felt so weak from the heart that it was pathetic. He hadn't felt this lonely since he was... well, young. Very young. And he didn't know what to do with it anymore. Other than moan over it. Shizuo hoped it would go away soon.

It had now been a couple of days since the incident with Izaya, since the flea had said "I like you" to him, since he had kissed him. Not that it hadn't surprised Shizuo but he still didn't quiet understand why the flea had acted like he had. Why would he kiss him? Why would he say something like that? Was it all a joke? No – Shizuo was pretty sure it wasn't. He wasn't trying to flatter himself or anything but the blonde knew the informant well enough to know when he was lying or not. So in other words Shizuo knew Izaya didn't lie when he said "I like you" to him but he still didn't know what to think of it. And like said it had already been a couple of days but he still felt a bit loss with the whole thing. After all something like this to happen to someone like him was as rare as a flower on top of an ice berg. But then again, flowers can bloom in cold places, can't they? (He ad seen a document in TV about it.)

"But then again I actually don't know him all that well... He must have been lying. Right."

After the short kiss Shizuo had stared at Izaya, surprised. He must have looked like a fish for he had opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, loss for words. And when finally he had formed some sort of words in his head again, a familiar voice had called their names. It had been Shinra with Celty walking with him. Izaya had run off and because Shizuo, at the moment, had been a bit out of it he was unable to stop Izaya. After that they hadn't seen each other. Not that Shizuo had even tried to find the raven. Which brings us here, to his apartment, where he, again after a day full of work, was lying on his back and thinking about what he could have said and done, and what he could do and say when he saw the flea next.

Izaya was perfect for Shizuo. As a friend or, dear he even think about it, as a boyfriend or a lover. The blonde wasn't sure when he had realized this but he figured it had been a long time ago. Probably after one of their first fights when they still were studying at Raira. And who knows maybe that was one of the reasons why he had such hatred towards the otherwise-annoying-and-evil flea. The damn informant had never been scared of him. The opposite: he had been amazed by his strength. He had attacked him without thinking "I have to kill him before he kills me", like most people thought. Or: "if I win this guy I'll be badass and everyone will know that I'm the toughest here!" Shizuo never cared for people like them anyway. But Izaya? He had probably thought something between the lines "I'll slash him just because it's fun" and "Just because I can get him angry."

Shizuo had hated him for it. He still did. But now it was... Now he still hated him but he also enjoyed the feeling of chasing someone around who was not afraid of him. And the feeling was mutual at some level; Izaya enjoyed being chased. Like cat and mouse. It was all wrong, wasn't it? Shizuo let out a laugh. His life could never be normal could it?

"Fuck this is annoying!"

The informant's personality was all but sane and right. It was as twisted as a mind could be. The man was evil from the core to the surface. But in a way so was Shizuo – meaning not normal. He got angry way too easily and when he did he usually threw a street sign or a vending maching towards the object of his anger. So it wasn't something like "anger management issues". No, it was something far beyond that. Shizuo was scared of his own strength. Other swere scared of his strength – all but Izaya. And that meant a lot to Shizuo.

"I'm not afraid of you."

It was as if those words carved in to his bones, brain and heart. Like the whole thing was haunting him. And Shizuo was and wasn't happy for it.

So what would it be like to be with Izaya?

"..."

Vivid images were seen because they have been experienced already. Shizuo blushed and broke the coffee table, again.

.

It was the fourth day since the festival and the fireworks. The city and it's people were living normal lives again, getting to work, getting off from work, paying taxes and bills. Kids and students went to work, had fun together. Boys made fun of each other in front of the girls while the girls giggled. Everything was normal though it felt a bit more peaceful than usually. This was, as you could guess, because of all the not-thrown vending machines and the not-crooked street signs.

Cars hurried past the two work partners, one brunette and the other blonde. Tom mumbled somethig to himself about food after work. He was getting hungry again though they just had their break. "I feel like a teenager again. Wanting to eat everything all the time..." the brunette mumbled and Shizuo hummed, confirming he was listening while smoking the ninth cigarette that day. The clock was a little after four.

Tom turned to cross the street when his companion stopped dead to his tracks. He looked around himself almost frantically.

"Shizuo?" Tom asked, frowning on confusion, "what's wrong-"

"Sorry!" Shizuo said quickly and dropped his cigarette to the ground and ran to the opposite direction, towards the southern park, "I've got to go, I'm sorry!" And so he left Tom standing alone.

It was Izaya. He was in Ikebukuro, finally. Shizuo had no idea how he knew it but he could somehow sense his presence. The ex-bartender ran as fast as he could towards the park, hoping to see Izaya and somehow catch him. But his hopes didn't help him much because the informant had noticed him first and when Shizuo finally saw the black fur coat among the crowd it was too late. The coat was too far away to be seen after a few seconds and soon it disappeared among the crowd.

The blonde cursed and called Tom, asking where he was; he'd get back to him now.

After work this happened again. He was walking home from work when he saw Izaya walking across the street. But before he could reach the raven at all the said man noticed the blonde and ran away and hid himself.

This happened the next day and the day after that. They couldn't even be called chases anymore because there was no chase. Shizuo would either notice or sense Izaya and maybe run for a few minutes but then give up; the informant was nowhere to be seen. It was like he just disappeared. At least this was the case a couple of times. Otherwise Izaya just got a big head start.

