A/N: I was cruel in the last chapter, I know. I would appreciate if you'd check the poll on my profile. I need some Naruto pairing ideas for future story plans. To see sneak peaks on the upcoming chapters, visit my profile and find the link to my LiveJournal. I occasionally dump pieces from future chapters there and write small original stories.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

Mistake

Chapter Eleven: Lugubrious

The silence was absolutely unbearable. Kakashi and Sakura had not talked to each other since last night and he doubted that a conversation would start any sooner. They both left the inn early this morning at eight sharp, bidding their short farewells to the kind, old lady and taking off. They were now walking steadily along the dirt path rather than running through the vast field. No words had needed to be spoken, but it was obvious that the kunoichi thought it was now unnecessary to sprint. After all, they were at a reasonable distance away from their destination. It wouldn't be long until they arrived and met the ninja in need of assistance at the rendezvous point.

Kakashi shoved his gloved hands deep into the pockets of his dark linen pants and watched the pinkette with his single eye. She was walking in front of him, calmly, swiftly, and silently. His gaze lingered for a few more seconds before rising up to see the morning sky. He truly did not know what was going on with him. He knew very well that his current attitude was different that what it usually was. His soft side was beginning to emerge and there were so many emotions that seemed foreign to him. It was difficult to find the words to explain the feelings swimming within.

He supposed remorse was the biggest one out of all of them. It was biting at him, chewing at his insides and tearing it all apart. The memories of that lustful night remained in his mind, making him unusually uneasy. He wanted to take it all back, erase all of the things he had done to himself and her and then start all over. Their desire-filled actions had tainted their relationship. The two of them were now standing on dangerous grounds and they were both on the border of breaking down, both physically and mentally.

The jonin took in a slow, deep breath and calmed himself. He needed to pull his act together.

The two shinobi continued to journey on with very few breaks. The daytime seemed short, for sundown came around very quickly. They both managed to make it to another small town where they lodged in an inn. Fortunately for them, there were not many people resting in the inn, so they each had their own room to make use of.

Once Kakashi parted ways with the girl and entered his room, he felt every inch of his body relax. He hadn't realized he had been extremely tense. Had he been so concentrated on his personal conflicts that he did not notice?

He groaned inwardly and tossed his backpack onto his bed. He discarded his flak vest, gloves, and forehead protector and threw it alongside the backpack. His arms extended outward for a short moment before retreating to the bathroom to wash his face. He ran the faucet, tugged his mask down to his collarbone, and splashed the freezing water onto his face, the coldness stinging his porcelain skin.

Sighing heavily, he retrieved a small towel to pat himself dry. His attention averted to the mirror sitting before him, his reflection clear as day. He appeared exhausted, worn out, and stressed. His mismatched eyes were dull and lifeless, his hair was disheveled and messy, and his lips were cracked and drying up. He decided that he would be needing a long, hot bath later. It would certainly rejuvenate him.

Kakashi left the bathroom with small, idle steps and approached the bedside. He searched his belongings for his water bottle, but there was no trace of the item. It eventually occurred to him that he had lent it to Sakura a while back when she had gone overboard and he cursed under his breath. He was extremely parched. This room was smaller than the last one they had slept in, too small to contain a kitchenette of some sort. Unfortunately, here was only a wooden closet, a bed, a nightstand, and the bathroom. At the moment, it seemed that his only option would be to eat at the petty diner downstairs next to the lobby.

There was a sudden knock at the door and he sluggishly strode toward it. His bare hand took a hold of the metallic knob and twisted it, pulling it open afterward. His eyes immediately met the emerald ones of his mission partner.

The silver-haired shinobi waited impatiently for her to explain her appearance. He observed her as she swallowed nervously, shifting her weight from one foot to another. He felt a tad bit better knowing that he wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable.

"Can I come in?" she finally asked, nearly in a hushed whisper.

He didn't think before he responded. His body moved on its own as he stepped aside, allowing her inside and closing the door behind her. He mentally cursed at himself, knowing that her presence would not bring him any good. Attempting to keep a calm composure he leaned back against the door frame, his arms folding in front of his chest, and watched as the pink-haired kunoichi stood silently in front of him.

His gaze roamed up and down her figure, noticing that she had changed into casual attire. Kakashi shook his head shortly after to rid himself of the rousing thoughts that were soon to come. If he had the power or chance, he would beseech the gods to relieve him of this horrifying burden. No matter the effort, this distraction would always manage to weigh him down. He found it disgraceful that he was now unable to keep a serene mental state, especially after so many years of being able to do so.

Kakashi's attention returned to his guest and saw that she was holding something behind her back. Once she realized that he was staring, her cheeks grew red and she quickly held out the object to him. Stuttering slightly, she began, "I-I never had the chance to return your water bottle. I thought I'd might do it now since I figured I had time."

His hand reached out to retrieve his belonging and he observed it. It was full and seemed clean, so he assumed that she had washed it and filled it before they departed from the last inn they stayed at. He looked at the bottle for a second, then at Sakura. At that moment, he knew that he could no longer withstand the feel of her being around him. His chest was going to burst any minute.

