DISCLAIMER:
Kate and Castle would've kissed already without any mundane excuses. Ppl there is so much chemistry between them, soon there will be a new photon, or neuron placed in the periodic table, called KC.
Ryan and Esposito would be a really sexy slash pair, which would satisfy my dreams forever.
If CASTLE was mine, Demming and Josh, would both be either dead, or severely handicapped, after I'd tortured them painfully.
If slash is frowned on, and I think it is in the US, at least. Kevin and Alexis would be the 'it' pair, after Castle and Kate and Esposito and Lanie.
If I owned Castle, the above points would be moot, and I wouldn't be posting a story on this or any site, I'd be on a ship in the Caribbean, having hot steamy sex, with my two favorite detectives (Ryan and Esposito, in case u were wondering).Moving on,
SUMMARY: THIS IS AN OOC STORY. Alexis and Ryan, fall in love with each other, it's a gradual slow beginning to what I consider a beautiful relationship, between two sexy individuals…. Oh and the many trials and sufferings they follow through it. This may be a tad OOC, but I really like exploring the horizons. I'm not sure how old Kevin Ryan is, but I'd wager 25-27. Feel free to correct me. I'm pretty sure Alexis is 17 in the 3rd Season. I just placed her age somewhere, around 17, almost 18 in three months; I'm putting her birthday, in the month of March, the date being: 20-03-93. Not sure when her birthday is, either. I read a story of friendship between Alexis and Ryan, which had me begging for more. The starting, that is, chapter one, might sound familiar, it's because it belongs to Ms. Cindy Ryan (well not belongs, exactly the setting is just hers the plot's mine). She ended it as a brother sister thing-a-majing, that left a foul, taste in my mouth. I loved her writing, but frankly speaking the story was a dead end. You should read it; it's one of my favorites.
NOW THE PLOT IS ALL MINE; EXCEPT FOR THE STARTING-SETTING OF THIS STORY (Chapter one's first scene), AND THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ABC STUDIOS, BEACON PICTURES, EXPERIMENTAL PICTURES AND ANDREW W. MARLOWE. THE REST OF THE STORY AND CHAPTERS BELONG SOLELY TO ME 'SAHIBA'.
This story is rated M. Please Enjoy.
Dear Readers; It is true that I may end up screwing the time line, somewhere along the fact, that I'm not sure how this will pan out anymore… On a personal note, I'm not too happy with Chapter Nine; I might end up changing that… slightly.
WARNING:
Explicit Slash (wiki the meaning) scene coming up… Marked with OOOOO if you wish to jump over it; be my guest. Not much speech goes down except the general obvious. Prepare yourself for change in language…
Chapter Eleven
Broken Wings
Kevin jolted awake in shock and struggled to remember where he was, his mind froze in shock as he felt arms press him down, struggling for release he pushed through them, he could hear voices around him , 'hold him down', 'shock', words and sentences, orders that mingled with an intense desperation. Kevin yelled out, "Get away from her!" he could see a girl, being dragged through murky darkness, her scream echoing in his mind, he needed to get away from his captors, and save her life.
Who are you?
Kevin wondered,
Why do you need my help?
Before his queries could be answered he heard an ear-splitting scream, and a shot ring through the silence, desperation clung to him, as he squirmed and pushed, he thrashed wildly in extreme anxiety, he couldn't hear anything it was too silent, he pushed and shoved his way, from the hands that gripped him.'Brace his arms! He heard the direct order given.
"No!" his mind screamed, "NO, I have to reach her, I need to find her. Let me go. Please", he begged, grabbing his assailant, he looked up to see nothing but darkness, and blood on his hands, her scream echoed in his head, as he fell to his knees, in anguish, "It wasn't my fault", he pleaded as his mind released him from the darkness, his pain flowing free as tears fell.
Kevin's eyes snapped open, only to stare into deep grey eyes, eyes filled with worry and understanding, "Easy", the voice murmured. Kevin looked left and right, his movements skittish. "You're save Kevin, calm down, you're safe. Everything's going to be alright!" "You might wanna get off of him", another gruff voice spoke somewhere on Kevin's Right. Kevin's jolted, flinching as he tried to see past the murky edges of dream and reality merging together. "Ssshhh...its okay", the soft voice from before spoke again.
Kevin concentrated on the soft Irish-lilt in the stranger's voice, and calmed down, he distinctly became aware of someone mumbling aggressively in the background, and a soft, yet sharp female's voice retorting a strong command, 'to be quiet'. "Kevin, look at me. Focus on my voice; I know you can hear me. Its okay, everything's going to be alright. MY name is James, I'm your friend. Listen to my voice. Wake up, come on, wake up". Kevin shook his head, and focused on the voice, calling his name, blinking rapidly, he found himself in James' room, his cousin on top of him, knees, bracing his arms to the bed, and eyes boring straight into his own.
Throat raspy, he managed a lopsided smirk, and croaked out, "I always knew you wanted to be man on top", he mumbled. James sniggered, "Welcome back, kiddo. Welcome Back!" Kevin gestured weakly for James to move, using his eyes, mostly. James nodded, and moved off of Kevin. The movement caused Kevin to look around the room; he took in the other two occupants. Sitting up, he cracked his neck, and turned towards them.
A man stood rigid as the dead, with a woman scowling at him. Kevin chuckled inwardly, and smiled weakly, "Hey Javi", he mumbled. Javier moved away from the woman, and knelt by Kevin's bed, "you okay, bro?" he asked Kevin worriedly. Kevin nodded, "More or less". Javier nodded once, and before anyone could react, pulled Kevin into a tight hug, "You scared me stiff, dude. You okay? I mean you wanna talk about it?" Kevin smiled and relaxed into the hug. Knowing this as Javier's way off easing any situation, "Naah, not right now", he pulled back slightly, a bit wary of how long Javier had hugged him.
James watched the interaction, and grimaced, stealing a glance over at the dark-skinned woman, he winced at her scowl.
Boy, is she pissed or what?
