DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. All publicly owned characters and/or plot do not belong to me. I'm just playing with them. Willow Jamison is mine.

Chapter 11

"She's been medically cleared, Agent Ward. She's proven she's an asset to the team, and her training with you has been like nothing I've ever seen. She's ready. Why are you holding back?" Coulson questioned.

"Sir…it's just that…."

"She's not Skye. History is not repeating itself, Ward. Would you rather I send her out with Agent May on her first mission?"

Ward's stomach lurched.

"Of course not, I'm her SO. I should be there." Because no matter how much he trusted Agent May, he needed to be there to make sure she stayed smart and safe. "And believe me I know she's not Skye."

"Good, then it's settled. Let everyone know we touch down in two hours." Coulson nodded reassuringly before exiting the room.

Ward blew out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and came to the conclusion that he really needed to get his shit together. Willow…Agent Jamison was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. She knew what she signed up for, but that truth hadn't stopped his new nightmares. The fear of another person getting hurt on his watch was more than he could stomach. Coulson may not have seen it as history repeating itself, but Ward did—and he hated it.

He was jarred from his thoughts as Willow poked her head in.

"Hey you! Are we training today or…" Her smile was bright and he wished he could forget the world and stare at it forever. How could she always be so happy?

"No…actually." He cleared his throat.

"But…I enjoy getting my ass kicked soooo much!" She frowned playfully.

"Well then, you won't mind that Coulson has recruited you for your first mission."

"He….wait….seriously?" Her face lit up.

"Yep. Full gear. We land in less than two hours. We'll meet in mission control in one hour to be briefed." He explained.

"You'll be there, right?" She bit her lip nervously. "I mean, I can handle it, I just-"

"I'd never let you face your first mission alone."

"Awesome. At least I know you won't allow me to screw up too bad." She laughed. "I'll meet you there." She headed to leave.

"Hey Willow."

"Yeah?" She asked turning on her heel.

"You can do this."

"I know. I've had a great mentor." Her cheeks flushed as she smiled and then she was gone. Ward was left alone again to his restless thoughts. She could do this- it was himself he needed to convince.

"Coms check." Agent May called out. Everyone sounded off as they checked their weapons and prepared to land. "Now remember, we get in, Fitz disarms the bomb, we get out. This is purely a terrorist neutralization operation."

Willow nodded in understanding. Her heart was thumping out of her chest, but she was ready. All her preparation had been for this very moment, and she was determined to succeed.

The group split up pairing off, Hunter and Bobbi, Agent May and Director Coulson, she and Ward were together and Mack would be following up the rear with Fitz once they had paved a clear path for the scientist.

It was chaotic from the moment they reached the interior of the steel building. Someone had sounded some obnoxiously blaring alarms once they determined the arrival of intruders and there were strobe lights flashing in the dimly lit hallways. Willow could hear voices up ahead shouting in German and she clutched her icer, preparing for anything.

"Three hostiles. Male. Armed." Ward called out to her. Suddenly there was gunfire and they dodged into a doorway. She could hear the sound of boots hitting the concrete floor. She counted the number of times they connected just like she'd been taught at the academy and she knew Ward was right about there being three. Ward held up a finger, signaling her to wait for his command. When the men were close enough he moved out, shooting two of them immediately. The third man raised his gun to shoot at him and Willow instinctively kicked it from his hand with perfect accuracy. He turned on her and she shot him with her icer in the chest. Her eyes locked on Wards and he nodded at her in reassurance.

"We've cleared the west wing, but we heard over an enemy radio that they are sending all units to the south side." Bobbi called out over the coms.

"They're going to try and detonate the bomb." Ward surmised. "Looks like we're up."

"We'll meet you there." Coulson said with a grunt. "Just handling….a few….friendly guests here."

Ward and Willow took off running toward the direction of the small reactor, but quickly realized they were outnumbered and outgunned ten to one.

