You stare at the road ahead of you and try ignore the noises coming from the back seat. DAMNIT! WHY DID YOU AGREE TO COME? You quietly rage at yourself as you glance at the heavily flushed face of Tavros in the rearview mirror. Unable to take it anymore you just turn up the radio and sing to stupid love songs with Nepeta,while your moirail and ex-lover pleased his new-found boy toy not even four feet from you. THIS WAS SO RIDICULOUSLY STUPID! HERE YOU WERE WORRIED OUT OF YOUR MIND OVER THAT MAKEUP WEARING FREAK WHEN ALL HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT WAS SUCKING FACE WITH SOME KID AT A PLAYGROUND. You thought trying so hard to hold on to your anger, your shield, failing hopelessly, it hurt and no one seemed to care or noticed. You hit a sour note, while trying to hold back all the conflicting emotions inside you. Nep gave you a funny look, having taking choir with you she knew you could not only project your voice (anyone who's heard your rants knew this.) but, was also very well aware that you never miss a note, not evening while singing to stupid pop songs you hated. You try to keep your usual scowl of annoyance and turn to her and felt tears well up in your freaky red eyes. DAMNIT... You thought as she raised her gaze to the mirror and blush at the sight, giving you a look of pity afterwards. That hurt that really fucking hurt. Like having some stupid rapid meow-beast shoved inside your chest. You didn't need or want pity, you wanted to talk to someone, anyone would do but... You glance at the mirror again to find the two back there had settled down...Who you really wanted to talk to was Gamzee. Just to tell him that yes you loved him, not they he had(or does?) loved you but, you two were brothers! Nothing could change that. To tell him how you kept every single scrap of paper he ever scribbled your likeness on, how no matter what happened you needed him in your life and you'd always be there when he had nightmares and most importantly how you felt on that rainy Apirl night and... How you couldn't find it yourself to be angery or regret your descion. GAMZEE...You thought as the tears rolled down your face. You kept singing the stupid Adel song as Nepeta wrapped her arm around you singing and wiping away your tears. Thankfully you manage to get a grip on yourself as Equius pulled up to a Taco Bell and started asking what everyone wanted. You didn't really want anything but, Nep insisted that you get a drink, saying quietly that it will help calm you down. Taking the odd fruity drink and scribbling a note on the back of the receipt, looking at the sleeping pair behind you. Gamzee was smilingly a sweet simple smile you've never seen before while he rested his head on the still tan boy under him. Tavros's face looked- stronger, more mature without the shy nervous smile playing across his face. By the time you had scribbled the last line of your note Equius had pulled up to Gamzee's apartment and lifting a still sleeping Tavros from the back seat and carrying him inside. Leaning over you help him with the taller and lankier teen, slipping the note into his baggy hoodie pocket as you laid him next to the shy teen on the bed. Kissing the near makeup free forehead of your moirail just like you did when you were younger.
"I love you, Gamzee. Please don't you ever forget that."