Shrugging he paused, unsure of moving forward, and pulling Javier away from Kevin, or not; then again, he was the medical expert, when it came to Kevin's rather abrupt nightmare issues. Clearing his throat, awkwardly he stepped closer to Kevin, sitting on the edge of the bed, he sighed, "Chin up, no need to look so freaked out", he addressed Kevin, as he squirmed away from James. "I just need to check your vitals", handing a writing pad out to (A/N: Took me ten minutes to recall her name. Progress! Lol!) Dr. Lanie Parish, "would you do the honors?" he asked as she nodded her head, and quickly schooled her features into a cool confident smirk, "Of course, what do you take me for?" she shot back.
Lanie shook her head as she realized James had asked her a question, having spent the last five minutes glaring at Javier, she looked at the writing pad, that had been offered, smirking as she schooled her features she moved forward to take the writing pad. Avoiding eye contact with Javier and Kevin, she didn't miss the way James smiled, softly, as she grabbed his writing pad, the smile threw her off, but she shrugged it away, as another peculiar habit, or occurrence when it came to the Irish Doctor.
It almost felt like he understood…things….
Ah jeez, snap out of it Lanie, why are you acting like a melodramatic toddler, in her pre-teens.
Pulling herself together, Lanie noted down the exact vitals as James checked them, she watched Kevin as he began to relax under the affectionate hand on movements, the Irish doctor placed on him, each caress, a significant movement that relaxed the detective, subtle gestures that indicated the two had known each other for quite some time. Smiling softly, she sighed, she sometimes wished she could have the same kind of affection with Javier, but things always seemed to clash. The subtle gestures, James presented to Kevin to get him to relax, were the same as the ones Richard often used on Kate, The knowledge of knowing exactly what buttons to push, to harness a particular response, or to garner a certain end result. Javier hadn't yet figured out the way to understand Lanie, like he wasn't entirely sure as to how to talk to her. Hiding the relationship at first seemed pointless; they were both rather useless at being subtle. Subtle was more Kevin's approach, even Kate who usually blew up at Richard knew how to keep things mum. Lanie paused in her noting as she glanced over at Javier, she almost dropped the pad, as she saw his smoldering gaze fixed on her, he indicated her to follow him, as he walked out of the room. Lanie sighed again, as she gently tapped James on his shoulder. Looking up, James seemed to sense that Javier was no longer in the room, and simply nodded as she handed the pad back with a simple apology, leaving the room she sighed wearily, oblivious of the pair of worried eyes watching her rather slumped departure.
Ah great, Now what? I'm too tired for all this drama…
Kevin watched Lanie walk out the room, her demeanor slumped over in absolute exhaustion, "Is she alright?" he asked James, worriedly. James shrugged a smirk half forming, "There's nothing physically wrong with her, and she's just a bit emotionally exhausted. What she needs to do really, is talk to that hotheaded partner of yours, or they might just end up in a mess", he answered as he jotted another point down. "You mean they'll break up! Why? What happened that they'd end up in such a fragile situation, is it my fault? I mean I have been rather prissy lately and what with all the nightmare stuff, I know Javier's paying way too much attention to me, and I mmph-", Kevin's speech faltered as he felt a pair of warm lips land on his own, groaning in defeat, he lay back, and pulled James on top of him.
The kiss started innocent enough as James had intended to shut Kevin up mostly, but Kevin wanted more, his cold hands, slid under James' sweater, reveling on the warmth and the shiver that James barely suppressed. Pulling back slightly James struggled in Kevin's grasp, "s-stop", he tried to say as, Kevin ignored him, and attacked his neck. Moaning as Kevin's lips bit down on his pulse point, he struggled to fight the immediate need to pull away, "stop K-Kevin, your friends are just outside this room", he tried to pull away, only to have Kevin push him back on to the bed and towering over him. He slid his hand to the drawstring of James' pants, James groaned, and with one last ditch effort tried to pull away, "Kev, the door is open, your colleagues are here, p-please s-stop", Kevin smirked against his neck, and without much preamble climbed off of James, he closed the door and locked it, smirking he turned to his cousin who had himself propped on his elbows watching him warily
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(A/N: I think lemon and smut is the correct term for the scene below. Warning: this is guy on guy action, if you are not interested skip to the OOOOO that ends this scene. Cheers - Syd).
Kevin grinned slightly, "You've made your point, I won't blame myself, but God seeing you all mussed up like that, I'm glad I'm bisexual, and I'm happy I have that effect on you". James fisted his hand I into the sheets, and without looking up, mumbled, "but you're in love with Emerald, I can't do this anymore", he said weakly. Kevin smiled, crawling back onto the bed, "if it was as simple as that, I would never use you in this way, or in any other way. I'm engaged to a woman I care about deeply, someone I don't want to hurt, despite her annoying tendencies of driving me up the wall. I also have begun to have feelings for a girl. A lady who hasn't reached legality, and if 'anyone' ever found out I'd be hung drawn and quartered without a fair trial. I also have recently slept with my blood cousin, because I've been having nightmares. Believe me If there was half a chance in hell I could ignore this, I would NEVER hurt you in anyway, but I NEED you, I need you, so much it hurts!"
Kevin pulled on James pants, pulling them off, he whistled low, a sound that buried a hatred of his self, deep inside his heart, and with humor evident, smirked "Commando, eh?" he chuckled devilishly as he watched James blush, his eyes closing in embarrassment as he stuttered through, "I wasn't, I didn't think, I-I, Oh God!" James bucked as he felt Kevin's tongue lick his slit, his eyes flying open, "we shouldn't, there are people here, we shouldn't, oh, oh….. oh dear God!" James moaned as he felt Kevin lick a trail and press butterfly kisses to his length before he swallowed him whole. James writhed as he finally stopped trying to cease his cousin's movements.
James mumbled weakly, incoherently as Kevin inched over his cock slowly as he released him and with his free hand grabbed James sweater fisting a hand into the woolen material. James proceeded to remove his sweater, only to have Kevin growl around his cock. "Don't even think about it. I want you a half dressed, writhing under my touch, you're my slut! Don't move", each word laced with lust as, Kevin spoke, the words, sent a dark thrill up James' spine, as he felt himself tighten, the heat coiling in his abdomen, "S-stop, I'm going to-", he begged helplessly, yelping in pain and pleasure as he felt Kevin tweak his nipple roughly through the sweater.
