This is my 3rd favorite character. You might be able to tell by how freakn' awesome I write him to be . . .

BTW, Lord Ignus had left a review earlier that had listed all the powers revealed so far, so I thought I'd do the same. I'll do it once more when we find out what the last few powers are. So if this is the first chapter you're reading, two things. One, you will get spoilers. Two, what is wrong with you? O_o

Stan: Technopath
Kyle: Psychic
Wendy: Sonic Manipulation
Butters: Kinetic Energy Manipulation (manifest in the form of explosions)
Tweek: Super Speed
Clyde: Skinwalker (shifts into a mosquitoish human or a swarm of regular sized mosquitoes; so far can't turn off human mosquito form)
Token: Super Strength
Ike: Electromagnetism/Electricity
Bebe: Shapeshifter
Cartman: N/A (to his increasing annoyance)
Kenny: N/A (no, his immortality is something completely different lol)
Craig: N/A (and he'd kinda prefer to stay that way to be honest)
Dougie: N/A (lol like I'd give his boss powers and not him)

Trent: Fire
Queen B: Power Jammer
Icicle: Ice/Cold
Ninja: Teleportation
Checkmate: ?

Chapter 11: Face Off

Journal:

This is retarded, I'm not doing it, f%#$ you Cartman.

In front of me, there looked to be a group of about a dozen girls, all with varying levels of surprise etched on their faces. Some were starting to look angry. I bet none of them were as p*$$ed off as I was though. This was a grand waste of my time, and for what? So I could bail out my clueless friend from a bunch of Charlie's Angels wannabes? G&$d%$$it.

"Craig!" I heard Tweek yelp beside me. "GAH - what are you doing here?"

Seriously?

I looked at him. "What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Dumb#$$, why haven't you run away yet?"

"That would be my doing," a feminine voice said. I looked up to see one of the b*%$&^$ step forwards, one with a black and yellow theme to her look. "My name is Queen B, and this is my-"

"Don't know, don't care," I said, and swung my sword. I was mildly surprised when she actually dodged the blow and back-flipped out of the way. D*%& it, some had skills. I was really hoping this would be fast, Breaking Bad was starting.

"Got a live one here," a girl with short strawberry blonde hair said, grinning. She punched her fist into her hand. "Want me to take this one?"
"No," a white haired girl said, standing up. "This one is mine." Oh, the ice girl I'd knocked over. Fine then, whatever.

I spun around, whipping my sword through the air, and sliced the ropes that were tying Tweek's hands together. The p&$$% gave a startled yelp and jumped back. "J&$%$ Craig, GAH, warn me next time!"

"Just get the h&$$ out of here, I'll distract Albino here."

"No! She's scary, man! She'll kill you! And besides, I can't run!"

"Indeed he can't," the girl called Queen B said, smirking. "See, my own power enables me-"

"Still don't care!" I snapped, lunging forwards. The albino girl waved her hand in surprise, forming an icicle spear. It didn't last long; my first swing sliced it in half, and my next landed the hilt of my sword in her stomach. She staggered back, doubled over and coughing.

"-to block the powers of others. So he cannot run, and now you cannot use your powers!" Queen B finished yelling.

"Might be a problem . . . if I had any," I muttered. I glanced back to see Tweek still standing there. Oh for . . . "Tweek, I said RUN!" I said.

"But I can't-"

"To h$%% with super speed, just plain run, you retard!"

He gave another yelp and started to run, but by now other girls were moving in. The girl with short strawberry hair was already in his way. I sighed heavily and swung my sword, slicing in half a large icicle that was thrown at me. Looks like we'd have to fight our way out then. Fine, may as well get it over with.

I leapt to the side and promptly knocked out two girls flanking Tweek with the flat of my blade. Dodging another shot of ice from the albino, I leaped over another girl and smacked the strawberry blond on the head with my hilt. Before she could even react, I flipped over her to block yet another shot from the albino.

Strawberry started cursing a slew of morse code, but didn't go down. Tough one, d*$% it.

"Oh would someone just stop that punk?" Queen B said, looking really irritated. "He doesn't have powers, how hard can it be?"

"Doesn't have powers, but the b*#$%^$& has skills, d%##it," Strawberry growled.

"Yeah, where did you - GAH - learn to do that, Craig?"

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, like I'm gonna have a real samurai katana in my house and not learn to use it. Now shut up and help if you're not going to run!"

The girls were now surrounding us. I was starting to wonder if maybe I had gotten myself in over my head. So far only one girl was using her powers on us, two if you counted Queen B. But who knows what some of the other girls were capable of.

As I was thinking it, a girl with bright red hair came and stood next to the albino. "Perhaps you need some backup, Icicle?" she asked, smirking.

Icicle, or whatever, scowled. "I don't need any help, Caldera. Go-"

What exactly Caldera was supposed to do was interrupted however by my Kawasaki Ninja bike. To my utter shock, it suddenly roared to life and slammed right into the two of them, knocking them over. It then zoomed around the girls, making them jump for cover, and finally stopped further up the road.

