"Archimedes! Wake up knuckledragger! Friggin' breakfast."

"These guards are getting more ignorant as the minutes I'm stuck in this hole go by. Maybe I can have some fun with this one..." He thought as he shrugged his shoulders menacingly, which were clad in locks that chained on him and attached tightly to a wall behind him. He turned his head and received an ice cold string of lightning from just a mere defense weapon. "Oh heck no runt!"

"ZAP!"

Did it again. This time he was going to be faster than the foolish rhinoceros that felt strong only because of the tazer. "I said wake!" the rhino said as he swang his tazer. He caught it, stared into his eyes, smacked it on the rhinos neck, tossed him down and broke his horn.

"Gaaaaaah!" He screamed in terror.

He punched him unconscious and drug his more than heavy body near the door and then ate his sloppy food.

~Sly's Cell~

"Pssst. Oliver?" Sly said quietly as guards paced the room. Oliver looked to the left of his cell and acknowledged him. "Yeah, Sly I have the shivs ready, take one." Sly thanked him and started taunting the guards.

"Hello intellectually insuperior beings." The guards turned their heads to face sly and raised an eyebrow. "I doubt any of you could take me down, and if you do your too scared to face me one by one. Isn't that why you mutts locked me in a cage?" The guards looked even more angry than before. "Come on, someone go ahead. A guard walked up to the cell and slammed his nightstick against the cage In an effort to intimidate and quiet Sly.

Sly grabbed his arm and slammed it against the cell door and broke his shoulder. He shived his in the neck. "Sorry", he said as he took his gun, key and escaped the cell as he shot down the other guards. He unlocked Oliver's cell but they were both beaten with nighsticks from behind.

~Archimedes' Pit~

Sly and Oliver were tossed into the pit just like Archimedes' was the first day he got there. "Not so alone now huh Olive?"

"I'd feel better if Arch over there stopped giving me the one-man-gang-bang face." When Archimedes heard that he marched over to him and pushed him down, preparing to break his cheekbones. He laid multiple shots onto his chest to wear him down before Sly interfered, which resulted him being tossed across the room, breaking a few blocks. Sly recovered shortly after and ran full speed and kicked Archimedes in the face.

"CRAAAAAACK!"

Archimedes held his injured face in pain as he rolled back and forth in anger and embarrassment.

"You alright Olive?!"

Oliver held his chest in pain and coughed continuously before Sly grabbed his hand and raised him up.

"Thanks Sly."

"You owe me." Olive rolled his eyes and turned his head to the ape. "You wanna get out of here? So do we. We came here for your help but instead you attack us like an evil man's house party gift before we could even ask your help. Now please.", he took a breath in order to calm himself, "make a plan."

Archimedes, now more respectful of the two, nodded his head.

~Interview 2 week 2~

"Good afternoon Jessica."

"Good afternoon to you too sly." She said with a bright smile. "Let's start shall we?"

"My pleasure." He said with a grin.

"What's the plan?" She asked mysteriously.

"Archimedes is gonna break the locks, beat down the guards, take their weapons, meet with you and use our skills to retrieve our equipment, we'll then head out of this asylum."

"That sounds pretty rough around the edges, but it should work... So, the required work. Were you in a relationship before you were usenet to the asylum?"

"You know the answer. But yes, Carmelita Fox... Deceased."

"Are you interested in anyone in the asylum?" She asked looking at the clipboard then back at him.

"Yes." Sly winked. "I have a feeling you're interviewing for something else."

She smiled,"Smart, doesn't take a genius to figure that one out though."

"Ouch."

"I don't exactly want this interview to end." She said dreamily.

"How bout I drop by? Where do they keep you here?"

She replied shyly, "They keep a lot of the females seperated from the males in bunks..."

"Oh." Sly said lowering his perked ears.

"But," She said making his ears perk. "I can request that you can be interviewed during nighttime while I steal supplies for dinner."

"Nice, call it a date." He said with a bright smile.

"Love too."

With that he was dismissed and taken back to the pit.

~The Pit~

"Hey Sly! How'd the interview go?" He asked bored out of his mind.

"It went pretty good." He said scratching the back of his head. "Actually, it went pretty well. We're meeting tonight for a date."