"Looks like I'm going to have to teach you some manners", grabbing his cousin's drawstrings, he pulled them free, and tied James' hands to bedposts. "You will come, when I say so", he ordered, going down on James again he sucked James cock, forcefully, teeth scraping along his length, the sensations were riddled dirty and messy, leaving James a quivering mass of horniness, begging Kevin, throatily, he cried out in helpless agony, every time he felt like he was about to come, Kevin ruthlessly shut it off, as he corked his leaking shaft, and simply fondled his balls, "P-Please Kevin, l-let me c-come", he groaned weakly. Kevin hissed a soft command, "Patience", he ordered as he shimmied out of his clothes, climbing over James, he let their cocks, sit against each others, James jumped as he felt Kevin's balls move onto his own, bunching his fists into the sheets that had pooled above his head, "God Kev, you feel so good", he bucked his hips again, eager to feel that delicious friction as his cousin reached over him to grab the lube.
Kevin allowed his cock to slap against James' as the doctor bucked his hips wildly trying to find some friction. "Please!" James begged piteously, "Please God- Please…don't just sit there, fuck me already. Fuck me hard!" he begged. Kevin smirked, "easy, I woke up in pain today, and I felt so helpless it hurt", while he talked he applied the lube to his fingers, and without waiting shoved them straight into his cousin's center, James bucked wildly, yelping as sweet pain enveloped him, he pushed onto those fingers, and stuttered through his speech, "This is r-really n-not the time to discuss this-s", he huffed out through a strangled sound.
"Oh but it is, you see cousin, you brought me back, with such control, it turned me on", he whispered into James' ear, and with his free hand, grabbed James' cock, using his injured palm, he rubbed his hand on the leaking cock, massaging the balls as Kevin thrust his fingers and hit James' prostrate he grinned wickedly as he felt James come violently into his hand, "and I know watching me take control over you, is what drives you over the edge", he whispered licking a trail from James' ear to his jaw, he continued as his tongue, licked James' panting lips, "I love the way with a few simple touches I can make you come undone", nibbling on James bottom lip he continued, highly aware that James was barely paying attention, as he re-palmed his cock, and allowed his fingers to stretch his cousin, hitting the exact same spot over and over again.
Kevin smirked, as he felt his cousin harden against his hand, twisting his fingers he managed to drive James' completely over the edge, without letting his brother catch any more air, he mashed their lips together, kissing him hungrily he watched James pupils dilate before they closed, feeling absolutely ruthless, Kevin forwent the need to sheathe himself, and thrust into his cousin in one single push. James' eyes flew open, in shock as he felt his cousin's member against the walls of his arse. "K-K-Kevin!" he screamed as Kevin pounded into him ruthlessly, "I love you Cousin James!" he groaned as he pounded relentlessly, James smiled through the ecstasy of feeling his brother fuck him, pounding him hard into his mattress, not entirely sure as to when or how he had been pushed onto his stomach, all he felt was delicious friction, as his brother fucked him.
Kevin groaned, and with a few quick flicks, managed to make James come again, as he felt James' abdomen muscles contract, he felt the tightening of the arse muscles clenching around his cock, and with one final shout of, "James", and he came violently, shooting cum into his brother's ass.
Kevin pulled out of his cousin and with some left over energy carefully pulled some tissues from the bedside drawer, he cleaned is cousin up, and caught his breath. "God, you felt so, so good", he whispered huskily. James mumbled incoherently and then shivered as he felt Kevin's come in his ass, turning around he pulled Kevin down, "Stop. I like it, a part of you inside me", he kissed Kevin slowly and deeply, "Oh God! You think I felt good, Kevin you put me through heaven", he cuddled into his cousin, and felt himself fall into slumber.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
James began softly, "Your friends don't blame you, they're just clumsy, they'll be okay", he mumbled quietly. Kevin turned to him, ready with a retort, only to smile softly as his cousin had fallen asleep.
Idiot. Who cares about Lanie and Javier, you need more care than anyone I know.
Kevin kissed his cousin gently on the brow, and covered him up. Deciding he needed a shower he trudged to the en-suite bathroom, and stripped free from his undershirt. Grimacing at the injury that still pulsed red, he groaned.
Great, another sponge-bath…
What did you expect? It's not like your morning activities were exactly gentle…
Shut up!
Groaning Kevin blushed red, at his own reflection and grinned at his own mussed up appearance, chuckling he sighed. It being Christmas he had to hurry and change, he was heading Home, and was planning on wishing his sister a happy Birthday and his family a happy Christmas and to meet Jenny. They'd probably meet there directly, since he hadn't really asked Javier the specifics, and really didn't want to know.
Oh well, it's still a good start to a rather bad day…
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lanie groaned as she followed Javier into the foyer of James' rather huge house, on any other day, she would have been awed at the luxurious, bordering on gaudy yet soothing furnishings. "What do you want Javier?" she groused out wearily.
May as well bite the bullet on this one…
Lanie yelped in shock as she felt herself be slammed into the wall, it was rough and yet she wasn't hurt. "Don't turn me away, don't push me out", Javier growled low, Lanie barely registered the pain hidden behind the acrid tone, Javier pushed away from Lanie, "I know! Okay, I know what I'm like, I worry too much about Kevin, and you think I'm crushing on him. In any other situation I wouldn't mind the attraction Lanie. But I love you!" he yelled half in anger and half-irritation.
Ignoring Lanie's mute shock, he continued, "My mama raised me in such a way that infidelity is just wrong. Okay. The reason I'm so frustrated with the whole situation, isn't because I'm jealous, well not completely. I love Kevin, he's my best friend, like my brother, I care about him, and having him turn to someone else only because I wasn't there for him completely, has me in pain. So, James who's probably been there for him since way before P12, it makes me jealous, and yes I am… jealous, but not for the reasons you think. I love him; I am however, not in love with him. Dammit Lanie!" groaning Javier breathed in, and paused.
Looking back at Lanie he sighed as he sat down on the steps opposite her, sighing he began to speak, only to struggle with the words, half way through his speech, cursing he hung his head helplessly… "I-I just-UGH!"
