THIS IS NSFW! HERE THERE BE DICKS! Just a fair warning!

Also Wolf at the Door of His Heart is the brainchild of greentrickster/Tie-Dyed Trickster and used with their permission.

Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoy it! I'm always open to feedback if you have any!

Yamcha wasn't much of a reader. He kept up on world news and baseball news and used to have subscriptions to a few sports magazines before his budget shrank again and he had to drop them. But reading as recreation wasn't his favourite hobby, or even in his top five. So he hadn't paid much attention to Tien's bookshelf until he started spending most of his free time at Tien's house.

Tien liked to read. He spent a lot of time doing it, actually. Yamcha had to admit he was a little surprised. He'd thought Tien's downtime activities mostly consisted of training and meditating under waterfalls. But no, he liked reading as well. A lot. Tien and Chiaotzu's shared bookshelf was huge and jam packed, but Yamcha had always assumed most of the books belonged to Chiaotzu. And a lot of them did-Chiaotzu was into classical Chinese literature in a big way and liked to lecture Yamcha and Puar about Journey to the West and Romance of the Three Kingdoms. ("He's just glad to have someone besides me to talk to about them," Tien said once. "I've heard his verbal essay about Xuanzang's relationship with his disciples so many times I can recite it in my sleep.") But just as many belonged to Tien, although they were of a significantly...different caliber.

"Dude," Yamcha said one day. He was stretched out on his stomach across the couch, looking up at the bookshelf. Tien looked over from where he was doing dishes in the kitchen. "Why do you have so much gay porn on your shelf?"

As expected, Tien immediately flushed red from scalp to chest. "It's not porn!" he sputtered.

"Sure looks like it." Yamcha squinted at one of the titles. "What else would a book called His Steamy Touch be?"

"It's about two men-don't even start," he added, waving his dishcloth at Yamcha when he opened his mouth. "One of them is a lawyer and the other one's a servant for the lawyer's client, and the lawyer falls in love with the servant but they can't be together because of classism and homophobia, not to mention the conflict of interest on the lawyer's part. It's sad. But everything turns out okay and they run away to France together."

Yamcha waited a few more seconds, but apparently that was all Tien had to say. "And that explains the Steamy title because...?"

"It's a steampunk novel!" Tien snapped. "Don't be such a pervert!"

Yamcha sat up to get a better look. "What about Wolf at the Door of His Heart? How the hell is that not gay porn?"

"It's not porn!" Tien protested again. He paused. "Actually that one does have more, uh, graphic scenes than the other one."

"You have something steamier than His Steamy Touch?" He whistled and Tien ignored him. "Scandalous!"

"It's also more violent," Tien added. "One of the guys is a werewolf, and there's a whole thing about the history of humans treating werebeasts terribly and how that continues today, and it's kind of a metaphor for-"

"Sorry, I stopped listening after 'werewolf,'" Yamcha said, hauling himself off the couch. He had to see this. "You read gay werewolf porn?"

"It's not porn!"

"And here I thought you were the least tarnished of us all," Yamcha sighed. "Well, except maybe Goku. Pure as the new fallen snow, that one. What a nerd." He tugged Wolf at the Door of His Heart from the shelf and cracked it open, leaning back against the bookshelf.

"...Are you actually reading it?"

"No, I'm just looking at the pages." He looked back at Tien, who was trying to pretend the whole thing wasn't bothering him and mechanically drying the dishes. "I just want to take a look. I've never read this stuff before." Bulma had, he knew that. She used to have quite the little collection of 'romance' novels, many of which involved two (or sometimes more!) men.

There was a very good reason Yamcha knew how many gay romance novels Bulma used to have. He couldn't remember it for the life of him, though.

"He pushed Lupa away, though his body screamed at him to pull him closer. 'We can't,' he protested weakly. 'Clove is-'

'Clove is asleep,' Lupa said, cutting him off and closing the space between them again. 'You put him to bed an hour ago. If you don't want your son to know, he won't, but I want you, Zology.' And he kissed him passionately.

