A/N: Hey guys sorry it's taken me a while to update, really. In the morning I start my last quarter of university so I don't know how often i can update but again i'll try my best.

Um if you have a tumblr and like my stories and things. I sometimes post snippets of chapters on there, so my name on there is alwayskeepchasing.

Song that inspired this chapter is Explosions by Ellie Goulding. listen to it if you haven't because it's good she's amazing and it's Paily fer sure.

well thank you to everyone who reads this story and favorite,follows and reviews. Let me know what you think. Are you guys still interested in this story btw? Serious question. should I still keep it going?

Anyways enjoy!

Chapter 11

Emily's POV

I was getting used to Paige walking away from me ever since she came back into my life, but that doesn't mean that it hurt any less. A part of me feels like she hasn't forgiven me for leaving her all those years ago because she could be distance with me at time. I change quickly throwing my sweats on and loose tank top over my head while dialing Cam's phone number. Shoving everything into my bag as I ask Cam to reschedule our date for tomorrow, of course she sounds worried but agrees nonetheless.

I rush outside heading to the parking lot in the direction of my truck and in passing I see Taylor walking to the fields where the field hockey game was still going on. I see her and all I can think about is Paige and how they are getting cozy with each other and the feelings its caused me. My fists ball up as the familiar memory from earlier came up again and I try to push it down. I refuse to admit to myself what this feeling was, I absolutely refuse. But whether I admitted it to myself or not, I needed to get some things off of my chest, fortunately it would be taken out on Taylor.

"Dalton!" I yell as I run over to her. I know she heard me because when I yelled, she stopped for a half-second then continued walking away, so I yell her name again. But just like before she didn't turn or stop.

"I'm not in the mood for you, Fields." She said simply as I closed the distance between us by marching up to her and pulling her back from her shoulder making her gym bag fall. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Back off of Paige, I don't know what you and Liv have planned but it ends now."

"Have planned? What the hell are you talking about? Paige is my tutor and now my team mate. You don't tell me who I can and can't hang out with. I thought that was only reserved for Camila." She smiles and surprisingly it is not an evil or mischievous smile but a knowing one.

"Don't you dare Taylor. Or I swear to God I wi—" I get cut off because I wasn't prepared for her bold step towards me that left only a few inches of space between us.

"What are you going to do Emily?" I was silent as I looked at the brunette's raised eyebrow. "Exactly. Because that would require you to admit that you're gay and we both know that's won't happen." She steps away picking up her bag from the ground to begin walking away to the lit hockey fields.

"You are just like Liv." I say loud enough for her to hear as I readjust the strap on my shoulder.

"I can be but remember I'm keeping your secret and have been for the past year." She adjusts her bag and turns to look at me with the slightest frown on her face.

"That doesn't make you better than her, it actually make you worse."

"That might be but I actually like Paige, so whatever you have in your head about me having ulterior motives, get it out."

"I'll figure out what you're doing Taylor. Paige is smart she'll eventually see through that sweet act of yours."

"Just stop, Fields." She says in a stern voice from several feet away from me and continues to head out of the parking lot and to the fields before she stops. "I'm telling you the truth Emily. I do like Paige." The thing with Taylor is that, she wasn't blatantly evil like Liv because we all know that Liv shows her evil side whenever. But with Taylor she was sneakier about it, she was sweet in a way that you couldn't take her threats seriously. Even as she was holding over the fact that she knew about me being gay, it's as if it was a burden for her to know. If it was Liv, first off everyone would know, and secondly she was hold it over my head with a smirk plastered over her face. They are both different but blood runs deep, no matter how sweet you act.

I take a deep breath before I knock on the door of the Montgomery home. I shift my weight between both of my feet, causing the wooden steps below me creak. I hear footsteps and Ruben's voice getting closer to the door making me second guess why I was standing here. The smile on Ruben's face gets wider from not expecting me over, and I see that his eyes narrow on the crinkling noise coming from my hands.

