XXV.

"Here you are Leonard," says Sheldon as he opens the front door to Penny's apartment. "Where shall I leave these for you?" he adds, jingling the keys in his hand.

"For the last time, Sheldon: George and I aren't drunk!"

Nobody had been able to stomach more than the slightest sip of Howard's moonshine. So other than one beer and one small glass of mead apiece, no one had had all that much to drink. Nevertheless, George's alcohol-phobic brother had been adamant about driving them both back to the apartment building.

Leonard is obviously peeved. George considers himself an expert on feeling annoyed with Sheldon, so he can sympathize pretty easily. The little guy is pretty polite about it, though, because he adds, "Thanks for driving me home anyway… I guess," before closing the door in Sheldon's face.

Speaking of which… "I didn't know that you even knew how to drive, Shelly. Last I heard, you were 'too evolved' for driving."

Sheldon moves to unlock the door to 4A. "Amy taught me at the end of last year. It turns out that she was the only one who proved up to the task. Maybe a superior species simply requires a superior teacher."

"From what I heard tonight, that's not the only thing she's managed to teach you," George lowers his voice to a very soft whisper as they make their way into the apartment.

Missy is asleep on the couch, while his mother and Meemaw are occupying Leonard's room. He and Shelly have been sharing Sheldon's room, which Sheldon has accepted with greater dignity than George would have expected. It's just a sleeping bag on the floor of his brother's room, but still, by Sheldon's standards that's pretty hospitable.

He knows that he probably shouldn't rile his brother up by talking about this subject, but it's completely irresistible to tease him. Sheldon ignores his initial volley, but after they cross the living room he fires another shot.

"I never thought I'd see the day. Seriously, bro, it's like finding out that pigs really can fly, and for some reason we all just never noticed they had wings."

George sees his brother gather up pajamas from an overly tidy drawer in his dresser. "I possess neither wings nor hooves, and I fail to see the point of this conversation."

Of course he doesn't see it. "My point is… what are you even doing here?"

"I live here," Sheldon answers, and George sees his familiar look of baffled condescension.

George sighs. "It's pretty obvious from what you said earlier that you'd prefer to have Amy here. Well… maybe you should just take a chance and go over to her place tonight."

His brother freezes in place with a pair of childish superhero pajamas dangling from his left elbow. Who would've thought that those were even available in a size to fit Sheldon's tall frame?

"I can't do that. What about Mom and Meemaw?" Sheldon looks scandalized. "Besides, Amy's mother is staying over at her apartment…"

"Think of it as your last chance to sneak out behind your parent's back to meet a girl. It ain't like that's an experience you had a shot at back when you were a teen. I'm thinking it's not likely that Amy was ever the sort to sneak around either. So… go give your girl a little thrill."

George is kind of proud to see his pretentious, good-two-shoes little brother actually tempted to do this.

"But… her mother?"

George shrugs. "Well, you could always just not get caught. But, hell Shelly, even if you do, what is she going to do? Insist you marry her daughter?" He snorts.

Sheldon remains silent for several seconds, clearly thinking it over. Eventually, he turns back to his dresser and plops his nightwear back inside of it before firmly closing the drawer. When he's done, he faces George and looks very serious when he says, "Don't tell Mom."

George is relieved to see that his brother has enough sense to leave those ridiculous pajamas behind.

Smiling, he offers reassurance. "Of course not. You were a huge pest when we were growin' up, but you never were a tattler when it came to my own sneaking-out adventures. I'm happy to return the favor. If you're back early enough, ain't nobody ever gonna find out."

His brother still looks a bit hesitant, but George sees him gulp sharply and ball his fists in determination. Reaching into his pocket, George fumbles around for his rental car keys. He dangles the key ring from the tip of his right index finger and stretches his arm out in Sheldon's direction.

George's mind once again is filled with the image of winged swine because Sheldon actually reaches out and takes the keys.

Well, what do you know? It looks like his little brother really does have hormones after all.

—-

XXVI.

Sheldon has his hand poised over Amy's front door when he remembers that knocking would probably not be wise. He digs into his coat pocket to retrieve his keys and tries to unlock and open the door as stealthily as possible.