"Congratulations Sly. I think I have something here for celebration." He said as he dug a bin out of the ground's storage. "Ah hah" He said as he pulled out a bottle. "Red wine!"

"Thanks but I don't think it'll be needed." Sly said lifting an eyebrow.

"Well, just in case." He said handing him the bottle of fine red wine.

~Date~

Sly knocked on the door and was greeted by his favorite female raccoon, like that of his parents.

"Your... Whoa." He said with his jaw dropped, "Sorry... Is it okay that I brought wine?"

"Honestly it's great, I haven't had a sip of fine wine in a long time." She said with a grin as Sly escorted her to the table.

"There you go." He said as he pulled her chair out for her.

"Such a gentleman." She said as he poured the wine for the both of them.

"So what did you find in this asylum anyhow?"

"I stole some ingredients for pasta."

"Nice, well... also naughty." Sly said.

"Trust me I've had a long history of it." She said rolling her eyes.

"Do tell." Sly said curiously.

"Well when I was young I ran away from my father and my first week I starved anI almost died. I started stealing fruits to live, fruits became meals, and meals,"She said with a pause,"Became Treasures and riches."

"Ah, nice story you have." He was curious about her father but he didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Now how about you." She said taking a bite of food.

"It's not as amazing as yours but it'll be okay. I was born into a family of thieves of all eras. Each with their own little contribution to their bloodline and family. All of them had at least one child to pass on all of the family's knowledge and abilities, and sometimes the hurtful truths of the real world. They were all killed by one enemy who immortalized himself to wipe my family off the earth. But I was lucky... I killed him. I was left to live without my dad but at least I had a family... Or had a family." He finished in silence.

"Sly i'm..." She said sincerely.

Sly interrupted."It's okay, I was the one who made it awkward."

"No it's not that. I want to be the one that fills that void." With that she kissed him passionately.

His heart lept In his chest.

Even though he was usually swauve and a lady's man, he had no idea what to and he almost left before she brought him to the couch and told her one of her stories While she lay her head on his chest.

"When I was young my dad used to love me but after mom died he turned to the drink and he never turned away. One night he attacked me with a wooden chair and he broke it on my back." She paused and closed her eyes. "He almost killed me when he did that, he didn't know what he was doing. He was drunk but that's when he snapped out of it and then when he realized what he did he put me up for adoption. He must've hated me."

"He didn't hate you Jessica, he loved you. He put you up for adoption for your protection." He said sincerely as he stroked her hair.

"I guess so." She said quietly as she yawned and cuddled closer to him.

He almost got off the couch until she dragged him back.

"Stay." She said with a smile, eyes open and as chocolate as ever.

"Goodnight." He said as he hugged her before falling asleep.

~Note~

Please be descriptive in reviews so I know what's popular on my story and what's not and what to keep and what to drop.

Thanks.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I almost forgot. I've been working on a document for Sly's son, Garret. This is only a little off the top so please tell me if its okay.

I woke up this fateful morning and got off of my cot. It was my time to leave the military base and get back to my father: Sly Cooper. Yup, Sly was my dad, I lived in his shadow for most of my life but It wasn't like that in the military at all. I was just as nameless, faceless, and fameless as all my other comrades. But I guess Im going to be more appreciative of what I have when I get home because to be honest, I had no friends here and was definately wasn't going to be missed. Well, not by the soilders anyways. I was found handsome by the load of nurses on the base. I don't know what to think about that though, they probably haven't seen a square jaw to match the rest of my features in some time now. Most of the women looked a lot like my mother, Carmelita, which made it kind of hard to date some of the women at this camp. But at least some of them looked different from her. All four years I wanted to meet them again as well as my uncles Bentley and Murray. Hopefully I can make an honest living and not have to become just another thief.

Submit some of your OC's and they could win a spot in the story. I have little ideas and to be honest a lot if you guys do, so If you think he/she can fit in the story leave a bio in the review and I'll give you credit.

~Note~

I think I'm gonna have to stop writing this for a while. It's not worth the time if you ask me but it can give me time to write more oneshots until I start getting funner to write for this story.

Eagle out!