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Chapter 11: Conversations with Dead People

"You know it wasn't your fault, right?"

Suzie turned at the sound of the echo, trying to figure out which direction it had originated from. She was currently in Shinjuku Park; right at the bottom of the stairs that led to Guilmon's shed. She could not remember how she got there, but also found that she didn't really care so much.

Deciding not to waste any more time, Suzie made her way up the stairs. She noted that the park was quiet and still, without even a breeze going on around her. Reaching her destination, she took hold of the gate and opened it.

Upon passing through its threshold, Suzie found herself in the Katous' restaurant. Save for Jeri standing behind the bar, it was empty. Not concerned with her change in surroundings, Suzie walked over to the bar and sat on a stool across from Jeri.

"You weren't there," Suzie said, her own voice echoing as well. "How could you know that?"

"Henry, Rika, and Takato were," Jeri replied. She leaned in closer. "Was it their fault too?"

Suzie didn't know how to reply. She stared at Jeri for a few seconds, who only smiled in return. It was not only warmth she got from the older girl, but understanding as well. It was because of this that she found Jeri easy to trust with what was on her mind.

"It's not just grief you feel," Jeri said suddenly.

Suzie blinked at the statement, hardly noticing yet another change in scenery. Suzie was now in her bedroom, sitting on her bed with her knees pulled up to her chest. Jeri sat on the floor on other side of the room, leaning against the wall. Her expression was unchanged.

"You feel weak and powerless too," Jeri continued. "In the end, there was nothing you could have done that would have made a difference."

"Well, there should have been!" Suzie snapped. She hesitated before continuing a little more quietly. "He was the first person to think that me becoming a Tamer wasn't a big mistake, and I repay him by proving him wrong."

"So this is really about proving yourself." Jeri's smile changed to a more neutral expression and she seemed to look closer at Suzie. She didn't seem like she was being judgmental, but more so like she was trying to solve a puzzle.

"I don't know…" Suzie felt her body begin to shake and started to have a little trouble breathing. "I don't know how to make things right."

"You need to figure out exactly what you're trying to prove, and who you're proving it too."

Suzie concentrated on Jeri now, trying to figure out the answers to the questions that had just been put forward. She remained quiet, however, as nothing immediately came to her.

"Suzie," Jeri said suddenly and urgently.

"What?" Suzie replied, though Jeri didn't seem to acknowledge her.

"Suzie!"

Suzie threw herself into an upright position. Her bedroom had disappeared, having been replaced by a dimly lit cave. It took a few seconds for Ai and Mako's presence in her immediate vicinity to register. The two of them were sitting next to her with concerned looks on their faces.

"Sorry," Ai said softly. "We didn't want to wake you, but we were worried."

"Worried about what?" Suzie asked as she stretched and stood up.

"You were shaking and sweating," Mako explained. He and his sister stood up as well. "We thought you were having a nightmare."

"Well, I wasn't." Suzie began to look around the cave, noting that Impmon was resting against a wall. "Not exactly, anyway."

"I wonder what counts as 'not exactly' a nightmare," a familiar voice said from behind her. She turned round and was met by a pair of faces she would have easily been able to pick out of a crowd.

"Terriermon…" Lopmon groaned.

"What?" Terriermon whined. "It's a legitimate question."

Suzie smiled, but found that her instincts were keeping her from greeting them. A voice in her head said that this Lopmon was not her partner, nor was this Terriermon the one she arrived in this reality with. Regarding the former in particular, while there was an immediate recognition between the two of them, the inherent, almost indescribable bond between them was missing. The disappointed look on this Lopmon's face told Suzie that she felt this as well.

If Suzie's instincts didn't confirm this, looking just beyond the two digimon did. There, lying on the ground, was another Lopmon. Suzie ran over to this one without thinking and gently picked her up.

"Hey, partner," Lopmon breathed, her face forming a weak smile.

"Hey," Suzie returned in kind, trying to keep her composure. "Are you okay?"

"I think so."

"I'm so sorry, Lop!" Suzie held her partner against her as tightly as she could. "This was all my fault."

