Disclaimer: RK belongs to Watsuki Nobohiru, Sony, Shounen, Jump comics and other owners I failed to mention, for which I do not belong.
Chapter 10: Depths
The rain came that night, darkness prowling over the tight street corners of the city. Everyone hurried away to shelter themselves from being drenched, others who had already perceived what others could not, walked normally under transparent umbrellas. The building waiting areas were narrowing with people and the restaurants that were normally empty were strangely full for the first time.
The Pavilion that night was fully occupied; the chairs that usually sat all day on the table were now being utilized by people who do not usually eat the restaurant. There were women, too, not whores. Others had a child or two in their grips while others had their arms circled around men that could only be their lovers. The men who usually talked rude and loud in the house had their mouths shut, their eyes on the downpour outside and their thoughts in the clouds.
Boy, the rain really gets you thinking.
As was their wont, Kenshin and the team headed directly to this place shortly after the shocking incident that afternoon. Shougo and Sano had already had hard-packs in their mouths even before they arrived while the rest of the group was silent. A couple of empty beer bottles were strewn carelessly on their table, some of the unconsumed liquid smearing the table. Those bottles that were still full stood beside Soujirou because he was the most cautious among them all.
They had been there for an hour already but it didn't seem like any second passed at all.
The redhead was resting his head on both his hands, which in turn were rested on the table. His head was slanted to the left, his eyes held emotions that the group had seen for the first time. Okita, being the number one conversationalist in the crew, couldn't take the agonizing silence anymore and finally spoke.
"Well, that was unexpected, wasn't it?" his question was thrown to no one in particular but it all landed on deaf ears all the same. Soujirou Seta fidgeted in his seat, turning his head to Kenshin's direction. His eyes narrowed slightly and he opened one bottle, poured some in a glass and nudged Kenshin's arm with it.
The redhead turned, his eyes questioning.
"It might do you good" Seta offered a harmless smile, too.
A tired, weak smile painted Kenshin's lips and he took the glass, bought it to his mouth, hesitated for a second and drank it all. He wiped his mouth lazily and slammed the glass on the table, making some heads turn to their spot. "Believe me, Soujirou, I've had a hundred of these already and I still don't feel any better"
"Well, perhaps a beach will do you good" Sano suddenly said in a light tone, his lips feigning a smile. He poured himself some sake which he bought himself and consumed the liquid.
The group turned to him, "What?" they chorused, attracting attention yet again.
"Well, why don't we go to that beach resort? Just because" –he hesitated first—"a girl defeated us doesn't mean we don't have to anymore"
"Sano" Kenshin said wearily, "That's exactly it. It wasn't just any other girl, it was Kaoru! Or Cory! Or whoever she is!"
"Believe me, she freaks me out…" Sano took another shot at the sake again.
"We couldn't blame her for acting that way. I mean, we did pull pretty nasty pranks on her." Okita said out of nowhere while Soujirou nodded in approval.
"Don't worry. That would be her last, she isn't that kind of girl" it was pretty amazing how after the threat that Kaoru gave them, Shougo was still cool.
"But didn't you see that creepy look in her eyes?" Sano demanded persuasively, mimicking a shiver.
"She didn't mean it. Trust me, that girl's had just about had enough. For all we know, she could be packing her things to leave Japan right now"
"How come you sound so sure?" The question was acidic and Kenshin couldn't believe why Amakusa was suddenly talking all these weird things about Kaoru. He didn't know her! Nobody did! Even he didn't! And he fell in love with her just like that…
"Because" Shougo glared, "Sayo told me shortly after that girl dropped out of school, that she spearheaded the fund-raising program for my sister's second chemotherapy. If you all remember, that was the time when I missed out a whole week of school for work. We didn't have any money for her second treatment and the doctors said that if she didn't have it on time, it could possibly terminate the whole chemotherapy process. But then, she just came up to me one time on my nightshift and handed me this envelope. In that envelope was more than enough money for her treatment. I asked her where she got it from so I could thank them personally but she told me that I didn't have to know."