Standing there was Stan, hand up and irises in his eyes glowing blue. It might have been impressive had he not just taken over my motorcycle.

"STAN you b$%^&%$#!" I yelled. "Hands off my Ninja!"

"Was the biggest electronic thing around, and serves you right for running ahead," he said, looking annoyed. "Besides, my hands are off the bike, dumba%%." Sure enough, he instead had one hand on a power drill, and the other held up with blue lines jagging over it, controlling my motorcycle. From several feet away. I really hated him. The last thing I wanted was to be flashily bailed out by the very person everyone kept comparing me to, and with my own bike at that.

"Bite me if I didn't want to stand back debating over how to make our 'cool entrance'," I said, irritated.

Around him, the rest of the gang was forming. Cartman, shooting a withering look at Stan, probably for making the grand reveal without him, managed to shove himself to the front. "All right, girls!" he announced. "Let them go, or face the wrath of Coon and Friends!"

"The Extreme Avenger League!" Token said, glaring at him.

"Oh now what . . ." Queen B growled.

"Ooo, they brought friends!" Strawberry said. "Sweet, this might actually be worth my evening!"

I opened my mouth to shoot something withering back at my useless classmates, but Icicle had suddenly lunged at me. I slashed in half the frozen sword she swung, but it reformed almost instantly and slashed my arm. Oh for - not again.

I paused, glancing at the gash on my arm. That was exactly where I had been hit by that gunlady earlier in our scuffle when I'd spied her in the woods. But why did I only have one cut?

I got slashed on the other arm. "G%$&^##it," I growled, pulling up my sword. The albino was coming at me hard now, swinging her own sword rapid fast. I matched her pace, but it was really annoying when she could manipulate her blade. Every time I sliced it, she would reform it almost instantaneously, and by then it would be beyond my guard. I got another deep gash when it froze up again directly into my shoulder. Swearing (or beeping, d&%$ bracelet), I landed a shot of my own while she was pulling her blade away. I slashed her diagnally across the stomach.

"Whoa!" I heard Ike, Kyle's annoying little brother, yell. "Kyle, your friend is totally gonna kill her!"

Eh, if that was what it took to get her off my back. But I saw her smile. Her sword collapsed into water, and instead she herself began to freeze over. Ice crept all around her, encasing her in a crystalline structure.

I don't know what she was doing, but I sure wasn't gonna stand there like an idiot and let her do it. I lunged forwards, sword point first.

The redhead stepped in the way.

I felt a blast of heat, and immediately leaped back. None too soon either. I had nearly run right into a furnace! The redhead had completely changed. Her skin had gone all black and glowing red. Her eyes were like deep fire. What looked like molten lava began to drip from her fingers. I could just feel the heat coming off of her.

"Hey cut that out," I heard Icicle say. "Take that heat somewhere else, its messing with my regen."

Smirking, the lava girl (Caldera, I think someone had called her) stepped closer to me, forcing me back. She was still eying me carefully. I frowned back; this one was going to be a problem. I sure couldn't get close to her, and thinking back, I wasn't sure anyone else in my group could also.

My mistake.

Caldera was sent flying by an explosion. With a yelp, she hit the ground rolling, leaving a trail of red hot gravel and dirt on the road. She scrambled back to her feet and faced her attacker.

Butters . . . f&$%ing Butters of all people, stood across from her, with that geeky sidekick of his. Butters had attached some weird dart launchers to his wrists and was pointing them at the lava girl. He was biting his lip nervously, but was standing his ground. "Hey fellas," he said, voice shaking a little, "I-I think I'd better . . . better take this one." He fired another dart, and it exploded upon impact at Caldera's feet, making her jump back again.

"Uh . . . sure Butters, good luck," Stan said, hesitantly. He and the others turned to face the rest of the girl gang.

"I'd like to see how well you all fight without your powers," Queen B said. "After all, I, Queen B, can-"

She was cut off by being slammed into by Cartman, and hit the ground practically screaming in frustration. I raised an eyebrow; there was a reason Cartman was regarded as the best linebacker on the football team; he was like a fast moving wall.

"Lets see how many you can block when you're busy, Queenie," Cartman said with a smirk. "Oh, I'm sorry; what were you saying? The Coon is awesome? Why, pleased to meet you too!"

Queen B growled, pulling out two long whips that had been wrapped around her waist. She gave them a crack. "OK tough guy, lets dance."

Cartman flashed his coon claws. "You seem upset; I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

She let out a shriek and charged.