"It's okay, Suzie." It was typical of Lopmon to not be mad at her. Still, Suzie didn't feel like she deserved to let this go.

"No, it's not okay. You were right. I was being selfish when I dragged us here."

"Suzie-"

"I almost got us all killed. I was so obsessed with one friend that I almost forgot about the ones I still have."

"Suzie," Lopmon strained. "I can't breathe."

"Oh!" Suzie quickly put her partner down. Despite a bit of a wobble, Lopmon managed to stay upright. "My bad."

"I guess she's not that different from our Suzie," Terriermon commented.

"They know already?" Suzie directed her question at Ai and Mako.

"Yeah," Ai answered. "We've had some time to talk since-"

"Since the grouchy, old cat dragged you in," Terriermon finished for her.

Terriermon's comment was answered by a deep growl which emanated from the cave's entrance. All eyes turned in that direction and Suzie's heart skipped a beat when she saw the imposing figure of Cyberdramon.

"Well, good morning to you too, sunshine," Terriermon greeted without skipping a beat.

"One of these days…" Cyberdramon snarled as he approached. To Terriermon's credit, he didn't flinch at the threat. Not that this surprised Suzie, as he had never been afraid of saying anything to anyone.

"You guys live together?" Suzie asked as she watched the situation play out in front of her.

"I think 'coexist' is the more accurate word," one final voice added. Suzie froze in place, afraid to face its owner.

When Ryo Akiyama stepped out from Cyberdramon's shadow, Suzie made a conscious decision to lock her legs in place. She knew that this Ryo wasn't the one she watched fall in battle, and treating him like he was would make things more confusing for everyone. Judging by how things have diverged in this reality, the Ryo in front of her likely had next to no history with her counterpart here.

"That's how most people describe being around Terriermon," Suzie said as casually as she could. It took all her willpower not to take hold of him the same way she had earlier with Lopmon.

"Yeah, I bet," Ryo replied as he approached her, with a confident grin on his face. "You're Suzie, right? From what your friends have told me, you have quite the story."

"Coming from you, that's saying something." Suzie scratched the back of her neck nervously.

Ryo's grin went away. "I'm sorry about your friend. I didn't know the Jeri from this reality, but she seemed pretty important to the others." He then crossed his arms and tilted his head at her. "That doesn't explain why you're here, though."

Suzie glanced back at Ai and Mako, who both shrugged in return. Apparently they hadn't told Ryo everything.

"We're here looking for you," Suzie explained. Ryo's expression didn't change, making her realize she needed to elaborate further. "I thought you could maybe help us find Jeri and, when that's done, maybe help your friends. They're kind of scattered right now, and having the whole team back together might help."

Suzie thought she'd be breathing a bit easier now that the task at hand was complete, but something was still weighing on her. She went over what she had just said in her head, trying to figure out if she had left out anything important. Satisfied, she turned her search outward and, unfortunately, found exactly what she was looking for. Not only had Ryo not responded, but had a serious look about him that Suzie had never seen before.

"No," Ryo stated definitively.

"What da ya mean 'no'?" Impmon yelled as he stood up. "We come all dis way ta ask fer yer help, and dat's all we get!"

Suzie looked at the angry digimon. She understood his outrage, but couldn't share it for some reason. She wasn't really feeling much of anything except confusion. What she had just heard didn't make sense. Ryo had never refused to help anybody.

"Why not?" Suzie managed to verbalize.

"Because they're not a team," Ryo answered. "When I first met them, they were disorganized and argumentative. As time went on, they became bitter and angry. It'd be a waste of time to try and get 'the team' back together, because they want nothing to do with each other."

"But we came all this way," Mako argued.

Ryo turned away from them to exit the cave. "I'll help you find your way back to the Real World, but after that, you're on your own."

He and Cyberdramon left the vicinity with Impmon yelling after them. Suzie was too numb make out what he saying, and barely noticed Lopmon climb onto her head. She not only had no idea how to feel, she was also lost about what to do next.