Releasing the deep breath he hadn't even realized he was holding Javier sighed. "Lemme start from the beginning okay, just give me a chance to explain things, if you don't like what I have to say, the doors right behind you, you can leave, and I'll take that as the final answer. A clean break-up, we can just go back to being professional colleagues, okay?" Javier looked up and waited a tick as he watched Lanie contemplate the choice she had been given, finally after much deliberation on her part, she nodded, much to Javier's relief. Closing his eyes, Javier stared at the floor, unconsciously reassuming his previous position.
"The night Kevin joined our patrolling squad, the first murder investigation, he was attacked by a rather deranged woman, I want to give you all the details, but I already gave him my word, to NEVER speak of this to anyone, especially you and or Beckett, mainly in all ways this was to never get back to Beckett. Ry is in every way a very egotistic person, and also never shows his weakness, in narcotics he was called 'Ice Prince', there are a total of three people who have ever seen his mask slip".
"The night he killed the woman who planned on killing both him and me, he changed, the placid mask of nonchalant indifference fell away and for the first time since I had met him, there was an underlining ruthlessness in his expression that froze my movements completely, he killed her, in the most ruthless and efficient manner on earth, it was scary. I want to say that it would be a simple thing; it was so cleanly done, that had I not been there I wouldn't have believed he was capable of such clear intent. To kill in a way that it leaves no doubt of intention", Javier shuddered once, "I was the first person to see him lose control, the second was the woman who he killed, the third was the Captain, and that too fairly recent. The last time he lost control was when he yelled at the captain, according to Kate, the look in his eyes was flat evil".
Pausing he walked into the kitchen, "You might wanna sit down, it's a bit of a long explanation", he said as he disappeared into the kitchen.
Lanie pushed herself away from the wall, and followed the sound of water flowing, she stood in the doorway, as she watched Javier drink the water, had she not being paying attention she would have completely missed the subtle tremble in Javier's wrist, gulping down the water, Javier three himself into the kitchen chair, "In my experience since working with Kevin, is he does things piece by piece, he thinks too much, and there is always an underlining sentiment in what he does. The day he killed the derange woman, let's call DW from now, the night he killed her, one clear shot to the heart, one shot and he killed, her. It's what happens after he kills, that the problem begins. Have you ever heard of a kind assassin? No right, Assassins kill, it's what they do, it's efficient and ruthless, and they go for the spots that will cause inconsiderable damage, the way of the warrior, to kill to live".
Yet they are the most dangerous of all assassins because they will always suffer from survivor's guilt, also known as PTSD. The guilt that eats at them till they're raw; the way he killed her, was simply unaware of the professional way he reduced her from a DW into a corpse, when it registered he didn't cry, so much as he simply broke down, it was like a jolt to the system, where her blood was on his hands. He killed the first person he ever loved". Javier stopped at the small gasp and watched as Lanie lowered herself into the chair.
Giving a wry grin he shrugged, "I never realized how important she was until he was jacked up on so much morphine, I got the answers out of him, she was a corrupt officer who tried to implicate him, the only way he got rid of her was to turn her in, he never got over her, so switched departments, and his defense mechanism is his 'Ice Prince' demeanor, except that night, that night was the first time I saw him turn into a Fallen Angel with broken wings turned black. He was desolate, he cried and cried".
"Jenny was there in the hospital, I never registered her as much not with the two sisters, and the cousins, and well his Irish, he has a huge family, there was so much noise I tuned half of it out, and the paperwork was horrible. Yes, I'm rambling, the bottom-line however, Lanie is that I couldn't be there for him, he saved my life, I couldn't be there for him, it was like I wasn't needed, there were already so much people, he would never need me, that was the thoughts running through my head. But you know what, the only time he stopped crying was when his mom practically shoved me into his room, her words, 'you're probably the only one he'll listen to,so make your self useful laddie'.
I was genuinely confused, wouldn't his family be the real help here, but it wasn't so, apparently he actually stopped crying after my visit, which was just filled with way too much sarcastic humor, it was a mutual agreement to never bring up the incident again.
"After that Kate formed her group, and we were signed on, she knows very little of his past, except him being an exceptional officer in Narcotics, and being a good cop in general, although Kate has never seen Kevin become the Fallen Angel, she has heard of a few rumors, that turned up, of Ry, generally being absolutely vicious when someone he likes is targeted".
Pausing Javier drank another glass of water, placing it in the sink, he placed a glass in front of Lanie, "The second thing about Ry is he never generally has ever fallen for anyone after her, so when he made the decision to marry Jenny, it came as a bit of a shock, it seems to me, that he's just getting married because he felt it was right by Jenny. He doesn't seem to really love. Sure he cares for her deeply, but he isn't in love with he, he loves her true. There just some missing flair, I'm not really good with these things, next time just pay attention to his interactions with Jenny, it's like his with an old school-friend, or a ex-girlfriend his on good terms with. Even all that may be true, it still doesn't give him the right to shack up with anyone".
"I like Jenny, to a degree, I'm not her fan, but she's a nice person. Not entirely suited for Ry, but you know if they're engaged truth, trust and love should be there, otherwise it's just an empty compromise. The reason I don't like James is because I don't like the fact that he may end up being the reason Jenny cries. She's kinda like a friend. It feels wrong, to betray her, not when she usually seems to care a lot about Ry".
Heaving a heavy sigh, Javier finally looked directly at Lanie, he ignored her contemplative look and decided to take the plunge, "the last thing I have to say is I betrayed Ry's trust when I didn't talk to him about us, and I saw how hurt he was, truth is I wasn't sure what to say to him when I wasn't entirely too sure about how I truly felt for you. I do know now, I love you Lanie Parish, so much it's kind of scary, no wait, it isterrifying. The fact is I'm not much of an affectionate guy, experience has taught me to be a bit of a closed off guy, but I do have feelings and I do care about you, I just I'm not much of an affectionate guy, if you'd give me a chance and just be a little patient with me, I won't be much of a disappointment. So well there it all is, you can decide what to do?" Javier paused, schooling his features he looked directly at her.