Well, it wasn't like Shizuo didn't understand the reason behind Izaya's "escapes". After all, if there ever was going to be a chase between them it would be completely different with their usual running-around. The chase would either end with Shizuo catching Izaya or completely giving up on him and the chase. Shizuo knew this. And he knew Izaya knew this as well; he understood him that way.

.

There were days when Izaya simply loved his job and then there were days when Izaya wanted to do anything else than his job as an informant. Past these couple of days his opinion about his job was the latter one. Why? Because just when he wanted to stay away from the crazy city he needed information about someone who would only be seen in Ikebukuro. It became even more unbearable when Izaya remembered his little confession every time he walked inside Ikebukuro.

"Why the hell did I do that again?" Izaya asked himself the hundredth time that day. "I know why but... Why?" He groaned and sat up on his couch when he heard his secretary walk through the door.

"Why the hell are you laying there for? You have a job to do you know!" She grumbled and walked to the couch, "do you have any idea how much of a pain in the ass the damn Shiki can be? Especially when I tell him you can't be reached! What the hell did you do again?"

"It was just a trick – a trick to show them I'm above them. Don't worry about it. There's nothing they can do to me anyway."

"...You wanted to show them you're above them? Are you crazy? They could get you killed as easily as they would a bug."

"..." Izaya frowned. A bug? "Don't call me a bug. And no they couldn't." Izaya's mind decided to be annoying and a certain blonde made his way to the raven's thoughts again. He laid back down.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, right. The Heiwajima calls you a flea, doesn't he? That means only he can call you that... Makes sense."

Izaya snorted at that. Only Shizu-chan could call him a bug? What the hell was that about? No one could call him that, Shizu-chan just... He was a brute so he just didn't stop calling him that. After a thought like that Izaya found himself imagining a scene were a group of people, Shiki's people, were after him but then Shizuo threw a vending machine at them claiming that Izaya could only be chased by him. Izaya opened his eyes and with an annoyed and embarrassed face and sighed. "Please stop talking, Namie-san. You're giving me a headache with your voice."

"Oh, how cute." The woman's voice dripped with sarcasm and Izaya rolled his eyes.

The informant couldn't believe his own condition. He was embarrassed, angry, happy and nervous at the same time. He had never in his life felt like he did now. He wanted it to stop. It was too abnormal for him. All of it. Izaya knew what he was feeling but wasn't ready to face it. Not because he was scared or anything but because it was so unbelievable. He had said it during the firework display. He knew he had said it but it still felt like a dream or a hallucination; it was almost something like a story out of a story book. And despite it all Izaya couldn't stop himself from feeling that bitter-sweet emotion of lonliness mixed with the dreams of Shizuo.

"This is ridiculous!" He stated suddenly and got up from the couch suddenly and went to sit in front of his computer that was already on. "Namie-san! Get me some coffee."

"I'm not your maid!"

"Secretary's work includes getting their employers coffee."

"I'll poison it."

"No you won't." And with that Namie walked to the kitchen and poured Izaya a cup of coffee.

While the informant was typing away with his computer, a cup of coffee next to him, his phone rang, signaling that he got a text message. It was Celty.

"I have a delivery for you. Mind seeing me at the South Gate of Ikebukruo as soon as you're able?"

Izaya sighed and lenaed against the table with his arms, "Sure. Tonight or tomorrow?"

"Tonight. At nine or so."

"See you then."

Izaya sighed and frowned. A delivery? From who? Izaya had no idea. Though he did want it to be something interesting and actually life-changing because at the moment he was stuck. Like in a swamp. "I could start philosophy..." Izaya chuckled and then got up from his chair, leaving his work mid-air. He looked out of the window behind him and looked at the street. What was he looking at, anyway? Humans? No, because he had a string urge to search for something.

A few silence-filled minutes later he got back to his work, face looking disturbed and annoyed. And there was something else as well though it was a bit hard to spot.

.

The night of Ikebukuro was always exciting because usually the streets were full of people who didn't show themselves during the day. Those people, like you could probably guess, were usually criminals and alike. Izaya was no exception.

"Celty's late," the informant mumbled as he looked around. He was standing in front of a bar. He could hear jazz music from inside. He took out his phone and it showed that the black rider was already ten minutes late. He would certaintly note about this to her.

Not a moment later Izaya could see an all-black motorcycle heading towards him. It slowed down and parked close to Izaya and the rider with a yellow helmet got off. Izaya approached her.

"Good evening. You're late! I may want a rebate."

Celty took out her devise and typed quickly, 'Sorry about that. Some policemen were chasing me and I had to get rid of them so I took a longer road.'

Izaya smirked, "Oh.. Well, I could take something else than money, still."

Celty seemed to look at Izaya with a confused look. Not an innocent-kind of look but what-the-hell kind of look. 'Usually I wouldn't even think why you would say that because you're partly crazy,' Izaya laughed. 'But somehow the way you said that is weird."

Izaya tilted his head in wonder, "what are you talking about? Please stop talking like a psychologist, Celty."

'I will. And anyway, I belong to Shinra.'

"..." Izaya, after reading the message was silent for a while. "So the delivery? I do hope it's something interesting or else my waiting was for nothing."

'Oh yeah...!' Celty then turned around and took a green bag from under the motorcyckle's seat and turned around, offering it to Izaya who took it without any questions. 'So... want to tell me what's in there? Is this another one of your schemes with money and lizards?"

"No. Actually I was a bit surprised when you messaged me."

'Oh. So you don't have any idea?'

