DISCLAIMER: I neither own Glee nor the characters. They are the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. This is purely for fun. Enjoy! :)

A/N: Sorry about the delay my loves, but I hope you enjoy this chapter! We're getting down to the home stretch with this one!

Warning: There will some citrus-y stuff at the end of this chapter, but there will not be smut.

Chapter Eleven

Touch your thighs, I'm the lonely one

Remember that last sweat, cause that was the right one

Oh, your mysteries are moving in the sun

I show some love and respect

Want to get some love and respect

It was bright in Finn's bedroom when he opened his eyes against the sunlight that leaked through his blinds, and he covered his face with his pillow to block out the torturous rays of light that made his eyes ache. As much as he wanted to just fall back into the blissful oblivion of sleep, something else registered in the back of his head that made going back to sleep almost impossible, and he sat up and rubbed his eyes against the light.

It was Christmas morning.

Sure, he didn't have any presents under the tree, and maybe he wouldn't be stuffing his face full of his mom's french toast and cinnamon rolls, but it was still Christmas! That had to mean something, right?

He tried to drag himself out of bed but fell right back down again, already feeling exhausted before he even slipped out of the covers. Yeah, Christmas meant something, all right. It meant that in less than 24 hours, Rachel would be gone; on her way back to Lima and out of his life for good. As much as he'd been looking forward to her departure, the idea of her leaving was hanging over his head like the blades of a guillotine. He wanted her to leave, of course, so why was the thought making him so anxious?

We've settled our differences, we're ready to move on. By this time tomorrow, it will seem like it was all a dream. Like she was never even here.

He stepped out of his bedroom and walked into the living room, where Rachel was sitting in front of the TV, watching a Christmas morning parade, already wide awake and dressed in her signature reindeer sweater. He'd always secretly loved that sweater, and it didn't help that it made her look adorable.

"Good morning." She said softly, not making eye contact.

"Merry Christmas." Finn corrected, and she finally turned around and shot him a small smile.

"Ah, yes, you're right. Merry Christmas." He noticed her fiddling with the necklace he had given her last night, and he watched as she held onto the star pendant tightly, like she couldn't let go of it even if she wanted to. There was nothing else to do but stand around awkwardly, so he went over to the couch and sat down next to her, trying to make himself look comfortable and relaxed instead of awkward and forced. He didn't really feel comfortable or relaxed, but Rachel seemed to be enjoying the parade.

"So, what are our plans for today?" He looked at the clock and it was already past ten; they had to find something to do to pass the time on Christmas Day or else he was going to go stir crazy. He had already been stuck inside this house for what felt like eons, and he was starting to get restless. At least he had something to do tomorrow when the diner opened back up. Rachel would be gone and things would go back to whatever kind of normal was possible here in Michigan. For some reason, the idea didn't console him as much as it should have.

"Well, I wanted to have dinner ready early, seeing as we have a big morning ahead of us tomorrow and I wanted to have ample time to clean and pack and get ready for my trip." She was purposefully avoiding eye contact with him, he could tell. Her voice sounded neutral enough, but she was clutching onto his necklace like her life depended on it. "So we can eat dinner by six and then spend the rest of the evening watching Christmas movies on TV. The tow truck guy said he would be here early, so we should get to bed at a reasonable hour."

"Rachel. . ." She was starting to babble, and Finn knew that something was wrong.

"And your boss is going to be back tomorrow as well, so you need as much rest as possible. . ."

"Rachel. . ."

"I hope there isn't a lot of traffic, seeing as it's the day after Christmas. . ."

"Rachel!" He was able to stop her rambling but she still wouldn't make eye contact with him. He watched as two twin trails of tears started to fall and she ducked her head to hide them, which made his heart lurch in his chest painfully. This was not how he wanted to spend his Christmas, but where Rachel was concerned, he barely ever got what he wanted.

"What do you want me to say, Finn?" She finally met his gaze and part of him wished she hadn't. Nothing was worse than watching Rachel cry, especially when there was nothing he could do about it. "I'm going to miss you, okay? I know I messed up, and I know we've said and done some things to each other that we can't ever take back, but that doesn't mean I still don't care about you."

He tried to cough and clear out his throat to speak, but nothing came out of his mouth except a hoarse, "I know." There were so many other things he wanted to say, but his mouth wouldn't form the words and his throat was suddenly parched. He had to practically choke out his response, and saying the words aloud made his stomach clench. "I still care about you too, Rachel." Admitting it was like a wrecking ball to his emotional defenses and he was feeling too vulnerable to be around her.

