Chapter 11 - Training

BPOV

Edward was staring at me like I was an alien. I knew it, I should never have let Alice dress me.

"I forgot to ask about a dress code." I said, my cheeks flushing. "I tried to go... casual Coyote Ugly."

"Woot! Dude, Eddie you gotta let her dancin' on the bar!" Emmett crowed.

Edward's head snapped around so fast, I heard a crack. The look on his face was furious. "Emmett fucking McCarty-Cullen Do NOT call me Eddie!" HE snarled.

McCarty-Cullen? Emmett and Edward are related?

"Wow... I don't think I've ever heard you growl quite like that Edward." Jasper said. At his words the tension seemed to slowly melt from the room. Note to self, never call Mr. Cullen 'Eddie'.

"Well Isabella, are you ready for your training?" Edward turned his gaze to me. All the fury gone.

"Bella, please, Mr. Cullen." I replied.

"Alright, Well Isabella, so long as you insist on being formal with me, you will be Isabella. So call me Edward, if you don't mind."

There was a small hint of annoyance in his tone that made me want to snap to a salute. Instead I moved my eyes to the floor, letting my hair form a curtain between us.

I heard him sigh softly, "Alright Bella, let's get to work. Jasper is going to teach you how to deal with customers. Emmett will be your typical drunk. And I'll be the skit director."

I felt Jasper's hand lightly brush my shoulder. "The first drink I want to teach you to make is called a bloody soldier."

"Is it like a bloody mary?" I asked.

"Not even close. A Bloody Soldier is a fruity cocktail." He pulled out a bottle of POM pomegranate juice and a jar of cocktail cherries. I looked at Jasper's tight smile and laughed.

"With Vodka right?" I asked, imagining how it might taste.

"No, actually, white rum."

"That sounds really nice." I replied. Almost able to taste the flavor on my tongue.

"It is very nice. It's Edward's personal favorite." Jasper grinned at me before throwing a smirk over my shoulder, to a now scoffing Edward.

"This is a jigger." Emmett said, very slowly, as if I were 12. Jasper grumbled at him, and grabbed the glass accoutrement from him.

"As the oaf stated, this is a double sided jigger, A bloody soldier requires two shots on the eighth. The smaller side."

He pulled a cocktail glass from under the bar and poured two jiggers into the glass. "Always pour the liquor in first." he instructed.

"Yep," Emmett smiled. "Like Willy Wonka says 'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.'"

Edward threw a dirty rag at Emmett's head, as I watched Jasper chuckle and drop the cherries into the rum.

"So that's the order then? Rum, cherries, POM?"

"You got it. And that's a Bloody Soldier."

"Sounds simple enough."

Jasper offered my the glass to try it. "A bartender should always know how her cocktails taste." He insisted.

Gingerly I took a sip and groaned. It was really good. The sweetness of the cherry dulled the sour bitterness of the pomegranate, and made the rum seem almost stronger in flavor.

"At least I'm not the only one who likes it anymore." Edward's voice sounded thick, and husky. He quickly cleared his throat and took the rest of the drink right out my hand I made a small sound of protest but he shook his head. "Trainees only get a sip." he explained. "You have a good number of drinks to mix a sip before we open tonight."

"Which is why I'm you bar scum for now." Emmett said smirking. "Now wench! Make my a slippery nipple!"

Edward coughed into his bloody soldier and turned darkened eyes on Emmett. "Boy, it may be your day off, and you may be my brother, but if you call Bella names, I'm not going to stop her when she's taking you down."

I felt a spark of pride, remembering pinning that asshat to the table and threatening him with my darkest Reneé impersonation.

"Besides, you're simply a bar scum dummy." I answered, I blushed as Emmett blanched. "You know, like a crash test dummy only..."

"Dumber?" Jasper supplied with a laugh.

"Uglier?" Edward followed.

I felt like sinking into the ground, to escape Emmett's glare. "I was going to say 'more chatty' gentlemen. But since you're so adamant in providing adjectives for your friend and brother here, I'll let you take over." Good save Bella.

"Oooh Louder..." Edward bobbed his head in sage agreement.

"Yeah? Well if you were a dummy.... you'd... you'd..." Brawny Emmett was at a loss for words.

"You're not gonna call the boss a dummy are you Em?" Jas asked, handing me a notebook full of cocktail recipes, which I gladly took to hide behind.

"I can call my brother whatever I want. After all it is my day off." Emmett sniffed unhappily. "Don't make me start on the gay bartender jokes Jazzy-boy."

I raised a questioning eyebrow before Edward started to explain. "Jasper's mother insisted he take tap lesson in high school. All the kids began calling him Jazz, and Jazzy apparently."

"He didn't mind the name calling, until they started with the gay connotations. "Jazz-Hands Jasper! Oh. My. God! I heard you gave Davian Roach a hand job in the locker room!" Funny as hell Bella, lemme tell ya, Jazzy here began compensating for the name calling by sleeping with everything that had a vagina!"

"Or so stated the rumors this fucker started!" Jasper growled.

I cleared my throat and read through the binder, thankful for an eidetic memory which was clearly going to make this job much easier.

The rest of the passed about the same. Emmett began telling alcohol addled tales of high school with Jasper. I humored him, laughed at his bad jokes, and pushed bread at him when it was obvious that he had had too much to drink.

"But maaaan... Jazzy... yer sister, bro... she like.. mmm." He hummed, his eyes were glazed over,

Jasper's shoulders stiffened and he walked into the back. I felt Edward's eye on me as I pulled Emmett's half empty glass away. "Oi... tha's mine."

"No way Em, that's bar property. I'm cutting you off. As much as I love you I don't want to be subjected to your lurid fantasies about my friend."

"Hands off m'glass."

"Nope." I swiftly moved toward the sink and dropped the glass in the hot soapy water.

"No more liquor for Emmett tonight." Edward said with a sigh, patting my shoulder in an approving manner. "Bella you go ahead and get something to eat. I'm going to take my idiot brother home.

Emmett was still muttering things about Rosalie.

"You want a hand getting the lush to your car?" I asked, noticing Edward's neck straining as he lifted his brother.

"No, but thank Bella. You've been subjected to way too much. You go eat. The doors open in two hours. I may be a little late. Jasper will get things started."

I nodded and grabbed the cocktail binder and headed for the back door.

"I'm going for some food. You want me to bring you something back?" I asked Jasper.

"Nar, I'm good Bella. Good job today. I'll see you in a couple hours."

"Okay... call me if you change your mind."

"Will do."

O 


Emmett the lush. I think I'm more in love with his adorableness than ever!

Check out her work for popsicle molestation á la Bella!