"Well..." Izaya snorted, "I do have an idea but I sure hope it won't come true..." While talking the informant crouched down and placed the bag to the ground. He then opened it, making Celty leaned towards the bag too so that they were both hovering over it.

"-!" They both flinched away, Izaya almost scrambling away from the bag.

What was in the bag? Rotten fish. It was even cut into peaces; and of course it had it's eyes still on. And actually the head of the big salmon was right at the top and the big eye of it was staring blankly upwards. In other words, when Izaya had looked into the bag the eye of the dead big fish had been right there staring at him.

Celty wrote fast, 'What in the world is that?!'

"...Revenge. That's my best guess," the informant almost groaned, disgusted, looking away from the bag. He hated fish eyes the most. "That's what you get from messing around from wannabe-italian mafiosos."

'What mafiosos? Don't tell you were involved with that new mafia!'

"Oh so you've heard of it? And would you close the bag? It's making me sick." Izaya chuckled while looking away from the bag and waving his hand in front of him. Celty closed the bag looked at Izaya who turned to look back at her.

'Yes, I've heard of it. It has a massive territory and I've heard from Shinra that they are brutal in some ways. They also like the original italian mafia. The even use some of the...joining rituals? I don't know what they've called but...'

Izaya nodded and gave a dramatic sigh, "As I suspected! Well they chose well because I absoltely hate dead fish." He shook a bit. That had really pulled him back to reality from all of that thinking – stupid, childish thinking. How hadn't he noticed he had actually been feeling down? He wanted to laugh at himself. Since when had he lost sight of his pride? "Anyway, was that all?"

For a while Celty just looked at him. Izaya smirked at her as she began to type. That took her more than usual but as she finally showed the informant her phone, Izaya kind of understood why it had taken so long for her to type. 'I saw you with Shizuo at the Tanabata festival, when they were shooting the fireworks.' She then added quickly, 'Not that I want to get involved or anything but what were you doing there? And how come you two weren't fighting? At least I think you weren't because Shizuo didn't ran after you.'

Izaya read the message and then made an amused face while looking at Celty like he actually didn't understand what she was getting at. "What do you mean 'get involved'?" Izaya chuckled and then shrugged, "that doesn't make any sense, really. And we weren't actually fighting. I think. So he didn't run after me."

'Care to tell me what you two were talking about?'

"It's not really your business." Izaya answered, irritated though not showing it. He didn't want to talk about it, not really. The whole thing had started to make him feel sick already.

'Shizuo was really silent after we got to him, after you had left.'

Celty wasn't letting it go, was she? Izaya shook his head, "what do you think we talked about? Something important and deep? Do you really think Shizu-chan would really have a conversation with me about anything without throwing in a few punches?" Izaya chuckled because that was the truth. But then, at the time, it hadn't been like that.

'I'm going to ask Shizuo about this the next time we meet. So I will hear about it sooner or later.'

"Then why are you asking me to tell you?" Izaya asked as he leaned on his left leg more, "if you're going to hear about it anyways."

'I want to know because if you said something bad to Shizuo I can do something about it sooner.' And as Izaya tried to hold on to his laughter Celty added, 'If you did something to Shizuo that makes him unhappy I won't forgive you.'

"You truly value your friends, huh?" Izaya breathed out and then had a staring contest with the black rider if you could call it that. Somehow it irritated Izaya even more, the way how Celty wanted to know something like that. But on the other hand Izaya understood her. She was curious. Hell, he would have been curious if he was the headless woman. "Alright, I'll tell you."

And Izaya told her. That they had kissed and how Shizuo had told him he didn't regret it. How Izaya had just said something stupid to him as a joke. How he actually didn't mean it, that it was all for fun. And of course, while telling, he kept the details to himself. He didn't make it sound like it was a big deal. He told it all like it was nothing but a chase. And maybe in a sense it was.

"But then again, when Shizu-chan said he didn't regret it, maybe he actually meant that he didn't regret it because he doesn't know what to regret. After all he was drunk and not himself." Izaya muttered and then chuckled as he looked at Celty to see her reaction. Though, of course, she didn't have one. And that, at least right now, somehow made Izaya feel slightly bothersome. After all he couldn't read her at all. If she had flinched or used some other physical reaction other than facial expression then sure he would have been able to read what she thought of all of it. But she didn't even flinch. She just stood there. Nothing more. For the longest while. At least to the informant, who liked to see a reaction happen as quickly as possible in any situation.

'What did you say to him before you left?'

Izaya could have groaned. "I told him that I liked him."

'And?'

"Nothing else."

Celty seemed like she was judging him silently. Not that Izaya cared much. Headless rider or not he wasn't afraid of her or her shadows. 'Can I ask one thing? Why did you told him that? I mean...If you hate him as much as you claim you do, that makes no sense. Not even as a joke.'

Izaya spun around and began to walk away from the woman who followed him slowly riding her motorbike. "Because the festival was so emotional it made m emotional as well? Not really. I just wanted to test how he reacts."

'And did he?'

"You're scaring me with all those big, deep questions, Celty." Izaya said, making a face. "Shizu-chan never acts how I think he will so I actually didn't..." He cut himself off in the middle of the sentence. He stopped and stared at Celty for a minute who, even if it couldn't be actually seen, looked pleased with herself in Izaya's eyes. Izaya gave Celty a small glare in disapproval.

'You didn't...what?'

Izaya huffed, "I thought that he would either be angry or not. Now, if you excuse me I will be taking my leave. Talking about someone like Shizu-chan gives me a headache." And with that the informant waved his hand and walked away from the black figure, who watched him get away, silently.