He still didn't move, though.

"But you know what, Finn? You've inspired me, in a way." She added while she wiped the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve, trying to change to a lighter topic. "When I get home to Lima, I'm going to make a big change." An ambitious glint entered her eyes and Finn got a flashback to the Rachel he had met so long ago, the one who wouldn't let anyone or anything get in the way of her stardom. He couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm.

"Oh really? What kind of change?"

"I don't know yet!" She squeaked, enthusiastically. "Something huge, though. Something life changing." She waved her hands in the air for emphasis and her enthusiasm was infectious. "You're not the only person who can flip their life around and start fresh. I think that's the perfect New Year's resolution for us both, don't you think?"

"What is?" Her bouncing around on the couch was a tad distracting.

"A fresh start, silly. You're going to try to make it on your own here, and I'm going to focus all of my energies on becoming a star." She looked him dead in the eye with a determination that was almost scary, and he wished that there was some way that he he could bottle her ambition and sell it to the highest bidder. "You believe I can do it, right Finn?"

He didn't even have to hesitate in his answer. "Of course I do, Rachel. You know I'll always be your biggest fan."

She stared at him for a while without saying anything, and for a moment he thought he might have had something on his face that he tried in vain to wipe off. She chuckled softly at his actions and shook her head. "You don't know how much that means to me, Finn. Thank you." She reached over and grabbed one of his hands in hers and squeezed softly while Finn's skin tingled at the contact. When she let go, she stood up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen, humming a tune while he stared down at his hands, deep in thought.

She was ready to find some kind of future for herself that didn't involve him, just like he had been trying to do here in Michigan. He should be happy for her. He knew she was more than capable of succeeding as well; no one had the drive or the ambition that Rachel had, and he was happy that he was serving as some kind of inspiration for her progress.

Something just wasn't sitting right with him, though.

He couldn't explain it; the feelings that were conflicting in his head were too confusing to sort out. He'd been so messed up over her for so long. He'd done so many things to try to get away from her; to try to escape her presence and the way she made him feel. Now she was finally leaving, and saying things like "fresh start" and "life-changing" and to be honest, he was a bit jealous. She made it look so easy, when he was still struggling with whether or not he was making the right choice. She was always so confident no matter what she did, and he was always a few steps behind, always doubting himself, never knowing what was going to happen and just hoping that things turned out right.

Not anymore. He was going to take this "fresh start" thing seriously and take control of his life from now on. After today he had no more distractions to worry about, and he was going to focus on making 2011 the best year ever.

When he finally snapped out of his daze he noticed that Rachel had retreated into the kitchen, and he got up to check if she needed any help. He leaned on the door-frame to the dining room and saw her prepare their lasagna with the sauce she had made the night before. She caught him staring at her and her cheeks erupted into a soft blush that made her skin glow. The words bubbled out of his lips before he had the chance to filter them.

"I'm going to miss you too, you know?" She stopped piling the pasta and vegetables and gave Finn a disbelieving look from across the kitchen.

"I highly doubt it." She murmured with a scoff. "You can't wait to get rid of me."

"That's not true." He said quickly, and her right eyebrow perked up in surprise. "I mean, yeah we've been stuck together fighting for the past few days and you did cheat on me and I ran away from home and stuff. . ." He was suffering from a severe case of verbal diarrhea and he could tell she was losing patience. "But that doesn't mean I don't care. I gave you your Christmas present when I didn't have to, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did." Agreeing softly with him, she ducked her head down and tried to focus on her work while he just stood there, feeling like an idiot. He opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, drinking deeply to cover the awkwardness he felt in the small kitchen. "You know, seeing as it's Christmas and all, I was contemplating on what I could give to you as a present, seeing as you gave me this lovely necklace and I have nothing for you in return."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Rachel. You're making dinner and you tried to put together a nice holiday for me. That's more than enough." He said as he took another sip of water an she stared at him nervously before speaking.

"I think we should have sex tonight."

The water came spitting out of his mouth as he coughed wildly, almost choking as he gasped for air. In his peripheral vision he saw her wince and shuffle around nervously as he tried to control his breathing.

"What did you just say?" He practically roared.

"Just, here me out, because I've thought about this a lot over the past few days and I can explain myself perfectly if you just let me."

"Oh, believe me, I cannot wait to hear this."

