The ride home was silent. The whole way no one said a word. Elena and Stefan took turns driving, both of them feeling more tired than they should. Angela stared blankly out the window, unmoving, unblinking. Elena thought a couple times she seemed to be looking for something in particular, but then her eyes would infocus again.
A pit had opened up in Elena's stomach and it was eating everything inside of her. Her heart, her lungs, all her emotions, her appetite. All she could feel was the pit and it's overbearing presence. Just a constant reminder that they were returning home and Damon was not.
It was evening when they pulled back up to the boarding house. The house was quiet and dark but Elena was sure Caroline was in there. Stefan seemed relieved, if only slightly, to be near her. Angela slipped out of the car silently and melted into the darkness of dusk. She was in her car and driving away before Elena had even gotten out of the SUV. Still Elena and Stefan didn't say anything to each other.
Caroline opened the door with sad eyes and Elena wondered how she seemed to know. She embraced Stefan, who leaned into her more than Elena thought possible. She tangled her fingers in his hair and kissed his temple, then she just held him.
Over his shoulder her blue eyes held Elena's, embracing her with her eyes. And the trio stood that way in the door until the sun was completely gone. Finally when Elena could take no more she gently pushed by the couple and stalked upstairs.
Elena walked into Damon's bedroom, her bedroom now, slowly. It was still bare, still void of all things Damon. She knew it would look like this but for some reason it felt different. Emptier somehow. She knew the room would be without Damon but she didn't know she would be too.
She sighed as she dumped her belongings unceremoniously on the big bed. When she removed her sweater Bonnie's letter fell out of the pocket. She held it tenderly. "I'm sorry Bonnie. I couldn't save him." Elena whispered and finally tears crashed down her face as the pain finally ripped it's way through her chest.
The next morning Elena took the letter and a box of belongings to Bonnie's grave. She sat there for a long time trying to feel her. Trying to gain comfort from it the way she used to draw comfort from her parents grave. Bonnie was the strength in their trio. Elena had been the compassion and Caroline the light, but Bonnie was what made them strong, each and every time. Seems fitting that they were all so weak now without her. When Elena grew weary and hungry she placed the metal box she had made right underneath her headstone.
Elena wasn't sure what exactly the tiny lock would keep out but she really wasn't trying to keep anyone out. No one would find any value in the things inside, no one except her and Damon. "You are the one who deserves to keep the very best of him. Im so sorry Bon." Then she walked all the way back to the boarding house. When she got there she found it empty.
Once she ate some toast, really the only thing she could stomach, she all but crawled upstairs and buried herself in Damon's bed surrounded by his shirts, trying to hold onto the last piece of him she had left. This was Elena without Damon. This was her life now.
Damon was in the dark. Suddenly little details were coming into focus. "there's a tiny part of you wondering if what you saw tonight, who you saw was real. You can't stop it now." He heard Angela say. He whipped around looking for his God daughter but the image wasn't focused enough yet. He tried to shake his head to clear his vision. Then he saw her.
She sat at the bar, nursing a bourbon. Her long brown hair framing her face like an angel. He heavenly doe eyes open and staring at him expectantly. She smiled at him, beckoning him to her.
"Elena?" Damon reached out and touched her cheek but she crumbled underneath his touch. In her place was a pile of bones and Angela stood behind her chanting. It was only a spell, it was only a spell.
"Damon! Help me Damon!" Bonnie? Damon whipped around again trying desperately to find Bonnie. She sounded so far away though, she was out of his sight. "Bonnie!" he called to her. Angela grew quiet behind him. Damon turned to look at her and she was crying. "I tried to tell you Damon. I called. Why weren't you there Damon?"
"Why aren't you here damon?" this was Elena's voice. He turned and saw her sitting there again, no longer smiling but crying. "I'm sorry." Damon said to her. Then he met Angela's eyes "I'm so sorry."
"too late." Angela said and then his head erupted in piercing pain.
Damon shot up in bed panting and gasping for air. Sweat beaded up along his forehead. He wiped at it. He rubbed his eyes over and over trying to wipe the images and all the emotions they threatened to provoke out of his head.
The nightmares had plagued him for weeks since his run in with Angela. Damon was trying to outrun them, so he could outrun the emotions but he was tragically losing. He had had another cloaking spell put on him, he had watched them leave New York. Then Damon had ran as fast he could until the sun began to rise. When he took shelter that day to rest he had the first nightmare and he knew something was wrong.