"I didn't expect anything. I just said it." Izaya finished in his head as he glared in front of him. That was what Celty had wanted him to say. What she almost had made him say. How could she? Izaya hadn't said "I like you" because of something like that. Though he had expected Shizuo to react in some way, though he hadn't, again. Izaya inhaled and then let it all out as a long sigh."Women really are horrible and vicious, aren't they? All of them. Even the supernatural..."

.

"Alright, this is the final stop for today" Tom announced as they stopped in front of a rather large apartment building. "We were fast today! The clock isn't even half five."

Shizuo nodded," We didn't have that much places to go, either."

Tom hummed, "Yep! It's been an easy day. Let's hope this one goes as easily as the other ones today." And while Shizuo hummed in approval, taking a new cigarette and lighting it, Tom told the details. "This man is rumored to be an information broker. Though, not very good at his job. He gave some false information to some gang and as soon as they noticed the gang wanted to pay back double the money they had paid him. You can probably guess the rest."

"Yeah." The blond grunted. The bastard had probably borrowed some of the money and now won't pay that money back. Information brokers really were the worst. Izaya was the wors of all, he was actually in a different catalogue all-together, but still. Just thinking about the flea made Shizuo's head ache.

They went inside and in less than two minutes a loud scream could be heard inside the building. The light-brown haired man ran outside and fell down to his knees in a hurry. "Wait! I can explain!"

Shizuo was gritting his teeth, the cigarette long ago fallen between his lips. "Explain? Really? And why do you think I'd listen? Just pay up!"

But the man didn't seem to listen as he fought back his tears, "B-But y-you see! I- I was in danger to get beaten by the gang! What else could I have done?!" He seemed to gain some self-confidence as he kept on going, his face ugly and messed up by all the tears and snot. "Yeah! I didn't want to get beaten! Do you know how brutal they were? I had no choice! A-and since I gave all my money away I can't pay you!"

Shizuo let out a laugh as he looked at the man with a face that told more than a thousand words while he spoke down on man, "Well you know what? I bet you're gonna wish you had gotten beaten up because I'm going to kill you." And with that he took the man by his collar and punched him as hard as he could, sending him far, far away. Afterwards nothing else was heard but a crash and a car alarm going off. Shizuo sighed.

"You really beat him up, huh." Tom commented as he walked a little closer to Shizuo. "More than normally."

Shizuo ignored Tom's commentary and took another cigarette, mumbling, "I wasted another cigarette because of that bastard." And in the back of his mind Shizuo hoped he had thrown the man harder. "That was the last stop, right?"

"Yeah. All we need to do now is to go back to boss and make a report."

And that they did.

Shizuo was scolded by their boss by not being able to control himself, again, but that was it. "Just try to hold it in the next time" was all his boss said before dismissing him, again. Shizuo apologized, again, and left the building and headed nowhere. It was all a stupid routine. Because no matter how badly he did, the boss wouldn't say no more than "just watch it next time". Shizuo knew well enough that he would get fired if he couldn't do his job properly. He knew and he did his best. But some times the bastards just didn't pay. And usually they offered nothing but excuses and stupid lies and accusations as to why they were unable to pay back. Those were the times when Shizuo couldn't help his anger. He hated himself for it because usually, if he was normal, he could just beat up those unpleasant men. But no, instead of punching he would throw them half-way across Ikebukuro or punch them through a wall or the ceiling. Shizuo himself was used to it but he knew it wasn't just okay to do something like that. So why in the god damn hell did his boss say only "watch it next time" when it was suppose to be "you have to stop doing that"? Shizuo wouldn't mind if his boss even threatened him by saying "if you keep on doing those things I have to fire you".

Shizuo wanted to punch a wall.

Was he, too, scared of him? Was he just unable to say normal things to his face because he was like this? A man with more physical power than will-power? But then again he understood. And Shizuo couldn't blame him.

Shizuo took a long drag from the cigarette between his lips. "Am I going to wrestle with the same problem my whole life?" the blonde muttered to himself. "And what even was the problem? My strength?" He looked at his free hand and frowned. No. That wasn't it. The problem wasn't his strength. "Aren't I the problem? I have all this power and yet I can not control it. So isn't the problem just me?" Shizuo laughed dryly, "Aren't I becoming a bit too pathetic?"

The blonde shook his head. He really needed to clear out his head. And he knew just who could help him. Celty.

Celty was one of those people who Shizuo trusted greatly. He didn't really know why. Maybe it was because she was a woman (since they are good listeners and easier to talk to, at least this is what he has heard), maybe because she didn't have any facial expression or maybe it was because she didn't talk. Either way he was thankful to her, especially in times like these when he felt like clearing his head for good.

And so Shizuo texted her quickly while walking, "got any time to have a chat with me?"

And the replay from her didn't take long, "Sure. Actually I was just about to ask the same from you. Where are you? I just arrived to the East Gate."

Shizuo stopped near a street lamp to text her back, "How about the usual place? The bridge I mean. It'll take me about 15-20 minutes to walk there."

"Sounds good."

.

The clock was almost six when Shizuo finally got to the bridge, where Celty already was, doing something with her phone. Though, as soon as she saw her blond friend, she waved at him happily and Shizuo did the same with a smile. The sky was already showing sings that evening had arrived by colouring the sky with a hint of orange. The bridge, even though it was a motorway, was not as busy as usual. All in all, it was peaceful. It was ideal to the blonde and most probably to the headless rider as well.

