Chapter 11: On My Own

I woke up in a very painful state. I find myself wrapped in wires around my body that are cutting deep into my skin. My body is outstretched, hanging in the air with these dead human bodies. So I'm still in the Blood Lounge. Great, just what I needed.

"Why bother to wake up?" said Shian standing in front of me in midair, "When you can just accept death here and now."

"... At this point," I said weakly, "I've seen so much of it... It doesn't sound so bad to finally give in."

"Then go ahead."

"Heh heh, I'm afraid it's going to take a while for me to die of blood loss."

"I mean just give up right now, so I can have your body."

"...Oh... Now that's something I can't do."

"Why? You're not making any good progress with it ever since we've merged."

"I rather have this body die with me. Than let it be run by a hungry demon."

"...Really?... You dare to call me a hungry demon? Well that's calling the kettle black."

"What are you talking about?"

"Another trip down memory lane then."

We dive into my memories as she took me back to the time when I was killing Torvic. "Why are we back here?"

"While gaining more of your memories. I didn't think you had more memories that are locked up by death herself. So let's go through of them all."

"Gods," said the Master looking so frightened and shock at what I've done.

"Koschei?" I said as I turned to him, with Torvic's blood all over me, "Koschei, are you alright?"

He nodded. We were silent but I see that the both of us are trying to think what to do in this awful situation. I finally said, "We're going to have to burn the body. Please help me."

"We can't."

"What?"

"If we burn it they'll find the ashes and identify him right away... We have to eat him."

"...Koschei that's crazy talk... You're kidding right?... We can't eat him!"

"What other choice do we have?! Torvic has a powerful family! They'll get us both executed!"

"... I can't-,"

He walked up to me and grab my arms as he said in a serious tone, "We have to eat him. There's no other way."

I went silent and we both got to work. We shared Torvic's body and ate his remains. Flesh, bone, everything. It made me sick to the core seeing this. "This isn't real." I said, "This is not me I wouldn't do this!"

"But you did." said Shian, "I don't have the power to manipulate your memories. All of this is the cold truth of your past."

"LIES! IT'S ALL LIES!"

Suddenly when we finished the job, Death appeared to us. "Are you here to pass judgment on us?" said Koschei.

"You eat what you kill." she said mostly to me. She place her cold dead hand on my left cheek as she said, "You have a future that's full of death. How would you like to be my apprentice? I can teach you many ways of death. You too can be a great Reaper."

"No, I don't want that." I said as I backed away.

"I can show you the many possibilities of your future, Doctor."

"What? Why did you call me Doctor?"

"That's your name. The name of everyone's end. You are born to carry out my legacy. All you had to do was eat what you killed."

"It was not my idea! If you want someone to be trained under you, choose Koschei! He has more the capability to being a Reaper than I am!"

She looked from me to him in confusion. When she walked up to him she place a hand on his head. After a moment passed I saw a small smile crept at the corner of her mouth. She walked back to me and said, "I'll take him, but only because I see how you two share the same fate."

"Please Death, just do me one favor. Please lock these memories from me. I don't want to remember."

"... If that is what you wish. But these memories will come back to you one day. Until then, you will know your real purpose in the universe."

The scene suddenly changed to show me on my own, wearing a red and orange hooded cloak. I'm walking in the city's streets inside the dome. It's night and I just entered into the market center. It's crowded here, full of all TimeLords and TimeLadies, including children. "What's up with this memory?" I said, "Why can't I remember?"

Shian giggled as she said, "Oh you're definitely going to love this memory."

Suddenly my former self stopped and just stood there in the middle of the market. What am I doing? Am I?... sniffing? I'm actually sniffing the air catching everyone's scent.

When I got close to him I can hear his thoughts, "Flesh...People...Flesh...Man... Woman... Child... Flesh. Flesh. Flesh. FLESH, FLESH, FLESH, FLESH!"

My former self didn't realized he was biting down on his hand so hard that he was bleeding. When he looked at it his eyes went wide. When tears suddenly formed and flowed down from his eyes, an old woman walked up to my former self. She smiled at me as she asked, "You're the boy from the Lungbarrow house right?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Come with me." She took my other hand that's not bleeding, and brought me inside one of the market tents. She sat me down on a comfy pillow on the floor that has a red rug. The woman started bandaging my bleeding hand after using Gallifreyan herbal medicines. "So, when did you first consume one of our own?"

"What?" I was too confused to understand what she was asking. For I don't even remember committing cannibalism. "Your eyes explain it all." she said as she remove my hood for me. I saw my eyes are red and yellow, like a Ghoul's eye. Her eyes changed too to match my own. "You really don't remember do you?" she said.

"...You're.. A TimeGhoul?"