He paused for a long breath. "I asked her for a clue and she said that the help came from her angel. I finally gave it a rest. And then when the news about Kaoru dropping out of school came out, she just ran to me crying and told me that her angel was Kaoru. This may sound real crazy but it was the first time I felt really grateful to someone. We're all stupid to do those things to a really sweet girl"
Amakusa reached out for Sano's sake bottle, raised it to his mouth and sucked the liquid in straight from the spittle. He slammed the bottle on the table and lifted his head to face his friends. For the first time, a little blush crept on the corners of his face. It could have been from the wine. But it also could have been from the embarrassment he was feeling at that moment and the waves of guilt hovering all over his entire being.
The rest of the gang fell silent again for several seconds, and then minutes. The pang of guilt now stabbing their insides was worse than the nastiest fight they had with the city's most notorious gangsters. Amakusa and Sano both took turns emptying the sake while Okita and Soujirou helped themselves with the bottles of beer. Kenshin, on the other hand, was deep in thought, the urge to go run and apologize to Kaoru heightening with each falling rain drop, the hurt in his heart deepening with each passing second.
The embarrassment she gave him by defeating him in a Kendo match in front of hundreds of people, now totally fading away to quick oblivion.
Suddenly and out of the blue, he stood up, gathering every little attention that was in the restaurant. He slammed his hands on the table, his face wearing this really grimly-determined expression. "We should go to her now and apologize!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa" Sano hollered, standing up, "I agree but now's not the right time"
"Now is a perfect goddamn time, Sano!" he snapped, "She might be preparing to leave again like Shougo said. I can't let her leave without telling her I'm sorry! Do you understand that, Sano, don't you?"
"I do" the guy answered softly, "but don't you think she needs more time…I mean, just saying you're sorry doesn't prove you really are"
Well sometimes it just isn't enough, is it?
Her words washed over him like a tidal wave. Sano was right. She probably won't buy it anyway. Kenshin sat down and Sano did the same. His nerves were getting very jumpy and he needed to do something with the situation at hand. All he wanted to do was go to her and apologize for everything he did. But that wasn't all there was to it because he was facing another situation. He was in love with her!
Her! Kaoru Kamiya!
"We need to think of something, someway to make her at least feel better" Okita suggested in a lively tone, "we could like bring her to the resort or something"
Sano glared at the petite man, "And what makes you think she would come?"
"We could cook for her" Soujirou deviated.
Kenshin smiled, recalling last Sunday when she attempted to cook for him. Then he frowned. So, was the horrifying meal she prepared for him part of her revenge? Or was she just naturally bad at cooking? He shook his head, "Nah, it wouldn't work. We met last Sunday and I tried to cook for her, and everything went horrible"
"Well" Shougo breathed, leaning back to his chair, "I guess all we can do right now is wait"
"Wait?" Kenshin demanded, "Wait for what?"
"Wait for her to cool down" he answered coolly, snatching another stick for the cigar box. Slowly, he reached for the lighter and began smoking again. The last thing he said sounded like there was another sentence coming, "That way, it wouldn't be so hard for her to forgive"
Soujirou twirled his head to Kenshin. "He's right"
Kenshin titled his head towards the rain and observed the intervals of the falling raindrops on the window. Amakusa's probably right. Maybe all he had to do is wait…and then, when the time is right, maybe they could come to a term where both of them will forget and start over again. And maybe, he could tell her that he loved her…
"So, do we still go to the resort, tomorrow?" Sano pressed again. He turned to Kenshin, "You know buddy, getting away from this horrible city air might do you good. So what do you say?"
"Why do you want to go the beach so bad anyway?" Okita inquired curiously, making a face while emptying the last shot of the bottle.
Sano blinked, wiping a little smear of sake on his lips. He then clapped his hands and giving Okita a mischievous look, he formed the shape of a girl's body with his hands. Okita shook his head and Soujirou groaned. Here comes the lady-killer speaking in Sano again. Sometimes, the rest of the crew found Sano's immense playboy-nature annoying because he would always find a way to drag them with him in his regular girl-hunting trips. It was also his sole fault why Shougo and Okita got involved with the girl-business. Kenshin, however, was already a pro in that department even before Sano realized it was also one of his forte, aside from fighting and bullying.
