Chapter eleven
Tuesday at noon, an unexpected call came through to Bella as she sat in her classroom, going over essays that had been turned in before lunch.
"Edward?" Bella asked, confused, into the phone. "Aren't you in Finland?"
"No, right now I'm somewhere in Norway, up on the mountains somewhere. The snow is so deep that it would have swallowed you. They had to bring us in with a helicopter, but still, we had to walk for some time, skiing. I skied for the first time in my life and it was in the land of the skies as well," Bella laughed as Edward proudly told of her off his first time cross-country skiing.
"Isn't Norway almost twelve hours ahead of us?" Bella asked.
"It is: it's midnight here and we're about to hit the hay, but I had to talk to you," Bella's heart soared at his spoken words and her hormones, which were slowly catching up with her, and tears prickled her eyes.
"What do you want to talk about?" Bella whispered.
"I want to tell you I'm sorry for being so, well, rude at the hospital on Friday, for being late as well, but when I arrived at the hospital, I got a call about how I had to go to Finland. It made things difficult as I barely had time enough to reach the plane after your appointment."
"I understand that you don't have time to tell me everything, especially now that we don't live under the same rood, which is my own fault."
"I also wanted to talk about that," Bella bit her lip at the sound of Edward's voice, "But it can wait until our dinner next Saturday. I'm looking forward to it. How does seven sound like?"
"Sounds good," Bella smiled but her smile soon faded as the smell of her half-eaten tuna sandwich made stomach churn. "I have to go," she said quickly, hanging up and rushing to the closest bathroom.
After she was done emptying her stomach, Bella sat back on her heels and took a deep breath. The bathroom stalls at the school was clean yet they always smelled like any public bathroom.
"Bella, are you ok?" Bella turned to see Mrs. Cope standing behind her, looking rather worried.
"I'm fine," Bella smiled, getting to her feet.
"I think you should talk with Harold, dear," she says, giving Bella a pointed look.
"I know, but honestly, I'm a little scared: what will he say when I tell him?" Bella asked Mrs. Cope worriedly. "The same day he called me for the interview, I found out, but did I tell him when I met with him the first time? No, because I was too chicken and honestly, it didn't cross my mind. I've had more than enough times to tell him, but yet, I haven't."
"Dear, calm down," Mrs. Cope laughed as she led Bella out of the bathroom and down the hall towards Mr. Greene's office at the end of the building, third floor. "Harold is an understanding man and he will not take offence over the fact that you didn't tell. Just explain to him that you are in fact pregnant and when the baby is due. His lunch is over, so he should be in his office."
On the third floor, Bella knocked tentatively on Mr. Greene's door.
"Come in," his deep voice called from the other side. "Ah, Bella, what can I do for you?" he smiled, leaning back in his chair as Bella closed the door behind herself.
"I need to talk with you," she said, not bothering to jump back and forth.
"I gathered as much," he laughed and Bella couldn't help but laugh with him.
"I'm pregnant," Bella said after their laughter had died down, jumping straight to it, "And the thing is, I knew when I came in for the interview before Christmas."
"I see," Mr. Greene said in a calm voice, leaning his chin against the tips of his fingers of his folded hands. "Don't worry Bella, I'm not disappointed that you didn't tell me sooner, I'm rather happy for you and think congratulations are in hand."
"Thank you," Bella smiled, relieved.
"Besides, judging by your size, you can't be far along, which gives us plenty of time to figure out how we're going to solve this."
"Almost two months. My doctor isn't quite sure yet, though, when I'm due. Last time I asked, he was juggling between late July and late August."
"Plenty of time, indeed," Mr. Greene smiled. "In fact Bella, I'm glad you are pregnant as it helps me a little with a small problem."
*** C R S ***
"So, what are you making?" Paul asked, picking up the plates Bella had set out on the counter.
"I wanted to make him his favorite: jalapeno salmon, but just the thought of fish these days makes me sick. Instead, I decided to make his second favorite dish that doesn't involve fish: pepper steak with fried jalapenos."
"I didn't know you even liked spicy food," Paul commented as he straighten the table cloth Maggie had borrowed Bella and put the plates down so they would be facing each other.
"I don't, but I'm trying to win back my husband's heart after I so thoroughly shattered it," Bella sighed, arching her back as if it would relieve her of some pain.
"I don't think he's expecting you to slave in the kitchen all day to cook him all of his favorites, Bella," Paul laughed as he picked out two wine glasses, followed by the cutlery.
"God, I'm so stupid!" Bella suddenly yelled, throwing her wooden spoon at the wall. "If I had just said 'I love you' back at him, I wouldn't be standing in this stupid apartment, making dinner, but I would be lying on the couch at home with Edward, lounging all day, having sex and just being us. But no, I had to tell him that I don't know if I love him or not, I had to be stupid enough to actually purchase an apartment and move out!" tears streamed down her face and Paul wrapped his arms around her from behind, hugging her tightly to his body as he kissed the top of her head.
