Heyyyoooo Minna-san~!
Sorry for the slight delay- bows-
But kinda lots of stuff happened like- my lover broke up with me and stuff- T^T
So yeahhh the mood for some Shizaya was kinda low haha cx
But now I´m alrighty again :3 *0* Ready for some Shizaya shit xD I shall hurry to finish chapter 34 as well x'D but for now hey hey heyyy~ take this~! C:
I hope you will like this chapter cx
And thank you all so much for your lovely reviews~! Cx you are so nice and lovely hehe cx
Also, thank you very much Guest 2 Cx I was trying to write this in the best realistic way as I could, so I was really really, REALLY damn happy when you wrote all that ;/; Thank you very much~! Cx Also, it inspired me greatly for this chapter hehe
And don´t worry, Shizuo will make up for all the bullshit he said :3 ;3
And special thanks to my lovely lovely beta who corrected this for me *^* Thank you very much~! cx
Enjoy~!
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ஜ Chapter 10: Too much to take ஜ
-Shizuo´s point of view-
He watched the liquid roll down Izaya's cheek. Silence had struck him and the words he was about to say were suddenly stuck.
He swallowed, feeling as if needles constricted his throat.
He had made Izaya cry.
It wasn´t like he particularly cared about that flea; he still hated him, of course, but the image, the scene unfolding in front of him -Izaya actually crying- and knowing it was his fault…-
Shit-
He really meant those words; he 100 percent meant them.
But now he couldn´t help but think…. that he had said something very wrong-
Hesitantly, Shizuo reached out, stepping forward- he didn´t even know what to do, he just wanted to reverse what he had said.
"… Iza-"
"DON'T TOUCH ME!"
The blond almost flinched at the loudness of Izaya´s voice. The calm and controlled flea with his stupid smirk had never yelled at him before. That stupid flea had never cried in front of him before-
Now he was standing there; looking at the floor instead of him, as little pearls of tears dropped to the ground.
He didn´t know what to do.
"… just shut up." The whisper reached Shizuo´s ears softly and he noticed how Izaya´s fists had tightened next to his body.
Shizuo frowned, but not in anger or displease like he usually did. This time, he frowned because of his own damn stupidity.
"Izaya… I-"
"..Shut up..." The raven suddenly tilted his head up, finally looking at the blond's face.
He was glaring, he really was glaring with all his might, Shizuo could tell, but it did close to nothing to hide how hurt he was.
The way his brows furrowed in an attempt to hide the pain did nothing at all.
His lips were pale and blackness - from lack of sleep- was surrounding his, now, slightly reddish eyes.
The tears dripping down Izaya´s pale cheeks only made him look even sicker than he did in that alley.
Yeah… sick…
Only then something seemed to finally click in Shizuo´s mind.
Izaya didn´t look sick- he was sick.
Until now, he had failed to see that Izaya was actually suffering from something that he couldn´t control. He thought, if he had just said something right or if he snapped the flea out of it or asked the right question, he would return to his usual asshole self.
He had failed to see… that Izaya was sick.
This wasn´t just some stupid mindset or belief that he hung onto... this was something beyond his control.
The more he started to think about it, the more he started to feel worse for what he had said.
He had basically yelled at a person for being ill. He had actually blamed him for this…
Fuck-
"Izaya." He started to mumble, still looking at the flea in front of him. "Izaya, I didn´t mean that."
He really didn´t, but he had no clue how to fix this now.
"Why not, Shizu-chan?" Shizuo blinked at the question. And then, the flea started smiling.
The corners of his mouth moved upwards, creating the bitterest smile he had ever seen.
"Haha…" a slight giggle left the raven´s lips, sending chills down Shizuo´s spine as he looked at the raven´s broken expression.
"You were right, you know." The smile lessened a little, revealing more of Izaya´s broken state of mind as he continued. The tears were still glittering in his pained eyes as they met Shizuo's… "See now why it´s best for me to die?"
Shizuo couldn´t take the sight in front of him.
He said he was going to fix the flea.
He would fix him-
He had to fix him.
… but he had no idea how to help-
He had never felt this helpless in his whole life before.