"Evening," Shizuo greeted and looked at his friend. He then leant against the railing, took a cigarette from the box in his pocket, lit it and took a smoke.

'Evening to you too Shizuo. How are you?'

"Good, mostly, I suppose. It's been an easy day at work today, so I'm happy."

'I see.'

"What about you?"

'I'm good. I've had an interesting week.'

Shizuo held the cigarette between his fingers and looked at Celty with a small smile or a grin tugging at his lips, "Oh? How's so?"

'Well, I've heard interesting and strange things.' And she added after erasing the earlier message, '?'. Shizuo chuckled shortly and she added, 'Let's just say I've seen and heard things I wouldn't usually even think to hear or see. I think that sums it up quite nicely. Yeah.'

"I see. Well, I'm glad you've had an interesting and fun week. Mine has been a little... Well, not so good."

Celty was quiet for a moment, 'Is that why you asked to see me?'

Shizuo hummed with a nod and looked away, blowing a big cloud of smoke out between his lips.

Celty gave a little nod, as if it was for herself, and then walked a bit closer to Shizuo away from her motorbike. 'I'm happy you feel that way. I'll do my best to help you if can!'

Shizuo smiled, "Yeah. Thanks."

Minutes went past and neither of them spoke. Shizuo was again grateful to Celty for giving him time to think how to phrase his thoughts. Women really knew these kinds of things. Or maybe Celty just knew him well. Shizuo wanted to believe that. Because like that he could think: "Celty knows me, but of course, she is my friend after all." That made Shizuo's mood a little better and it actually helped him to start his becoming "speech". Because really, when he told Celty about his feelings like this it was really like he gave a speech. But that didn't matter to him much. After all, it made him feel better and Celty didn't complain.

'Shizuo?' Celty poked his arm gently, 'Are you okay? You're smiling.'

Shizuo laughed a little, "yeah. Just thinking. Sorry."

Celty tilted her head and slipped his phone away into her sleeve. Shizuo took his final smoke from the cigarette and then let it fall to the ground and put it out by stepping on it. The sky turned a few shades more orange.

"Remember when the Slasher incident took place? When you drove me to the park and gave me those gloves, too?"

Celty nodded.

"Well... While fighting they said something to me. "No one can love you because of your strength" was what they said. I knew it from before so it wasn't a shock. But... It is the truth. No one can love me because they're afraid of my strength," he looked at his hand and sighed, "Their scared of my strength because I can't control it. I can't control myself." Shizuo waited a moment before continuing, "My brother – Kasuka – Simon and you are the only people who aren't afraid of me. Or rather... You are the only people who I can call "friends". Tom is there too. You are people who stay beside me even though I have this strength that makes me like a monster."

Celty was silent for a while before tilting her head. And before Shizuo could blink twice she held her phone in front of him 'And...?'

After reading her message Shizuo chuckled shortly. "The day when I brought Shion to you I ran into Izaya after leaving your place. And I don't know why it came to it but..." Shizuo frowned slightly and looked to the sky while trying to put it all into words. "He said to me, while looking straight into my eyes, that he wasn't afraid of me. "I am not afraid you" was what he said."

Shizuo did not know it but Celty felt a her chest tighten. She knew Shizuo was a good person. She knew he couldn't do anything but try to control his strength when angry. She wasn't afraid of him, most of the time. And even when she was it wasn't fear for herself. It was fear for Shizuo, that he might hurt himself. At least that was what she thought about it right now. And she was pretty sure, after knowing him as long as she had, what Shizuo was trying to say through all this.

"No one has ever said something like that to me, I think. Not while looking at me into the eyes. Not really knowing what their saying. Sounds kinda stupid now that I say that aloud..."

'Not at all.' Celty would have smiled, probably, if she had a head.

Shizuo snorted and a few seconds later he let out a sigh and continued. "A long time ago I realized no one can love me because of my strenght. Because they're afraid I might hurt them. I also realized and learnt that I can't love anyone because I'm afraid of my own strenght; because I might hurt them. Kasuka is my brother and I would never hurt him. He knows this, he knows me, so he isn't afraid of me. You know me too so I think you know that I won't hurt you. Plus I get the feeling you might even win me in a fight."

Celty waved her hand dismissively, 'No way! Shizuo is far more stronger than me when it comes to fights.'

Shizuo shrugged, "Simon is... Well, he is from Russia. I think that is good enough of an explanation. And even he can't beat me in the end." Shizuo let out another sigh. And for some odd reason, as he thought the next person and began to talk, he didn't feel irritated. Maybe a little bothered but that was all. It was strange. "But Izaya... He just keeps coming onto me. He knows that I get angry – he annoys me on purpose." The blond gave a slight groan, "I really don't know how to explain it. It all sounds dumb in my head." He ruffled his hair.

Celty thought for a while before typing her thoughts, 'Do you mean that you can be yourself around him?'

Shizuo nodded and looked bothered. "It might sound odd but yeah. It's like... Well, like I don't have to be afraid of myself. Since he isn't afraid of me. And usually is good at escaping me before I do get to him." That thought made him grit his teeth for a second but then he just sighed. "I really don't know what I'm saying anymore."

Celty shook her head and began to type and then erased it, typed and erased it. This happened a few times again until she finally showed the screen of her phone to Shizuo. 'I think you just finally realized what he means for you, as odd as that might sound. I don't actually mean that in a romantic sense, don't worry. I mean... I think he makes your life a bit more easier. We've talked about this before and I think this time you've finally found something important.'