It was only the second time they had kissed and it made Zology just as weak at the knees as the first. He wrapped his arms around Lupa and kissed him back with equal fervor. He could feel himself getting more and more aroused, and an insistent pressure at his hip indicated Lupa was responding in kind. Oh, he wanted. Oh, he needed.

Finally, he broke their kiss. Lupa started to protest, but stopped when Zology grabbed his hand and dragged him toward his bedroom. Once inside, Lupa was on him again, hands deftly stripping Zology of his clothes so he was naked and erect before him-"

"Good read?"

Yamcha nearly jumped out of his skin at Tien's voice, dropping the book and scrambling to grab it and regain his composure. He hadn't realized how absorbed he'd gotten. It wasn't even that good and yet...

He flopped down on the couch and crossed one leg over the other, hoping Tien hadn't noticed exactly how much he'd enjoyed the book. "No," he said. It came out more defensively than he would've liked. "I don't get how you can read that stuff."

Tien shook his head, drying his hands on a towel. "Some of us have hobbies, Yamcha."

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit; you're even more serious about training and crap than I am." He had to think of something else, anything else, than what he'd just read. Puppies. Salad. Chiaotzu talking about classic literature. That did it.

"Well, you know." Tien sauntered over casually. "I get bored sometimes. And sometimes, I get tired of just reading about things."

"Uh." Yamcha didn't have anything to say to that, but it immediately sent his brain whizzing through several steamy scenarios. Tien lying in bed reading, one hand lazily rubbing himself through his pants. Getting more and more aroused, sliding his hand into his pants and sighing in relief at the contact. Eventually abandoning the book altogether and moaning Yamcha's name as he-

"So." Yamcha jumped again; when had Tien gotten into his space like that?! His arms were on either side of Yamcha's head, knees straddling Yamcha's hips, pinning him to the couch. A smile with more subtext than Yamcha could shake a stick at-part lust, part adoration, part awkward shyness, and just a little residual Crane School sadism. "Why don't we leave the books on the shelf for now," he continued, gently taking the book that Yamcha had started gripping like a lifeline and laying it aside, "and focus on the real world?"

Tien's lips were on Yamcha's before he had time to react and he threw his arms around Tien's neck to give himself something to hold onto. His tongue was in Tien's mouth and Tien ground down against him and Yamcha gasped into his mouth and

Yamcha's eyes snapped open and he was suddenly more awake than he'd ever been in his life. He wasn't downstairs on the couch having sex with Tien, he was in Tien's bed and decidedly not having sex with his very asleep boyfriend. And his underwear was sticky.

He had thought he'd grown out of the wet dream stage. Apparently not. Oh this was so gross. And embarrassing. And made all the worse because the earlier part of the conversation was very familiar. He'd had almost that exact conversation with Tien earlier. He really did have half a bookshelf full of homoerotic romance novels. Apparently that fact was more interesting to Yamcha than he'd first thought.

He carefully untangled himself from the sheets and pried himself out of Tien's arms (once he'd figured out the concept of big/small spoon, Tien insisted on being big spoon at least twice a week). Slowly, quietly, so as not to disturb Tien or Puar, who was sleeping at the foot of the bed, he eased out of bed and started to creep out of the room.

"Yamcha?"

He froze and looked over his shoulder at Tien. He rubbed sleepily at his third eye and squinted at Yamcha through the darkness with the other two. "Where you goin'?"

"B-bathroom," Yamcha blurted.

"Oh. 'Kay." And Tien was back to sleep. Yamcha breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to have to have the whole "I just had a sex dream about you" conversation, especially at two in the morning.

It was a topic that was going to come up eventually, though. He chewed his bottom lip as he rinsed his boxers out in the bathroom sink. Now that the relationship had been going on for about a month, it was probably okay to approach Tien about it. Yamcha was the one who had asked to take it slow, and he appreciated Tien's willingness to do so. But Yamcha also knew Tien wasn't going to be the one to bring it up-he'd have to do it.