"I wasn't kidding when I said I was saving myself for you. I am thoroughly convinced, right down to the depths of my heart, that you are the only person who I feel comfortable with and trust enough to have sex with for my first time." His head was practically spinning with every syllable that was coming from her mouth and he had to hold onto the counter-tops to steady himself. "I want it to be you, Finn. I've always wanted it to be you. After tomorrow we might never have another chance, and I want it to be the most special gift I could ever give you. I want it to be the last thing we share together before we go our separate ways."

"Rachel, that is one of the craziest things I have ever heard you say, and you once tried to put on a production of Cats with only cats." She could not be serious about this!

"Finn, please." There was something desperate in her voice that made him pause, and he stopped thinking about how crazy the idea was and started to think about her rationale behind it. Hadn't he been trying to get into her pants for the better part of a year? Now she was practically begging him to have sex with her and he thought she was the crazy one? "I just want to share this one last thing with you, and then I won't have any regrets. You can move on, and I can move on, and we'll always have these few days in Michigan." She walked up to him and her presence was wreaking havoc on his defenses as her eyes were begging him to understand. Her eyes were liquid with tears and his desire to finally do the deed with her was too overwhelming to ignore. His body was already burning up just thinking about it, and he nodded his head softly while he choked out a reply.

"Alright." Gritty like gravel, he could barely recognize his own voice as she gasped softly.

"Really?" She asked with a small voice and he cursed how vulnerable and weak she made him feel.

"Yeah, but let's get through with dinner first before we start planning dessert." It was a weak attempt at making a joke or trying to be flirty whatsoever, but she smiled anyway and tried in vain to contain the excitement that was practically bursting from the seams. She went back to work while he stood there in awe, trying to busy himself with anything that would distract him from the promise he'd just made.

Because he'd just promised to fuck his ex-girlfriend and that definitely did not sound like moving on.

Cause baby you can see

that the gazing eye won't lie

Don't give up your lover tonight

Cause it's just you, me and this wire, alright

Let's tend to the engine tonight

Look out

The rest of the afternoon passed by very slowly; Rachel must have looked at the clock about a hundred times that afternoon and time just did not want to hurry up for her at all whatsoever. Didn't the fates understand that she was finally going to have sex tonight? She wished time would move faster already.

She smiled into her casserole dish as she served up the food she had been preparing since yesterday. All of her bags were packed for the morning and she had already laid out the outfit she was going to be wearing tomorrow so she could focus on tonight. She called Finn into the kitchen so he could help her set up the table, and he purposefully avoided eye contact with her as he took the casserole plate from her hands. She frowned softly but refused to let it bother her. Finn had been acting like this all afternoon; ever since he'd made the promise to sleep with her, she could tell that something was wrong.

Maybe he was regretting his promise? Maybe he didn't want to go through with it? She didn't want to distract herself with those kinds of thoughts, but if he was having doubts then she knew that he would never go through with it. They would have to figure out that stuff later though. Right now they had to eat the dinner she had been planning since yesterday and then they could focus on what Finn had referred to as dessert.

She blushed deeply just thinking about it, and sat down at the table trying to cover up the excitement and anxiousness she was currently feeling. She looked up at Finn and he was trying to look anywhere but up as he served himself some food. When it was finally time to start eating, she lifted up her glass of water for a toast and Finn finally looked her in the eyes for the first time all day. The emotions she saw there were too complex to try to figure out, and she felt her face grow hotter as his gaze turned more and more predatory.

Maybe he wasn't having second guesses about tonight.

She cleared her throat and made a simple toast. "To us. I hope we both kick 2011 in the proverbial tush." He smiled softly and clinked her glass.

"Cheers." He said simply, before she turned her attention to the food. She could still feel his heavy gaze on her and she tried to calm her racing heartbeat. If that was how he made her feel before dinner, she wondered what things would be like after dinner.

They ate their meal in amicable silence but there was an undeniable energy hovering around them that couldn't be ignored. They both stole glances at one another throughout dinner, and Rachel couldn't keep her mind off of what they were going to do as the clock decided then to speed up and push time forward.

Dinner was over a lot quicker than she'd imagined it, and the energy became much heavier now that they both knew that there was nothing holding them back. Rachel took the dishes into the kitchen to clean up, and Finn followed behind her, helping her put away the utensils and staring holes into her back. When the cleaning was finished they stood in the kitchen for an awkward minute, just waiting for the other persona to make a move. Her heart started to pound in her chest as he took a few steps closer to her, and as he tried to reach out an arm towards her she freaked out and took two steps backwards.

"I'll be right back!" She squeaked before she escaped into the bathroom to calm down. She didn't even wait to see his reaction as she bailed.