"I'm bringing Fitz now. Simmons put the quinjet on autopilot-there were too many soldiers to stay on the ground." Mack radioed. "We've got to move fast."

"No go. There are at least twenty hostiles guarding the reactor." Ward stated, surveying the large room.

Willow whistled quietly getting Ward's attention. She pointed to another walkway on the upper level that would give them the higher ground, but she would have to cross over a thin row of scaffolding to reach a safe defensive position, which was debatable because it would literally be on top of the outside of the reactor.

"No way-that's suicide. We wait for back up." He warned.

"We both know there isn't time for back up." She protested. "They're going to detonate that bomb any minute and we'll all be dead anyway. I can make it."

His jaw clenched as he weighed her words. As much as he wanted to say no, he knew she was right, and she was the lighter of the two of them or he'd go himself.

"You make quick work of that scaffolding, you hear me? I'll cover you, but so help me God if you think you're dying today—"

Before he could even finish his sentence she was on the move. He watched as she expertly took the stairs two at a time, moving quiet and cat-like. So far she hadn't gained the attention of any soldiers below, but he watched them carefully—ready to shoot anyone that threatened her. She made it to the scaffolding that now looked more like a metal tight-rope act, but she had no fear as she took the first step. She wobbled for a moment gaining her balance and Ward's pulse raced with worry-it would only take one wrong step and she'd fall thirty feet to her death. Once she was steady on her feet, she moved methodically across the pole and the minute her feet landed on surface of the reactor housing she got into a defensive crouch. Once she was ready, they began picking them off with icer rounds one by one. It didn't take long for the soldiers to realize they were under attack and they began firing back—only their rounds weren't meant to stun, but kill. Ward, being on the ground was the first target they came for and he made quick work of two of them, using one as a human shield before shooting the other. Two more approached him but quickly fell to the ground thanks to Willow. At that point there were only six left and the other agents had started arriving. Agent May put down the two more of them with expert grace and ease, while Bobbi and Hunter each took one. The last two men took off running.

"I've got them." Ward called out taking off at full sprint. About halfway down the narrow hallway he caught up to the fleeing enemies. Using the butt of his gun, he slammed it hard into the back of the first man's head and he dropped with a thud and Ward put and icer round in his chest. The second man attacked him from behind, his arm buried deep under Ward's chin choking him. Ward used his strength to flip him forward over his shoulders, his grip loosening as he hit the ground. He moved to grab a gun from his waist but Ward kicked him in the face as hard as he could, knocking him out. Not taking any chances that he might get away to alert more enemy forces, he iced him for good measure.

He made his way back to the team to help defend Fitz while he disarmed the bomb, but in his short absence, there had been a new wave of hostiles and the team was once again greatly outnumbered.

Taking a second gun out of his holster, now firing with one in each hand with expert precision he called out to Fitz. "Talk to me Fitz."

"Two minutes. That's all I need." Fitz replied as he intently stared at the gigantic bundle of wires in front of him.

"Make it one."

A bullet ricocheted inches from Fitz's head, but Willow was on it. She had climbed back down to the lower level and landed a head kick to a man's jaw, rendering him immediately unconscious. Ward made a mental note to avoid her kicks in training—they were deadly. She perched herself directly in front of Fitz, holding off anyone that dared to get near the engineer. The team had effectively taken the room back when Fitz finally called out that he was finished.

"Alright, time to pack it up ladies and gents. Let's get out of here." Coulson called out.

They began making their way to the extraction point where Agent Simmons was waiting with the quinjet. As they made it out of the building, there was an ambush of enemy soldiers from both sides of them and the team opted to make a run for it. Everything that happened next was a blur as there was a loud scream for Fitz to get down. Ward watched everything in seemingly slow motion as Willow plowed into Fitz knocking him out of the way, but her body fell impossibly hard to the ground and she wasn't moving to get up.

"Willow!" Fitz yelled out, scrambling to her. "Help! Someone help!"