Sticking his head in for a peek, he sees nothing but Amy's dark living room. He steps into the room and slowly closes the door. Suddenly, he is startled by a thunderous clap of sound emanating from Amy's couch. It nearly makes him drop his keys and bolt from the room. Curiosity halts him, though, and he chances a few brave steps forward to see what could be causing that ruckus.

He breathes a sigh of relief, sort of, when he realizes it is just Amy's mother snoring away. She is propped up on a mound of pillows, and he remembers Amy telling him about her mother's difficulty sleeping due to allergies.

Sheldon didn't realize that such a condition could make someone sound like a wounded warthog. Her next snore jolts him again, and he nearly lets out a squeak. Covering his mouth with his hand, he starts to tiptoe around the couch.

He stops on the far side of the room to take one last look at the odd spectacle. How does such a tiny woman manage to create such a racket?

At that moment, her position shifts, and the air is instantly filled with an entirely different sound. This one is more reminiscent of Darth Vader's deep breathing. He feels frozen in place, in odd deference to the evil emperor.

At that moment, it occurs to Sheldon that standing here in the dark, staring at his future mother-in-law is not a good idea. How on Earth would he explain away his presence if she were to wake up, or worse yet, if Amy were to come in? Telling her that he was sucked in to the hideous vortex of sound that was swirling around her mother doesn't seem like it would go over very well.

He makes his way down the short hallway to the Tardis' doors of Amy's bedroom and lets himself inside. When he closes this set of doors, he finds that he can no longer hear Amy's mother snoring. Apparently, these doors dampen sound pretty well. He adds this as yet another entry on his mental list of reasons to love Doctor Who and the Tardis.

Squinting against the darkness, Sheldon can see that the woman in repose in this room is the correct Fowler. He heads over to her window and opens the curtains to let in enough light that he won't bludgeon himself on any of her bedroom furniture. The moon is bright, and the sky is every bit as cloudless as it usually is in this part of the state, so her room ends up fairly well lit from just the one window.

They have shared her bed here on a few occasions, and Sheldon feels reasonably comfortable about shucking off his jacket and stripping down to his Superman Underoos before climbing in. With one knee on her bed, he suddenly remembers that there is no lock on the bedroom doors. Being interrupted would be utterly unacceptable, so he gingerly gets up and quietly nudges Amy's armchair over to block the Tardis entrance.

Shuffling back towards the bed, he is pleased to be reminded that Amy does not have her mother's unfortunate snoring habit. She is breathing softly, and the wet hair and minty toothpaste smell of her indicates that she has not been sleeping for very long. It's warm enough that she has kicked off her blanket, and he sees that she is wearing one of his old Green Lantern t-shirts and some kind of lacy women's underwear.

As he carefully sits on the edge of the bed, he contemplates the best way to alert her to his presence. Deciding that his traditional greeting makes sense, he scooches up next to her and leans his face right by her ear. He reaches up to tap softly on the headboard three times before whispering her name quietly into her ear.

She doesn't wake up, so he repeats it a second time. Feeling relieved that he gets a chance for all three repetitions, he whispers her name a little louder on the final set.

At that, she gasps sharply and starts sitting up. He is just barely able to dodge out of her way enough that she doesn't slam her forehead into his nose. It occurs to him that maybe waking up to a tall, semi-naked man looming over oneself could be a little alarming.

All of a sudden, she comes awake enough to realize who is calling her name. "What the hell, Sheldon?" she whispers in her own kind of familiar greeting.

Sheldon hadn't really thought about what he was going to say to her. He's pretty sure that his genius will kick in at any minute and guide him to say something brilliant. He opens his mouth.

"Umm…"

He sees her look down his body and note his state of dress - or undress in this case. Her expression softens considerably before shifting into a smirk.

"Been missing someone?" she asks.

A brilliant rejoinder eludes him, so instead he just nods. That is absolutely why he is here.

Her face switches from amusement to panic. "What about my mother?"

Amy must not be operating under full brain power at this time of night either, because she was pretty slow to realize that he has snuck in passed her mother. She is whispering much more quietly now, so Sheldon lowers his own voice even more as well.