Okay, actually he knew exactly what was wrong. Angela had been right. A little voice in his head nagged at him, that what if it had been real, what he saw? What if that was really Elena he had spoke to? Touched ? What if Bonnie was really dead. And that was the thought that provoked him to keep running. And that's the pattern his life had followed for the last three weeks. Run until the sun rose, sleep until it set, talk himself into a downward plunge of emotions and then run again. Over and over.
He found himself killing less now. Not really finding a thrill in it, not really having the motivation to pick someone out of a crowd. He fed when necessary but mostly he ran. He had reached Washington and that's where he was now, in some girls bed in Washington state.
"honey go back to sleep." the naked girl cooed next to him. Suddenly he was furious at her. He flipped her over so she laid on her back and growled viciously at her She woke with a start and began screaming. So Damon did the only thing he knew how to. He drained her dry, and by the end he didn't feel any better. Damon sat for a long time and stared at the now dead girl. He tried to pretend she was sleeping, and then he tried to pretend someone else killed her. Then, finally, Damon stopped pretending. He peaked outside to make sure the sun had set and once he was sure it was he dressed himself and stepped outside. He would be long gone before anyone found her.
Damon took off at a full sprint. Now completely full and rested he blurred through wooded areas, grassy fields, city streets, and busy highways. He was lightening fast, no one even so much as looked up. He ran and ran letting his primal instincts take to the forefront of his brain. And that is exactly why he didn't notice that his feet and instincts were taking him back towards Mystic Falls, and back to her.
"Elena?" Caroline stood outside Damon's old bedroom and knocked politely on the door. Elena had gone to take a nap about two hours ago but they were about to head out. It had been a few weeks since Elena and Stefan had returned from their disasterous rescue mission. It had been a hard month on all of them, especially Elena and angela. Stefan was doing better with it but Caroline knew he wasnt dealing as well as he acted. So Caroline suggested they get back to their life and Stefan agreed it would be the best thing for them. Everyone understood when they broke the news. It was decided that Elena would stay in the boarding house for as long as she wanted. After that it was really just making the arrangements to get home. Caroline insisted on flying So Stefan had booked a flight for tonight. They decided to go see Bonnies grave one last time before catching their flight. "Elena we are leaving." There was no answer again though. Just then Stefan walked up. "Let her sleep Care. We already said our goodbyes earlier." He spoke quietly and took her hand in his. Caroline searched his eyes to make sure he was really okay. When she decided he was she nodded once and they strolled out of the boarding house together.
It was the first time Caroline and Stefan had been to her grave since the funeral. They walked slowly through the grave yard. They stopped along the way at Carolines mothers grave and at the Salvatore crypt where Stefans family was. The briefly busted Alaric and all of Elenas family. When they finally made it to Bonnies grave they had just a few minutes before they had to leave.
"What's this?" Caroline asked when she spotted the metal box. It had a tiny silver pad lock on it that Caroline could easily break if she wanted to.
"I don't know." Stefan said also kneeling to examine the box. He flipped it over and over in his hands, looking at all sides of the box. There was a crashing sound as things flopped around inside. He was about to shrug and put it down when he caught sight of something taped to the bottom of it. It was the letter Bonnie had written to Damon. Elena must have put the box There.
"It's from Elena." Stefan noted quietly. Caroline sadly put her head on her fiancee' s shoulder. For the first time since they returned Caroline felt the weight of Elena' s hopelessness. She had given up. "It's for Damon." Stefan deduced after a few more minutes of examination.
"I know." Was Carolines simple reply. They put the box back where they found it. They spent a couple more minutes saying fond goodbyes. Caroline cried and Stefan held her, happy to not be the one needing held for once. Carolines human life was slowly coming to a wrap and Stefan knew it. He knew it was going to be hard for her to let everyone go and this was just the first step. This he could help her through.
She pulled herself together quickly though and with a small smile urged Stefan to make his way back to the car. "Pull it up to the gate. I'll be right down." She said. Stefan smiled politely and obliged, knowing she just wanted a few moments alone. When he was out of sight Caroline bent and touched Bonnies head stone. "Help him Bon. Help him see the truth. Help her be happy." She whispered into the evening air. After a few more moments of silence she stood and without a glance back blurred to her car and her awaiting fiancee.