"Seriously, think about it-" the raven shrugged, closing his eyes for a brief second, making another teardrop fall to the floor.
"Just look at how fucked up I am!" he lifted his hands into the air as if to present himself- looking at the blond again. "I have all these things, my huge apartment, influence in the city, loads of money and yet I´m like this." He let the arms drop next to his body again, the smile leaving his expression completely.
"An ungrateful piece of shit as you would probably put it."
Shizuo frowned, suddenly stepping forward, towards the raven. Izaya didn´t even move this time. He had lost the interest to even try and do anything against what the blond had in mind.
They were almost close enough to touch while Shizuo was still struggling for words.
"Izaya I didn´t mean that, I just-"suddenly, loud laughter startled both of them.
Shizuo stopped in his tracks and Izaya let his glance travel to (one of) the front doors.
A group of young teenagers had entered the building. Four of them. Probably not older than 17.
"And so, I told that dude that I-"
"Oi, aren´t that Orihara and Heiwajima?!" One of the guys wearing a yellow scarf yelled that, interrupting his fellow friend.
Shizuo clicked his tongue, a vein already popping on his forehead- he had no fucking idea why, but those boys suddenly pissed him off a great deal for fucking interrupting-
And then he froze entirely.
He had been about to take a step towards the group, when he noticed something move next to him.
Move away-
But his eyes were only fast enough to see the second front door fall back into its hinges-
Izaya-
Almost at the speed of lighting, almost making him slip on the tiled floor, he dashed to the door, pushing it open so violently, it crashed into the wall as it swung open- spotting his enemy down the street-
The raven- was running.
"IZAYA!" Instantly, the blond dashed after the flea-
Why was he even running away?!
He followed him with his eyes, watching him jump on top of a building´s window banks, heaving himself on top of them with his parkour skills-
And followed him as quick as he could-
Fuck! Why was he running away again?!
Why wouldn't he let him help him?! He had no idea how, he didn´t know what to say or do- but FUCK.
That stupid smartass bastard surely knew of a way; he must know something Shizuo could do, even if he himself didn´t-!
He didn´t want Izaya to die! He realized that the day before yesterday! He hated him, he fucking hated this bastard, but he didn´t want him to die-!
Seriously, why did that guy have to decide now that he wanted to take his life?!
Panting, he dashed after the raven, followed him on top of buildings, running from roof to roof, then down again, onto the streets- just running, running at high speed-
Why was he running away from him?!
Just why-
And that´s when sudden realization hit him hard.
He knew why Izaya was running away.
That wasn´t a secret, he didn´t know why he didn´t want his help, but he knew why he was running away.
To finish what he started-
But that wasn´t even what he noticed.
Dread filled his senses and his blood ran cold during his run as he noticed a single thing.
He never managed to catch Izaya.
He felt as if someone just punched him into the stomach-
The flea was getting farther away-
This time- if he didn´t catch the flea this time-
An incredible sense of fear suddenly invaded his senses as he watched the crowds fly past him on his chase.
If he didn´t catch him now… he would never get to chase him ever again!
"IZAYA!" his lungs were already burning and craving for breath as the flea moved even farther away from him-
"IZAYA!"
He was losing him-
"IZAYAAA!"
*SCREETCH*
Pain suddenly hit him hard from the side and threw him onto the street. He hadn´t even noticed the honking car that was driving towards him before it hit his side-
Before he knew it, he found himself on the ground again-
But it didn´t even take a second to stand up again, to ignore that bastard that was getting out of his car now-
Because his eyes had spotted Izaya.
Just one shopping complex apart from an alley- an alley that could lead to anywhere-
He didn´t even hear the guy yelling at him for running onto the road like this, he didn´t even notice the guys surrounding them stare at the poor guy in fear because he obviously didn´t know he was talking to Shizuo Heiwajima.
But what he noticed was a vending machine and then, it seemed as if time had chosen to continue running in slow motion-
The metal screws in the ground flew away as the metal was torn off its hinges- the guy suddenly stopping his rant and his eyes going wide as saucers as Shizuo lifted the object above his head.