Lanie sighed, a lot of chaos seemed to be running through her head, she understood, mostly all of what Javier had so clumsily tried to explain. The Past experience with the DW, made a bit sense, and explained how Javier's and Kevin's bond formed. Javier's belief in fidelity was endearing, a tad confusing, since he never seemed to like Jenny at all before. And his own feelings made sense but it was all so very chaotic that she ended up with a migraine, swallowing she decided to simply voice her choice, "Javi", she began her voice cracking on the last syllable, "Look I really like you, end I understand how you feel, but the thing, is, I can't really give you an answer right now, I kind of need some space, to think things through, so if you would just give me some time, I'd appreciate it", closing her eyes, and warding her heart from the clear pain in Javi's eyes, she pushed away from the counter and turned away, sighing she walked out of the kitchen.
Javier watched her walk away, his expression crumbled in pain as he realized the answer she had just given him, closing his eyes; he barely registered the single tear that slid down his face.
Adios mi Amor….
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Alexis' eyes flew open in shock, her breathing ragged; she blinked and stared at her mother's worried face. "Oh Alexis! Thank God, I was so worried, you went to sleep on the plane, and then you didn't wake up, I've been so worried. What happened? Did you take any sleeping pills or something?" While she babbled on, she fixed out the pillows, and cleaned the room in which Alexis lay in. Alexis sat up, and stared at her surroundings, she realized she was at home, and in her bed. The clock showed her the time as noon. "Sorry", she mumbled quietly, her voice cracking, under the strain of not having it used for the better part of two days.
Meredith gasped in apology and handed Alexis a glass of water, "Drink sweetie. Do you want to tell me what you were dreaming about? Do you want to talk about it? You were thrashing about rather violently, and screaming words & phrases like, 'Help me' and 'let me go!' and 'NO!' it worried me, at the airport when I tried to wake you up, it was like someone slipped you a sleeping pill, or a drug, what with all the mischief your father has got into in the past, I had a few ripe panic attacks", her hands waving madly in the air, as she continued, completely oblivious to Alexis' shock and quiet amusement. Having never seen her mother loose her cool like that, it was relatively surprising. "Especially since you have that bandage around your neck, and what's with all the stress lines around your eyes, don't think I didn't notice them, I'm your mother, and I know what a stress line is or what it looks like", Meredith got up, and frantically began pacing the room "assuming someone was trying to hurt you. And then the doctor, at the airport said, it wasn't anything like that, and it was merely exhaustion, and you were just sleeping due to stress, please tell me you're alright!" Meredith exclaimed at the end of her monologue.
"I'm fine mom, there really is no need for you to get so worked up. It's nothing; I fell, a couple of days ago, in fencing class, and kinda got nicked on the neck. There really isn't much to say, but I've really wanted to talk to you about the 'stress lines' as you put it", swallowing the rest of the water she sighed, "I'm not entirely sure how to begin", she paused, both ladies well aware that she purposely left out the dream, from her speech, "It happened when Ashley and I broke up, Lauren and Maddy suddenly stopped talking to me, and then things have been getting, rather bad, I mean it's not like I can't handle it all, I generally just ignore it, but I guess I was stressing out, and not really realizing it", Alexis explained, softly not really reaching the exact point and at the same time explaining the situation.
Meredith sighed as she watched Alexis, well aware of the truth not completely being shared, she smiled softly as she took in Alexis' strained posture, as if she was curling up into herself, and simply defending her heart against some kind of unseen pain, "Okay. I guess I can understand that, I'm sorry if I went all out there, and went crazy on you". Biting her lower lip, she mentally groaned.
It's not like I'm good at this…
A fact I really can't argue with…
Meredith inwardly growled, she rarely if ever lost her composure, the only people who had ever seen her, go all out crazy would have to have been just Rick and now Alexis, "I'm sorry, I haven't really been much of a mother to you, Lexi", she mumbled somewhat guiltily.
Alexis looked up in shock, her mother never used the nickname Lexi, unless she felt any or absolutely guilty, Alexis hadn't heard herself been called that nickname in a decade. Whipping her head around she stared at her mother, only to notice Meredith had walked to the window seat and was staring out the window only just realizing her mother was wearing a white spaghetti strapped sundress, that was black around the bust area, and was flowing to her knees in dripping black ink, the edges of the hemline were sprinkled with small yellow daisies. Her mother looked beautiful, as the sunlight fell on her mother's soft red curls, (A/N: Thank You Castlelover100 for that tiny detail) her shoes were practical, in fact not even practical she was wearing simple black slippers, "Mom", she began not sure how to even continue the sentence. "You haven't been a bad mother, never think that!" Alexis exclaimed half ready to jump out of bed, only to collapse back into bed, dizzy she looked up at her mother, "What the-?"
Meredith chuckled bitterly, "don't expect much movement… you've been unconscious for Six hours", she explained softly, despite the tinge of self-loathing in her voice. "S-six hours?" Alexis gasped, "That's not possible", she whimpered. Meredith smirked, "why not?" she asked, "don't worry it being Christmas Afternoon you haven't missed anything", sitting on the window seat, "Why shouldn't I think I'm not a bad mother?" she asked rhetorically, as she stared at the sun. "M-mom, you're the best parent, best mother a girl could ever ask for, I love you!"
Alexis tried to assure her mother. Meredith smiled softly, "I love you to Lexi, but sometimes, I wish I could be more useful to you, I mean you've being going through the whole mad-urine thing on your own and I wasn't even there, and I g—", Meredith paused as Alexis interrupted her, "Never-mind all that! You've been there for me plenty of times, even when you weren't physically there, so no worries", she waved a hand in a shooing motion as if to explain, she really didn't think it was all that important, she seemed confused slightly, "What do you mean by mad-urine, maybe I heard incorrectly?" she asked completely perplexed.
Meredith laughed, giggling helplessly she muttered, "Sorry, shoulda explained that one, 'Mad-urine' is Maddison and Lauren", she giggled helplessly. Alexis snorted, "Honestly mom! That's so childish", she scolded the effect lost, as she burst into a small fit of giggles. Meredith guffawed, "can you blame me?" she asked, not really expecting much of a response. Alexis sniggered, "Not really, but mad-urine? How'd you even come up with that?" she asked. Meredith smirked, a smirk slightly evil, and looked oddly perfect on her mother's face. "It must be the cheerleader in me", she sniggered, the two dissolved into helpless laughter.
