Lord of the Flies 2: Chapter 11

(Still in Ralph's POV)

The car ride home is long and excruciatingly quiet. I guess my mother doesn't know what to do with me either. When she finally speaks we're almost home. "I'm going to make another appointment with Dr. Westly." Oh, great. "What happened on that island? Did you really help mur- Did you really help?"

What did happen?

"I-I don't know," I answer.

"How do you not know?"

I shrug. "I don't know."

"Well, what happened?" Mom pulls over into an abandoned parking lot. "You where there weren't you?"

"Yeah..."

"So, what happened?" she demands.

"It's complicated."

She folds her arms. "I have all night."

I stare at my feet. "Everyone was scared because we thought there was some sort of beast on the island. We saw it once on the mountain. Jack went off and started his own group soon after. His group hunted a pig and they invited us all for a feast." I pause.

"Go on." She sounds annoyed.

"Afterwards there...there was this chant. They were doing some sort of a... reenactment of the hunt... I joined in with them."

"What was the chant?"

My voice shakes."K-kill the pig. Slit her throat. Bash her in."

"What next?"

"Simon came running towards. It was dark. We couldn't see too well. We thought he was the beast... We ran after him. We were all a part of it..." I can feel the tears coming. " I d-didn't actually... stab him with a spear a-and you know, b-but I helped surround h-him and I joined t-that bloody chant. "

"But couldn't you see he wasn't a beast once you got closer?"

The tears begin to fall. "Well... I don't know. I don't understand that myself. I-I think part of me knew... but another part didn't know what was going on until after it happened." I look up. "Does that make any sense?" I ask. "Any sense at all?"

She stares at me for a long time, with a look full of disgust. "No... it doesn't." Her voice is ice cold. We back out of the parking lot.

The rest of the car ride is silent, except for my sobbing.

When we get home I run upstairs and lock myself in my room.

There's no more denying it. I helped! Why did I help?!

I'm a monster...a beast. A horrible, horrible beast.

I bury my face in a pillow and scream, then I collapse on the bed shaking and sniveling. I cry myself to sleep, and finally, for once, I don't dream about anything.

When I wake up the next morning Mom has already left for work. I skip breakfast and go for a walk.

I walk all day thinking about Simon and regretting every single stupid thing that happened on that island. I just don't understand what happened. We must of known it was Simon. How could we not? It was dark, but not that dark. I think back to when Simon suggested that the beast was only us. I'm beginning to think that maybe he was right. Maybe we were our only danger. Maybe, whatever it was we saw on the mountain, wasn't as dangerous as we thought.

I start sobbing again, and people begin to stare. A couple of people stop me and offer help, but I tell them that I'm okay and that I'm headed home.

The truth is, I don't know where home is, and I don't know if I want to go back. I don't think I could handle my mother looking at me with that disgusted look one more time.

It's getting dark. My stomach growls, and I realize I haven't eaten all day. My mouth feels dry, my vision is blurred, and my head feels a little dizzy, but I push myself to keep walking further.

I keep going for a few more hours until I collapse on the sidewalk. Everything goes black.

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