"Tell him tonight," he whispered in her hair before finishing setting the table for her.
Drying her tears with the sleeve of her sweater, Bella continued baking Edward's cake: brownie and cheesecake. It was the most delicious desert Bella knew of, one that Edward had introduced her to. It was cheesecake on top of a brownie bottom with raspberry cream. It was sweet and fruity at the same time, the perfect combination. However, it could sometimes be hell to make.
"What do Maggie and you have planned for the night?" Bella asked Paul after she had put the brownie in the oven.
"I'm telling you Bella, that woman is amazing," Paul sighed dreamily, "We've going to order a meat-lover and watch movies all night while drinking beer."
"It doesn't sound so special," Bella noted in confusion.
"No, but we're making a Valentines Day special by spending the whole night naked, and the rest of the weekend for that matter. She came up with this rule that whenever I get hard, I have to give her an orgasm and whenever she snorts while laughing, she have to give me a blow job."
"If she snorts while laughing?"
"Yeah, it was easier as it can be kind of hard to see if she's turned on," Paul shrugged, making Bella laugh.
At seven, Bella lit the candles in the living room and dimmed the lights, trying her best to make a romantic atmosphere without going overboard. The dinner was ready, sitting on warm plates under covers and the desert was in the oven on the lowest temperature to keep it from going cold, the raspberry cream in the fridge along with a bottle on none alcoholic sparkling wine.
The only thing that was missing was the guest himself.
Nervous, Bella paced the whole apartment, now and then going to her room to make sure that she had chosen the right dress. She remembered how he once had commented on how skin was against a dark midnight blue lingerie set and she figured that if he liked the color on her then, he would like it now in a dress.
With the belief that she had had little with time, Bella had only blow dried her hair and she hadn't bother doing anything else with it as it length was starting to become too much. It was heavy hanging down her back but it would also be heavy piled on top of her or twisted into a fancy chignon. With barely any makeup on, she had put on a pair of flats, just to complete the outfit.
Thirty minutes later, Bella had still to hear from Edward, the food gone cold and the candles almost burnt all the way down.
Around eight, Bella served herself a piece of cake, locked the door and went to her room, removing her dress and makeup before crawling into the bed with her laptop and the cake.
She felt rejected and hurt, but she pushed those feelings away as she settled into her bed with Under the Tuscan Sun on the screen.
*** C R S ***
"He didn't show up?"
"Nope."
"Not after your conversation last Tuesday where he claimed he was looking forward to it and wanted to talk with you?"
"No."
"Did he call? Text you? Anything?"
"Nothing."
"Did you call him?"
"No, I didn't."
"Do you want to?"
"Not really."
"For the love of God, Bella, show us some emotions!" Paul groaned, sick of her short answers.
"When I realized that he wasn't going to come, I felt rejected and hurt, even a little humiliated, though all those feelings washed as soon as I was curled up in bed with my cake and a good movie."
"You're a robot!" Paul exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air as he went to the kitchen for some cake.
"I'm pissed at him!" she called after him and she had to wait for him to get a piece of cake before she could see him grinning like a fool. "Are you happy?"
"I'm extremely happy," Paul kept grinning as he slumped into the sofa next to Maggie.
"I think you should talk with him," Maggie said, looking very adult and sensible with her glasses. "You should go back home, and I mean walk, and ask him why he was a no-show last night."
"You're right, I know, but I'm kind of dreading it," Bella confessed, "I'm a little scared of what he might tell me, especially since last night was supposed to be my night of confessions."
"All the more reason to do so: if you don't, you will worry sick over something you believe he will think and say, when it in the end, is probably 'I miss you' and 'I love you'."
Bella gave in to Maggie's reasoning and dressed in her best jeans, a warm sweater and wrapped herself in her coat and scarf before venturing out in the winter cold.
It was about a twenty minute walk from her apartment and to Edward's house, or their home: she wasn't sure if she were allowed to call it home when she didn't live there. Bella walked slowly in the lovely Sunday weather, enjoying but mostly because there was ice everywhere, a possible death trap for the clumsy Bella.
As she walked down their street and past Carlisle and Esme's house, Bella was overcomed by an intense longing to the street at how that street had changed her life in so many ways.
In front of the dark grey front door of the house she had lived in three weeks earlier, Bella hesitated to knock but she kicked herself mentally and knocked on the hard wood.
It wasn't Edward who answered the door, much to Bella's surprise and mortification.
"Kate?" Bella asked, not sure if the woman was really standing in front of her or if it was only a bad dream.
"What are you doing here, Bella?" Kate asked with a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"Kate, lunch is ready!" Edward's voice traveled through the house and to Bella's ears and for a second, she sees red.
Pushing Kate aside, Bella marched purposely through the house, towards the kitchen. About the round the corner and enter the kitchen she loved to much, she was almost knocked to the ground by Edward.