She stood in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection like it could give her all the answers she wanted. Why was she freaking out? Hadn't this been her idea? She might have been a virgin, but Finn had sex with Santana last year. . .Santana-freaking-Lopez of all people! Santana has had sex with almost every boy in school, and there was no way that she was going to compare to her as far as sex was concerned. She tried to shake the frightening idea that she was bad in bed out of her mind and focus on the now.

It was just sex. No strings attached, I-trust-you-so-help-me-lose-my-virginity, sex. She knew this wasn't going to solve all their problems, and she wasn't trying to sleep with him so he would fall back in love with her or anything, she just wanted it to be with him. It was the reason why she couldn't do it with Jesse or Puck or anyone else she might be able to move on with in the future. It had to be Finn, and this was her last chance.

So she took a deep breath, fluffed up her hair to make it look voluminous and sexy, and took off her reindeer sweater and skirt folding them up and putting them to the side. Standing in the bathroom in just a camisole and panties, she knew that this was it.

She was ready.

She exited the bathroom and Finn was no longer in the kitchen, but the lights had been turned off except for the decorations, leaving the living area bathed in a colorful glow. The colors danced along her skin as she walked down the hallway to Finn's bedroom, and the door was left slightly ajar as soft light poured into the hallway. Her heart was pounding in her chest like a bass drum, and she was sure Finn could hear it as she pushed the door open and entered the foreign room.

He turned around when he heard her enter, and she stood by the door in awe as she took in the sight of him in only a pair of jeans; the lip of his boxers were poking out from the waist and she had never seen him without a shirt on. The one time they had gone swimming over the summer he had worn a t-shirt into the water, now he was standing in front of her bare chested and she couldn't stop staring. And she thought only women could be objectified.

He didn't say a thing as he walked up to her, and she could feel his eyes on every inch of her body. His normally soft brown eyes were practically glowing as he looked her up and down, and she could feel her body grow hot under his stare. He hadn't even touched her yet and she was already feeling lightheaded.

He closed the distance between them and placed one of his hands on her bare shoulders while her skin sizzled at the contact. In return, she placed a hand on his naked torso and enjoyed the hitch of breath she'd heard, feeling powerful. Feeling more bold than she ever thought possible, she let the hand trail lower, until it was almost resting on his belly-button and his eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his skull.

"Rachel," he choked out in a low tone. "Are you sure about this?"

"I've never been more positive in my life." She knew it was true as the words came out of her mouth, but Finn looked like he needed more convincing. "It's just sex, Finn. It's not going to change anything between us, but it has to be with you. I know what I'm doing. I want this."

He didn't look convinced but he nodded his head solemnly while Rachel took his hand and led him to the bed. They kind of just sat there for a minute, not moving or saying anything. In fact, they could barely look one another in the eye, they were both so nervous. It's not like Rachel really knew what to do, and she finally turned to him to place an awkward kiss on his lips.

She could tell that he was surprised when she finally kissed him, but they had to start somewhere, and after a tense moment they both melted into the kiss and a heady feeling washed over her as they laid down on the bed. She was nervous, but the more he kissed her, the less she worried about it. Their bodies pressed together on the bed and the feeling of skin on skin was making every part of her body tingle uncontrollably, and she gasped when she felt his hand caress the side of her breast. Sure, he had touched her there before, but this just felt so different. Every touch, every feeling he elicited in her was infinitely more intense than when they'd been fooling around in their bedrooms in Lima. She became more confident with every sigh and moan that escaped his lips as she let her hands brush over the skin of his torso, too nervous to go anywhere lower. When her leg brushed up against something hot and hard through his jeans, she realized just exactly what she had gotten herself into, and almost chickened out completely.

"Are you okay?" He asked her softly after she'd stopped kissing him, and she could feel her face grow hot with embarrassment. If she could barely brush her leg against his crotch without getting uptight about it, how was she going to go through with this?

"Um, yeah. I think so." The uncertainty was clear in her voice and he removed his hands from her breast. She missed the contact instantly as her body burned for more.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea." He started to sit up and she knew she was losing him. She sat up quickly and held onto his arm, keeping him where she wanted him to be.

"No, Finn. Please, I'm just nervous. I don't really know what to do next."

He looked at her softly in the dim light of the room and he reached over to shut off the remaining light, leaving them both in the dark. She couldn't see where he was, but she could feel him all around her, and the lack of light was making her feel less conscious of what was going on and more conscious of how she was feeling inside.

She could feel his body moving closer to her, until their sides were molded against one another and she breathed in his scent as she tried to relax.