"Hi Emily. Um Aria isn't home, she's at Spencer's"

"Hey Ruben. Um I actually came here to see Paige, if that's okay?" I smile sweetly tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. I knew that Ruben had a bit of a crush on me since he moved in two years ago, so I will use it to my advantage.

"Oh. Uh sure, I don't think my mom would mind. Come in, she's upstairs." I hesitate and he notices this while quickly looking upstairs before looking at me. "Or I could go get her." I smile and nod my head almost too eagerly. Before he closes the door I see his smile reach almost to his eyes. I sit on the porch swing and place the paper bag on the table taking out the container of food that I got from Sam's.

"Emily? What are you doing here?" I whip my head to the side watching as Paige comes out of the house and over to the table, just staring at the contents.

"Um apology dessert? I'm sorry for whatever I said wrong and for upsetting you." I shrug and pick up one of the containers handing it to Paige and giving her a fork while moving over on the swing so she could sit down.

"Emily you didn't have to do that, thanks. You know, you didn't even do anything wrong, I walked out on you. So I should have brought you the cheesecake. " She opens the box and I see her eyes go wide more a minute before she starts eating the cheesecake. I pick up my box that French toast in it. I wasn't much of a cake person, never have been. Ever since I was small, my 'dessert' of choice would be either French toast or ice cream.

"You still do that?" I look up to see that Paige has a smirk while pointing down at my box. I look down and see that all the slices are cut up and mixed around the container before I even put the syrup on. "I still don't get it, the rest of the pieces get soggy and then what happens if you don't finish it? You can't save it. " She smiles and I laugh thinking about how my mom said that same thing, but it was a habit I couldn't escape from. We eat in silence for a few minutes just listening to the sounds of the crickets all around us.

"I feel like I should apologize though, for how I acted at lunch with Taylor. It's your life, you can talk to whoever you what."

"You're right but it's cute that you're protective. It's almost like you're jealous." I feel my cheeks burning as I pick up another piece of French toast. Jealous? Of course I wasn't jealous, I didn't see Paige in that way, right? "Well don't worry about it though. I'll probably spend less time with her especially after what happened after practice."

"What happened?"

"I kindof sortof asked her to dinner with me and she said no. So instead of embarrassing myself for more than necessary, I'll probably keep the tutoring to a minimum, so just at lunch. Wait I thought you had a date with Cam...why aren't you with him?" She picks at her slice of cheesecake and she has no idea that one word just caused so much in me. 'Him' was all it took for me to break down at this moment.

"Her." I say simply while tracing shapes on my thigh with my finger, avoiding looking up. I could literally feel my ears burning because she was just staring at me; I could feel her eyes.

"Did you just say her?" Out of the corner of my eye I could see that now Paige's whole body is turned in my direction. I get up pacing back and forth along the porch until I settle on leaning over the porch railing. I look down at the bright flowers that are almost glowing against the night background. They were so beautiful, something that kept my attention for a few more seconds before I inhale the crisp fall air and spoke.

"Cam is short for Camila. Cam…is a girl. I'm dating a girl. I'm gay." I say it to the night sky but during my whole pacing back and forth and then concentrating on the flowers I hadn't noticed that Paige wasn't at the porch swing anymore. She had moved a few feet away from me on the railing; she was facing me facing out to the street.

"Woah… why didn't you tell me?" I feel her move closer but I don't dare turn to face her. I finally said it out loud…

"I was just scared." I continue to talk out to the air blinking back tears because of my newly found confidence. But I knew once I turned to face her I couldn't be able to keep it together.

"Yeah because the lesbian won't understand her best friend liking girls?" I don't even have to look at Paige to see that she has a smirk on her face, leave it to Paige to take a serious conversation in some direction of humor. It made me smile and even got a chuckle out of me before it stopped and I was hit the reality of what I told her when I turn to face her. The scrunch of her forehead and the empathic look she had made me lose all fight in trying to hold back the tears but then nothing was coming out. I could have sworn I felt the tears coming, but nothing.

"I'm just not used to it. Only the girls know that I am." My eyes fall to the floor in embarrassment for not telling her, I was mentally kicking myself for not doing it sooner but in a way I'm glad I waited.