Alice had ended up dragging Henry quite a few blocks away from Hypnos. Their destination had ended up being an "All-American" style diner that was not unlike the ones Henry had seen in movies. At the moment, they were sitting across from each other in a small booth.

Henry looked up from the menu in front of him and over at his coworker. While she didn't look back at him, he couldn't help but shake the feeling that she knew he was staring. Normally he wouldn't stare, but his current location and company left him with a fair amount of questions. At the very least, these questions were momentary distractions from the looming threat, so he chose not to push them from his mind.

"You get one question," Alice said without looking up from her menu. Henry was starting to seriously consider the possibility that she was psychic. "Use it wisely."

"Why this place?" Henry asked. It was a quick decision, but one he felt confident in making.

Alice finally looked up at him, though Henry was having a hard time deciding if her expression was one of surprise or amusement. "When I moved here, I was actually surprised how many places like this the city had. This restaurant, however, is the closest you'll get to the real deal."

"So, you're homesick, then."

"Something like that." Alice's gaze turned away from him and toward the window to her left.

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Only if you're okay with not getting an answer." Alice kept her attention trained on the window. Anything Henry got out of her would end up being vague and cryptic, but he decided to take his chances anyway.

"Why did you decide to move out here in the first place?" To Henry, it was an obvious question that he had never thought to ask her. Sitting there in that moment, however, he couldn't help but wonder why someone his age would move across an ocean.

Alice ended up not reacting to the question. Henry told himself that perhaps that was for the best, as he really didn't know her well enough to be asking personal questions like that. Still, for the first time he found himself wondering how Takato was able to so get conversations like this out of Rika. While the redhead was now quite a bit more open and emotional than Henry had ever known Alice to be, she still remained guarded when it came to certain topics.

Something to ask him when he gets back, Henry tried to assure himself.

"Don't do that," Alice muttered suddenly. Henry looked at again her again and found her staring at the table.

"Do what?" Henry asked nervously. He mentally kicked himself as he did, having never hesitated about asking questions before.

"Worry about whatever it is you're worrying about. The whole point of this was that you would stop doing that for an hour."

Henry smiled, having finally figured out the best way to handle the situation in front of him. "So that's what this is about?" Henry teased. "I had no idea you cared."

Alice replied with the glare he was familiar with. "It's what people do for each other, isn't it?" she grumbled.

"Does this make us friends now?"

"Don't push your luck. Like I said yesterday, I don't need you creating extra work for me."

"A likely story…" Alice picked up her menu again in an obvious attempt to ignore him. Noting a waitress heading their way, Henry opted to do the same. He would have more time to poke at her as they ate.

Takato felt both disappointment and sadness as he looked at this universe's version of his family's bakery. The disappointment came from the fact that they had come here in the hopes of tracking down his counterpart. If the other Takato had ever been here, he was gone now. The sadness, on the other hand, came from seeing the only home he had ever known empty and abandoned.

"What happened?" Takato asked this universe's version of Henry. He tried reminding himself that his actual home and parents were exactly how and where he left them in an attempt to keep his emotions in check.

"We had no way of knowing that our Takato had gone to the Digital World when he first disappeared," Henry explained. "His parents spent a lot of time and money trying to find him and the bakery suffered because of it."

"Where are they now?"

"Last I heard, they were in Okinawa."

"I liked it there," Guilmon said in an obvious attempt to reassure his partner. Takato acknowledged the sentiment with a nod.

"Where to next?" Terriermon asked. He was currently riding on Guilmon's back.

"The park?" Henry suggested. "Or maybe school?"

"Why would any version of Takato want to go there?"

"Okay, fair point…"

They eventually decided on a direction and left the bakery's vicinity. They initially walked in silence, which wasn't sitting right with Takato. Different realities or not, he hated the idea that he and Henry could have difficulty speaking to each other. Despite the recent memories of how Ruki had regarded him, he decided to try and rectify the situation in front of him.

"Hey, Henry," Takato said. "I was wondering if I could get your opinion on something."

"Sure, go ahead," Henry replied, sounding a little confused.

"Well, I've been having these nightmares for months now and was wondering if you could help me sort out what they mean."