"Sure" Kenshin suddenly said, his face still on the rain. "I guess we could take a little time off. And Sano, you're probably right. Maybe I do need a breath of fresh air."
The width of Sano's grin reached his ears and he snatched the sake bottle from Shougo and drank it all. After that, he sat silent for a while and then suddenly, he jumped from his seat and sang joyously while the rest of the people in the Pavilion gasped in surprise.
Kenshin smiled and returned his gaze to the window, his thoughts drifting to Kaoru again. What could she be doing at this very moment? What could she be thinking? And was there any possibility that she might share the feelings he had right now for her? These questions were only few of the many things that swam inside his mind. But generally, all he could really think about was Kaoru.
From the depths of his heart, he knew and was sure, that was he was feeling right now, was no less than love.
The kitchen of the Kamiya residence was dark and silent, only the usual breathing of the refrigerator and the light humid draft trespassing from outside made sound. There was also the annoying clucking of raindrops on the roof and the quiet little sobs the only human in the dark was making. She was sitting motionless on one of the wooden dining chairs, her silhouette eaten completely by the darkness. In front of her, was an untouched glass of milk, its heat melting into the cold. The air from outside made her bluish black locks rise from her shoulders, plastering all over her wet face. No, she hadn't gone under the rain. The water she had on her features was no more than heartfelt tears.
Kamiya Kaoru hiccupped, her skin hairs rising from the cold. Akira had told her to go to sleep, but she couldn't seem to close her eyes without thoughts of the redhead haunting her. She asked for Akira's advice on the matter, and he told her to follow whatever her heart willed to do. But, what did her heart want? For a moment there, she felt her heart was nothing but a complicated farrago of confusion. It didn't seem very reliable at that moment.
She pulled out one long heavy sigh and traced the form of the glass, still feeling no desire to even drink a single drop of the milk. Akira prepared it for her, saying she should give it a rest. She didn't understand what he was trying to say. Was he talking about her or the revenge? Which ever it was, a huge part of her had to agree. She was tired as hell but strangely, she found no longing to sleep. All she wanted was to think things over…if Akira was telling her to stop the revenge scheme, maybe he was right. She should just pack her things and leave Japan, only this time, for good.
But, no. She has had enough with running away. She was not going to run away this time. She had to face her demons, before finally; she could have the peace of mind that seemed to have eluded her for so many years. She shifted in her seat in alarm, hearing the distant sound of footsteps descending from the stairs. Then, she calmed. It might have been Akira's. Not a minute later, a manly silhouette appeared at the door, its hand carrying something that appeared like a cup.
The girl blinked, "Akira?"
The shadow neared her, "No, honey. It's dad"
Kaoru blew her bangs and inhaled the air. Then she greeted her father weakly, "Hi, dad"
"What are you doing here, sitting down so late?" Somehow, the voice carried a little angry tone but was obscured by the anxiety that hung around the mysterious serenity of his voice. Before Kaoru could utter the reply, her father already pulled a seat and sat down beside her. "Do you have a problem?"
"No, dad" she said softly, "Just can't sleep"
"Can I ask why?"
"Hmmm…" Kaoru trailed off, her voice as if in a trance. "Dad, can I ask you something?"
"Anything, sweetheart" Tetsuro reached for her hand and when he found it, he squeezed it tight. From the way she spoke, he already figured what was bothering his daughter.
"How do you know when you've had enough?" she asked, her eyes on the glass.
He smiled in the dark, "Darling, only your heart can tell you"
Kaoru frowned, biting her lower lip. What is it with these hearts? First Akira, and now her dad! What is her heart telling her anyway? She lifted her head and faced her father. "I don't know what it's telling me, dad" she said wearily.
"Well, maybe you're not listening" he chided, "Sometimes, Kaoru…the best revenge you can give is forgiveness"
"Dad! This is not about revenge!" she protested, trying to obstruct her tone from rising. She wanted to believe so, but deep inside her she knew, everything she was right now revolved around revenge. Yes, they made her life all about revenge. And no matter how hard she tried, she just can't seem to get out of it.
