Sorry, this chapter took a while, but it felt like a big one considering what happens. I hope you don't hate me for it, but please tell me if you do.
Does this need a higher rating? I think I asked last chapter too, but if you think so then please say!
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Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.
Morgana feels sick. She hates herself. She wants to scream and hide away so that no-one can ever find out. Especially Merlin. Gwen. Arthur. She thinks of how disgusted her brother would be with her now. How Gwen would comfort her, concealing her true opinions with a mask. And Merlin... she didn't know. She'd never seen him angry before and that's what terrified her the most. His reaction was completely unknown to her. He might ignore her. Or cry. Or shout at her for being so stupid. Tell her to leave.
The last idea makes the bile rise up in her throat again and she runs to the toilet, her stomach emptying it's contents for the fifth time that morning.
She staggers back to the kitchen, falling into her chair.
"I'm back!" Merlin calls cheerfully as the front door shuts behind him and she hates herself all over again.
"Hey," she says flatly.
"Woah, what happened to you?" He asks in a more serious tone, pulling out a chair to sit next to her. "Are you okay?"
"Not really. I feel ill."
"Do you feel sick?"
"Been there, done that."
"I'll get you a drink," Merlin tells her and a few moments later a glass of water is put down in front of her.
"Thanks."
"So, what do you think it is? Food poisoning or something? You might just have caught a tummy bug, loads of people are getting them at the moment."
For a split second, she considers lying to him. She could always wait a few months and tell him it's his.
"Yeah, you're probably right."
He smiles at her and she feels like killing herself. This isn't fair. On anyone.
"Maybe you should go back to bed, get some rest?"
"Okay," she agrees, her voice a whisper. She goes to stand, but the room starts spinning and she grips the table for support.
Merlin pushes her back down into the chair to try and steady her, but she only forces him back so that she can rush to the toilet again, the familiar burning sensation building up at the back of her throat.
After, she goes to walk back into the kitchen, but Merlin steers her into the living room before she can object.
"How many times have you done that today?"
"About six, maybe seven."
"Try not to do it again."
"I'm not making any promises."
He presses his cool palm against her clammy forehead. "Maybe we should take you to the doctor's."
"No! I mean, we don't want to waste their time. It's probably nothing," Morgana says quickly, if she got any medical attention they would only tell her what she already knew.
"We wouldn't be wasting anyone's time! You've thrown up seven times-"
"Six."
"Alright, six. You're pale, dizzy and shivering. You're in a bad state!"
"I'm fine," she says firmly, clenching and unclenching her fists in her lap.
"No you aren't. I'm going to ring and make an appointment."
"But-"
"No buts. Now, sit down while I go and ring them."
"It appears," the doctor begins after a few tests and examinations. "That you are indeed pregnant. Congratulations to you both."
She hangs her head in shame, a sickening feeling taking over her body. He thinks that the child is Merlin's. And apparently Merlin does, too.
"Thank you!" Merlin says a bit too enthusiasticly as her reaches over to shake the doctor's hand. "Thank you very much!"
She stares at him. Surely he must know it isn't his.
They drive home in silence.
"Merlin, you do know that-"
"Oh for God's sake, don't people know how to indicate?" Merlin yells as a red car suddenly pulls across them.
"Merlin, please just-"
"Don't you just hate it when people do that? It makes me wonder how they even got their liscence in the first place," he mutters, interupting her again."
"My father died in a car accident."
"I'm sorry."
He continues to interupt her as she tries to talk to him until they get back to the house.
He sits her down on the sofa with a hot chocolate and some hot water bottles.
"Can we talk?" Morgana asks him as he busies himself by tidying the room.
"What's there to talk about?" He answers with another question as some 'Doctro Who' boxsets are shoved roughly against the wall.
"The fact that I'm pregnant."
"Ah, of course," he turns to her with a strange smile. "It must have slipped my mind."
She lowers her gaze to the floor as he continues his work. "You do know... you know the baby isn't yours, don't you?"
"Of course. We used contraception and only slept together five days ago. It would be weird for you to be having these symptons now."
"Right, well-"
"Oh, no. I'm not the father! The abusive, drug-dealing alcoholic is! That will look good at school on the family trees! I can imagine the conversations now! 'My dad's a fireman. What does your dad do?' 'Oh, mine died of a heroin overdose!'" Merlin fumes. He has stopped tidying now and is pacing back and forth.
"Will you just stop it?" Morgana retorts, jumping to her feet. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm not particularly happy about this either!"
"No? Well, what are you going to do about it then? Get rid of it?"
"You know I can't do that," she whispers, her shoulders slumping.
"What are you going to do then? Keep it? I really don't mind, Morgana, it's entirely up to you! It's your problem not mine!"
"But I don't know what to do! Why can't you just tell me?" She pleads with him, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.
"You really want to know what I think?" Merlin begins angrily. "I think that this is all some big joke to you. That you set this all up, just to hurt me."
"We both know that's not true."
"Isn't it? How about when we slept together? Did that mean anything? No? Well, thanks for the one-night stand Morgana, you were really great." He rages.
At this point, she slaps him. Because he is being so unreasonable and it isn't fair. She turns to leave the room, but Merlin grabs her arm and pulls her back to him, his arms quickly going around her waist to hold her there. She buries her face into his chest while he buries his into her hair.
"I didn't mean it. I'm sorry," he whispers desperately. "I love you. You know that. You can't change it either. Please, Morgana. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. Please, just..."
"Just what?"
"I don't know," Merlin admits. "I really don't know."
DUN DUN DUN. Don't hate me. I nearly didn't do this because I felt too evil, but yeah, I'm sorry. I hope it was a good twist - well not good, but you know what I mean - to the story.
Please review, as I am EXTREMELY anxious to hear your thoughts and things to improve on!
Thank you for reading!