Note: This chapter contains swearing and nudity, but nothing sexual. If you aren't comfortable with that, a recap will be provided in chapter 12 so you don't miss anything important. Let me know if you think the rating should change. Reviews are always appreciated, guys!

Fish Out of Water

But Pravar wasn't finished or anything like that. You said it was birdshot.

Pravar could still walk, so we could move pretty quickly, but as soon as we made it down into the next valley, we collapsed in a heap. There was a creek with little ponds as it flowed down the slope, and Micah chugged from his water bottle before passing it around. He pulled out an empty one to refill. Yoko was way ahead of him, lapping up creek water greedily. Pravar hastily wiped tears from his eyes and rolled up his pants leg.

"Oh God," gasped Micah, catching a glimpse and turning white. He'd never liked the sight of people's blood. Nearly passed out in the kitchen when I cut myself one day. "Lilly, Sophie, you deal with this." He sat down on a nearby rock, head in his palm and gulping air.

Pravar gritted his teeth and poked at his leg. There was blood and dirt everywhere, but nothing seemed to be missing. Ugly black beads seemed embedded in his skin. It wasn't bleeding much. "It's not as bad as it looks," he said nobly. "Can't you get lead poisoning from bullets though?" "Birdshot," Micah corrected weakly.

"Sophie, will you help me?" I snapped. I was getting impatient. Sophie threw down her pack and whirled around. She'd evidently got her breath back.

"You know what? Screw you, Lilly! Screw you! We all know this was your fucking idea! This is the dumbest, the stupidest, th- th- the most asinine idea ever!" I'd never seen Sophie quite like this. She'd had some pretty spectacular meltdowns back at school, but those were generally over grades and dirty dishes. Now she turned her back to us and started ripping off her clothes. We were all wearing more clothing than we really needed to save space in our packs. Part of it was to protect against scratches, the rest was just for portability. It was pretty brutal, actually. Sensible, Heidi-ish, but brutal. "I am hot, I am tired, Pravar just got shot, we're hungry, we're never going to see real food again, we all smell like ass, I know I've got blisters the size of eggs, and for what? For fucking what, Lilly? For what, Micah? We've got nowhere to go, there's a psycho with a gun out there, and they're eating people's faces! Their faces!" Her face was red, but she wasn't crying this time. She'd stripped completely and was wading into the water. "It's all so fucking pointless – aaargh!"

An attack?

No, she just slipped and fell. With a splash. A very angry splash, and that water was ice cold. It was pretty comical, and sad at the same time: blobby, self-conscious Sophie baring herself in front of boys because she was too frustrated and tired to care.

Pravar was sitting with his eyes screwed shut, turning pink from holding his breath, I guess. In all likelihood, this was the first naked chick he'd ever seen. We were always teasing him, trying to corrupt his innocence and all – back before all this. Micah was just staring at Sophie in disbelief.

"Well what the hell did you expect!?" I yelled back, hands on hips. This wasn't fair.

"We just left everyone! Everyone! I'm not going to see my sisters again, I'm not going to see my mom. We left them behind. We left Max! And it's your fucking fault!" Sophie splashed the water like a two-year old, got herself wetter, and burst into tears in the middle of the creek.

I was at a loss for words.

Was it true?

What she said?

About your families.

Yeah.

[Lilly looks at her hands. I can tell she chews her nails. I can also see she'll need some prompting.]

So you guys fought.

It was the first of many fights. Sophie and I had been roommates freshman year, so we were used to being at each other's throats. No RAs* to run to this time.

But as I understand it, you always made up, even if it was just for the sake of the group.

There was always going to be Max between us. On some level, I'm sure Sophie knew that we were right, that he probably had been bitten, but there was a lot of tension there. After we built our first place, we made a sort of little memorial for Max. Maximilian Oscar Alvarez, age twenty-one. Carved his name and birthday into a tree. For a while, Sophie kept leaving flowers there. We even planted some. We could take you there if you want to see.

No, no, that's not necessary.

Ah, right. More important things to talk about. Group unity and such.

[She considers this, biting her lip thoughtfully as she searches for words.]

This was a turning point for us. It really started to hit home that we only had each other; that things weren't going to be just like they were in college. A different dynamic, if you will. Hopping in the water was just the start of it. All of a sudden, we were just that much closer. Micah was the first to do it. Sophie had splashed him with her tantrum, and he splashed right back, then started undressing. It was hot that day. The water really did look inviting, and at least he kept his boxers on. It was my turn to stand there slack-jawed. "Come on, dude," he said, facing Pravar. "Get in there."

Pravar grunted and struggled to his feet, lip set with his rare determined look. He was trying to be brave. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked them both. "H-his leg, it needs to be cleaned. It's going to get infected. Antibiotics! Shit, we've gotta find this stuff! It's in the bags. Pravar, you got shot, for God's sake! What the hell are you doing?"

"Lilly," announced Pravar, sounding oddly authoritative, "I'm the one who got shot. At this point, I don't give a flying fuck."

Pravar hardly ever swore and just today he was dropping f-bombs. Like I said, things were changing. "Come on, Lils," coaxed Micah, offering a hand to Pravar. "We'll get it cleaned up in the water. It's from a spring; it's clean. You'll see. It's not that bad." For someone who had earlier been ready to pass out at the sight of blood, Micah was seeming remarkably confident in this. After a bit of spluttering and shock at seeing Pravar's naked butt, I got undressed and joined them.

Bonding time?

I guess you could say that.

And much needed bathing.

"Guys," croaked Sophie as we crouched there shivering, trying to keep our bodies beneath the water, "I'm glad you're here."

"Look," said Pravar, jostling her with his elbow and pointing towards the somewhat-deeper water. "There's fish." He was right. Muddy brown minnows or something, the biggest six inches long. "See, Sophie? You won't starve."

He was answered by a hollow moan that echoed down our valley. Yoko had been splashing frantically in and out of the pool. I thought she had been playing, but I guess she was trying to get our attention. Micah scanned the crest, squinting against the afternoon sun. A lone figure thrashed against the backdrop of pine trees. "Aaw, man," he said, rising to his feet. "Of course."

*RA, resident assistant. The concept of placing older, more experienced residents in charge of small dormitory groups was adopted by many of the larger refugee settlements that relied on barrack-style housing. DeStRes credits the low-stress program with reducing resident tensions and limiting the need for patrols within overcrowded buildings.