"I'll do my best." Problem solving and offering reliable advice were two of Henry's strong suits. Takato was sure that any awkwardness between them would fade once he was in his element.

"Well, in them I…" Takato found himself pausing for a heartbeat. The fact that he was trying to help a friend didn't make revisiting his recurring nightmares any less difficult. "…I essentially destroy the whole city on my own. My friends try to stop me, but…" Takato wasn't sure how to explain that he killed them all in a feral state.

"These nightmares started before the tears started opening?" Henry looked at Takato calmly and objectively. He didn't need clarification about the rest of the nightmare, and wasn't going to pass any judgment.

"I thought they did, but it turned out the tears might be the result of something that happened six months back."

"Which would mean that the tears actually do predate your nightmares." Henry turned away from Takato as he often did when he was trying to think about the information that was given to him. He turned towards him again, still not betraying any thoughts on the matter. "What do you think causes them?"

"I… don't know." Takato looked down at the sidewalk. "I lost control again a little while back and put everyone in harm's way. I've been worried that that side of me is trying to come to the surface again or, worse, they're premonitions of some kind."

"Premonitions?"

"I know; Rika said it was stupid too. She thinks they'll stop if I stop feeling guilty all the time."

"Too bad there's no chance of that happening." Confused, Takato looked back at Henry and found him smiling. "I've never known there to be anyone who can stop you from carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"So you think there's nothing I can do?"

"I think that Rika's right. Even though the tears didn't manifest until recently, the barrier between our two worlds has been damaged for some time. That plus our Takato's mental state and your own guilt is recipe for bad dreams if nothing else."

"I guess," Takato admitted. As usual, Henry's reasoning made sense. Everyone seemed to be telling him the same thing, so maybe it was time he wrote his nightmares off as just that.

"Actually, I'm more curious about how you're able to have dreams like this," Henry added. He pinched his chin as he often did when he was lost in thought. "You mention premonitions before. Do you have dreams like this often?"

"I can't think of any occasion besides the one dream I had about Rika."

"Wait, what?" Terriermon called out from behind them.

Oh no, Takato thought as his body froze in terror. Before he knew it, the rabbit-dog digimon had landed on top of his head and was looking down at him.

"Don't be so uptight, Takato," Terriermon teased forebodingly. "I just want to know everything about this dream you had."

"W-What dream?" Takato asked, trying to sound dismissive. "I d-don't remember mentioning any dream."

"Don't be like that, Takato. Are you really gonna make me get it out of Guilmon?"

Takato turned around and looked at his partner, who refused to meet his gaze. Guilmon wasn't known for his ability to keep secrets. Takato shook his head and sighed. He couldn't decide if it was tragic, ironic, or just fitting that the literal girl of his dreams would be the one to end up killing him.

Henry laughed quietly beside him. "Sorry, but it's kind of like old times," he clarified when Takato looked at him questioningly.

To Takato, this was a regular occurrence, but decided not to point this out. He didn't see the benefit to drudging up the different circumstances he and Henry lived under. He also hoped that he would live long enough to one day reflect on "old times."

Jeri took in the familiar surroundings of Shinjuku Park. She felt reassured in knowing that this place had not changed much at all. Walking next to her with his hood pulled up was this reality's Takato, who was quite the deviation from what she was familiar with when compared to the park. The two had of them had not ended up coming straight here, having taken a couple detours along the way.

For the first time that she could remember, Jeri was having a hard time reading Takato. Like her, he was inspecting the park around them, but she was unable to tell if this was just out of paranoia. Whatever was the case, Jeri had spent a lot of the day so far trying to keep him distracted when he started acting this way.

"You're acting like it's been a while since you've been here," Jeri pointed out.

"I guess that's because I usually only come here when a wild digimon appears," Takato replied. He took one more look around before settling his gaze on her. "Do you still come here a lot?"

"Yeah, quite a bit." Jeri smiled instinctively as a handful of memories immediately came into her head. "It's funny… I was just thinking yesterday about how we still come here as a group even with everything else that's changed over the years."

