A/N: This chapter is set up a little different but should be easy to follow.

Gemma violently thrashed around in her sleep as a nightmare overtook her every sense. Her body broke out in a cold sweat as she murmured frantically and struggled against some unseen assailant.

Gemma was only roused from this restless sleep by a pair of strong hands shaking her body. She heard a deep voice speaking to her.

"Gemma! Gemma, you need to wake up, Baby. You are having a nightmare."

He gently stroked Gemma's cheek to calm her down. The older man rested a hand on her chest and felt how quickly her heart was racing. He wondered what could have inspired such panic in his generally stoic wife.

Gemma's eyes shot open and she stared at the man hovering over her. She jumped in fear and backed away from him until she tumbled off the side of the bed.

"John?" choked out Gemma fearfully.

"Baby, what's wrong?" asked John Teller. He was more than a little concerned for his wife.

He climbed off the bed and went to her side. John knelt on the floor next to Gemma and looked into her eyes. "What in the world were you dreaming about?"

She looked around the room as if trying to figure out where she was at the moment. This bedroom didn't look like her bedroom. And yet it looked to be her taste. Gemma's eyes went to John and observed his aged appearance.

"It was just a bad dream," whispered Gemma looking into his eyes.

She slowly started to calm down as she realized that it had just been a dream and that she was safe.

John wrapped his arms around Gemma and kissed the top of her head.

"It sounded like a pretty bad one. I don't think I've ever heard you cry out in your sleep like that before. What was this dream about?" asked John.

"Uh, I…I don't know," whispered Gemma.

John's thumb caressed her cheek. "Can I do something to help?"

She slowly got onto her feet. "I need to wash my face."

He gave a concerned look to his wife but nodded in understanding. "I'll be waiting here."

Gemma walked into the bathroom and locked the door. She stared at herself in the mirror and felt her face. There were no cuts or bruises. She couldn't feel any swelling. It had indeed just been a nightmare.

Clay Morrow had been released from prison just before Christmas. He'd served a hefty sentence for John's attempted murder. His freedom was likely the source material for her nightmare. He was looming like the ghost of Christmas past.

20 years ago John and Gemma's youngest son had been on death's door. His heart was giving out and they were unable to find a suitable donor for the little boy.

Gemma and John were growing apart and both had taken to cheating with other people to get what the other wasn't giving them.

As Thomas became sicker and they were certain that he was going to die a miracle occurred. A youngster perished in an accident but was a match for Thomas. It was Thomas' survival that ultimately bonded them together.

She was startled out of her thoughts hearing a firm knock on the bathroom door. "I'll be just a minute," Gemma responded, as she attempted to collect herself.

John frowned from the other side of the door and walked over to his nightstand grabbing his knife. He went back to the bathroom door and easily popped the lock and walked into the bathroom.

"Gemma, what is going on?"

Gemma turned and said, "You couldn't give me a few more minutes? Damn it, John!"

"No, there is obviously something wrong with you and I want know what. It isn't like you to have nightmares. Let alone ones that bring you to tears," said John.

"I dreamed that we weren't together. That you were dead and so was Thomas. It was a very hard dream to stomach and it felt so very real. I was…I don't know…lost."

John's eyes widened slightly but nodded in understanding.

"I can understand why that would be so upsetting, but I'm not going anywhere, Gemma. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried. Why did you feel like you couldn't share that with me?"

"It was hard thinking about it let alone putting it into words. It seemed so real…so detailed. It just scared me. I am fine now. We should go downstairs. I don't want to be late for Christmas morning. If I know Thomas and Colleen they are probably already downstairs having coffee and waiting on us."

"Yes, your son and daughter tend be impatient."

"My son and daughter?" asked Gemma laughing.

"They get that impatience from you, Gemma. What time are Jax and Tara coming over with the boys?" asked John.

"I told them to be here around noon. Tara is supposed to help me and Colleen cook Christmas dinner. You know Col has been hinting about her car already."

John quirked an eyebrow and frowned. "She doesn't turn 16 until February."

"Well, she already has her driver's permit. You did know she'd want a car. She's has been picking up hours at the office so that you can't try to delay her car with the whole…you've got to help pay for it scheme. Apparently, she got advice from her older brothers."

He chuckled and said, "Tommy is probably the one that tipped her off. 27 years old and he is still a big kid. I don't think that boy is ever going to move out of this house."

Gemma laughed and shook her head. "You are the one that decided to fix up that apartment over the garage. Why the hell would he want to move? He lives in a rent free studio apartment and can come in the house to eat our food whenever he likes. Not to mention free laundry services."

John smiled slightly. "Don't pretend that you don't like having your children close to home. If you could make Jax move back home you would."

Gemma's eyes glazed over thinking about her dream. Jax had hated her so much. The thought of losing Jax even in a dream was too much to bear.

He looked Gemma and saw that she still seemed off kilter. "Are you going to tell me anymore about this nightmare you had?"

She shook her head. "Maybe later on. Let's go say Merry Christmas to the kids, John."

Gemma slipped by him and grabbed her robe on the way out of the bedroom. She walked down the stairs and smiled seeing Thomas and Colleen sitting in the living room drinking coffee. Gemma took in a relieved breath laying eyes on her youngest son and daughter.

Thomas looked up hearing Gemma and John's footsteps coming down the stairs. "Merry Christmas, you guys."

Gemma walked over to Thomas and hugged him and then Colleen. "Merry Christmas, babies."

It was day three of Gemma being in a coma. The longer she was unconscious the more desperate the situation became. The doctors had rattled off all of these statistics about people who never wake up at all.