I turned my attention from them to glance around. All around me the guys were taking on girls. Well, girl on girl, in the case of Wendy and some brunette with wind powers. Tweek was facing off nervously with Strawberry, who looked like a cat playing with her prey. Butters and Caldera were throwing lava and bombs at each other, both looking a little nervously over at the woods nearby and trying to avoid catching anything on fire. Stan and Kyle were getting martial arts on some other girls' butts; about time they found an outlet for those karate classes. Everyone else had found someone to fight also. Except Clyde, who couldn't seem to get any girl to take him and his gay fairy wings seriously enough for a scuffle. He finally threw his hands up in resignation and moved to help Tweek.

I glanced back towards my opponent and got a surprise. She had completely iced over. No, not iced over. She had turned into ice. Transparent and everything. It was . . . a little weird.

I sighed. G&$%#&&it, I was never going to have a nice normal life, was I?

She smirked at me. "Good bye," she said.

I frowned. What was that supposed to-

I heard a weird zap sound. Sharp searing pain shot through my side. Holy s&$% it hurt! I jumped to the side, biting my lip to keep from yelling. I could feel a warmness running down my side. When I put my hand there it came away red. What the . . .

I looked behind where I was standing. There was that black ninja girl from earlier, the gunlady. She had a knife in her hands and the blade was red. Hey . . . did she stab me? She totally snuck up behind and shanked me, that f%$^ing b*&$#!

Between the stab and the three slashes, I was getting really p*$$ed off now. But I was also slowing down. Augh this was ridiculous! All I wanted to do was get home quickly to watch TV, was that too much to ask? Why did life in South Park always have to be so d&%^ annoying?

The ninja lady took a step forwards. To the side, I saw Icicle form her whole arm into a blade and also moved forwards.

OK I admit it; maybe I was in trouble.

A shadowy figure moved, and then the ninja was gone. I blinked. What had just happened?

I looked around and located the fight. The ninja girl was tangling with a figure in purple. After a few exchanges of knives and punches, they leaped apart.

I recognized the costume of the second figure. Oh you have got to be kidding me.

He wore a dark purple cape with a hood and a light purple leotard. A black mask obstructed most of his face, and a green question mark hung on the hood. I could even make out a wisp of golden hair.

So that is what Kenny had in his backpack. For the love of g&% . . .

"AY KEYNNEY!" I heard Cartman yell. "No fair getting in costume when the rest of us don't even have one!"

"Shut up, fata$$!" Kenny yelled. "I'm not Kenny, I'm Mysterion! I've always been Mysterion! G&$!" He blocked a few punches from the ninja girl and jumped back. "What do you think I've been doing at night for the past six years?"

"Getting high and laid?" Clyde said.

"No!" Kenny yelled, although I thought I caught a wistful look in his eye. "I've been fighting the criminal element! And you're all blowing my secret identity!"

"Pffft," the ninja girl said, waving her hand. "We know who you all are anyways."

Kenny paused. "You do?"

"Of course," Queen B said, cracking a whip at Cartman. "We got it all from Checkmate, after all."

Kenny rounded on her. "Checkmate? You're in league with him?"

"Sure his goons helped us out at the bank."

Cartman raised his arm and let her whip wrap around it. He then gripped it and pulled back, which caused Queen B to stumble towards him. He caught her neck in his hand. "OK b*%$^," he said, smirking. "Spill the beans. If Checkmate knows who we are, I want to know who he is."

Queen B just smiled. "Why don't you ask Mysterion? I bet he's figured it out already." She gave her whip a flick and electricity surged down its length. Cartman let out a yell and released his grip. She then reached up, grabbed his head and pulled him into a kiss.

Ew, what? What girl would willingly kiss Cartmanof all people?

"Wow, she's brave," I heard Butters say nervously.

The reason became clear though as Cartman seemed to seize up and collapse on the floor. "Augh!" he gasped. "You Queen B*%$&, what . . .

"Poison lipstick," she said, tapping her lips. "Something of my own design. My powers aren't very offense based, so I find other ways to take down opponents."

Cartman began muttering a slew of beeps.

I would have taken the time to find this extremely funny, except I was rather busy while all this was going on. Ice lady had attacked me again, and it was all I could do to keep her from slicing me in half. For some reason she was a lot faster in this form. I could also sense however that she was tiring faster, so if I could just hold out for a little longer . . .

I stumbled, only managing to stay on my own feet because I used my sword for support. D&$$it, I wasn't going to last much longer either. This was supposed to be a fast fight! What was these girls' problem anyways?

"Stan, Craig's in trouble!" I heard Kyle yell. G*$d&%%it, I didn't need help, I could handle this.

It seemed though that Kyle had sensed somehow what she was about to do. She back-flipped back, then slammed her hand on the ground. I saw a rush of ice come lunging at me. Then I felt hands shove me from the side, and I hit the ground.

"OOF!" Ow that hurt, I'd landed on the side I was stabbed on. Like that was going to help! I rolled on my back to yell at whoever it had been who had pushed me. Then I froze.

I heard Wendy somewhere give a scream. Kyle also let out a yell.

Standing in front of me was Stan, with a long bloody icicle running him clean through.