Thirty minutes later after many jokes, and variations on the name Mad-Urine, Alexis finally stopped giggling, sobering Meredith took in the slightly lost gaze on her daughter's face, "What's wrong?" she asked quietly. Alexis looked up, "Not sure, the dream I had… I don't remember it, I just can remember this cold feeling I had, like I was locked in some sort of storage unit, or a freezer, somewhere cold, and I could feel this odd thing, slipping around me, and a feeling of not being alone, someone was there, someone who could hurt me", she shuddered.
Meredith walked over to her an enveloping her in a hug, whispered softly, "I can't really say I understand, but you've always had the oddest gift when it came to dreams, like you could feel someone else's pain. A form of Parapsychology, like you could feel a dream from someone else's point of view, which after much sessions with a Psychologist we began to understand, and if it makes sense not quite grasp. Thing is Alexis, this hasn't happened to you in over a decade, the last time it happened was when you were three, you woke up screaming, in the night, muttering 'daddy', 'daddy hurt' over and over again. At that time, your dad, was in a small accident where he got hurt pretty badly, you kept grasping your head, and well it scared me and Martha witless, especially as Rick walked into the room, with a bandage wrapped firmly around his forehead, I remember this because you stopped crying as soon as he picked you up, and kissed your forehead. It was sweet, and one of the happier memories I have of your dad and you".
Alexis looked at her mom in shock, "So it stopped, only when daddy picked me up?" she asked, a hundred questions forming in her mind, as she grasped the situation, a few answers rearing themselves in her mind. "Is it as though only the person who I dreamt about could stop me from feeling the pain?" she asked. Meredith smiled, somewhat proud, "Always thinking two steps ahead, eh?" shaking her head she stopped to re-collect her thoughts, "Come to think of it, Dr. Sandford said the same thing, well not completely the same thing. He mentioned, that if you were somehow directly linked to the person getting hurt, or in some way linked to the situation which caused the 'victim' pain, you would feel the discomfort that person felt", Meredith shook her head as she tried to remember what else the doctor had said then, "Oh! He also mentioned, that if you're close to the person, who is directly linked to the problem or situation then you would feel the discomfort."
Shaking her head Meredith took in Alexis' expression, as if she had realized something. A thing, Meredith was most definitely not happy to see in her daughter's eyes. Getting up, she walked to Alexis' closet. "Enough about all this hocus-pocus its kinda giving me the chills. Its Christmas, so stop with all this dreary talk, it was probably just a simple nightmare, about something stupid. Ignore it, and get ready, we have shopping!" Meredith pulled out a simple white sundress, and hung it over the chair, "Hurry, hurry", she chirruped cheerfully, completely ignoring Alexis' wrought expression, and raised eyebrow. Pulling her daughter out of bed, and shoving her into the bathroom, "In you go. No more thinking. You have thirty minutes, for a quick shower and to get ready. Mom's got something special planned", she sang happily.
Alexis barely managed to right herself, before her mother waltzed out of the room, singing gaily. Alexis sniggered, "that wasn't subtle at all, mom!" she called to her retreating figure, and turned to face an empty room and walked to the shower, still laughing at her mother's antics, the dream slipping away into her sub consciousness, and turning the dial for the shower she sang a tune, completely unaware to it being the same Irish tune, Kevin whistled to.
Meredith slipped out of the room, and walked down the stairs as, she turned to face the drawing room, she sighed, walking to the bar, she grabbed the bottle of Irish whiskey and stepped onto the patio, of her summer house, she hugged the whiskey bottle and unscrewing it took a huge gulp, before she lowered it and groaned, "There is definitely something wrong about that dream she saw. Should I talk to Rick about it or not?" she wondered aloud, clearly unaware of the tall brunette walking towards her, sighing she took another sip, and slid into the couch that sat beneath her shade, and mumbled mostly to herself, cursing about nonsensical things and Rick in general.
Meredith almost jumped out of her skin, when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, turning she swung the bottle around, yelping she rested her eyes on a figure laughing at her expression and her panic-stricken look. "Relax! It's just me. You're pretty skittish this morning", eyeing the whisky bottle the mysterious figure smirked, whistling low continued, "Aint it a bit early for a little 'Red Breast'?" the figure asked,
Meredith groaned, huffing she slipped back into her seat, and scowled, "What are you doing here, Aiden?" she asked as her heart settled down somewhat, she ignored the extra pounding as she took in Aiden's look, "what are you so dressed up for anyway?" she asked grumpily. Aiden grinned as he looked down at himself, "Why don't I look good?" he asked. Meredith rolled her eyes, "You look good", she mumbled quietly. Aiden laughed, "Ha-ha! Tell me how you really feel", he sniggered at her somewhat sarcastic tone.
Meredith ignored him, and took another sip, "Oi, enough of that!" Aiden said as he grabbed the bottle from her, "I'll go put this away, what are you, trying to do, drown your liver this early in the day?" he scolded angrily. "Hey! Leave my alcohol alone", Meredith mumbled weakly, not even completely fighting him away. Aiden raised his eyebrow, "What's this? Man, you're really depressed. Hang on, I'll go make some coffee, then you and I can talk about whatever's eating you". Meredith stuck her tongue out, "Bleh!" she said turning away from him. Aiden rolled his eyes, "Yeah Yeah, I got it you wanna sulk on your own, I'll get that coffee."
Meredith watched him surreptitiously as he walked away, "Bloody Idiot!" she glared at his retreating back, and then smiled softly at him, "Why'd I have to go and fall in love with an idiot like him anyway?" she asked the empty patio. Getting up, Meredith walked to the pool a little way away, slipping her feet into the somewhat cooler water she tipped her head back, and enjoyed the cool breeze and warm rays of sunshine that danced across her face, she hummed a soft song and smiled absentmindedly, all thoughts escaping as she sat enjoying the noon air.
Alexis ran down the stairs, dressed in a strapless sundress that was completely white except for the soft strokes of red roses dancing on the hem's edges, she had slipped on a pair, of simple stiletto red heels, and had draped her red shawl around her neck, she blinked and paused in the middle of the stairs, as she saw a tall black haired man, walk into the room carrying a bottle of something, he walked to the bar, and placed it there, and then whistling a tune, she faintly recognized he walked to the area where the kitchen was. Alexis took in his appearance and grinned.
