Okay, guys! I've just now noticed that aside from the last chapter, I haven't updated in so long, that the story isn't even highlighted anymore. (well, NOW it is, but it wasn't before.) That's really bad, and I'mr really sorry.
Logan held Carlos tight as the adults argued outside in the hall. From as far as he can tell, they were discussing what to do with him. No matter how badly he wanted to just go back home, it was painfully apparent that wasn't an option. Words couldn't begin to describe the nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach as the words "foster care" and "orphanage" wafted through the door frame. The all too welcome feeling of relief washed over him as his friends' houses were brought up. Now they were debating who was going to take him in.
Suddenly, Logan became very aware of Carlos staring up at him, fidgeting in his arms. "I don't like your mommy, Logie," he said very quietly, chewing a bit on his bottom lip. Mr. Garcia had sat him outside and explained everything to him earlier, and Logan was really hoping that they weren't going to have to have this conversation, but it was clear that they did. He squirmed uncomfortably under the Latino's gaze. "Why would she hurt you?" If Carlos hadn't been on top of him, Logan would have thrown up right then and there. He gulped, his mouth running dry, and he tried to quell the nauseous feeling rushing over him.
"I wasn't a good boy," he answered, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. Carlos looked up at him with wide eyes, and Logan felt dirty. He was humiliated. He had been naughty, he hadn't been perfect, and now the world was finding out. What were his friends supposed to think when he had to admit how horrible he was? How he was worthless enough for his mom to beat him. Would realization dawn on them, and they'd hate him, too? He looked to Carlos for an answer.
"But... you are a good boy," he said, incomprehension gleaming in his eyes. "You're smart, and nice, and fun, and you're the fastest runner on the playground, and you don't do anything bad in class, and you pay attention, and the teacher's never called your mommy on you. My daddy says you're a very good boy and I should be more like you, so how come your mom was nice to me, but mean to you?" he asked innocently. Logan sighed, the weight of the world shifting down even harder on his shoulders, practically crippling him.
"I don't know, Carlos," he said, hating how tired he sounded. Carlos, luckily, stopped asking questions and fell silent, thinking things over. The adults voices once again filled the room, their tone mellowing. Suddenly, when their volume was finally too low to make out any words, the door burst open, a timid James and concerned Kendall coming in. The blond quickly rushed over to him, grabbing his hand. Meanwhile, James had his hand in his mom's, dragging her toward his bed as if Logan was gonna send him away any second. His cheeks painted red and he looked to his toes. Mrs. Diamond goaded him on.
"Logan?" He came over, fiddling with his sheets. Logan watched him carefully, worried with what he might say. James was the confident one, and it was weird to seem him look so uncertain. He feared for the worst, figuring this was the end. At least he could say he saw it coming. He waited with baited breath as he continued. "Would you like to live at my house with me?"
Logan double-taked. His jaw was definitely on the floor, and he looked from Mrs. Diamond to James in disbelief. James... James wanted to live with him? But... that was impossible! Of all his friends, Logan was the most sure that James would hate him after learning everything. After all, he was so disgusted when he saw his house, and he had acted especially weird around him after learning he didn't have a dad. Logan was overcome. He felt the tears welling in his eyes, long past caring if they spilled or not. He nodded his head mutely, words caught in his throat. James plastered a real, real, cheeky smile on his face, and Logan practically died on the spot. He'd never been happier to have his best friends with him in his life, and the best part? He wasn't hiding anything.
"Awesome!" he chirped, jumping up and down, all signs of nervousness gone. "We can go shopping, and play games, and our cook will make all your favorite foods! What's your favorite?" he asked, eyes lit up and bright. Logan bit his lip, unsure. He only got a cheese sandwiches at school cause they were free, and he never really got anything else. James face fell, and Logan knew he must look pathetic. He was pathetic. What kid didn't even have a favorite food? A favorite anything? James's smile flickered back as he blew it off. "We'll just do whatever you want, okay Logan?" He nodded, feeling the blush heat up in his cheeks.
As James chattered on about other things they'd do, Logan noticed Kendall looking at him very seriously. Logan sent up a prayer in thanks as James died down, clearly noticing the tension in the room. Kendall frowned. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked, and Logan couldn't even contemplate himself how tired he was of questions. He was extremely happy Mrs. Diamond had walked out of the room when she saw James didn't need her, as it was awkward enough with the people closest to him, let alone his soon-to-be mom.
"I don't know..." he trailed off. A quick glance to Kendall proved that he wasn't going to take that as an answer. Logan sighed. He'd been defeated so many times today, what was another to the mix? At this point, he couldn't possibly sink any lower. He fought the urge to sink into his mattress and disappear, and answered, "I thought you'd hate me." Guilt played with him as he caught sight of all three of this friends' horrified faces. As if it wasn't enough to have one of them upset with him. Carlos was the first to recover.
"Logie, why would we hate you?" he asked, his tone too bright for the situation. At this point, Logan would be completely thrilled with crawling into a good-sized hole to die. For most people, the question he had just been asked would throw them off, they wouldn't know what to answer. Logan, however, had the luxury of thinking about just this thing near constantly, and didn't have to worry about scraping around for an answer. If there was anything truly off-putting about responding to Carlos, it would have to be how his friends were going to react. It didn't matter how he sugar-coated it, it would still mean the same, so he just came out with it.
"Cause my momma does," he said straightly, not bothering to get emotional about it. No, that would be pointless. He hadn't gotten teary-eyed about it before, and he certainly wasn't going to start now. He had enough to get worked up over, and this was not going to be one of those things. He felt Kendall's thumb rubbing his hand, and he pulled away, trying to prove he didn't need the comfort.
"Logan, we'd never hate you for something like that," Kendall said, and Logan couldn't help but notice the maturity held in the blonde's voice, despite coming from just a fifth grader. Logan closed his eyes and bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear that he was being dumb and wrong for three years. He didn't want to know that, at any time, he could have ended everything and it would be okay. That it would work out like this.
It could have been over whenever he wanted. That killed. Looking back to all the opportunities where he held back just because of those "what if"s that filled his mind, each where he could have told all. It made him sick. He clutched onto Carlos, still holding onto him, and nodded.
"I know," he whispered.
See? Again with this. SHORT! Dang it... They just FEEL done, you know? Whatever... I figured the Garcias had too many kids, and the Mrs. Knight was on a waitress salary with two kids, so... yeah. I went with the Diamonds to take Logan in.