"No." Ward stated in shock. "NO!" He screamed out hoarsely, his body was moving, running as fast as his legs would carry him. "No no no!" He kept repeating over and over as if that would somehow change the outcome.

"She…she saved me! They shot her!" Fitz shouted over the gunfire and yelling.

"Get to the jet! NOW!" Ward ordered, scooping up Willow's bloody lifeless body off the pavement. "C'mon Willow. Stay with me!"

He ran faster than he had ever run in his life.

"SIMMONS!" He yelled. "Simmons please!" His voice was pleading, desperate and he didn't even care. He would beg if he had to. Agent Simmons and Coulson were waiting to help get her laid flat onto the emergency stretcher as the hatch to the quinjet closed behind them and Agent May took over piloting, getting them out of enemy territory.

All Ward could see was blood. It was all over her face and torso and the panic that overtook him was more than the agent could handle.

It took Hunter and Mack both to remove him from the area so that Simmons could have space to work. By the time they'd gotten back to the BUS they had threatened to sedate him if he couldn't calm down. Once they were convinced he wasn't going to completely lose his shit, they allowed him to sit outside the med pod with his back to the wall, waiting for any news. Fitz sat with him in silence, clearly just as shaken that Willow had saved his life and was now fighting for hers.

After what felt like hours, Jemma finally approached them giving them both a look of pity. Ward suddenly felt like he could throw up.

"She's going to be just fine. It's all going to be alright." She smiled softly at the pair.

"She…she's okay?" He questioned hoarsely, not sure he could trust his own ears.

"How bad is it?" Fitz asked, both men standing.

"She took a pretty nasty bullet to the arm, and has a slight concussion-but she's going to heal up nicely. Agent Ward, you can go and see her if you'd like. I need to take her blood samples to the lab to make sure all is well there, but she's awake for now."

That was all Ward needed to hear to move to the doorway. She was laying on the bed, her arm bandaged and several stitches across her temple. She was pale and her eyes were closed, but they slowly opened when he entered.

"You look like someone kicked your puppy."

Ward winced at the reference, triggering a flashback to his dog named Buddy that John had made him shoot when he was a teenager, but he dismissed it quickly.

"Worse actually. Someone shot my trainee." He grimaced, sitting down in the chair beside her bed, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Your trainee sucks."

"No way. Well….sometimes-mostly when she back talks me. Otherwise she's pretty awesome." He winked, earning a sleepy smile from her.

"Even though she screwed up her first mission?" Willow murmured.

"You saved Fitz's life. He'd be dead right now if it weren't for you." Ward swallowed hard thinking about what kind of grief it would cause to lose anyone on the team.

"Speaking of him, you can let him know he makes the absolute worst landing pad. The least he could have done was let me rest my head on his chest like a decent human instead of letting my skull smash into the concrete."

"I'll be sure to tell him." Ward chuckled.

"No wait, on second thought don't tell him. I'll save some concussion jokes for the next time he makes fun of my cooking." Her eyelids drooped exhaustedly.

"Are you in any pain?" Ward asked softly, eyeing her bandaged arm, but thankful she was still in joking spirits.

"I'm good. Simmons gave me the good drugs after she stitched up my bullet wound. I think it's gonna leave a pretty cool scar."

"You scared the shit out of me today. I thought—"

"You thought I was Skye all over again. I know." Her eyes were closed now and her voice had a curious sadness to it. He hadn't mentioned Skye to her, maybe the others had, he wondered.

"I just can't go through that again." His voice was barely a whisper.

"You know I'm not her, right?"

"Of course."

"You sure about that?" She murmured, and his heart clenched. What was she trying to ask him?

"I'm positive." He breathed out, but by that point she was already fast asleep.

Reaching down he took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles gently, whispering to himself. "Because what I thought I felt for her doesn't even hold a candle to you…..and I cannot survive that."