Kyoko's knuckles turned white as she made a fist, bracing herself. She held her breath and stood rigidly still while she waited for his answer. As if in slow motion, she watched as Tsuruga-san stiffen. His whole body tensed into a rigid line as her meaning pierced through his heart. He stared at her for a long moment, his jaw clenched tightly, then he leaned back against a table and closed his eyes. His right hand tightly gripping his left wrist where his watch now circled.

Instantly, she could tell that he was battling within himself. Did she just make the biggest mistake of her life? In a paralysis of fear, she waited, watching him. It seemed like an eternity before he reluctantly straightened. His eyes flickered open, meeting hers. And Kyoko's heart gave a wild leap.

When he spoke, his voice was tempered and filled with strain, "Kyoko, you have mistaken me for something that I should not be, we will discuss this tomorrow."

Kyoko's eyes welled up with tears as she watched him walk briskly away.

Ren sat alone and still in his car. As he fired up the engine of his Porsche, his heart continued to race wildly. Never in a thousand years would he have believed that Kyoko would have asked him that question. His mind played that magical image over and over, torturing him with its sweetness and a cold sweat broke out, over his body in response.

Madly, intensely, he wanted to turn back, to race back to her side, to hug her and hold her. He wanted her that badly. He would have done anything to answer yes to her question but, how could he? He did not deserve her! She was an un-spoilt and clean soul, as refreshing as a spring morning after the rain. While he was a cursed soul that had spent his youth in misery, and in a self-destructive mode. His careless contemptuous nature was responsible for the death of his own best friend. A man like him who had a past that was so blackened with death and destruction did not warrant any love and happiness.

Wasn't that the reason he had fled to Japan? If not to escape his very own vile history? How could a monster like him be entitled to happiness, when he had robbed Rick of his life? His hand clenched the stirring wheel tightly, as he drove home. His heart ached with a pain that almost drove him back into his darkness. Forcibly he pounded down on the acceleration of his car and heard the engine roar, as if in protest, as the car sped up.

He stole the life of a good man, so he must give up his life for that. A life for a life. In this lifetime, he must live as if he were already dead, that was his curse towards himself. He must not have an intimate relationship, he did not deserve to have an important someone to fall in love with, especially because of who he had become. He had striven so far and hard to be that changed man, he cannot fail now. He can not forgive himself that easily. He must not feel happiness, in order to repay Rick for his worthless life. He must put to death his own desires and want, only this way is he truly sacrificing himself, in the manner of a life for a life. It was a just punishment for his crime of murder.

Even now, when he knew he should be nothing more than a soulless cursed creature, he still desperately wanted her. With everything in his being he wanted her.

But let her go, let her go, his subconscious kept repeating towards him.

Don't take this beautiful girl and defile her with your rotten dead soul. Keep your promise to yourself and live your life in repentance for the sin you have committed against Rick! You stole away his happiness; therefore, you must forfeit your happiness. Stay true to your curse.

Rick, what should I do? Ren asked in desperation. But there was no answer to his plea. His eyes flashed with a bright gleam. He already knew what he needed to do but his nature was built up of two opposing forces. While Ren was selfless, Kuon was selfish.

If God would allow him this one precious moment to fix this, then he would be able to do the right thing. Please help me. He found himself pleading but once again, he could hear nothing except for the longing in his spirit.

Kyoko woke up numb the next morning. Her body felt heavy and lifeless as she went through the motions of her day. Her daily routine kept her hands and body busy but her heart felt broken and empty. Even getting ready in the morning was a chore and seemed more burdensome than normal.

As she reached for her bag to step out of her room, her telephone rang softly. Reacting as if she were scorched by fire, Kyoko dropped her beg and jumped away. Was it him calling? Her heart began to race wildly in her chest. Her face brightened momentarily as she snatched her phone up, in a near panic state.

"Kyoko! Are you ok?" Kanae gasped, when she heard her call being picked up.

Kyoko smothered a raise of hysterical laughter at her best friend's question. Was it that obvious to everyone what had happened to her last night?

As if things couldn't get any worse, her emotions chose that moment to go overboard, and uncontrollably, she choked out, "He walked out on me! He did it while I… after I…confessed."

Kanae closed her eyes in sympathy at Kyoko's words. Her own heart had ached all night long over what she had witness last night. She had watched Kyoko whisper a few words to Ren. Though she could not hear those words, but guessing from the adoration on Kyoko's face, she had assumed it was a confession.

But what followed left Kanae in utter shock, she watched as he blanched and struggled momentarily, as if fighting himself. And while Kanae and Yashiro were quick to assume that something good was about to happen because of what they suspected was a special moment between Tsuruga-san and Kyoko, so that they even confidently smiled at each other, Kanae was completely horrified at what occurred instead.

