After composing themselves and getting cleaned up, Callie and Arizona began work, both anxious for an opportunity to really talk. Neither had much clarity; all either woman knew for sure was that they wanted to give their relationship another shot.
Later in the afternoon, Arizona found Callie pouring herself a cup of coffee in the Attending's lounge. Closing the door quietly behind her, Arizona cocked her head to the side, watching Callie from behind.
"God, remember how hard it was for you to give up coffee when you were pregnant?" Arizona asked, causing Callie to turn around.
"Ugh, yes," Callie smiled. "That was torture."
The two women stood facing each other silently, jittery and nervous in the way one is with a new crush.
"So…" Arizona said, mock-distractedly playing with her ID tag.
"So…" Callie echoed.
"I was thinking maybe tonight we can get together and talk. About what all this means."
"Yeah, I'd like that," Callie smiled.
"And let's not… tell anyone about this yet," Arizona said, biting her lip. "Especially not Lily. Not until we're sure it's going to work out."
"No, right. Yeah. Of course," Callie agreed, as though that were the obvious choice, even though a part of her felt hurt that Arizona wasn't confident that their relationship would work. "So, do you want to stop by the house tonight after I put Lily to sleep?" she asked.
"Yeah, that sounds good," Arizona smiled, flashing her dimples before turning and reaching for the door handle.
But, on second thought, she spun on her heels and took the few small steps to Callie, leaning up to place a small, soft kiss on her cheek.
.
By the time Arizona got to Callie's it was a little after ten. As she took out her key to let herself in (as she'd always done), she suddenly felt conflicted. If she and Callie were going to try dating, surely the rules were going to have to change. They would have to set new boundaries.
Knocking softly, she waited on the door step for an answer.
Callie opened the door with a puzzled look on her face.
"Why are you knocking?" she whispered, stepping aside for Arizona to pass. The blonde shrugged bashfully.
"Just something I'm trying."
Callie led Arizona to the living room, the TV softly humming in the background.
"Sorry I'm so late," Arizona said, hanging her jacket on the back of a kitchen chair. "I had a six-year-old come in with a burst appendix and Stark 'doesn't work nights'," she imitated.
"No, that's okay. I figured. You want some wine? A beer?"
"Do you have that red I like?" Arizona asked.
"Yes," Callie said, shaking her head as if to say: obviously.
Arizona took a seat on the couch while she waiting for Callie, letting herself sink into its cushions. It seemed unfathomable that so much had happened in one day; just that morning she was sitting at the front of Lily's classroom. And later, kissing Callie. Her whole life had seemingly changed direction in just 12 hours.
She picked her head up as Callie approached, handing her a glass of wine and sitting beside her.
"What a day," Callie said, taking a sip from her glass before placing it on the end table.
"I was just thinking the same thing."
Callie tucked her knees up underneath her, turning to face Arizona.
"I really want to kiss you again," Callie said, unable to keep the words from tumbling out of her mouth.
"Okay," Arizona shrugged, smiling.
She let Callie lean across the couch towards her, softly kissing her again. Only this time the gentle nature of their kiss was short-lived, quickly giving way to something much more heated. Arizona blindly sought out the coffee table beside her, bluntly setting her wine glass on it without breaking the kiss. She climbed to her knees on the couch, palming Callie's cheeks and lifting her face upwards to meet her own.
Arizona felt Callie's hands smoothing over her denim-clad hips; she slid her tongue into the warmth of Callie's mouth as she felt hands creeping up the back of her shirt. Arizona's moan buzzed against Callie's lips as Callie inched her strong hands up the bare expanse of the blonde's back. As Callie lightly raked her nails down the sides of her spine, Arizona couldn't help but pull out of the kiss. Her head lolled back, a hiss escaping her lips at the sensation of Callie's hands on her.
Neck now exposed, Callie frenziedly attached her lips to Arizona's pulse, sucking. Biting. She slid her tongue along the line of Arizona's jaw before tugging the blonde back into a kiss.
"Oh God," Arizona said between kisses, her body on complete sensory overload. "Wait," she said jaggedly. "Wait." She pulled away from Callie apprehensively, trying to control herself. "Talk," she mumbled, almost incoherently. "We should talk."
Callie finally opened her eyes, reluctantly removing her hands from the back of Arizona's shirt. "Right," she agreed, running her fingers across her own bruised lips. "Talk. Talk is good, too. Let's do that."
Arizona rearranged herself on the couch, putting a few inches between herself and the woman she found absolutely irresistible. She took a fairly generous sip of her wine, trying to cool herself off.
"Calliope, you know my first instinct is to just jump right into this with you. But… given the circumstances, I don't think that's the best thing for either of us. I want it to work, I want this to be forever," she said, her voice pleading with Callie to believe in that truth.