Oh ho! Mom's been keeping busy…
Her eyes followed the man, and she took in his appearance, even from a distance he was good looking, dressed in pretty simple clothes. He wore a white button down, over a pair of dark blue jeans, his hair was rather curly and shaggy, but weren't long, they curled around the name of his neck, somewhat disappearing into the collar of his shirt. He had on a blue tie, which was loosened at his throat, and from where she was standing she saw his face was pale. He was wearing black work shoes, she couldn't garner what his eye color was, and as the light reflected off of the spectacles he wore.
Simple, must be the theme for today...
Laughing mostly to herself, Alexis crept down the stairs, and walked to the kitchen, sneaking in she stood framed in the doorway, as the man, continued working in the kitchen, he seemed well aware of where everything was placed, Alexis leaned against the door and smiled.
Never mind good looking, this guy is scrumptious!
Well Done, Mother!
Sniggering inwardly, she crept to the Island in the middle of the kitchen, a feat she considered quite an accomplishment, considering the heels she was wearing, the man had not yet noticed her presence, and as soon as he placed the jug of milk back on the counter, Alexis spoke up, "Ne, can I have some of that as well?" she asked, as she received a whiff of good old coffee.
The man spun around in shock, he had removed his glasses somewhere in between the walk from the living room into the kitchen, his hazel eyes widened in shock and some recognition. Alexis grinned, unaware her smirk, would easily have been categorized as pure evil. "Hello Stranger! In normal cases, I'd probably have kicked the air out of your lungs, but seeing as you're pretty comfortable in my mother'skitchen, I'm going to ignore you intruder, and assume you're good friends with the lady of this house. I however was not lying when I said I want some of that", she indicated the bubbling coffee, and smirked, "Do be a good Man, and bring that to where my mother and I will be waiting. Ta-Ta", she scoffed in an arrogant tone and whirled around leaving a gob-smacked man standing behind her.
Walking out of the kitchen, Alexis sniggered, sliding down the door, she burst out laughing, five minutes later she felt a tapping on her arm, looking up she wasn't surprised to find the same man, smirking at her, "That was good, very effective", his voice was low and deep. Alexis sniggered, "Kinda lost effect what with all the laughing", she said between her giggles. "Alexis Castle, pleasure to make your acquaintance", she said giving him her hand. The man grabbed it gently and placed a quick soft kiss on her knuckles, "Aiden Q. Smith" Alexis smirked, at the gesture and smiled, "Any relation to the rugby player?" she asked. Aiden smirked, "Nope, except the spelling, I don't know him", he remarked. "What's 'Q' stand for, Quinn?" she asked, unconsciously guessing correctly as Aiden's brow lifted in surprise. "Holy Kripkes! Talk about weird, so any relation to the actor?" she asked, smiling wickedly. Aiden laughed, as he helped her up, "Sorry, this time the spelling is different", he said as way of an answer. Alexis laughed. They walked back into the kitchen, discussing rugby and actors, and worked around each other preparing the coffee, Alexis laughed as she prepared her coffee. Smiling absentmindedly, she thought of Kevin.
Aiden looked over at her, the sudden silence alarmed him, surprise flitted across his features as he watched her, and she was smiling softly, a smile he had only ever seen on his mother's face. A smile of mystical love, and stolen promises, he smiled in realization. Oblivious to Aiden's thoughts, Alexis mused absentmindedly of fateful reminiscences, a strong thought flitting in her mind.
I miss him…
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Javier looked up as Kevin flopped into the seat adjacent to him, "So, she left, eh?" he asked somewhat awkwardly. Javier smirked, "Leave it bro, want a cuppa coffee?" he asked instead. Kevin looked at him and shrugged, "Wouldn't mind one", he mumbled weakly, his shoulder had begun to ache, he pulled some paracetemol from the medicine box, and mumbled about nothing in particular, Javier turned around, "Still hurts?" he asked warily. Kevin shook his head, "Not really hurts, more like this uncomfortable twinge that spikes up at odd intervals", he mumbled around the bandage around his mouth as he reapplied the one on his hand. Javier rolled his eyes, "Here, Lemme", he pulled the saliva covered piece out of his mouth and grimaced, "Gross bro", and he grinned weakly. Kevin poked his tongue out, "Shut up", he mumbled in embarrassment.
Javier started talking, "So it seems Lanie and I broke up", he said softly, Kevin grimaced, "M sorry bro", he said, not entirely sure how to carry on the conversation. Javier huffed, "my own fault apparently, I really was worried about you, and with your bisexual tendencies waking up all of a sudden, I guess she got the wrong idea", he scowled somewhat bitterly. Kevin looked away, "Sorry", he said guiltily. Javier looked up in shock, "Oi! I'm not blaming you. Dude don't even go there, I'm just a little stressed out, and this case isn't exactly easy to handle, oh by the way we figured out who killed the swimmer", he answered completely changing the subject with tone of finality.
Kevin shrugged helplessly, ignoring Javier's glare he tried to explain something when he saw Lanie enter the kitchen, oblivious, Javier continued, "Besides, you shouldn't even have to worry, I'm guessing you got enough on your plate as it. I fell in love with Lanie, that's my headache, I'll handle it, but Bro, its Christmas, do me a favor and try not to get anymore cuts, or bruises, cause if you do, I'm gonna kill you, okay!" he warned jokingly. Kevin nodded once, "I promise", he said, his eyes not leaving Lanie's. Javier tied the bandage and knotted it, "Okay now, listen up, I'm gonna head to the station, since I'm not getting home today, I'll bug Kate out some more, and we'll try and figure out who the psycho is. Are you gonna head home?" he asked still unaware of Lanie standing behind him.