It would be so awkward, though. First of all, he'd never had to bring it up before-when he'd been with Bulma, it had just happened naturally, and the rest of his experience was mostly one night stands. Tien was absolutely not a one night stand, but sex wasn't going to just happen like it had with Bulma, either. So he'd have to figure out a way to bring it up. Then he'd have to actually get Tien in the mood, which, he was finding, was easier said than done. Any sort of physical contact aside from sparring or cuddling (Tien was an excellent cuddler, Yamcha had been pleased to find) was Yamcha initiated. From what he could tell-Tien's hands twitching toward his when he thought Yamcha wasn't looking, relaxing immediately into Yamcha's embrace like he was waiting for it-he wanted to initiate. But he still just felt awkward about it. Either that or he was pussyfooting around Yamcha's boundaries.

He could always just throw him down and tell him to strip. That'd be fun.

Except he might also interpret it as a challenge and they wouldn't get very far.

Yamcha sighed as he hung his soaking underwear over the edge of the shower rod. He'd bring it up. Tomorrow. Right now he had to figure out a way to get back to the bedroom buck-ass nude and without having to explain to Tien why he was naked.

A week went by.

Then two.

Three days into the third week found Yamcha a tightly wound ball of nerves. Nothing had happened yet, partly because Yamcha and Puar had gotten an emergency client and partly because the longer Yamcha put it off, the more anxious about it he became. And the more anxious he got, the more he put it off. It was a horrible vicious circle, and he knew it, but he needed just a little extra push and it wasn't going to come from him.

(The dreams weren't helping. In fact, they were making things worse. He really, really didn't want to explain to his virgin boyfriend, who he'd known for years, that he'd had multiple wet dreams and fantasies about him. At his age! It was beyond embarrassing. Yamcha had debated talking to someone about it-maybe Bulma, since she knew more about this stuff than he did-but considering it was Bulma, she was just as likely to laugh hysterically at the problem as try to fix it. Probably even more so.)

It got to the point where Tien had asked him multiple times if he was okay after Yamcha made an idiot out of himself because of it. He flubbed his words, tripped over himself, blushed at absolutely everything Tien did (weeding cabbages was not sexy, he told himself, even if Tien did it in that one dream one time). And on one memorable occasion, he tried to lean on the table sexily, missed, and smashed his head on the corner on his way down. That trip to Korin's tower had embarrassed Yamcha more than anything, but it also strengthened his resolve. He was going to have this conversation with Tien. It was going to happen.

He planned it out carefully, making sure it was a time when Chiaotzu was helping out on a neighbor's farm and Puar had stayed back in West City to run her errands. He and Tien were alone in Tien's house. He'd even helped out with chores that morning so they'd be done quicker.

Now he was sitting on the couch, waiting for Tien to come inside. Tien had told him to go in ahead of him, saying he had a few more things to take care of by himself before he was done for the day. That suited Yamcha just fine-it gave him a chance to do some quick preparations. Mostly, those preparations involved displaying himself on the couch in his underwear. When Tien came in, he'd casually glance up at him and go "So. Tien. I think it's time we took things...to the next level."

And as long as Tien didn't immediately turn around and leave they'd be good.

Tien sure was taking his sweet time, though. Yamcha hadn't asked what else he had left to do, so he had no idea how long he was going to have to wait. He'd picked a book off Tien's bookshelf for something to do, but porn really wasn't his thing anymore (and Tien could protest all he liked, it was porn). Besides, so far all that had happened in Ask Me No Questions was the main character complaining about all the wanton sex he had and how he just wanted something "'more...' Ken sighed and looked off into the middle distance. 'Meaninful.'" It had been fifty pages and all Yamcha knew about Ken was that he was stunningly attractive and had a lot of sex. Who read this stuff?

Oh, right. His boyfriend. And ex. Maybe he should give it another shot.

He looked up at a sound from the door. Showtime.