"You know I have to say that I am a bit surprised. After I thought you and Spencer were together, you were quick to say you had dates with your boyfriends. I mean you could have said something then. Or even in the car when—" She pulls herself up and sits on the railing facing the Montgomery house and I continue to stare the opposite way towards the driveway.

"I know I had multiple times to tell you…Wait did you call me your best friend a few minutes ago?" Now it's Paige's turn to look down in embarrassment, I notice that she leans back on the porch railing and the grip on the railing becomes tighter. I look at her to see her blushed cheeks being engulfed by her heartwarming smile.

"Yeah, I ... I guess I did." I smile like an idiot and I'm glad that Paige isn't looking at me because for that reason. It made me so happy to hear that coming from her now, which means I have proven myself to her. "So everything you've told me about Cam is the same, the only thing that's different is that he's a she?"

Paige's POV

So Emily is gay. Well this Camila girl is pretty fucking lucky, I mean just looking at Emily I have to bite my lip to stop myself from doing anything. I had a chance with Emily, but as I hear her gushing about Camila, that chance was slowly diminishing. I could see how in love she was with her, they had been together for two years, so I could see how much it mattered for her to actually talk about her and not have to hide it. My heart went out to Emily as she was telling me about how she wanted to tell her dad but that she was scared. We moved from the porch to the backyard for a bit more privacy for Emily's sake. We sat at an old swing set that was still mounted to the ground. I guess the Montgomery's wanted to be prepared for any child that came their way.

"I wish I could be like you. You actually stick up for your sexuality. You could be open with a girl if you wanted to. You two could go out on dates in town instead of having to go to a different town where no one knows you." I see her take off her glasses and wiping her eyes before burying her face in her hand dropping her glasses on the ground.

"Hey…calm down." I get up from my swing and kneel down in front of her picking up her glasses and cleaning them off. She was really liking wearing her glasses lately. I sat in front of her on the ground starting at her glasses and listening to her muffled sniffles. I hug my knees close to my body setting her glasses on top of my knee staring at her through the lens. I give her a few minutes to herself so that she doesn't feel like I am trying to push her to talk if she isn't ready, so maybe it was better if she just listened.

"I wasn't always like that." I say as I trace the frame of her glasses with my fingers repeatedly. "I actually was a bitch to the first girl that kissed me. It was freshman year and this girl was walking with me home from the library. We had been 'study buddies' for the month that I was there. I think I even spent the night at her house. Anyways… we were almost to my house and she just kissed me. I pushed her away even though I leaned into the kiss; I called her a 'dyke'. I'm not proud of that but the kissed made me realize that I did like girls. I've told you before that it's hard coming out to your family, but even if you've done it as many times as I have, it still doesn't change how hard it is. Every single time I've come out of the closet, it felt like I was falling out on my face, because someone did it for me. What I'm getting at is, you should just tell your dad before someone else gets the chance to. I mean wouldn't you rather he hear it from you than someone else?"

"You're right but I think I need a bit to prepare myself for telling him. I told Camila… God that feels so good to say out loud." She wipes the bottom of her right eye as she looks up at the sky, almost like she's trying to blink back tears, and in that split second I saw her smile. I know how good it could feel when something like that is out; it feels like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Her head hangs putting her hands over her neck, like she's angry with herself though. "I've lied to her, I told her that I had been trying to tell my dad about us but I haven't."

"Em, you know if you really want to be happy then being yourself is the first step. Remember that first day in Spanish?" I get up from the ground dusting off the dry grass and dirt from my shorts and kneeling right in front of Emily. "You didn't take anything that I gave you, you put me in my place and you even stuck up to Liv for me that first day too, you are fearless Emily." I say as I slide her glasses on her face and I swear I'm not breathing. I meant it to be an innocent gesture but in this moment we were too close. The glasses slide behind her ears and I see her eyes blink a few times, to adjust her vision accordingly.