"Kaoru" she felt her father's hand tighten its grip around hers. "The more you push yourself to make these people pay, the more you're making yourself hurt. The only reason why you can't have that peace of mind is because you're holding yourself back. Sometimes, darling, it's better to let go and move on"
The girl sniffed ruefully, tears stinging her eyes. Gently, she held her father's hand with the free one and lifted her head to meet her father's comforting orbs. She smiled. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was time to let go…maybe it was the only way she could finally have one straight night of sleep, without the thoughts of her misery in high-school haunting her.
Enough is enough.
She had showed them her capabilities and that was enough to teach them a lesson. She finally made her decision. When she would open her eyes the next morning to greet the day, it would be of a fresh start. After tonight, she would officially pack all her grudges, put them in an empty box, burn them all and move on at last with her heart free and her thoughts refreshed.
With another heave of her chest, she let everything out, evaporating them all in the darkness that seemed to oddly contribute to her comfort. Anger, misery, pain, vendettas….they were all gone. And maybe, if fate would have it, when their paths cross again, this time, they would just all laugh about it and start over as friends.
And maybe, considering the tingly frissons she has had around Kenshin, something more than that…
She shut her eyes close, sensing her father standing up. She knew him too well. Then, she felt his lips on her forehead. Mussing her hair, her father gathered his cup and placed it on the sink. Turning around to Kaoru, he suddenly asked, "Would you like to come fishing with me and Akira tomorrow?"
Kaoru stood up and gave her dad a warm smile. "Sure, papa"
Tetsuro stopped short for a moment. His daughter never called him 'papa' since she was eight. It was odd why she suddenly, out of the blue, just called him that. His bushy brows entwined as he inched towards his daughter. "I've never heard you call me 'papa' since you were in second grade, hime-chan"
Now, it was Kaoru's turn to loll to a stop. What did her father just call her? Wasn't that the same name the girl who saved Kenshin's life had? With tangling brows, Kaoru asked, "Have you always called me princess, dad?"
Tetsuro grinned. "I have, since the day I laid eyes on you"
"Does every father call their daughters princesses?"
He chuckled, "Why the sudden show of interest?"
"Nothing really…I just want to know"
"Sure" he answered casually, "every daughter is a princess to her dad."
Kaoru nodded. Her father made another point again. She couldn't have been that girl. It was too coincidental. And besides, like her dad said, there were hundreds of father who call their daughters princesses and hime-chan might also be a real name, instead of a pet-name. So, it wasn't her. Period.
"Dad, about that fishing trip…"
"Hmm?"
"Can I ask where?"
"Hajime resort. Do you still remember that? We go there every summer to fish when you were still a kid"
She nodded absently, standing up. Planting another fatherly kiss on Kaoru's forehead, Tetsuro bid her daughter good night and ordered her to rest herself. Kaoru smiled to herself, feeling light for the first time in a very long time. Somehow, she felt a sudden thrill about fishing. The sunshine and the water would be a perfect outlet for her newfound freedom. She would finally have real fun in years!
But that's not all to it, too. There was also something…some strange feeling something unexpected might happen there, an adventure or something. Kaoru stretched her arms and yawned, finally, sleepiness dawning on her. She placed her cold milk in the fridge and headed towards the stairs, prancing happily towards her room.
From the depths of her soul, she knew and was sure, that what she was feeling right now, was no less than happiness.
Author's Notes: Well, thanks to the reviews and the last episode of Hoshi no Kaleido, I'm finally over that writer's block! I'm sorry if this update is late. Actually, I finished writing this chapter two days ago but I couldn't update because our phone lost its dial tone. Having that, I couldn't go connect to the net. Nevertheless, here it is! Oh and by the way, if y'all wanna e-mail me, please do at and NOT because I forgot the password for infinity. Thanks, minna! I hope you all like this chappie!