"So, Tien," he started, and the rest of the sentence died in his throat because Tien was leaning shirtless in the doorway.

"Oh hey, Yamcha," he said casually, leaning just so to properly display his many, many muscles. "I'm starting to get a little cold; do you maybe want to warm...me..." He trailed off, blinking at Yamcha displayed on the couch in front of him, and started to turn red. "Uh, why are you naked?"

"I'm not!" Yamcha sat up, blushing. "Why are you shirtless?! Not that I'm complaining," he added.

"I. Uh." Tien visibly deflated. "I was trying to, um, set the mood. As it were."

Yamcha wasn't sure what to say to that. So he said nothing and waited for Tien to elaborate.

"Look," Tien said finally, standing up straight and folding his arms (and shirtless or not, that still looked more like the Tien Shinhan that Yamcha knew). "I know I said I wasn't going to push your boundaries. But, uh, from what I can tell, you seemed...interested." When Yamcha didn't say anything, he continued "So I wanted to show you that I was, too. Interested, that is."

"Hmm." Yamcha leaned on his elbow, still stretched enticingly across the couch. "'Interested,' you say."

Tien seemed very interested in looking at just about anything that wasn't Yamcha. "So. We have the house to ourselves." He glanced at Yamcha lying across the couch, then away. "And it looks like we had the same idea."

Yamcha swung his legs to the floor and stood up. "And here I thought I was being so clever and original," he lamented, stretching.

"Well, at least you came up with it on your own."

Tien looked absolutely mortified at the words as soon as they'd come out of his mouth. Yamcha blinked. "Where did you get the idea from, then?" he asked. Tien came out of the doorway and shut the door behind him in lieu of answering. "Was it from one of your books?" Tien continued to not answer and instead approached Yamcha as he kept talking. "Because I've gotta tell you, Ask Me No Questions is probably the worst book I've ever read-"

And Tien had him by the shoulders and pulled him forward to press their lips together. It didn't take much for Yamcha to relax into him, his arms around Tien's neck, Tien's hands in Yamcha's hair. Yamcha moved just so and they were pressed together from chest to hips, and he felt more than heard Tien take a sharp breath through his nose at that. Confident, he pushed just a little harder, pressing closer, holding tighter, taking control of the kiss and leaving both of them breathless when they finally separated.

Yamcha's chest heaved and Tien was gulping air like each breath was his last, eyes lidded and hands clutching Yamcha's back for dear life. "Like I said," Yamcha panted when he finally got his breath back. "Worst book. I've ever read. But hey, if it was what inspired this?" He slid a hand down Tien's side and bit the inside of his lip at the shiver it sent through Tien. "I can't say I'm complaining."

One of Tien's hands left Yamcha's back and slid up to cup his face, and he leaned forward to give a shorter, gentler kiss than before. "Bedroom?" he murmured when he pulled away.

Yamcha grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

It took longer than expected to get to Tien's bedroom. One or the other of them kept stopping to yank the other into a kiss or a caress every few steps. When they finally got there, they were flushed and breathless. Yamcha kicked the door shut behind them and dipped his hands into Tien's sweatpants. Tien gasped and grabbed Yamcha's waist and upper back, squeezing him close. Yamcha slowly worked Tien's pants down his hips and dropped them on the floor, face buried in Tien's neck and doing his best to kiss him without leaving any marks.

Tien pulled him back up for another kiss, harder and more insistent than the ones he usually initiated. Yamcha leaned into him, curling one arm around his neck and using his other hand to explore Tien's body. He nearly flinched in surprise when Tien's hands did the same. Even on the rare occasions when they made out, Tien hardly ever moved his hands from running through Yamcha's hair. Now, they roamed Yamcha's body, gentle in some areas, pressing harder in others, and Yamcha had to wonder if this was actually another dream because when did Tien learn about this.