We stare at each other for a minute before she breaks the eye contact and I take that as my cue to back away. Emily clears a throat after giving me a raspy 'thank you' before she pushes up her glasses from the middle. I feel my stomach in knots staring at Emily and taking in everything about her facial expression. The crinkle of her forehead, the streaks of tears running down her cheek and the slight redness of her tan cheeks and her nose. All those things and I still find that she was beautiful, beyond beautiful actually. My heart hurts slightly knowing that she has had to hide herself for so long, at least I think that is the only reason it is hurting for… I hope that's the only reason why it's hurting.

"Thing will change though… I'm not fearless Paige, far from it. Being myself scares me because everyone sees me like how you saw me that first day, like my life is perfect." Her voice cracks as she speaks again while she paces around the play structure. Note to self: she paces when she is upset.

"What will change? Nothing changes unless you change it Em. You were Emily dating 'Cam' and now you're Emily dating Camila. If people don't like it, then they don't deserve to be in your life." I say as a sway from side to side on the swing watching her walk around until she settles on leaning against one of the support beams for the play structure.

"Thank you P… the girls never actually talked to me about this, they just told me to tell my dad when I'm ready. They don't get it because they are straight, so dating is normal for them, they don't really understand. " Her smile, while weak, was still powerful enough to stop my heart and speed it up at the same time. Fuck. I'm in trouble

"No problem, I know how hard it is to go through this alone so I'm glad I could be here for you. I mean what are friends for." We stare at each other and we both smile, I felt like I was a little kid again, talking to my best friend about whatever we could and being there for her. Even though it wasn't physically holding her while we slept because she was scared, but I know it meant the same now and back then.

"Paige! Hey I wanted to ask you something." I hear as I shut my locker door heading in the direction on my first class. I turn to see Taylor running up to me with a worried look on her face. I felt bad with how I suddenly changed our schedule but I had mixed feelings whenever I was near her. Mostly I was embarrassed but there was some harvested anger there.

"What is it?" And the anger is the part that takes over as I turn to keep in the direction of my class and she follows me. After my talk with Emily, I thought I should live by my own advice, be happy

"Uh... it was about this Spanish take home test but I'll ask someone else." I feel her stop walking making me turn to see the hurt on her face.

"No it's fine, I mean I am your tutor." I say as I walk up to her and reach for the paper she was holding only for her to move it back.

"Really? Because our sessions went from being every day for like two hours to three days a week for a half hour if that. Now you just check my homework and tell me what is wrong." She crosses her arms and I can see her normal bright green eyes are more like a greyish green color. I noticed that they had been this color every time that I had talked to her this week. But I know that her eyes turn that greyish green whenever she's upset, mostly whenever she was around Liv. Not that I was staring or anything, just one little thing that I picked up on.

Actually that's a lie because no matter how much I wanted to stay away from Taylor, I couldn't help but think about her. In the classes we have together, every now and then I will look in her direction while she is writing something down in class or when she is staring out the window. She wasn't like the other girls that I had liked in the past, she was unique in a way. She made me feel like I didn't know what I was doing whenever I was around her. I've spilled countless espressos at The Brew because I was trying to be 'smooth' and talk while walking backwards to the counter to order her a pastry or from just being nervous and spilling the coffee over the table. I've also walked into numerous opening doors because of not watching where I was going because I was too focused on her lips while we were walking. These little things about her were the things that actually made me like her more and more despite my resistance. And this is just in that one week of spending time with her. What could this girl do to me if it was from longer?

"Is this about last Friday? Do you want me to get someone else to tutor me? I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything." She asked with a voice that I have heard every time we hung out, the soft voice that I've grown to love…Shit. I grab her wrist and take her away from the crowd of students that are starting to come into the school. I take her over by the locker room entrance because there was hardly anyone there. My heart races as she continues to stare at me with those green eyes of hers, and the softness of her skin under my palms. She doesn't move her arm away from my touch and everything around falls silent.

Why does this hurt so much? I didn't even ask her out or mean to and this is getting to me. It gets me angry when I think about what happened last week. It was an innocent request, ones that we have made before with lunch or coffee breaks. It was normal for friends to do that right? We were friends, or at least I thought that Taylor and I were. I finally let go of her wrist and take a step back from her.