"Oh, she's fine. She couldn't hear me over the sound of her own… exhalations."

It's not easy to describe those terrible sounds politely, but Sheldon gives it his best try. Amy is obviously trying to stifle a giggle, so it must not have been too offensive. Sheldon continues, "Maybe you should ask Leonard for the number of his otolaryngologist. His deviated septum surgery did wonders for his sinuses."

Amy's muffled chuckle fade to a soft smile. "That's very thoughtful of you, and you're probably right that she should have it checked out. But… you didn't really come here to talk to me about my mother, did you?"

He glances down at her lips before moving his eyes back to hers.

"No. No I did not," he confesses, barely breathing out the sound at this point.

"Good," Amy whispers right back into his mouth and then steals what little breath he has left when she plants a kiss on his lips.

Sheldon takes the liberty of sneaking his hands up under her Green Lantern shirt, and her skin is even softer than the old, worn cotton that covers her. There's no bra underneath, and Sheldon breathes a sigh of relief that he won't have to try to navigate that contraption. He's gotten much better at it over the last few months, but at 1:00 in the morning, he's not sure he'd have the wherewithal to maneuver it.

After he pulls off the little bit of clothing that she has on, he feels her eagerly reach for his own lone piece of attire. That won't do. It would be much too distracting, and Sheldon is a man on a mission. He halts her hand with his own and breaks their kiss to begin a whispered explanation.

"Amy… you are aware that I have… certain issues with closure. We began something last week that was interrupted, but I have every intention of seeing it through."

He sees her swallow roughly before she answers, "Sheldon, that's not… it's not like that. You don't owe me anything. Just because I do something for you… it's not like there's some debt that you need to repay…"

This isn't the response that Sheldon has been expecting from her. It's not even close. He is well aware of her interest in this particular activity after having read all of that fanfic she's been writing. She probably doesn't know that he knows about that. Still, he wasn't anticipating any kind of objection.

"But I want to," is the only response he can think of to give her, and it is as good as any because it is simply the truth.

He wants to make her feel the way that she made him feel the last time they were together. Well, it wouldn't be quite precisely the same, but the gender equivalent. Sheldon isn't sure how to explain it to her - how amazing the experience had been for him and how he feels an overwhelming compulsion to give that experience back to her.

Unsure of what else to say or do, he decides to approach the matter in the same way that she did for him. He kisses her mouth gently before making his way down her neck and chest. Already familiar with these areas of her body, he knows exactly what she likes.

Pressing one last kiss to her abdomen, he turns his face to look up at her and rests the side of his head on the soft skin of her belly. "I won't if you don't want me to."

She still looks more nervous than he would prefer, but it also looks like the lust might be starting to win out over her hesitation.

She doesn't respond, so he continues, "Are you concerned that I won't like it?"

When she turns her head away, he suspects that he has hit upon the correct issue. An admitted germaphobe, he can see how she might have this concern.

It's really not a problem, though. Amy is the single most hygienic person he has ever known. Her kitchen and bathroom are so spotless that one could perform valid scientific experiments in them. He knows this for a fact because they have done precisely that on several occasions.

Sheldon sighs and traces the bottom edge of her ribcage with his index finger while he tries to figure out what to say. It's so much easier when they don't talk.

She turns her head back to look at him and raises one eyebrow. "Aren't you concerned about that?" she whispers, answering his question with one of her own.

"No," he responds simply, but then figures he ought to elaborate, "Amy… it may have taken me a long time to… accept certain realities about you and I. But it has always been true - and it has been proven time and time again - that… I like you."

His explanation sounds woefully insufficient, even to his own ears, so he forces himself to babble on. "I mean, I love everything about you, and there's no reason to think that this will be any different. It's going to be fine."

There's got to be a better way to say that, but the right words just won't come to his mind. He shrugs and then starts running his right hand from the line of her ribs to her iliac crest, and then down towards her inner thigh.

After only a few moments of contemplation, she finally nods assent, but then she buries her face under one of her arms.

He decides it's best to whisper one final warning, "You're probably going to want to try to be quiet."