He pushed forward and moved them towards the bed. Tien's eyes snapped open as the mattress hit the backs of his knees and he didn't have time to let go of Yamcha before he fell. He dragged Yamcha down with him, his back hitting the mattress and Yamcha crashing unceremoniously on top. He snorted, then laughed when Tien glared at him. "Sorry, sorry," he said, moving in to kiss his jaw as an apology. Tien scooted backwards up the bed, tugging for Yamcha to follow him. Yamcha hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his underwear and Tien swallowed hard, eyes glued to the evidence of Yamcha's arousal. When Yamcha swiftly pulled off his boxers and tossed them aside, Tien swallowed again, and while he seemed to have a hard time looking at Yamcha before, he was having the opposite problem now.

Yamcha crawled up the bed towards Tien, who seemed frozen aside from his eyes. They didn't know what to look at first. They darted up and down and across Yamcha's body, and when Yamcha swung his leg over Tien's to straddle him, they fluttered closed as Tien bowed his head and took a sharp breath in. Tien's briefs were the only remaining clothing, and before Yamcha could get to work on those, Tien's arms were around Yamcha's waist. He buried his face in Yamcha's chest and kissed his way across it, taking the time to explore Yamcha's body with his mouth. One hand slid up Yamcha's back to grab at his hair again, the other down to squeeze his thigh.

Yamcha made a noise that under any other circumstance he'd be immensely embarrassed about. God this was so much better than doing it by himself, even if it was obvious Tien was inexperienced. The occasional scrape of teeth spoke to that. But being here, doing this with Tien, was still better than anything he'd experienced in a long, long time.

Yamcha pulled Tien up for another kiss and dragged his hands across his shoulders and down his arms. He never used to find muscles attractive-he certainly hadn't when he was younger-but Tien's were just stunning. He worked his way down Tien's body, finally digging a finger under Tien's waistband. Tien broke the kiss with a shuddering gasp. "Gonna take these off for me?" Yamcha asked. He leaned down to kiss Tien's neck. "Or do I have to do it for you?"

He felt Tien swallow under his lips and that was way hotter than it had any right to be. "Right. Okay. Let me just..." Yamcha had to move and Tien had to lie down to maneuver his underwear off his hips, and by the time he did, Yamcha had burned into his mind forever the image of Tien lying on his back, naked, with his hips high in the air. As soon as Tien had tossed the underwear into some corner of the room, Yamcha was back on top, knees on either side of Tien's waist, leaning forward to pin Tien to the bed. If Tien really wanted to, he could overpower Yamcha and be the one on top fairly easily. But he didn't. Instead, he reached up and took Yamcha's face in his hands, and if Yamcha had been prone to crying he probably would have. Tien's face, normally so stoic and stern and sometimes confused or awkward, had the softest, gentlest expression of adoration. It almost hurt to look at.

Yamcha leaned down so they were pressed together from chest to hips again, a quiet moan escaping him from the skin on skin contact. Tien was less subtle. His eyes went wide, then snapped shut as he let out a low, filthy groan. Yamcha's throat was suddenly dry. He swallowed. Tien worked his eyes open, locking onto Yamcha's face, still cradled in Tien's hands. He tugged, and Yamcha followed, meeting Tien's mouth with his own.

Then Yamcha started to move.

Everything was a bit of a blur after that. Tien's head lolled back and Yamcha buried his face in the crook of Tien's neck again, gasping his name. Tien rolling his hips up to meet Yamcha's. Finding their rhythm. Tien's mouth on his neck, hands in his hair, Yamcha's name on his lips. Yamcha pressing their foreheads together, watching from up close as Tien squeezed his third eye shut and the other two glazed over, whole body tensing with a sharp cry before going slack and boneless, Yamcha joining him soon after...

Yamcha honestly could have fallen asleep on top of Tien afterwards, draped across him comfortably while Tien stroked his hair. It was still the middle of the day, though, and if Chiaotzu came in for lunch and it wasn't ready and he found the two of them like this, they'd never hear the end of it.

Tien kissed the top of Yamcha's head and murmured something into his hair. Yamcha smiled and kissed his jaw.

Maybe just a few more minutes.