"I do, too," Callie responded, seeking out Arizona's hand on the couch next to her.
"I just need to go slow," Arizona said. "I think if we really take our time, work on ourselves, work on our relationship, then we can figure out if this is the right thing for us."
"I agree, but…" Callie said hesitantly. "Don't you think we've wasted enough time apart?"
"Of course I do. But I don't want us to be reckless, Callie. I don't want to just jump right in where we left off. I'm so afraid of what will happen if we can't make it work again. I don't think our friendship can survive another breakup. And I can't imagine losing Lily…" Arizona said, her voice wavering.
"Arizona, no matter what happens, I would never take Lily away from you."
"You say that now, but breakups can make people really fucking bitter. No one knows that better than us."
"I won't keep you from Lily. I can promise you that right now," Callie said. "I haven't even considered the possibility that this won't work out."
"But you have to, Calliope. It fell apart before, it can fall apart again," Arizona reasoned.
"It fell apart before because you jumped on a plane to Africa," Callie said cuttingly.
"And then you slept with someone else and had his child," she countered.
Callie shook her head and looked away, emotions bubbling to the surface that she thought she'd dealt with long ago.
"Can we just edit out that last bit?" Arizona asked softly, no trace of the venom in her voice from a minute ago. "I don't want to fight. Especially over things we've fought over so much already."
"I don't either," Callie sighed. "Can we just start fresh? No more fighting about the things that happened years ago; it isn't fair for us to keep opening those wounds."
"Deal," Arizona said, shaking Callie's hand, and then holding on to it. "So, we're dating?" she smiled.
"Dating," Callie agreed. "And it just so happens that Mark has Lily this Saturday. So… would you like to go out with me?" she asked timidly, like a teenager.
"I'd love to," Arizona smiled, leaning in to give Callie a soft kiss on the lips. Sealing the deal.
Exhausted from her day, Arizona laid her head against Callie's shoulder. They absently watched the faint glow of the TV as Callie stroked her hair.
.
On Saturday night, Arizona dabbed a little extra perfume on her pulse points.
Callie put on that red dress that Arizona was always complimenting (though always platonically) and some chandelier earrings for good measure.
They drove an extra 20 minutes out of their way to ensure some privacy from their friends and colleagues. Arizona picked the place.
"A jazz club?" Callie questioned, smiling. "You're going in for the kill so soon?" Callie was a sucker for a jazz, and Arizona was obviously privy to that.
"I aim to please," she said coyly, linking her arm through Callie's and leading her into the restaurant. Arizona had managed to get them a table fairly close to the stage, despite it being so crowded.
After they ordered their meals, they sat contentedly across from one another, talking about their day. Eventually, Arizona asked:
"So, are we supposed to have a different kind of conversation now? I mean, isn't this the same as all the other times you and I have gone out to dinner?"
"It's way different," Callie answered. "For one, no five-year-old," she said, ticking off on her fingers. "I can picture you naked without having to mentally chastise myself; I can openly flirt with you, you can openly flirt with me…"
"So the lady wants flirting," Arizona smiled coquettishly. "Like if I tell you how unbelievably sexy you look like that dress?"
"Oh you like it?" Callie asked, playing dumb.
"You know I do. Every time you wear it, it takes all of my restraint not to touch you."
"You never told me that," Callie said seriously.
"I wasn't supposed to."
.
After their meal and some libations, Callie led Arizona to the small dance floor beneath the stage.
"The only reason I'm letting you make me dance is because I can't resist being so close to you," Arizona said.
"Whatever works," Callie chuckled. "But come on, can you really deny this music? It's so… sexy." Callie pulled the blonde into her, wrapping her arm around her waist.
Arizona melted into the embrace, letting Callie's rhythm flow through her limbs. Closing her eyes, she realized that the soulful music coming from the instruments overhead really was sexy. Or maybe it was Callie that was making this moment so. Her whole body tingled from the thrill of Callie holding her so tightly.
"Calliope," she whispered, slowly opening her eyes to meet Callie's. She slid her hands purposefully down the Latina's sides, clutching at the fabric of her dress. "You're so beautiful."
And she said this breathlessly, said it in such a way that left no doubt in Callie's mind that she meant it. It had been something Callie had missed over the years – being told she was beautiful. And not as a passing comment or a nicety, but in the heartfelt and sincere way that Arizona used to say it.
Callie's lips crossed the short distance between her and Arizona, finding the blonde's mouth and kissing her passionately.
That night the women reluctantly parted ways, remaining firm in their painful decision to go slow. Yet as they lay in their separate beds, and unbeknownst to the other, both women attended to the unrelenting heat of their frustration.