JMai: (squeals excitedly) really? THANK you very much! I feel so happy I could hug my computer screen! It's okay you didn't review many times…I'm happily okay with just one. Btw, I'm glad your pc's fixed…mine was too just before the dial tone in our phone was cut off. (laughs) bummer, huh? Anyhoo, thanks again!
Sapphire: Thanks. About the revenge thingy, the other reviewers are right. Even though I can make Kaoru the deadliest monster to ever walk Japan, the fact still remains that I can't change who she really is. The good old kindhearted Kaoru will always be there no matter how vengeful she might be…and that's why…I'm sorta giving her a rest…
Babybluesjaded: Nah uh. Actually, I considered that alternative but then I realized if I made Kaoru cry and feel guilty about her feelings all of a sudden, it would make her look weak and besides, I don't want to let those 'kendo pigs' get away this time! (laughs) Thanks for the review! I hope you like the update…
Insanity's Light: Hell yeah! You just can't imagine how pissed I was when I was writing the scene where the four jerks followed her…but I thought it did good to show how sometimes, men could be petty losers sometimes…thanks for the review!
Y. Ling: Thanks and I hope you like the update…
Lazy reader: (giggles) I'm glad you're not! Thanks!
Blooded wyngs: (rolls to the floor again) OMG! You really make me laugh! Anyways, nope, I'm not turning this into a dark fic and I finally returned Kaoru to her carefree, optimistic, happy self. I don't think I'll turn her back into the 'cold' person she was…you're totally welcome and thanks again! You're one of the best reviewers I've had! (hugs)
Bluenagel-maggie: (laughs) so glad you liked the but-wupping part! (laughs again) Thanks for your review!
Antica: Oh, believe I can't stop my hands from writing that part! After I saw the last episode of Kaleido star, the inspiration just came back and all I could think about was writing! OMG! I was totally into writing the ken-kao conversation! It's so romantic! Just you wait!
Hermione: I'm glad you like it and it's okay not to have THE look because as long as you have a clean heart, you're beautiful than those models! (smiles) Thanks for the review.
Kaori-angel: The communication will be in the next chappie and I'm half-way to being finished! I hope you like that one too!
Kristy-chan: Thank you and I hope you liked this chappie!
Reignashii: (nods) I so totally agree on that part! Well, Kaoru's back to normal now…and I'm sorry I made her act that way…it's just that these things Himura and the others did caused her this pain she THOUGHT she wouldn't get over with…well until the little talk she had with her father. Other couples? I'm thinking Misao and Aoshi and there's Tomoe and Akira. Thanks for the review.
Gypsy-chan: (jumps around and squeals excitedly and kisses the computer screen!) OMG! OMG! I CAN'T believe you read one of my stories! I mean it's like meeting the most popular Hollywood star! I am such a great fan of your stories and you of course…actually, I read them in your site that's why I wasn't able to review here on I actually read all those in the romantic and comedy categories! Well, thanks to you I came across so happy you liked it! And don't worry, I concede. I don't think I can just take the kind-hearted and loving girl away from Kaoru. It wouldn't be justice. (chuckles) Well, anyway, I hope you like my update because I dedicate this to you.
Serphtears: I'm sorry, Serphtears but the game is over. But I hope you still read the story even if I changed Kaoru…(laughs) I can't say she'll be nice to Kenshin already because she is STILL recuperating…(grins)…thanks anyway!
Miharu Kawashi: (sniffs) aww…that was really sweet of you! I'm glad you like Kaoru's character here, thanks for the review and I really hope you liked this chapter.
Blvd: (laughs) Gee, thanks! I hope you like the update…
Becky: Another but-wupping fan! (laughs) thanks very much…
RoyalblueKitsune: (hugs RoyalblueKitsune) Thank you very much for your review! It sort of, in a strange way, got the plot flowing again…thank you really, and I know I can't change Kaoru that way, actually, I realized that if she didn't change fast, what would happen? I mean, I think revenge would just make the story boring. And besides, I categorized this story as romantic…and I will make it that way. Thanks a lot. This chapter is also for you…
DeeKaui: Thanks. I'm glad too! I feel light again and there's just so many things I wanna write about! Anyway, I hope you liked this update…