I am soooooooooooooo sorry I haven't been updating. To be honest I completely hit a wall on this story but I think I have a direction for it to go now. Plus between school just starting and work getting more hectic, it's been difficult to write.

Anyway~ Here is the next chapter. c:

-Violet Horizon

Chapter 11

I found myself sitting on the swing in the park late Sunday evening. The sun was starting to set and the wind was chilly against my skin. But if I was being completely honest, I couldn't feel the cold. After the things Eddy had told me yesterday, I hadn't been able to focus on very much. Even doing the rest of my homework was a challenge. I found myself spacing out more than I wanted to.

I couldn't stop questioning what was going on recently. Kevin was ignoring me, and Eddy was treating me like I was his property. Not allowed to talk to Kevin? Who did he think he was? But, at the same time, I guess it really didn't matter since Kevin wasn't talking to me anyway. I couldn't help the sting of pain I felt in my chest.

"Double D," I shook my head at the sound of my own name. "Hey, dude. Everything all right?" I turned my head in her direction and watched as she sat on the swing beside me. "Eddy was freaking out as to where you were earlier. He couldn't find you and he had started blaming Kevin. Saying he had kidnapped you or something like that." She laughed a bit. "I thought it was weird."

I shook my head, "I'm kind of ignoring that group at the moment."

She jumped a bit at that. "What happened?"

I gripped the chains to the swing tighter, "Kevin was my friend but now he's suddenly ignoring me. And I can't figure out what the hell I did or could have done to have him treat me like that. Then on the other side Eddy is being overprotective and telling me that I'm not allowed to talk to Kevin anymore. Which I see as kind of pointless since, again, Kevin isn't talking to me. I don't even get why Eddy said something like that in the first place. The only conclusion I can come to is that Eddy really likes me the way that I like Kevin. And it's just a mess!" I took a deep breath and rubbed my face.

Nazz giggled softly beside me, causing me to pull my face from my hands and look at her. "That's a lot of chaos."

I rubbed my face with my hands, "you have no idea."

She started to rock the swing gently back and forth as she looked up towards the sky. "I can't believe Kevin's ignoring you. But I guess I can't blame him either. He has been so confused as to what's going on."

"What do you mean?"

"Hmm," she pulled her eyes from the sky to look at me. "It's just that, Kevin isn't quite sure of his feelings. He knows that something is tugging at the back of his mind but he doesn't quite know what. But, it seems like you've already got your answer, huh?"

I looked away from her, "I've known for quite some time that I've liked Kevin. We always seemed to get along better than he and Eddy did, or even with Ed. There have been several instances where I have to stop myself from looking at him. He might get the wrong idea. But, I just want to be able to tell him. I thought that when I told him about my cat he would get it."

"Oh yeah, he told me about that. He said the cat has orange fur, green eyes, and is named Kelvin. Please, even I knew what that meant when he first told me. Yet, he was still racking his brain about it wondering what it could mean."

"I want to tell him, Nazz. I want him to know. I hate feeling trapped."

"So tell him?"

I shook my head, "captain of the football team and dork don't go very well together."

"That's pretty stupid."

I jumped at the emphasis she put on the word 'stupid' and turned to look at her. "What? Why?"

"Well think about it. Everyone was so against it when Sarah and I started holding hands and telling people, 'yes, we're a couple'. But we didn't care what they thought and now look, no one even cares. There are still some people who aren't pleased with it. But for the most part everyone still love us for who we are. That could happen for you and Kevin, too."

"But you just said Kevin wasn't even sure of his own feelings yet."

She shrugged, "maybe that's the best time to tell him. I mean, either way he will be thinking about it. It could either lead him to the decision that he likes you, too. Or that he doesn't. But even if he doesn't, wouldn't you just be okay knowing that you told him?"

I nodded, "I feel like if I tell him, and he doesn't accept my feelings, that it would be easier for me to move on and find someone else who likes me just as much as I like them."

Nazz giggled, "seems like you wouldn't have too far to go. You just said that Eddy has feelings for you. But, then I have known that for a few years now."

I almost fell off the sing. "You knew?"

"Oh yeah. A lot of people know, even at school. Come on, Double D. He is always following you around and tucking you under his arm the minute someone gets too close to you. He's very over protective. To be honest though, I don't know how well you two would do together. Seems like you would be subdued and I don't think you want that."

"No I would rather be free to do as I please in the relationship and be able to talk to whoever I wanted without my other thinking I was cheating. I want them to be able to trust me and be there for me what I need them. Kevin is strong willed, hearted, and just overall physically strong. I feel like he would be able to take care of me and protect me, but also still let me be my own person."

"Oh he would." I looked at her and she looked at me. "Well, before I came out we used to date, remember? He's a very laid back person, but he can be there for you when you need him to. But, that was with me. With you, I think it would be different."

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, all the jocks would surely be all over both of you. There are some jocks that are gay and would possibly take advantage of knowing you are, too. So I have a feeling that you would be glued to his hip the whole time."

"How is that any different from the Eddy scenario," my eye twitched at the thought.

"Oh it's not," she giggled. "Both Kevin and Eddy will be very over protective of you. I think the only difference is, Kevin would actually be able to protect you. The other different I could possibly say to be true is that he would trust you more than Eddy does. He would give you free reign to do as you pleased, but the moment he felt something was off he would have an arm around your waist tugging you close."

I took a deep breath and thought about it. It would be nice if the jocks actually backed off from time to time. And she did have a point. I had heard from Kevin that a couple of the guys on his team liked to fool around in the lockers after everyone had left. The thought made my stomach churn. Would they want to do those kinds of things to me if they found out I wasn't interested in girls? It didn't really make sense. Why would they want to mess around with someone they didn't even like? Someone they liked to tease on almost a daily basis?

I really couldn't answer that question because I got distracted by another. Would Kevin want me to do those things with him? It wasn't like I didn't know what was supposed to happen. I had done some research into it but never attempted to try anything.

"In any case," Nazz pulled me from thought. "I think you should tell Kevin."

"Tell me what?"

I jerked my attention away from Nazz to see Kevin, his hands in his pockets, walking towards us. What was I going to do?!