Shizuo scratched the back of his head, "Yeah... I know. And it bothers me. Someone like the flea... I actually regret that I found him somehow important. He's annoying and evil. I hate him. And yet he's a person who I can be myself around with. Isn't that called a paradox?"

'Hah, well, maybe.' She typed then quickly, 'But I'm happy. You seem like you again.' Shizuo frowned at this but Celty explained, 'You've been really silent. I've seen and heard you while working and you lose your temper even easier than usually. And...'

"...And?" Shizuo rose his eyebrow, curious.

'You're fights with Izaya have been a little... How do I say it... A little bit out of place?' She tilted her head and typed again, quicker this time, 'At least that's the feeling that I'm getting.'

Shizuo's eyes widened and he didn't say anything for a moment. "So even she noticed it..." "Well... I don't think nothing has really changed. Other than that they're shorter, maybe?" He didn't want to lie but he didn't want to tell her the truth either. Why? Because he wasn't sure himself what it all was about. Or he knew but... "It's just something I know. I don't know how to say it out loud."

Then they were quiet for a while. They heard the noises that came from the quickly passing vehicles and they saw how the sun was again closer to the skyline painting the sky with different colours, like orange, yellow and pink. The wind that was there but wasn't too strong.

"Well... I think I head home now. Thank you for listening again. It really helps me when I talk with you." The blond finally said and looked at his friend calmly.

'I'm glad I was able to help you. I feel better now that I know you feel better.'

"Yeah. Well, alright then. See you, Celty."

'See you, Shizuo.'

And with that they parted. They headed to the opposite directions. Shizuo felt happy and at ease, finally after these last five days of irritation and blurry, mixed thoughts.

"I sure miss Shion though... Maybe I could go and see him soon?"

.

It was Friday, the fifth day after the Hanabata festival. The clock was nearing two in the afternoon. Izaya was sitting in front of his computer, a little absent-minded. The cup of tea he had next to him on the white table was steaming peacefully while the sun shone into the big empty apartment. The informant stared at the screen of his computer and clicking random pages open while every now and then he glanced at the chat room which was currently empty. Not even "Setton" was on. Not that he actually wanted to talk to her. Or anyone he knew at least. He sighed and clicked his internet browser away. Was there something else he could do to entertain himself, was the question Izaya sought for an answer. Because he was terribly bored. He didn't have almost any work at the moment either.

"Not that I'm in trouble." He muttered to himself and drank from his cup.

Izaya looked at the desktop of his computer. There were different icons to all kinds of programs but one in the corner alone stood out a bit. A camera icon. The camera icon to the cameras in Shizuo's apartment. He wondered if they worked. There was only one way to find out and so he opened the program. It took a while but the cameras were soon showing a scene of an empty bedroom, living room, kitchen and an opening front door. Shizuo stepped inside with a bag in his left hand. He had been shopping, apparently. The blonde took off his shoes with a sigh and walked to the kitchen and began to unpack.

Izaya leaned against the backrest of his computer chair and let out another sigh that almost echoed. He glanced outside from the big window and wondered how the world still hadn't ended. "Really... I thought the end of the world was near. Apparently not." Izaya took his cup and drank a little of his tea and watched the blonde again. He was texting someone. Izaya frowned and clicked the windows away, put his computer to sleep and got up still holding his tea cup in his left hand. He went and settled down to the sofa then and turned on the TV. He browsed the channel a little while before settling to watch the familiar anime with the two boys. It had just began and apparently it was the last episode. "How exciting".

Well, in the end it kinda was but because Izaya hadn't seen the previous episodes he didn't get most of it. Especially not the scene where the two kissed again in the end. Though, Izaya was amused by the fact that Shizuo's cat's name was Shion, which he remembered shortly after the episode had began.

The next thing that was about to start was Naruto but Izaya had no interest so he changed the channel. Izaya stopped at random and surprisingly a show was on, a film, actually. Izaya hadn't seen it before. There was a woman who's voice was apparently like a narrator of the film. Izaya had to admit that the sceneries in the films were very stunning and after a few minutes into the film Izaya decided to watch it.

"It's not that I'm shy. It's not that I don't treasure my friends. I just don't want them to get hurt. Ever since I was fifteen I couldn't speak, as people said, normally. You see, I couldn't lie. Even my parents were very confused when they first actually realized it.. I was 18 when my first boyfriend dumped me. And all because he couldn't take it when I told him exactly how I felt."

Izaya drank the rest of his tea and took a better position on the sofa.

"The only one who hasn't left me yet or complained about me always speaking the truth is my cat. I love her so very much. I would be very lonely without her. I think that me and her are similar in a way. She, just like I do, always tells me exactly how she feels. If she's hungry, she tells me. If she's lonely or sad, she tells me. Even when she is furious at me, she tells me. Loud and clear."

After about 15 minutes Izaya found it boring and just decided to turn the TV off. He went on his back and stared at the ceiling with a glare. "I'm bored!" He complained and sighed. "I don't have anything to do! Usually when this happens I would go tease Shizu-chan but that's not possible, now is it?" The raven gave a lonely sigh. But he could go out and walk among his humans. "Now that I think about it, I haven't observed humans in a looong time," he smirked and got up. "Shizu-chan is at home at the moment too so I don't have to worry about him, either. Yay!" He chuckled and took his jacket from the corner of the couch and was soon out of the door. "Not that I even should worry about someone like him."

.