"How have things changed for you?" Keeping Takato engaged with her had not been as difficult as Jeri had anticipated. All she really had to do was answer his questions, which all seemed to be about gleaming information about her in particular.

"In some ways more than others." Jeri wouldn't normally be vague about answering questions, but Takato was beating around the bush and obviously had something specific on his mind.

"What about your Takato?"

"What about him?" Jeri asked innocently.

"How…" Takato paused a beat, possibly picking up on the game she was playing. "…different are we exactly?"

"In some ways more than others," Jeri teased.

"Could you stop saying that?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Jeri laughed, but then felt her smile fall away as she looked directly at Takato. She decided the game was over. "Look Takato, I… don't want to make things any more awkward between us, but I think you'd feel a lot better if you just ask what you want to ask."

"Are y-you…" Takato began. He scratched the back of his head as he looked at and away from her. "Are you and I… I mean are you and him-?"

"No," Jeri stated, not having any interest in torturing Takato.

"Okay," Takato said neutrally. He looked away from her, but quickly turned back towards her with a raised eyebrow. "Wait, why not?"

"I don't think there was any single reason." Jeri looked down at the path in front of her. Aside from the fact that they were trying to find her a way home, she had been actively avoiding trying to make this day about her. Of course, she should have foreseen that this wasn't going to be the case. "Part of it was one of the things the two of you do have in common."

"What's that?"

"You feel guilty when bad things happen, even when it's something that's out of your control."

"But he saved you, didn't he? What would he have to feel guilty about?"

Jeri found herself laughing at the question despite that not being the intent behind it. "After we defeated the D-Reaper, he took me aside and I ended up asking him the same thing. Apparently, he felt guilty for not being able to recognize that the 'Jeri' that came home on the Ark was a D-Reaper agent. According to him, he should have known the difference instantly."

"Well, maybe he should have…" Jeri looked back at Takato, only to find that he had already turned away from her.

"That was also almost three years ago," Jeri explained, in part to shift the tone of the conversation. "I think it just turned out that I wasn't what he was looking for."

"I can't imagine him ever feeling that way," Takato responded, trying to sound casual. Jeri found it cute that he was trying to hide his feelings for her despite the topic of conversation.

"Oh really…" Jeri then thought of something that hadn't come up in their conversations so far, and part of her couldn't wait to spring it on him just to see how he reacted.

"What could any girl have that you don't?"

"Violet eyes, red hair, and attitude for days."

At first, Takato didn't react. Then realization washed over his face. "That can't be right."

Except that it very much was. Rika currently had Takato's undivided attention when it came to romantic feelings and, whether either of them knew it or not, had had it since a swarm of Parasimon tried to invade the Real World on Rika's thirteenth birthday. The two had essentially been inseparable since the incident. Jeri might have relayed some of this information to the Takato in front of her were it not for the sound of familiar voices echoing from nearby.

"I'm telling ya, Kenta, I think she genuinely hates me."

"Are you trying to get me to convince you you're wrong? Because I don't think I can do that."

Without even having to look at each other, Jeri and Takato ran off the path they were on and into the brush. Not long after that, this reality's versions of Kazu Shioda and Kenta Kitagawa came into view. Jeri felt some relief upon seeing them. The pair didn't seem to have changed much, or at the very least not on the surface.

"Well, that was close," Takato whispered. Jeri did not need to look at him to tell he was nervous.

"Or maybe not close enough," Jeri muttered to herself. In all honesty, she had been hoping to run into Rika or Henry's counterparts. As she thought about it, however, she considered the possibility that getting Takato to reunite with Kazu and Kenta first could serve as a first step before throwing him at his best friends.

"Jeri…" Takato eyed her suspiciously. "Why are we actually here?"

Jeri looked back at him as she tried to figure out how to answer. In the end, she decided the truth was her best option. "Do you really trust me, Takato?"

Rika had expected Ruki to be completely against the notion of them continuing to patrol together. Instead, she seemed completely apathetic towards the idea. Despite the amount of ground they had covered, the two of them had not exchanged a word since their initial argument. At the moment, they were at a subway station awaiting the next train.