"Maybe it was about last Friday." I say rising my voice but quickly lowering it because I didn't want to draw people's attention. "I wasn't asking you out but thinking that you would react like that, if I did, kinda hurt. Like would it really be that bad if I did? I mean all you had to say was that you weren't interested or that you had a boyfriend. But you tensed up and moved away from me, as if you were literally disgusted with the mere thought of it." I hated being so vulnerable but she started it so I had to tell her what I was feeling. "And that's if I even liked you. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't have friends that are girls without liking them."

"So wait…you don't like me then?" she says after a few minutes of just staring at me and biting her lower lip.

"That's seriously all you got from that?" I ask as I turned away from her in disbelief while rolling my eyes. This frustrated me so much to the point where I couldn't deal with her. "Maybe you should get a new tutor, I'll go to the office later to arrange that."

"I like you Paige… That night you just caught me off guard. I WANT to go out to dinner with you one day." I stop mid step and look up from the ground staring blankly ahead. The rest of the students making noise were on mute. A locker would close and I wouldn't hear the annoying slam or hear the words coming out of nearby peoples conversations. I finally turn around and walk the few steps back to her examining her posture and attitude. She was playing with the sting of her blouse refusing to look me in the eye.

"Wait what?" Did I hear her correctly? Did she just say what I think she said?

"I like you Paige, but I understand that you don't." My heart stops beating in the instant for the pure shock that even after everything I told her she still told me how she felt. I feel like shit after saying all of those things; she liked me and I was just being a jerk to her. When the hell did I get soft? This fucking town and the people in it are doing so much damage to this wall that I built.

"Umm….I have to go. I'll talk to you later okay. I promise… I just need some air." I walk passed her giving her the best smile I could muster up as I left her with the same cloud of uncertainty that had been hanging over me since I started talking to her. I felt bad for not telling her how I felt about her, I guess the rant prior to her disclosure caused more embarrassment.

I wanted to talk to someone about this, about Taylor and what Emily had told me last week. For some reason I couldn't get that conversation out of my head, it replays daily. I look around the street that are filled with students preparing their weekends after school ended, it was Friday anyways. My left hand searches for the small piece of paper that I hadn't removed from my jacket pocket since I got it. It was sitting there almost as if I forgot about it but every time I put the jacket on and rested my hands in the pockets the reminder was there. Each time, my fingers grazed the engraving on the crinkled up card. I spotted a payphone on the other side of the street and run towards it while trying to dig up change from the bottom of my bag. Sometimes I was glad that these kinds of towns, the older ones, still had pay phones around.

I stare at the card and her name, and even debate just walking back to the school and forgetting I even thought about calling her. But with a shaky hand I pick up the phone holding it up to my ear using my shoulder as I dial the number. I hold the card up and against the silver of the dial pad of the payphone it's visible how nervous I am for her to pick up, by the way I am shaking. I almost wish that she doesn't.

"Rohawke Recovery Center, this is Alex speaking." Her tone of voice was so professional that it caught me off guard but for some reason I found myself smiling.

"Wow who would have thought? You, Alexandra Harper, would be so proper." I say with a smirk as I lean against the payphone box.

"Paige? Hi." I could hear the surprise in her voice. "Wait aren't you supposed to be in school?" Her tone quickly switched back to professional mode, her asking that question to me made me roll my eyes. I find it funny that now she suddenly cared about me. Yeah I'm not bitter or anything.

"Chill out mama bear. It hasn't started yet." I turn around making sure that there were still kids outside of the school before looking at my watch to reassure myself that I had a few minutes.

"I'm glad you called…." Her voice changed again but to a tone that I hadn't heard since that night we went to her, then, boyfriend's house 10 years ago. Another pang in my chest occurs and I even bring my hand over my heart gripping at my shirt. My jaw clenches at the reminder of why her card was left untouched in my jacket pocket, and a jacket that was given to me by Alex nonetheless. She left me, it was that simple and for that reason alone I should have hung up the phone, but I couldn't.