Shizuo stared at the apartment door in front of him and glanced down to the bag in his hand. He sighed and knocked on the door. "Will he even remember me? Probably not..." the blonde mumbled and let out a long sigh. Then the door was opened by Celty.

About two hours ago Shizuo had asked Celty if he could see Shion some day. The headless raider had almost instantly replayed that of course and then had suggested this day. Of course Shizuo was up for it since it was his day off (which had actually come by surprise but he didn't complain) but wanted to go grocery shopping before he left. And that's why he was now there, behind the crazy doctor's and Celty's door, with a bag of treats for the cat. Shizuo felt a little off by this setting.

"Hi," Shizuo mumbled and excused himself as his friend let him into the apartment. There was a loud 'meow' sound right after Celty closed the door and a familiar cat appeared from the living room. Shizuo, taking his shoes off first, smiled and bent down to pet the cat who in return purred slightly and nuzzled its head against Shizuo's hand and leg. "You've really grown, huh, Shion?"

'He has! And he eats a lot more than usually.'

Shizuo straightened himself and looked at Celty, nodding. "So he has stayed healthy?"

'Yeah. No problems at all. He's been full of energy. Though some times...' Celty kept a pause and then typed, 'Some times Shion comes at me or wonders around the apartment, making noise. It's like he's searching for something.'

Shizuo frowned, "searching for something...?" he went to the living room and sat on the couch, Shion immediately jumping on to his lap and starting to purr rather loudly. Shizuo smiled a little.

'Well, more like someone. I'd like to think he searches for you.'

Shizuo chuckled and shook his head, patting the softly purring cat on his lap. "That's a nice thought you have about something like that. And how do you think it's me who he's looking for?"

'I don't. I just... Have a feeling. You're his actual owner after all.'

"Oh. I see. So that's what you mean. Kinda like I'm his dad or something?"

'Exactly!'

Shizuo remembered to give the treats he had bought for Shion when Celty asked if he liked some coffee or tea. Shinra arrived 30 minutes after and his expression was purely surprised when he found a certain Shizuo Heiwajima playing on the floor with a cat. After one hour Shizuo left and thanked Celty for letting him see Shion. Though, Celty just shook his head and said Shizuo he didn't need to thank her.

'And besides, thanking me for letting you see him feels like thanking me for letting you see your son.'

Shizuo let out a laugh while Shinra was almost brave enough to yell at Shizuo and tell him to stop putting weird thoughts into Celty's head. Metaphorically speaking.

After leaving Shinra's apartment Shizuo decided not to go home yet. The clock was only five or so and it was his day off so why not take a walk? It was ideal for him, in fact, this moment and actually the rest of the day: there was nothing to do (since it was his day off), the weather was great and there was nothing or no one to piss him off (because it was his day off he didn't need to bump into those annoying people). "Ideal indeed."

Ever since yesterday, when he had talked to Celty, Shizuo had felt much better. It was like he suddenly knew where he was and how to think. It was like he knew himself a little better or like he had been tired but taken a nap and was now feeling awake. Yeah, something like that.

The blonde yawned, put on his blue sunglasses and headed to the closes park.

.

Izaya stopped mid-way his merry walking when he heard a familiar voice call out his name.

"...Izaya?"

Izaya stared, surprised, at Shizuo who was sitting on the bench not far away from where he stood. Shizuo stared, just as surprised, at Izaya who was standing not far away from where he was sitting on the park bench. They were like that, halted, for at least 10 seconds.

Izaya almost gasped as he took the first step, attempting to run away. Shizuo, however, had good reflexes and reached for Izaya's arms, grasping it tightly. Shizuo's grip didn't last, however, because the informant got to pull his hand away from him very quickly. The blonde grunted, Izaya frowned and the chase began.

First they ran almost to the centre of the city. And it was far from normal. Izaya noticed this when they had run for five minutes without him dodging anything. And that was when the raven also realized he was in a real danger. Almost glaring he quickly threw a couple of blades towards Shizuo who just dodged them. Izaya glanced at Shizuo's face and didn't like what he saw. "Such a serious expression..."

Anyone who knew how their chase usually went had probably noticed it but there was something wrong with the chase. Because no matter how intense the chase seemed like, with Shizuo sometimes yelling the flea's name or with Izaya throwing knives to stop the blonde monster of a man, there was no actual chase. And the danger Izaya had noticed? It was this.

Izaya jumped over fences, tried to get Shizuo under a car a few times, but it was all futile. He didn't get angry - and that if anything was making Izaya feel uneasy. It was how Shizuo chased him. Because believe it or not Izaya knew Shizuo when he was chasing after him and right now... right now he wasn't trying to throw anything at him. He didn't shout his name so that the whole city knew the chase was on again. He didn't have that deathly, brutal, animal-like glare while keeping his eyes on his target, Izaya. The blonde simply chased him. Not aiming for a kill. Not aiming to hurt him.

In the past when the brute had been trying to "hunt him down" Izaya had known why. But right now he didn't. And that made him more confused and by that even more uneasy. What was going to happen if he actually was able to catch him? What was Shizuo going to do with him? Death was something Izaya wasn't all that worried about. After all it was natural. And by not actually running away like a coward, like normal humans did when it came to Shizuo, Izaya had sealed a long-time deal with himself and his pride: if Shizuo ever did get him caught he would let the blonde kill him – have his way with him, basically. Because that was the deal.