Without any warning, after speaking briefly with Kyoko, Ren stormed out, in what seemed like a hurry, leaving everyone suspiciously wondering what had transpired. While several moments later, Kyoko left quietly, leaving everyone suspiciously wondering the exact same thing. Only Yashiro and Kanae seemed to have a small inkling of what could have ensued between the two actors, while the rest of the party seemed utterly baffled.

But after hearing Kyoko's words today, Kanae's suspicion was put to rest, and she was absolutely certain of what had happened. With this knowledge, came responsibility, and no matter what, she was determined to not allow Kyoko to wallow in this pain alone.

But the pain that Kyoko felt was not anything she had ever experienced. Even those hurtful moments with Sho had not felt like this. She had only felt injured those times, as if she were bleeding from a wound but this time she felt different…

As if reading her mind, Kanae asked, "How do you feel?"

"I'm not sure. I don't really understand this myself," Kyoko answered.

"Tell me what happened," Kanae prompted, "Start from the beginning."

"It all started with that kiss," Kyoko's words trailed off as she thought about how everything began.

For a long moment she was quiet, then slowly, she began to open up, "I thought that if I was a mature woman, then I would be able to remain composed even if I was kissed but instead, I fell apart, regardless of how hard I tried, it kept happening. Then after we spoke, I was sure that confessing was the best next step but he told me that I had mistaken him for something that he should not be and that he would discuss this with me tomorrow. But I'm not sure what he means and I'm just so scared. I don't want things to go wrong but I think that it's already happened and I can't fix things to fit in with him. Maybe this time he's really mad."

An alarm went off in Kanae's head at Kyoko's words. Why would Kyoko feel this way? How long has she been like this? Frowning deeply, Kanae responded, "You don't need to conform yourself to suit others. There is no point in being human, if you lead a life influenced by others. It's fine to want to become mature but be true to yourself…take good care of the pure side of yourself."

Kyoko hiccupped as she cried out bitterly, "But I don't feel like I have anything pure within me anymore. I have been used first by Sho, made into a dirty rag and carelessly thrown out. That left a hole in my heart, so I tried to lock away my heart but that last lock was opened by Tsuruga-san and now I don't just have a huge gap in my heart, but I feel even more empty."

Shaking her head, Kanae said, "Kyoko, I think you have gone through a lot but let me share some of my knowledge with you."

"En," Kyoko nodded her head.

Sighing deeply, Kanae gently continued, "As a child, people are filled with love by their parents. That love keeps them whole, so that they don't need anything else. But as they grow older, they begin to realize that their parents are not perfect, so that fullness that they once had begins to break apart. To fix it, they start to look for someone else to fill up that space otherwise it gets wider until they become empty. Maybe in your case, your parents weren't there, so you substituted them with Sho. Even if this is the case, the truth is the emptiness cannot be filled up by anyone person. It's something that you must complete all by yourself. That's why your character is so important. Being comfortable and learning to accept yourself for who you are is the only way you won't keep feeling empty anymore. Wanting to be mature should be about developing that comfort with yourself and not about becoming sexual."

A tear ran down Kyoko's cheek as she listened to Kanae's explanation. Had she always searched for someone to fill that empty void? Was that why she had always given her all, even until the point of acting like a fool for her love? It was the case for Sho but had she started to repeat this mistake for Tsuruga-san? Did he become aware of that? Was that why he had said to her she had mistaken him for something that he should not be? Kyoko felt a deep sense of shame at her weak personality. Kanae was right. She needed to mature and she needed to do it the right way.

Hanging up the phone, Kyoko felt a lot better. She resolved herself to trying harder at becoming comfortable with whom she was. Today, no matter what may come, she would act in a mature way, as fitting someone who has failed once and must learn from her mistake while trying again.

Ren sat comfortably in the chair as he waited for Miss Woods to complete the finishing touches to his appearance. His face was serious as he sincerely apologized, "Miss Woods, thank you again for helping me today. I really am sorry for inconveniencing you."

Ten winced when she heard the formality in his speech, "How many times must I tell you to call me Ten? Must I make my darling talk to you about that?"

When Ren smiled weakly, Ten continued, "Also, you can always count on me to change your appearance, so you don't need to worry about inconveniencing me, as if such a thing can really occur. But tell me, why do you want to go back to this image, I thought you were done travelling for Tragic Marker?"

Ren pretended that nothing was amiss as he smiled brightly and answered cheerfully, "Ten, it's just that I feel like it's easier to get around when I am disguised as this person."

Ten scrunched up her face, as she remarked, "Can it be, your fans won't leave you alone, so then you must do this?"

Shaking his head, Ren reassured her, "No, it's not so bad as that, but I think now is the right time to be whom I'm supposed to be."

"Be who you are supposed to be? Do you intend to leave behind who you have been for the last few years? Ren is that a good idea?" Ten asked, as she worried over his decision.

"No, it's not that. I think you have misunderstood me. It's just better for me to be this person just for today then," Ren winked at her, while he tried to assuage her worry.

