Jen had insisted on sending me home after dinner, refusing to let me drive. I had more or less calmed down after spending the day
with her, but as we turned into my neighborhood, my mood started to shift again. She seemed to sense it. "Crys, what's wrong? Is he
calling you again? I swear…"
"No, Jen. I turned my phone off earlier, you know that."
"Oh…so…"
I took a deep breath and sighed. My heart was racing. And as we pulled up in front of my apartment, I knew exactly why.
"Mark," I whispered.
"Is that…" Jen turned to me, her eyes wide with surprise.
"Yes. I turned my phone off," I repeated.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"I was supposed to call him," I continued, explaining to Jen. Her face dawned with understanding.
"Are you feeling up to it?" she asked, full of concern.
"Honestly, no."
"Then, do you want me to…"
"I don't think that's a good idea. He looks mad."
"Oh yes, he does."
We both sighed, then turned to look at each other, one warily, and the other full of grim determination. With a deep breath, I got out of
the car. Jen mouthed a 'good luck' to me through the window before driving away. Somehow, I knew that he was already standing
behind me. I slowly turned around to face him.
"Hi, Mark."
"What the hell is going on, Crystal?"
Oh boy.
I forced myself to look up into his eyes and was surprised to find that they were more hurt than angry.
"I'm sorry," I automatically began saying.
"I don't want any more apologies, Crys. I want you to tell me what's going on." He sounded more angry than hurt, though.
"Please, Mark. Can we at least go back into my apartment to talk about this?"
"No, we can't."
"What? Why not?"
"Because the last time I did that, we didn't actually do much talking."
I blushed, thinking about it.
"I can't, Crys. My mind stops working when I'm alone with you. But I can't take this anymore. Are you having PMS again or something?"
I snorted. I couldn't help it. His accusation was so absurd. Then I remembered that I had given him that same excuse on the first day
that we'd met. I shook my head.
"No, Mark. It's not PMS."
"Well, what then?"
"Please…let's go inside."
"No, Crystal. This is unacceptable. Your mood changes every time I see you. One day, I think you're into me. The next day, you act like
you hate my guts. Or you start crying and just run away without telling me why. And you won't even switch on your god damn phone!"
People were starting to stare. And recognize us. So I pulled him by his arm and forced him into the building. Miraculously, he didn't
object, so I led him all the way up into my apartment. Once inside, I sat him down on the sofa, went into the kitchen and came back
with a glass of water.
"Drink," I ordered.
He turned away, still sulking.
I took his hand and wrapped it around the glass. "You're drunk. Drink some water," I ordered again.
He glared at me before downing the water. Satisfied, I sat down beside him. He was the one who moved away this time.
"Are you sober enough to talk now?" I asked
"I know what I'm doing. The question I wanna know is, do you?" He looked at me accusingly. "Because it just seems like you're playing
me here."
I was taken aback by his question and stunned into silence.
"Well, are you?" He asked again.
"Am I what? Playing with you? No, Mark, I'm not."
"Then what the hell is going on? Will you please just tell me? What was that all about earlier? What happened? Where have you been?
Why didn't you call me?"
His questions came one after the other. I was so overwhelmed that I tried to open my mouth to answer them but was at a complete
loss for words.
"This is bullshit. I'm outta here." He stood up to leave, then hesitated. "Why won't you tell me, Crystal? I thought the other night meant
something."
"It did."
"Then what happened?"
I closed my eyes in frustration. All the words were forming in my head, but my mouth refused to co-operate.
Tell him!
Mark stood there waiting.
Tell him or he's going to leave!
"I..." I started saying, then stopped and shook my head, unable to go on.
Mark took a step towards the door.
Tell him! He's leaving now!
I panicked, but sat there motionless. I could feel myself succumbing to the darkness again.
No! I refuse to let it end like this!
"Don't go!" I suddenly called out.
He stopped in front of the door. "Why?" He asked without turning around.
"Because…I don't want you to. Please, don't go."
"That's not good enough, Crystal." Mark shook his head and put his hand on the doorknob.
"Mark, I…" I was about to tell him when the doorbell rang.
"Who's visiting you at this hour?" He turned to look at me accusingly.
"I don't know!"
But I soon did. My entire body filled with dread when we both heard, loud and clear from behind the door, "You bitch! You think I don't
know where you live? You think after 2 years you could become famous and forget about me? Pretend I don't exist?"
My past had just come crashing into my future.