Dr. Sanders reminded Jax and Elliot that even if Gemma were to wake up there were no guarantees about her state of mind. She wasn't breathing when Elliot found her. When the paramedics arrived she was still hypoxic and her lips showed evidence of cyanosis. The lack of oxygen to Gemma's brain could have left her with mild to severe brain damage.

Jax refused to even think about that. He preferred to take the situations one at a time. For now he just wanted Gemma to wake up. Everything else could be sorted out later. He just wanted her to wake up.

Elliot was starting to doze off while holding Gemma's hand when he thought he felt a twitch. His eyes shot open and he moved to the edge of his chair. "Gemma?"

Jax stood up and looked over at Elliot. "What is it?"

The older man frowned. "Nothing. I thought I felt Gemma's hand move but I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part."

Jax nodded slightly and sat back down. "Or those involuntary muscle spasms Dr. Sanders told us about."

Elliot scrubbed at his face tiredly and looked to Jax. "I think I need a break. I am going to go find a bad cup of coffee. Do you want one?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks anyway."

He nodded slightly and kissed Gemma on the cheek before leaving the room.

Jax looked at Gemma's face. The cuts and lacerations were beginning to heal and the bruises were already changing colors. It seemed like everything was moving forward except for Gemma. She was still laying in the same bed sleeping. Jax refused to call it a coma. Gemma was just taking an extended nap.

He picked up her hand and squeezed it gently. "I know that you're mad at me. No matter what you say I know that you are and I know that the way I've been treating you has hurt you. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason I've acted the way that I have. You can punish me all you want but you just can't leave me because I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready to live in a world without my mother. I keep obsessing about what I could have done differently to keep you safe. And I know that you didn't come to me for protection because I was shutting you out of my life. You just drive me crazy. Everything is a lie or a secret and the harder I try to understand you the more I realize I never knew you at all."

The biker looked around the room and spotted a picture. "Abel came to visit you yesterday. He left you a get well soon card that he made. He drew and Tara did the writing. That kid is a bull in a china shop every other day of the week. But when he came to see you we didn't even have to tell him to be gentle it was like he just knew. He cried when Tara had to take him back home."

Jax blew out a breath trying not to cry. "If you don't want to wake up for me then wake up for Abel. I can't go home and tell him that he's never going to see his Granny Gem again. I can't do that to my little boy. You can't do that to my little boy. So many times I've been ready to give up on him and you pushed me. You goaded me….you slapped me. You wouldn't let me give up on my son because you never gave up on me or Tommy. Well, I'm not giving up on you. I know that you are going to wake up. You have to."

Jax took Gemma's hand and rested his head against it. He closed his eyes tiredly and before Jax knew it he was dozing off.

An hour later Gemma's hand started to twitch. Her eyes fluttered open only briefly before snapping shut again. The overhead lights had blinded her light sensitive eyes. She began to mumble, "Tommy…my baby, Tommy."

Jax shot out of his seat looking at Gemma. "Mom?"

Gemma struggled to open her eyes again. She smiled a little. "Tommy, I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry, Baby."

Jax's eyes widened. "Mom, it's me. It's Jax. Can you hear me?"

"Such a good boy, Tommy," murmured Gemma.

He squeezed her hand and brought it to his face. "Mom…Tommy's gone. It's me Jax."

Gemma blinked slightly as her vision focused in more on Jax's face. She looked around the room confused. Panic started to set in. "Where's Tommy? Where's my boy?"

"He's gone…Mom. He died. You know he died."

"No! I saw him! I was just with him! He was okay and he was happy. I…I was happy. I need to go. I need to find my baby," screamed Gemma. She ripped the IVs from her arm and tried to get up.

Jax pushed her back down onto the bed. "You can't get up. You're going to hurt yourself."

The machines in the room started going off as Gemma's body began to seize violently.

"Mom?"

Elliot stood on the other side of the bed in shock. He pushed the call button for the nurses' station. "We need a doctor in here!" He turned his attention to Gemma. "Hold on, Baby. We're going to get you some help."

Two nurses and a doctor rushed into the room. The nurse called out. "Her blood pressure is dropping. She's crashing!"

The other nurse looked to the two men. "We need both of you to leave the room so that we can do our jobs. Please."

Jax ambled out of the room feeling numb.

More hospital personnel rushed into Gemma's room.

Over the PA system a nurse said, "Code Blue to ICU Bay 4. Code Blue to ICU Bay 4."

Elliot leaned against the wall in front of Gemma's ICU room. His eyes were tired and it looked like he was barely holding himself up. "I don't understand…she was fine and then…"

Jax shook his head not having any better answers than he did. "She kept calling me Tommy. Her eyes were wide open and she was looking at me but she kept calling me Tommy like she couldn't see me. I don't understand. I asked her earlier not to leave me and the first thing she utters when she woke up was Tommy."

The older man looked at the sadness on Jax's face and tried to think of a way to be encouraging. Gemma wouldn't want Jax suffering like this. "I don't think it was a slight, Jax. Your baby brother has been on Gemma's mind a lot lately. This thing with you made her miss him that much more than she normally did. She lost both of her parents in less than a year's span and now you don't want to be around her. It just made her take stock of everyone she's lost. None of those pains harder to stomach than Thomas."

"After Tommy died I used to worry about him being scared because he was by himself. I was his big brother and it was always my job to protect him. When Tommy was a kid he'd get scared whenever it stormed. I never knew when but sometime in the night I'd wake up with this little body clinging to me for dear life. After my dad died…Mom said I didn't have worry about Tommy anymore because JT would be there to protect him. I'm not ready for her to go protect him too."