"Is this your excuse for coming over here?" he questioned. "If it is, I would appreciate it if you would leave this instant."

"Actually," she started quietly, "no. I was wondering if we would be able to talk for a little while."

His stomach twisted painfully and he released a harsh breath. He made his way toward the bedside and claimed his seat, propping his elbows on his thighs and pressing his bare face against the palms of his hands. He could already feel his heart pounding fast and sweat becoming beads on his forehead. "I was hoping that you wouldn't say that," he mumbled truthfully, his voice muffled.

"It's difficult for me too," he heard her say. The mattress shifted slightly, the weight toward his right increasing. The scent of strawberries permeated his nostrils, causing him to shudder with discomfort.

His jaw and his fists clenched. Discussing openly about their opinions and feelings toward the predicament was perhaps the most impossible for him to do. From the beginning, he was never blessed with the ability of being able to talk freely about his past and personal emotions. Kakashi preferred to keep it all to himself, lock it up in a cage and leave it unattended deep in his heart.

"How do you feel?"

Kakashi looked at her through the opening between his fingers. "Sick and frustrated," he answered coldly.

There was a small pause. "Kakashi, I understand that you'd rather not talk, but I really just wanted to make something clear."

He rose a brow at her, uncovering his face and letting his hands drop to his knees. "And that would be?"

Sakura exhaled and let her eyelids shut. "There is no easy way for me to say this…but I just want to make it clear that there is nothing between us," she breathed.

The jonin shook at those words and a sudden feeling of hurt crossed his onyx and crimson eyes. He already knew that what they were doing was breaking a number of taboos, violating numerous rules, and just defying morals. What both he and her had done was illicit, yet the honesty tied with her words killed something within him, leaving him feeling utterly empty. Was this what people called a heartbreak?

His eyebrows furrowed and he remained silent, having no response to her statement. The kunoichi turned to glance at him shortly before allowing her gaze to trail elsewhere. "The things we have been doing are…terribly wrong. You were once my mentor and I was once your student. Although we are now equals, I still can't look at you like you're someone else. To me, you are still my sensei and friend," she explained. "But…I…it's us. We are wrong. I just wanted to make sure that you know that there was nothing between us to start with."

"I know," he said weakly.

"Good." Sakura took in a slow, easy breath, her eyes flickering open to meet his. They met for only a moment before he broke off and stared at his trembling hands sitting on his lap. Kakashi did not understand the emotions swimming throughout him. It was all a huge puzzle and it was frustrating to try to put all the pieces back together. Sakura was completely right with her reasoning, but why was his chest aching horribly?

His muscles immediately tensed and he stiffly adjusted his position, his back bending over into a bridge as his elbows reached down to his thighs. He listened to the soft breathing of his former student sitting beside him, the small tap tap tap noises against the window glass from the beginnings of a drizzle, and the slight creaking of the fan circling above them. He wondered, maybe he shouldn't have allowed entry to the girl. Maybe then, he would have been feeling much better than now.

Kakashi tried his best not to groan. He thought back to the day when he hauled Sakura back to his apartment complex after watching her drink herself to a drunken stupor. It had all started out fine with a few simple teases and jokes every now and then. It was a normal, friendly conversation, but the tension eventually escalated and he found himself being seduced by her. It was still hard for him to believe that he let his guard down. He knew now that he just couldn't trust anyone anymore.

"Kakashi."

The silver-haired man eyed Sakura lifelessly, watching as she gave him a concerned side glance. "About last night," she wondered, "you said that you don't want to forget what had happened." His lips pressed together and he glared at the wall across the room, realizing the topic being brought up. "Is it true?" she continued hesitantly. "Do you really feel that way?"

He pondered for a long time, searching for the correct words to say. After deciding that he should be honest with her, he ran his fingers through his disheveled hair and murmured, "Yes…I do. I don't want to forget what happened last night, and the many nights before."

"…Please. Try to forget."

A severely sharp pang of pain shot straight through him, leaving him feeling absolutely hollow. Kakashi almost chuckled at himself, finding it foolish that he was becoming overwhelmed. It was despicable. He was a goddamn elite jonin, for kami's sake! He endured many harsh training and learned to keep his emotions locked up, yet how did a mere girl manage to destroy those barriers?

Kakashi sighed. His eyes began to sting and he winced as a tiny small droplet landed on his knuckles. His skin grew pale and his lips parted to gasp. The droplets continued to rain down, some streaming down the sides of his cheekbones. Was he crying?

"Kakashi?" Sakura's voice was much closer than it should have been. He reluctantly glanced to the side, only to discover her leaning toward him, her hand hesitantly reaching forward, her emerald specs filled with the slightest worry. Trembling, he whispered, "Leave."

Before she could protest, he gently held onto her wrist and pulled, bringing her to her feet. "Go," he insisted, more boldly and sternly.

"But Kakashi—"

"Sakura," croaked Kakashi, bringing his hands to wipe his eyes. "Leave."

The kunoichi finally obeyed and departed, closing the door silently behind her. It was strange, he thought, he had never cried this much.