For a second, his brain just went into offline mode and he threw that thing as hard as he could-
The only goal in mind- to hit Izaya before he could disappear into that alley-
Before he could disappear to God knows where-
And then it flew- through the air, few fragments of the broken glass dropping to the ground as it did- people staring at it and screaming as it whooshed past their heads-
And then the flea turned around-
Just in time, to see the red backside of the object before it crashed into him-
And then it was quiet.
…
Shizuo panted, looking at the scene.
The vending machine was on the ground.
And Izaya was too-
…
He hit.
He hit him-
He actually hit him-
A second passed as Shizuo just stared at the huddled figure on the ground.
He wasn´t moving-
…
…
…
SHIT
His legs moved despite the protests they sent to his brain and he ran down the street.
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
The people stepped aside in fear, having seen that one of their usual fights was going on again.
A little crowd was starting to gather around the flea as Shizuo arrived at the scene.
The first thing he noticed was that there was no blood before he yanked the motionless body up from the street.
"Izaya-!" but Izaya wasn´t responding.
Panic almost threatened to fill Shizuo´s mind for a brief second, before he noticed something.
Breathing.
Slight heaving up and down of Izaya´s chest.
And throbbing.
From the way he had yanked the flea up by his shirt, he could feel his heart beat against his fist.
Alive.
A relieved sigh left the blond's lips.
For a second he really thought he-
"They are fighting again!" screams and rambling that he had ignored until that point suddenly reached his ears and he actually noticed the crowd around them.
Girls were squealing in fear. Teenage boys were making a video with their phones.
"This time he killed him- Finally!" one of them was screaming and then more and more-
"He got that bastard!"
"Good job!"
"That bastard deserves to die!"
"NO wait! He is still breathing!"
"Kill him off!"
Kill him off
The sentence kept repeating in his head as those people kept saying similar things-
Kill him off
A vein popped at Shizuo´s forehead as he glanced at the unconscious raven. He still remembered the words he said before.
"See now why it´s best for me to die?"
"Kill him!"
"Come on, do it already!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" The words thundered through the streets. Louder than he had ever yelled Izaya´s name, making them all shut up instantly.
A glare worse than death appeared on Shizuo´s eyes as he eyed the people around him, sending chills down their spine.
The girls ran away. The boys stopped filming-
In a few seconds, they had all scrammed- and the two were left alone on the street.
Slowly, Shizuo glanced back at Izaya´s expression.
Dried tears were still sticking to the corner of his eyes.
… he was light.
Really light.
Those bastards…
He was torn between hating the flea and hating those people around him.
Not only the crowd, but everyone.
They seriously wanted him to kill the flea, right? They really wanted this to happen. Sure, the flea was an asshole. A huge one at that.
But death?
Sure, he always threatened to kill the flea.
…. But not like that.
Not for real.
He wasn´t a murderer.
Yet those people around him...
The frown on his face darkened and he tugged the flea up, throwing him over his right shoulder.
Just like yesterday.
This was the second time already, ne?
And both times his fault.
The marks on Izaya´s neck looked beyond awful.
… he had seen them yesterday already... when he passed out.
He hated violence.
"The things you make me do, flea…" this was the reason he hated the flea because he made him use that violence.
"I seriously hate you- you hear me?" he mumbled, more to himself then the flea as he started moving forward.
"You are an asshole, making me do all this stuff and you know it." he continued, paying attention to the unconscious body on his shoulders, so he wouldn´t fall off.
"You piss me off all the time." This time, he would do it right.
"And that´s why I´m going to fix you." He was going to fix the flea.
Ups, seems Shizuo almost killed the flea at his attempt to save him xD Well shit xD But good thing nothing serious happened, ne? cx
Now now, the fun part is about to start~! Where do you think Shizuo will bring the flea now~? Hint: Not Shinra´s place C:
hehe next chapter will finally pick up at the actual "helping part" than the -i´m gonna hit you until you are back to normal part- xD I hope chu liked this chapter~!
See you soon in:
Chapter 12: A sense of understanding due to 26thFebruary.2016