"Bella?" he asked confused, steadying her before she fell. Instead of answering him, Bella slapped him hard across the cheek, taking pleasure as his eyes widened.
"I came here because I wanted to talk with you, expecting you to be alone or with your parents for lunch, so you have to understand how surprised, and confused, I was when that harlot opened the door to my own home!" Bella screeched, ignoring the shout coming from Kate somewhere behind her.
A strong hand landed on her shoulder and Bella found herself face to face with a furious Kate.
"I dare you to call me that again," the woman growled manically before backhanding Bella with such a force that she stumbled to the floor.
Landing on her left hip, Bella knew it would leave a sizeable bruise on the pale skin.
"I want you out my house, Kate!" Edward ordered in calm voice.
"But Edward," Kate whined like a little child.
"I invited you to my house as a friend on this lovely Sunday, Kate, with a hope that I had someone I could entrust myself to, but I will never tolerate you hurting my wife!" Edward growled almost and Bella stared at him in amazement as he defended her.
From her spot on the floor, Bella watched Kate grab her coat and purse before disappearing out the door.
"Are you ok?" Edward asked, appearing in front of her to help her up from the floor.
"Yeah, she just took me by surprise," Bella confessed, rubbing her sore hip.
"Why are you here?" Edward demanded to know as soon he knew she was alright, taking a seat in his chair by the fire.
"I just wanted to know where you were last night," Bella said, gauging his sudden change of temper. "You never came."
"I was here."
"Why? I thought we agreed on dinner," Bella asked pleadingly, unable to hide the emotions from the night before. "I needed to talk with you."
"I know it already," Edward said in a calm voice, crossing his legs.
"I wanted to – how do you know?"
"Rose informed me."
"But I haven't talked with Rose other than her very short visit two weeks ago," Bella said confused, trying hard to remember if she had talked with anyone who could have told Rose, but she came up empty.
"You didn't have to tell her anything when he paraded around the apartment, proudly," Edward snapped harshly, making Bella balk.
"Parading around the apartment? I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you're talking about, Edward."
"I'm talking about how you've been fucking Paul!" Edward roared, getting to his feet, "I'm talking about the first thing you did as soon you were out of the house was to jump a man I've considered a close friend for a very long time."
Unable to control herself, Bella laughed, which only angered Edward further.
"I could never have sex with Paul," Bella said as she managed to control herself. The only attraction I feel towards him is platonic, friendly, like a good friend or even brother: there's absolutely no sexual attraction between the two of us."
"Then why was he parading around your apartment half naked?" Edward demanded to know, leaning down to meet Bella's eyes.
"Maggie," Bella murmured, unable to concentrate with Edward so close to her again. "They kind of christened his room with very annoyingly loud sex. Paul was just walking between the bathroom and his room when Rose was at the door," her breathing grew almost shallow as she breathed in his intoxicating smell again, her body reacting to it every way possible.
"Rose jumped to the wrong conclusion," Edward muttered, sitting back down in his chair, "I jumped to the wrong conclusion."
"Yeah," Bella agreed in a soft whisper, not sure what to say or expect of the bizarre situation.
"I'm so sorry, Bella," suddenly Edward was on his knees in front of her, holding her hands in his. "I should have trusted you to not cheat on me, yet I'm stupid enough to jump to the wrong conclusion as soon as I hear something."
"I'm the stupid one," Bella began, tears in her eyes, "If I had only stayed put, this dramatic outbreak would never had happened. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing, removing myself from your presence so I would remind you of how I didn't return your words of love. And I thought that it would be good for me to have a clear head while sorting through all my confusing thoughts, but all it's done so fare is make the need and longing for you stronger."
"Bella, I would rather hear you say 'I love you' when you're ready and mean it, not just to please me and not mean it," Edward told her softly with sad eyes.
"But I do love you," Bella insisted, "I've loved you for quite some time now but I haven't been able to put words on my feeling. Apartment from my parents, you are the only who have ever told me that you love me and all the feelings that came forth when you said those word, well, they only confused me as your love is different from the love my parents held for me."
"It's not that different," Edward laughed once, looking down at their hands. "All they wanted Bella, was for you to feel cherished, safe and loved, just like I want for you. They wanted you to feel important and needed, and I want that for you as well. I want to give you the world I would if I could, but I hope just me will suffice until I can give you the world."
"Edward Cullen," Bella breathed, "You are everything I ever wanted, I just didn't know I wanted it. But can you forgive me for being such an idiot?" she asked with pleading eyes.
"Say it one more time, and I will consider it."
"I love you," Bella whispered, the tears spilling down her cheeks.
"I believe I can forgive you, my little idiot," Edward smiled, "But I would like to give you a little punishment."
"Punishment?" Bella asked, her throat dry as all she could think of was sex.
"Yes: starting tomorrow, I want you to tell me that you love me at least five times a day, to the end of the week. Do you think you can do that?"
"I love you," Bella smiled and Edward laughed, hugging her close to him.