Realizing that Ren was not going to tell her his true reasons for changing his appearance, Ten pretended to dismiss the issue. Although this was probably none of her business anyway, a small voice in her was warning her that something was wrong.

Also, Ren never had wanted to look this way. Most of the time he would reject his natural hair color, so why now the sudden change?

Cautioning herself not to be too nosy, Ten decided that even if she never finds out why Ren wants to transform back to his original image, she should still let her darling Lory know about today.

Sho watched with a smirk curling up his lips when he spotted Kyoko walk out from the studio. Quickly jumping out from his friend's car, he made his way up to intercept her. "Kyoko," he called out to her as he reached her side.

Glancing over her shoulder, Kyoko stopped in midstride when she saw Sho. What could this idiot want from her now? Of all days for him to show up, why did he have to show up today, when she had spent the whole day on set and was tired, not only from work but also from her chaotic emotions concerning Tsuruga-san.

All day, she had jumped every time her cellphone had rung, expecting it to be him and being disappointed when it wasn't. On the one hand, her insides were twisted up into a tight knot while she waited for him to call her, on the other hand, she was just as anxious that his call would signify the end of his relationship with her.

Sho noticed the sudden fear in her expression, stepping up to her, his voice was filled with concern. "Kyoko, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

This was the second time today that someone noticed that Kyoko was upset. Was she so incapable of hiding her feelings? Trying harder to compose herself, Kyoko was annoyed as she asked, "What are you doing here?"

All traces of fear vanished from Kyoko's face and Sho breathed a sigh of relief. Whatever, it was that had scared Kyoko had rapidly disappeared, so then it couldn't have really been that dreadful. Sho smiled. Taking a firm hold of Kyoko's wrist, he began to drag her towards the parked car. "My mother is here today and wants to see you. I promised her that I would fetch you, so don't struggle and just come with me."

Tension left Kyoko's face at the mention of Sho's mother. Yayoi-san had always treated Kyoko well and the idea that she was in town cheered her up. For the first time all day, Kyoko finally smiled, "Is she in the car?"

"Nope, she's waiting for us at a restaurant nearby, so are you going to come or not?" as usual, Sho's tone was harsh as he impatiently waited from Kyoko to decide.

Weary that Sho was playing a trick on her, Kyoko's smile turned cruel as she threatened, "She had better be there Shoutaro, because if not, you will pay dearly for wasting my time."

Kuon was headed up to Kyoko whom he saw exiting the studio when a familiar voice caught his attention.

"Hey you, where do you think you are going looking like that?" Lory asked when he spotted the blond actor.

Glancing over his shoulder, Kuon watched as the president made his way towards him. What was Lory doing here. Guessing that it had something to do with Miss Woods, Kuon gritted his teeth in frustration. "Boss, whatever your reasons are for finding me here today, you don't need to concern yourself."

Even as Kuon finished his words, he could tell that Lory was no longer paying any attention to him. Staring off to the side, the president's lips were twisted into a sly smile as he stared off into a direction behind him. Following the direction of Lory's vision, Kuon watched as Kyoko smiled brightly at Sho then followed him towards a nearby parked car.

His eyes became slits of ice as the car drove pass him and the president. He watched with grim satisfaction as Kyoko's smile vanished when her eyes locked on to his. How could this happen? Where was she off to? And with that guy again? Didn't he already caution her about being with that person? Why would she go off alone with him, especially one day after confessing her feelings to him? Kuon's face darkened in anger.

"Come, we need to talk," Lory said as he rested a comforting hand on Kuon's shoulder.

Kyoko's heart began to race rapidly, as the car drove away. Just now, did she just see Corn and the president standing next to each other? But how could that be possible? Wasn't Corn a fairy? Shouldn't it have been Tsuruga-san with the president? It didn't make sense that they would be standing side by side together. Even in her exhausted condition, Corn's bright blond hair glistened like the sun in the late afternoon. She couldn't have been mistaken. Furthermore, she had even made eye contact with him as the car drove away.

Those bright green eyes were filled with the same cold look that Tsuruga-san had given her when they were outside the club last night. What was the meaning of this? Her mind drew a blank as she struggled to make sense of her confusion.

Kyoko, you have mistaken me for something that I should not be, we will discuss this tomorrow.

Somehow at that precise moment, Tsuruga-san's words, sprung back into her mind. Kyoko's eyes widen in shock. Could this actually mean that Tsuruga-san and Corn are the same person?

A/N: Hi everyone, hope you are enjoying my story so far. Despite Kyoko's tendency to believe in fairies, there are times when her perceptions are also on point. Also, Ren grips his wrist when he struggles with Rick's death. I know the suspense is building as things start to unfold, so please share your thoughts with me.

For those of you interested:

Ren's feelings where he can't have a love in also repeated in SB Ch 65, Ch 188 and Ch 202.

He curses himself in SB Ch 208 about the matter as well.

In SB Ch 165 and Ch 167, Rick's death severely impacts Ren.