But this is a completely different thing...!"Izaya glared ahead of him and started to feel panic rising. Because for the first time in a long while he had no idea what was going to happen. He had no idea how he was going to get out of his own mess. For the first time in his entire life, Izaya really wanted to get away from Shizuo – the Shizuo that he did not know.

Taking the next right Izaya decided it was time for him to take it the usual way and turned next to an alley.

The raven turned around and took the last two steps before his back hit the wall after reaching the end of the narrow alley. He breathed a bit heavily and glared at Shizuo when he suddenly stood before him.

"You finally giving up, flea?"

Izaya chuckled and took out a knife from his pocket, "No, sorry."

Shizuo huffed and then just looked at the smaller man for a while. Izaya just gave him a glare."Now, now, Shizu-chan. It's very impolite to stare at people. And because it's you I find it very disgusting as well."

"..." Shizuo looked as if he was studying him for a second before putting his sunglasses away. "You know, I think now if ever is a good time to start explain yourself. What the hell are you up to – or were?"

Izaya could feel how his hand twitched and his breath almost hitched. Now he knew why the blonde was chasing him. Now he knew what would happen if Shizuo caught him and made Izaya face him. And he knew he wanted to avoid it at all cost.

Izaya charged at Shizuo and before the latter could react Izaya threw a knife at him somehow and almost slided next to the blonde's leg. It was surprisingly easy.

After leaving the alley and the main streets, Izaya almost cursed out loud. He had only one way to go: the road that went by the field and the river. And right there he had very little of places where he could hide, if any. He threw a knife at Shizuo and continued to run. Shizuo was too close. And he still wasn't throwing anything at him. Suddenly memories started to push their way into his mind and he felt like screaming. He didn't ask for any of this. He didn't ask to get into something like this with someone like Shizuo. What was it all anyway?

Izaya had no idea anymore.

"If you won't stop running I'm going to have to talk with you like this!"

Izaya ignored him and tried to get his thoughts in order. After the small bridge across the river, what then?

"Why the hell did you tell me something like that?!" Shizuo shouted from behind the raven, making his gasp. Was he serious? "Why did you kiss me the night when I was drunk?"

"What the hell are you talking about! And don't shout something as absurd as that in public!"

"You're not giving me a choice!"

"I am! Stop chasing me!"

"I won't! I'll chase you until you tell me!"

It was frustrating. Izaya thanked, for once, that there were no people around. "Sorry, but I don't recall!"

The sun had started to set down by the two of them were running towards the bridge. Izaya still tried to stop making the blonde shut up by throwing a knife of shouting him to shut up or stop saying nonsense. They were already out of breath, Izaya more than Shizuo. Or at least the raven was positive it was like that because Shizuo seemed to get closer to him by the minute. "I can't panic because of something like this!" He tried to tell himself that but for nothing. Izaya had no idea what to do anymore expect run.

The bridge stood silently before Izaya, alone and waiting. The water seemed shoal under it. Well, of course, it hadn't rained in a while. The water only reatched to your knees.

Izaya glanced behind and his eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat – Shizuo was right behind him. "Damn bartender-brute...!"Izaya tried to run faster and again his eyes widened when he realized he had an escape route. Shizuo's weak spot; his brother; his clothes.

Izaya turned left to cross the bridge and then, before Shizuo's hand could reach and grasp him finally, he jumped over the edge with a single, desperate thought and a wish in his mind: "He wouldn't wet the clothes he got from his brother! It would ruin them completely...!"

It was the time for Shizuo to widen his eyes and gasp in surprise. "What-" He looked down from the edge only to see Izaya way below him in the water, almost completely soaked, about to dash away. The blonde frowned and without a second thought, jumped after the informant.

14 pages. Or maybe like 13 and 2/3 pages. That is how long this chapter is. Fuck.

So long... Might be my longest yet.

Okay so... The end of this chapter is what is is. It went as I planned it to go but the way that I wrote it is from the land called "did you even try". I seriously tried to write it as I saw it in my head, how I had long, long, loooooong ago planned it to go, but... It just didn't. Especially the very end of it. It starts so suddenly, sorry. Though to my defence I have to say I wanted it to start like that. I wanted to give it a certain feeling, see. (Not that I succeeded...) I JUST WANTED TO FINISH AND UPLOAD. THAT'S IT'S. AND I DID. I don't fuc- care.

I'm having a bit of a rough time at the very moment so I apologize for my bad language. Nothing person, reader-lovelies. Just letting some steam out. I'm so sorry. T_ T

Special thanks to my friend who's name begins with the letter M. She is amazing and is all-knowing when it comes to Durarara, especially Shizaya. Without her help this whole fic would be just ultra-ooc-ness. So thank you dear!

And now for the question of the day: what is your favourite scene/s? Mine definitely has to be the scene where Shizuo and Celty "talk thing over". The time when I wrote it was a bit unexpected, actually. I was suppose to go to sleep but then I thought: "hey, I'm going to continue my fanfic now". I didn't feel excited or anything. Mostly calm. But still the text just kept on coming and I just... wrote. Wow. It was a weird experience. Though, the fact that I write it at 1AM - 3:40 AM might have something to do with it. Still, I love it. I love Shizuo. He's so... cuddly. At least when you think how lonely he must feel from time to time ;_;

About the next chapter: WARNING! It will be super fluffy...! Oh yes. I don't know how long it will be but fluffy it's going to be. And in addition about the whole fic: it might be at the end of it's path. I'm not sure yet but I think there won't be many chapters left.

Thank you for reading and for waiting this chapter! Reviews are appreciated.