"Have you decided what you're going to say?" Renamon asked via their psychic link, something they hadn't had much occasion to use as of late. The both of them had started to find it amusing that, despite honing and strengthening it over the years, it saw less and less use outside of battle. The pair had gotten used to speaking out loud to one another both in private and in front of their friends.

"I'm still working on it," Rika replied. Unfortunately, talking to Ruki was not as easy as talking to her partner. By all logic, it should have been easier, given that she could anticipate how her double would think. At the moment, however, it was acting as a hindrance as she was afraid of saying the wrong thing. "Is this how Takato feels when we speak?"

"Something to consider in the future, perhaps."

"Yeah, I get it; Karma's a bitch."

Rika considered her friends, trying to figure out how they would deal with situation. Jeri would ask any number of questions that she deemed relevant to the situation. Rika dismissed this method, deciding that anyone without Jeri's disarming personality didn't have much luck talking to her that way. Then, of course, there was Takato, who sometimes seemed to say what she needed to hear by accident. While not always effective, Rika appreciated that it came from an honest place.

With that thought, an idea came to Rika's mind. What she was considering doing was not something that was completely foreign to her, but still difficult for her to do even without her current circumstances. Looking at Ruki, she decided she had nothing to lose.

"I'm sorry," Rika stated loudly and clearly.

Ruki turned her head, but still didn't say speak. She likely wasn't sure what to make of the situation in front of her.

"What I've seen here hasn't been easy for me to accept," Rika continued. "Every second I spend here is a constant reminder of what I was like before I had friends, and how easy it would be for me to backslide. I don't want that to happen, and I took those fears out on you."

"Whatever," Ruki said after a pause. Part of Rika wanted to deck the girl again, as that was not the response she had wanted after being open and honest with her. In the end, a more logical voice won out, telling Rika that getting any response at all was progress.

Rika frowned, but tried her best to continue calmly. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to try a little harder. I'm doing my best over here."

"Trust me; I'm well aware how much better you are than me."

Rika turned away from her double and looked down at the ground. "I'm not better than you," she confessed. "Between us defeating the D-Reaper and getting our partners back, I didn't speak to Henry either. Might never have again if Takato and Jeri hadn't been around to convince me how stupid I was being."

"How'd you patch things up?" Ruki asked, which caused Rika to look back towards her. Despite her indifferent tone, she was interested enough to ask the question.

"That was the worst part. Before I could apologize to Henry, he ended up apologizing to me. Promised me that he was going to make things right no matter what it cost him."

"Well, that's stupid."

"No, that's who he is," Rika shot back. "It's probably who your Henry is too. You just never gave him a chance to prove it."

"Maybe you're right." Ruki's condescending tone was gone, but Rika still wasn't getting enough from her to know if she meant what she was saying. "Maybe I didn't give Henry a chance, but what about the rest of them? What about Takato?"

"Which one?" Rika was once again reminded how complicated a scenario she found herself in. Again, she felt that the only thing she could do was speak honestly. "I can't speak for your reality's Takato. Besides the one fight, I've never met him. Honestly, I can't say I wouldn't feel the same as you if our positions were reversed."

"Then why should I give your Takato a free pass?"

"Because he's my best friend." Rika heard Renamon clear her throat over their link. It may have been a friendly jab to remind Rika that she was listening in, but it could have also been the fact that she had never said that out loud. Regardless, she continued. "I know him, and you just have to trust me when I say that he's not the monster that you're making him out to be."

"I just have to give him a chance to prove it…" Again, Ruki's tone made it difficult to tell whether or not she was considering what was being told to her. There was a few seconds of silence between them before it was interrupted by a familiar alarm.

Rika pulled out her D-Power, which apparently could detect this reality's bio-emergences. She wouldn't get a chance to question this, as the readings on the screen told her that the coming emergence was a large one.

So this was one of maybe three chapters so far where the title came to me pretty quickly. If I do end up writing any stories following this one, they probably won't have individual chapter titles. One less thing to pointlessly obsess over.