~ X x . . . x X ~

Sakura sat stone still on the leather chair staring only at the untouched food sitting on the tabletop. She had gone down to the small diner next to the lobby to take a quick bite and hopefully astray her mind from the previous experience. Sadly, she was unable to do so.

Kakashi was a strong, passionate elite jonin who never failed to hide his emotions. He was stupendously vague and his background was more than hazy. His odd personality traits was what had helped him become a pert, dependable leader and teacher. He was also the Great Copy Ninja and his name was known far and wide across the vast nations. Yet, despite all of these astounding facts, she had seen him broken, crumbling into little tiny pieces.

It was the first time she had ever seen him shed a single tear.

Ever since Sakura was a genin, she had always thought he was one to never show his sorrow. In fact, she thought it was impossible for the man to cry. Seeing him like that had certainly shocked her, worrying her even. Although she wanted to keep a distance between them, she still cared deeply for him as a companion. There was no surprise that she wanted to comfort him, it was all natural instinct.

Leaning back into her seat, she recalled the recent images of her mission partner's facial expressions. They had been full of disappointment and he had oddly seemed pained. Had it been something she said that caused all of this? Or had it been the frustration building within him? Either way, she still felt horribly remorseful.

Sakura shook her head and finally began to eat her meal, slowly, sluggishly. It was quite a while before she finished her food. People had stared at her quizzically, wondering why she was taking her time. She didn't mind all of the attention. They were of no importance to her. Sakura pushed her now empty plate to the side and proceeded to drink her refreshment. Once she was done, she called the waiter over and ordered another set meal for to go.

After receiving her order, Sakura made her swift exit from the petty diner. Her journey back to her room was unusually long and the length of the corridors seemed incessant. The lights were dim, making it slightly hard for her to see which room was hers. She searched diligently and discovered it minutes later. Her petite hand reached into the pocket of her jacket to grab her keys, but she paused abruptly.

Her head turned to look back over her shoulder. She stared at the door to Kakashi's room across the hall and listened intently. There were no signs of movement whatsoever. Sucking in a slow breath, she crept to the door and tried the knob. It opened, much to her surprise, and she ventured in deeper. Her footsteps were quiet against the wooden paneling on the floor, the boards barely creaking. Carefully, she placed the packed food on the nightstand before turning to glance at the sleeping jonin.

The blankets were thrown messily over his body, a portion covering his naked face. His porcelain skin was pale under the faint moonlight, nearly white as if he had seen a ghost. His cheeks seemed moist and there were fresh drops of tears hanging from his lashes, meaning that he must have fallen into a deep slumber only recently. It appeared that he had been crying for a while and the pit of her stomach twisted painfully at that thought.

Sakura leaned forward, planting one hand on the edge of the mattress, the other gently settling on his broad shoulder. Her eyebrows scrunched up at the sight of his weary appearance. She was feeling extremely pitiful, regretful, and most of all guilty. She couldn't help but to think that this was all her fault. The reasons for his sorrow were unknown, but she was sure that she had been the one to make the matters worse. Had she hurt him somehow? There were many unanswered questions that she had in mind.

Her knuckle grazed the nape of his neck, tingling from the coldness of his flesh. Her eyes closed and she hung her head. She remained that way for the next few seconds before returning to the comfort of her room. She fell sound asleep, praying that the following day would be much better.

~ X x . . . x X ~

It was full moon tonight. The dark sky was barely illuminated with very little stars scattered about. The atmosphere was silent, soothing, almost peaceful. This night was certainly a beautiful one, yet also a sleepless one.

He lit his cigarette, then stuffed the lighter back into the pocket of his clad linen pants. The grey smoke rose, tainting the zephyr with a bittersweet scent. He took a few more drags before putting it out on the railing of the balcony and throwing it off into the distance. He watched as the orange-yellowish spark disappeared into the shadows beneath, then resumed gazing out into the distance.

The glass door behind him slid open and struggling footsteps were heard. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he mumbled, "I told you not to get out of bed. You're only going to injure yourself further, Neji."

Neji stiffly stepped to his side and rested his arms on the rusty railing. "Kiba's snoring is obnoxiously loud," murmured the Hyuga.

"That is no excuse."

"Speak for yourself. You're also hurt."

"Not as bad as you. You're wounded in various places and your leg was cut severely. I don't even know how you managed to get out here."

"Takes a lot of effort," sighed Neji, tapping his fingers rhythmically.

"Hell, it must have."

The brown-haired shinobi straightened himself and lifted his head to stare at the sky above. "Why are you up so late…Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru eyed his mission partner lazily. "Keeping watch."

Neji rose a brow. "The enemy's base is far from here. Besides, they couldn't have traced our location. We were precise when we retreated and we even used most of our smoke bombs."

"You can never be so certain," drawled Shikamaru. "Now go back into the room and rest before you reopen your wounds."

"Alright," obeyed Neji, returning inside. "Aren't you coming?"

"I'll be there in a second."

Once again, it was utterly silent. Shikamaru listened to the soft singing of the crickets, his eyelids sliding closed. "Shit," he breathed, "I hope the reinforcements will come sooner."

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