Draw hand back…don't move…keep facing at the target…hold knife blade firmly…bend arm correctly…THROW!
I was concentrating desperately hard, not wanting to miss- again. The knife-throwing lesson was going well. By that, I mean that I had hit the target twice in a total of 57 throws. Not bad for a blind girl, but I was getting discouraged.
Legolas and Haldir kept assuring me that I was doing very well; my technique was improving, and reminding me that it would be easier with living targets, as I would hear and smell (if they were orcs) them. Yeah, I thought, but what if they stand still? This time, the rewarding 'thunk' brought applause from more than two people.
"Well done, Mina!" I heard Aragorn call. Smiling, pleased, I turned to where I thought Legolas was- he and Haldir sounded rather similar in pitch, and I didn't always know whom it was if they'd only said a few words, so I told them apart by their scents; Legolas smelled very sandalwood and musk, whereas Haldir was more of a 'summer fruits' kind of smell. I'd be in big trouble if they switched cologne's! I held out a hand, and he placed another knife in my palm.
"I'm going to try again." I announced determinedly to my main teacher. Aragorn took up a place beside Haldir- all well behind me.
I concentrated until I thought my head would explode, remembered everything I could, stayed still until calm filled me from head to toe. I did a stupid exercise my psychiatrist had taught me after the fire. Rosebud opening to the sun. Rosebud. Sun. Then I threw. And missed.
"It was very close, Mina." Aragorn said supportively, "and your technique is improving excellently." I sighed.
"Perhaps we should stop for today- we will be late for lunch as it is, and you must keep building up your strength," Haldir said tactfully, and I heard him stride past me, towards the irritatingly undamaged target to gather the knives. Legolas laid a hand on my shoulder, and, seeing my downcast face, he suggested something that made me smile hopefully.
"Estel, perhaps before supper or tomorrow, if we are not too weary, we could instruct Mina in the basics of close combat? There may come a time when she has thrown all the knives she has."
Aragorn stepped closer- I could hear his boots crunch the fresh grass, and sense him more closely. His kingly aura was more diminished than any of the elves, but I was used to it, and could pick it out more easily than I could distinguish between any of the elves (apart from Legolas, who was very distinctive). His earthy smell was rather pleasant now he had bathed.
"You are right. We shall see after some food, I think."
I got the feeling that he wanted to say more, but was holding it back. What was this? Some macho part of the guy code? Never mind. If I had learnt anything while travelling with nine males, even such a mixed group as ours, it was do not break the guy code. And to eat while the food was there, or it might not be there long enough for me to eat it.
I smiled at the memories that brought, and allowed Legolas to lead me towards our little campsite. As we approached, we heard raised hobbit voices, arguing loudly. Legolas sighed, but I could tell he was smiling as he did so.
"I'll wager my knife it's about food," said Aragorn, and a smile was also in his tone.
"No bet," I said, clutching Legolas arm as we entered uneven ground.
"Do they ever argue about anything else?" Legolas asked sardonically. He was right- the four hobbits were a very closely-knit group, and only food had ever split them into factions before. There were two factions- Frodo and Sam, who wanted to keep food for everyone, and Merry and Pip, who didn't. It was quite amusing most of the time. Except the rare times when Merry and Pip won. Soon we could hear the argument.
"You will!"
"You won't!"
"So? You do!"
"You don't!"
"Exactly. You say you will, but we know you won't!" ()
Aragorn strode ahead of us, and we heard his cheerful greeting break up the argument. Since Gandalf's fall, he had become more and more naturally our leader, and we all gave him a sort of respect-boost. I don't think he liked it much; he seems to think it puts him further away from us- or at least, that's what I gather from it. But it was good for the rest of the Fellowship and I; we'd pulled into more of a team since we'd all had to share mourning grief. I was doing my best to follow Gandalf's instructions, and mother them all a little. They pretended that I mothered them too much, but I secretly suspected they rather enjoyed it.
"Look, Pip, Mina's back!" Called Merry excitedly.
"How was your lesson?" Frodo asked, as usual managing to cut straight to the core of the matter. I nodded, but Legolas, normally content to leave chatter to others, cut in.
"She will be very good if she continues to practise. I have never known such an unerring sense of direction."
These words of praise from our normally taciturn companion stunned me, and perhaps the hobbits too, as they were quiet for a moment after he had spoken. Aragorn tagged on a little comment of his own that touched me.
"I am proud of you, cousin."
I let go of Legolas' arm, and walked towards the campfire. I had not mentioned it yet; scared perhaps of raising my hopes, but I was pretty sure Aragorn's athelas ointment was doing a whole lot of good. I thought I could see a slight glow where the fire could be, and every time I was reminded of the possible healing, my heart blossomed with joy. To my surprise, Boromir came and sat next to me.
"Are you thirsty? I know weapons training is hard work- my father used to make myself and my brother train four hours a day, and you have done near that. On our first day, aged fourteen, Faramir and I fell asleep half an hour afterwards, and did not wake for another day!"
I chuckled along with him and accepted water, thinking that I'd be truly glad for my rest tonight. However, I had a plan, and no mere tiredness was going to make me quit! Besides, I knew I'd feel better after food and a rest- well enough to do what I had in mind, anyway.
I was right. After two gorgeous -compared to our usual stew- plates of perfectly done fish and vegetables, I felt energised and refreshed. I'd always been sporty; before I had known the truth about my heritage, I had considered going into physiotherapy, but the very air of Lothlorien seemed to hyper-oxygenate, cleansing, reviving, healing. I lay back- carefully- and imagined what I might see, if I was to suddenly open my eyes and take in colour once more.
Multicoloured leaves, soft greens, bronze, copper, shades of reddish gold, yellow like hay, yellow like sunshine, yellow like gold leaf on the edge of a book, or painted on canvas. Deep orange, dark, velvety reds. It was autumn in the woods; and the time of the elves was fading, I recalled. The trees seemed to emanate sorrow; it was over, their time of peace, when they spoke to mortals, and watched over them, guarded them, provided for them. A wave of gentle sadness, hung faint in my mind, like that of a parent sending their only child into the cruel world. Parted perhaps, forever.
I jumped as Legolas laid a hand on my shoulder. I had been deep in my imagination, and failed to sense him. I spoke without thinking.
"The trees are sad you all must leave."
I felt him start with surprise. His smooth, deep voice reminded me of melted butter and sugar stirred together in a finely made bowl, richly, delicately,accented.
"Yes. Can you sense it too? It has been such in my home for only thirty mortal years or so, but the Golden wood has been deepening its colour for a hundred at least. You must not be sad; we do not leave yet."
He must have seen me frown; autumn for over a hundred years? How I would have longed to see it- now and before; in spring and summer. He failed to mention that their leaving of Middle Earth was already at hand, and I listened for Aragorn's voice automatically- the elves of Rivendell were his family, and he would feel the pain most keenly.
"And I am glad of it, lassie! The depths of Middle Earth have still much to reveal to us, and I would like it if young Legolas here could have a taste of proper dwarven hospitality, in return for the Lady's kindness."
I hear Gimli's voice take on a wondering tone at his own mention of Lady Galadriel. He was simply stunned by her; and had not conceived of such beauty- that I would never see. Another thing I regretted.
"That sounds like an excellent idea, Gimli!" I encouraged them: their growing friendship was most useful to all our companions.
And so we sat, chatting amongst ourselves, Aragorn and Legolas begging off more training in favour of discussing a better training plan, which was when I decided to 'have a rest'. With my practise knives clutched loosely in one hand as I walked steadily towards my tent.
(Yes, I was listening to The Zutons. Sorry!)