Kevin shook his head, "James and I will be heading in together, he's sleeping for now. He sat up most of the night filling out reports, so he's pretty out of it, man!" Kevin answered. Javier scowled but, whatever Javier was gonna say, was drowned out as Lanie spoke up, "Javier", Esposito turned around in shock, "May I have a word?" she asked. Javier nodded dumbly as Lanie walked out of the room. Javier turned to Kevin and in near panic, almost yelled, "What the- what am I gonna do, I was prepared for the whole break up thing, now she wants to talk, what do I say, what should I do? I don't understand", his voice broke on a whisper cracking with the strain. Kevin rolled his eyes, and slapped Javier, "First of all, calm down! What are you thirteen? Jeez Louise, man-up, she only wants to talk, she isn't gonna shoot you", he shook his head. Javier groaned, "I'd take a bullet any day", he mumbled. Kevin rolled his eyes, "No, the only person I know would be Kate, who'd take a bullet before she told Rick she loved him. So, quit PMS-ing and go talk to her!" he ordered practically shoving the Spanish detective out the door.
Kevin smirked, at Javier's expression, knowing everything was going to be alright he went back to his room to pack some things. Javier scowled, "Idiot", he mumbled, squarely his shoulders he walked into the living room, he breathed in deeply and faced Lanie, but before he could get two words through, he stumbled in surprise as she jumped into his arms, speaking a mile a minute "I'm an idiot! A real moron, I apologize, I don't know what I was thinking, I'm so stupid, I really love you too, I can't even begin to think of anyone else but you", her arms tightened around him possessively.
"I want to believe I'm the only one there is for you, and the thought of anyone else being your girlfriend, pisses me off. I got so angry just thinking of some other prissy female hanging off of your arm, that I turned around and came back, hurtling through traffic, like a woman possessed. I came back thirty minutes ago, and like a coward stayed in the van, for a twenty minutes contemplating what I should say, and not to say, when I gathered enough courage to at least get out of the car, I then heard you talking to Kevin, and I couldn't stand the thought of you being all professional with me. It hurt, so much just thinking about you being cold towards me. Please Javi, you have to forgive me, I was an idiot. I love you, I love you, I love you. Please, please give me a second chance. I was so selfish, I won't be an idiot anymore, please say you forgive me, Please!" she begged over and over again.
Blinking rapidly, Javier pushed her away, and simply stared at her, she had been crying he could see that, her eyes though still damp were not overflowing with tears, however still held a helplessness, he was never familiar with before, he wanted to gather her up in his arms, but he could barely move. Shaking his head, he let out a single question that was filled with so much pain, had he been a bat, he probably would have heard the crack in Lanie's heart. "You didn't trust me the first time, why should I believe in you this time?" he asked, not completely aware of the need to know the answer, as much as the need to comfort her. Lanie sobbed, "I don't have any particular reasons that can prove my loyalty to you, or the trust I could show you, but I swear to you, I feel like an angel with broken wings, torn apart by my own ruthless stupidity but I love you, and I will show you in every way I can, that I will Never stray away from you again. I know that answer is probably not the one you're looking for, but if there is any way I could explain, that the very thought of not having you in my life, as even a friend, hurts beyond contemplation. I will never hurt you again, I promise", she spoke softly, sniffling quietly as her head hung low.
Javier walked towards her and with one hand he lifted her chin up and mumbled softly, "Mi bella mujer, mi amante, tu eres mi mundo", he whispered as he gently wiped away her tears. Lanie blinked in confusion. But before she could question what he had just said, he bent his head and kissed her sweetly. The only thoughts running through her head were.
Holy Bloody Hell!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(A/N: I think lemon and smut is the correct term for the scene below. Warning: this is guy on guy action, if you are not interested skip to the OOOOO that ends this scene. Cheers - Syd).
Kevin watched from the doorway, and almost jumped out of his skin when James, bent down and whispered, "Eavesdropping little cousin, is a bad habit you know". Kevin shivered as James licked his earlobe. Moaning he pushed James into his room, "Shut up", he groaned out, "God I need you", he gasped, as James put his hand over Kevin's crotch and rubbed his shaft through the jeans, he locked the door behind him and kissed his cousin messily, "you're a bloody tease you know that!" he groaned out.
James chuckled, "hmm… but I haven't even done anything yet..." Kevin groaned at the hidden promise and mumbled, "We really shouldn't be talking right now", he groused as he pulled his cousin's boxers down, and without much preparation, or stripping simply, shoved his cock straight into his cousin's arse, while slamming James against the door. James bit his lip, and moaned low, through his panting he said, "Jesus! You're sti-ll dres-se-d, tha-t's prett-y kin-ky", he pant-ed as Kevin fucked him harshly. Kevin grinned, "It is pretty sexy seeing you completely naked while I take you roughly, against this door".
James grinned as he bit down on Kevin's pulse point, Kevin whimpered with need, getting rougher with his movements, they stumbled towards the door and without much understanding moved against the wall and to the bed, Kevin half-fucked, half-carried his cousin to the bed. James assumed the doggy-position, and begged through his teeth, "Harder! Faster! Please". Kevin swallowed hoarsely buried balls deep in his cousin's ass, and without preamble fucked the doctor harder, "Jesus! Sweet Mother Mary, you feel great!" he thrust faster and faster, angling his hips he thrust once. James screamed as he hit his prostrate, "Gods Yes! There, right there, oh God yes, harder", James begged as Kevin thrust his cock hitting his prostrate again and again. Kevin reached forward and pulled James cock, and messily gave him a hand-job, he could feel James' ready to come as his stomach muscles contracted, and with one final thrust James came violently, Kevin's name on his lips, the pressure pushing Kevin over the edge as well, and he too came with a violent jerk. It took a minute, but after pulling out of James, Kevin collapsed onto the bed, James barely shifted as Kevin pulled the blanket over them, and clutching his cousin, fell asleep with exhaustion.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Javier pulled away and smiled at Lanie, "I love you", he simply said. Lanie allowed a single tear to fall, and asked, "Does this mean you forgive me?" she asked. Javier nodded, "Always mi amor", he whispered. Lanie smiled happily, "Thank you. I promise I won't go crazy anymore. We'll solve this stupid case, and Kevin will be okay. I'll be patient I promise".
Javier smiled and hugged her closer. Shrugging inwardly he sighed. I wonder if that's Emerald's job.
Probably would be best if we avoided that question altogether, eh?
The truth is the very name makes him Happy, he loves her… she may only be the one to 'Sanar sus alas rotas'
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Translation:
Mi bella mujer, mi amante, tu eres mi mundo =
"My beautiful woman, my lover, you are my love my world"
"Sanar sus alas rotas"=
"Heal his Broken Wings"