At that, her head pops back out from her hiding place and he sees her shocked face. Their conversation must have caused her to forget about the current circumstances of their dalliance. When he wiggles down the bed and starts to encourage her to move her legs, he sees her eyes widen even further. He gives her a smile of reassurance before focusing his attention on the matter at hand.

Sheldon has been spelunking south of the border often enough to be quite familiar with the lay of the land. He lets his hand get reacquainted with some of the well-known features that he is about to get to know even better. As uncertain as Sheldon is about what to do, past experience with Amy has taught him that it's most effective to begin slowly. With this in mind, he takes the time to kiss her inner thighs and generally explore the areas surrounding ground zero.

At the first experimental swipe of his tongue, it becomes clear that they are going to have a problem. Not with the act itself, of course, because he likes Amy just as much as he always does. No, the problem is that it is obvious that Amy will not be able to be quiet. She buries her face back in her arms and that seems to muffle her a little bit.

It takes a while before Sheldon is able to work up any kind of friction down here. It reminds him, oddly enough, of almost exactly what it feels like to lick Jello.

As time goes by, she gets increasingly louder. Eventually, she reaches down to grab his unoccupied hand, and her plan becomes clear when she stretches his arm up far enough to be able to fit two of his fingers into her mouth. It's an effective enough strategy, and she is soon relatively quiet again.

He is contemplating the logistics of trying to add a hand in to the mix, but it is much too late because she suddenly sucks sharply on his hand while thrusting her hips up into his face. The feeling of her body pulsing so intimately against his tongue is more fascinating than he had anticipated.

She is still breathing harshly when he kisses his way back up to her mouth. To his great relief, his Vulcan hearing does not detect any noise coming from the other room. Amy smiles at him and reaches down to yank on his bright red undies.

"It's your turn to try to be quiet," she whispers hoarsely into his mouth.

He is certainly not going to turn her down.

It's impossible to be graceful while removing underwear quickly, so Sheldon isn't surprised to catch Amy snickering at him as the garment gets tangled on his left foot. After he successfully manages to kick it away, he moves over to her, and Amy wraps her legs around his hips in invitation.

He sinks into her, and after only a few seconds he feels his body make its usual attempt to embarrass him. That's unacceptable, but Sheldon has become adept at stifling the initial rush.

Also helping to distract him is the annoying sound of the headboard rhythmically tapping against Amy's wall. It's quite a distinctive sound, and Sheldon is certain that it would give them away if Amy's mother were to wake up and notice it. He tries to move as slowly as possible, in the hope that it won't strike the wall so much, but eventually he can't resist more vigorous movement. The aggravating sound intrudes once again in response to the change.

With a mostly stifled groan, he forces himself to stop moving entirely. Amy looks surprised, but her surprise turns to understanding when he reaches for a pillow and shoves it between the headboard and the wall.

Now the only noises are the ones that he and Amy make. It seems easier to keep their sounds to a minimum if he keeps his mouth in contact with hers, but it's not like that's any great hardship. Unable to hold back a third time, he grasps tightly onto Amy's shoulders and lets himself lose control.

The euphoria is slow to fade, but eventually Sheldon's OCD kicks in and reminds him that he should probably move. They're undoubtedly creating a pretty extensive, inverse Rorschach painting on these dark linens.

"I don't want to leave," he confesses in lieu of getting up.

With a soft sigh she rubs his shoulders and says, "We're fully grown adults, and we don't need to explain ourselves. You can stay."

As much as Sheldon would like to stay, he has no desire to justify his presence here to either of their mothers. Amy wants a simple, pleasant wedding day, and so does he. There is no reason to add a potential complication.

"I know. What you're saying is absolutely true…" he agrees and focuses his eyes on hers, "but I bet our day will be more peaceable if I leave."

She nods and then offers a small, conciliatory smile. "I understand. It's our last night apart anyway." She nudges his side gently with her elbow, "And hey, it turns out that we didn't spend it so far apart after all."

—-

Notes: Thanks to mphs95 for beta reading this chapter, and thanks again to the rest of you for reading!

Chapter 12 will be posted on Wednesday.