"Just relax, Rachel." He whispered into her ear as his hand started to trail down her midriff and even lower towards her legs. Her body felt like it was melting and all she could do was trust Finn to treat her right. "I'll take care of everything." His hands rested in-between her legs and he cut-off her gasp with a deep kiss as she rescinded all control and lost herself in Finn Hudson.

It couldn't yet be morning, she thought, as she opened her eyes to the blackness of the room. It was completely quiet as she rolled over onto her side and exposed a naked breast in the chilly air, reminding her of her state of undress. She grabbed the comforter and wrapped it around her tightly as she tried to figure out what time it was, and she tried her hardest not to wake up her sleeping lover, who was currently snoring like a beast next to her, undisturbed.

She couldn't help but smile as she go flashbacks to the night before. Finn had been so gentle and patient with her last night that it almost brought a tear to her eye just thinking about it. She never knew that anyone could feel as good as Finn had made her feel, and she was drowning in the memories of last night as she tried to search for her clothes in the dark. It had been so mind-blowing that she had fallen asleep almost immediately after, so she knew it had to be extremely early, seeing as the sun hadn't even risen yet.

She searched around the dark room for her panties and camisole, and slipped them on before stepping out of the room to use the bathroom. She was a tad achy, but she thought the pain had definitely been worth it. It was so much more than she had ever imagined and she replayed the most memorable events with a deep blush as she used the bathroom and tidied herself up. The clock in the hallway informed her that it was 5:45 am, and she knew that Finn probably wouldn't be up for hours, even though she was already wide awake.

It wasn't until she stepped out of the bathroom and saw her luggage waiting for her by the front door when she snapped back into the present, and her blissful morning was now ruined once she was faced with the reality of her situation.

She had to leave today. In mere hours, she would be gone and Finn would be out of her life forever.

How could she forget about that little detail? Last night had been so amazing, so mind-blowing, that it was hard to face the fact that it was a one-time deal. She had gone into it knowing that it was supposed to be completely platonic, but somewhere along the way it became very personal. They were supposed to be having sex, but to Rachel she couldn't help but think that they had made love. The way he'd held her, the kisses they'd shared, the patience he'd demonstrated. Whatever feelings she had been able to tamper down before last night were now multiplied a hundred-fold.

She'd screwed this up, big time.

What was going to happen when he woke up? She couldn't bear to see him dismiss last night like it was nothing when to her it had changed everything. How was she going to be able to say goodbye and agree to a fresh start when she was just reminded of everything she had lost?

How could she pretend to move on when she now knew how much she still loved him?

A loud noise coming from outside startled her out of her trance and she looked out of the window to see a giant truck pulling into the parking lot. Attached to the back of it was the outline of a familiar SUV, and Rachel rushed to get her coat and shoes on to meet the tow-man. She carefully descended the stairs and met the man by the front entrance of the diner.

"Good morning, miss. I wanted to personally get this to you first thing in the morning, seeing as you were all torn up about it the other day. Just write down your billing information and we'll send you the invoice." Rachel gave the man her father's address and phone number and signed for the release of the car. He handed over the keys to her and they felt like bricks in her hand. She stared at the keys with a deep frown while the serviceman returned to his truck, and she gripped them tightly in her fist while she returned back to the apartment.

Upon entering the house she immediately grabbed her suitcase and dragged it downstairs to put it in the SUV. She went over every single inch of the apartment, making sure she didn't leave any of her possessions lying around anywhere, and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen to scribble a note for Finn to find.

She had been campaigning for them to both have a fresh start, but last night had undone any progress she had made in getting over him. How stupid she was to think that sex with Finn would be platonic at all whatsoever! She probably wasn't even any good at it, and she couldn't face Finn knowing how badly she'd messed things up between them. A clean break was the only option she had left, and she wrote out a note that was filled with nothing but apologies. Apologies for chasing him away. Apologies for coming after him. Apologies for pushing them to have sex.

She couldn't even keep track of what she had to be sorry for anymore.

She left the note on the counter and said a silent goodbye to Finn before she left the house. As she drove back to Lima on the empty highway, her only companions were the sun rising above the horizon, and the emptiness she felt now that Finn was out of her life forever.

She didn't start crying until she hit the Ohio border.

Salut mes amis!

Only a few more chapters in this one, kiddos! What will Finn do when he wakes up to find Rachel gone?

Song lyrics from NARC, by Interpol (my favorite song from my favorite band)

Until next time, sings . . .Don't Stop. . .Reviewing!

Merci Mille Fois