"The last of my kind from the ancient times. You're a newborn though. You're pupils aren't slitted like mine. Don't worry, if you only ate once upon a Gallifreyan the Ghoul hormone should pass."

"...How can you handle this life?" I said as I started crying again, "It's awful, I can't taste the food here. All I can think is eating flesh. More of all why can't I remember?"

"It's probably because you don't wan't to remember. Now as for me living the way I am, you can say I was fated to be a TimeGhoul. I live my life however I see fit, even if it has no purpose."

"...To live life... with no purpose?"

"You'll understand one day little TimeLord. For now just stay away from eating your own kind. That's if you want to be a TimeGhoul?"

"...I'm sorry, I really don't want to be like this anymore. But if it's alright with you, can I visit you sometime?"

"I don't mind that at all little TimeLord."

"Call me Theta, what's your name?"

"Iota-Omin."

"TimeGhouls huh?" said Shian interrupting the moment, "Who knew there will be other monster just like us."

The scene changed again. We were outside in the red grass fields, and it's raining. I'm much older now, I look like I'm in my adolescence years. I have my arms outstretched standing in between Gallifreyan authorities, and Iota-Omin. It seems I'm protecting her. Iota-Omin is sitting down on her knees while clutching her injured right arm.

"Get out of the way Half-Breed!" shouted one of the authorities.

"I won't let you take her away from me!" shouted my former self, "She's my friend I won't let you hurt her!"

"Do you have any idea what she is?! She's a TimeGhoul! We can't let someone like her ravaging our sacred home!"

"She hasn't killed anyone! All she has been doing is feeding upon the dead!"

"You knew all along about this TimeGhoul, Half-Breed?! TREASON!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE COMMITTING TREASON! Killing a fellow Gallifreyan all because of her existence?! You all hate me because I'm a Half-Breed. Well so what?! TimeGhoul, Half-TimeLord, or even full-fledged! WE'RE ALL THE FUCKING SAME!"

"Theta." said Iota-Omin as she stands up, "It's okay. I'm old and weary, it's my time to pass on."

"Iota? What are you saying?"

"Let them take me, I can't have a youngling like get killed over me."

"Iota no please! Don't go! We're friends aren't we? Why would you want to leave me?!"

She suddenly wrapped her arms around me to hug me real tight. Tears flowed down from my eyes as she whispered to me, "I'll never be gone as long as I live within your memories. Remember, live even without a purpose."

"...Iota."

She let go and walk past me to be taken away. I was too but I was escorted back home. I did nothing to stop any of it. I blamed myself so much, I locked the memory of her away.

"Iota." I myself started crying, "How could I forget?"

"You forgotten because you were so selfish to not grieve over her instead. Not to mention your death was your fault alone."

"SHUT UP!"

The sky suddenly turned white but the fields are still red. I grabbed Shian by her shirt as she laughed, "Really Doctor? What are you going to do, threaten me? You know you're not capable. You're less than worthless. The only reason why everyone dies is because you let them die. You're so fucking spineless you can't even protect yourself."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Huh?... Oh I see. I finally get it now. The only reason why you hold back is because of Torvic. You've seen what you are capable of. Your sanity can easily go off the rails you're afraid to kill anyone who dares to even touch your friends. But remember, Torvic wasn't your last."

"DOCTOR!" I heard Kaneki's voice echoing, "DOCTOR WE'RE COMING!"

"Ah, it's your new friend." said Shian, "I bet he's with Shadow Puppet. So what are you going to do Doctor? Let your friends die again?"

I punched her in the face hard she fell to the ground. She wasn't shock about my action which pissed me off. I continued to beat her with my fists until we were both covered in blood. When I stopped she said, "Are you done?"

"I hate this..." I said, "I hate me. You're right, everyone dies because of me. I lost my family, friends, civilians, everyone. I've save million others but I could never save the people that were important to me."

"Are you saying it's better to be on your own then?"

"Heh heh, even on my own I still only letting everyone down... No, I need to stop controlling my emotions so much. I need to go crazy once in a while. It's so unhealthy I didn't realize it's the reason why I'm letting everybody down."

I couldn't help myself but laugh. That's when I finally saw Shian look surprised. She said, "Wait, does that mean you finally accept me?"

"I accept the Ghoul that was inside me before you. But, I guess I can work with for now. Now how did that saying goes again?"

She smiled as we both said it at the same time, "I eat another to live. I know I will too be eaten like I did. I just hope I taste good."

I began to eat upon Shian to accept her into my soul. I'm tired of it. I'm sick of losing my friends all because I refuse to let my monster take over. If I want to protect them, I need to accept that dark side of me. Protect what's important, protect the ones I cherish most.

My hair turned completely blood red and my right eye turned into red and yellow. My left eye reacted as well, both pupils became slitted. "Well will you look at that." I said as I smiled, "I've finally became a TimeGhoul."