Chapter XI.

It was still dark outside when John slowly opened his eyes. The only thing he could hear was the birds chirping and the sound of steady breathing against his chest. Anna was wrapped against his body like a cocoon and his hand was still around her, shielding her from the outside world. John took his time to observe her, looking down slowly, trying not to wake her up. She looked so small and fragile in his large hands. Her mouth was slightly open and he saw her nose, the cutest nose in the world, twitching a couple of times. He had only known her a week, but he couldn't be more certain - he liked her, far more than he should. He became another man when he was in her company - happier, confident, more certain…simply better. John turned his face into her hair and slowly inhaled. She smelled so good, a little bit of lavender and honey. She really was perfect in every possible way.

She slowly started to turn, but did not wake up, and when he started to make little circles on her back, he could see her smile; it was quick, but definitely there. John smiled at her and remembered last night. He had kissed her. He had no right to do it, but how could he resist her when she felt so perfect in his arms? He hadn't planned for it to happen, but he had thought the moment was right, and when she had kissed him back with the same passion, he had known that it was. Everything had been absolutely perfect - her hands had been creating magic on his neck, her legs had been tangled around him, and her lips, oh my god, so gentle and soft on his. But then it all went wrong. The moment his fingers had started to undo the clasp of her bra, she had jumped away from him, and the look she had given him had almost broken John's heart. He was starting to brood when he felt her moving; she was waking up.

Anna opened her eyes and, for a moment, didn't know where she was. Her head was lying on his chest and she slowly looked up to see him smiling at her.

''Hi,'' he greeted her.

She blinked a couple of times, trying to wake her sleepy eyes. She had never been a morning person. ''Hi,'' she said softly.

''How are you? Feeling any better?'' he asked her.

And then she remembered what had happened. She felt ashamed of herself and of her actions; surely he must be so confused. ''Oh, John, I'm so sorry about yesterday,'' she started to apologize.

''Let me stop you there,'' he said and sat up, bringing her with him. '' I already told you, I'm the one who should be apologizing, not you.''

''What are you talking about? I'm the one who ran away like a lunatic.'' She looked him right in the eyes.

''Yeah, but you ran because I made you uncomfortable. And I'm so sorry about that. It's just that I thought…''

''You thought right...'' she cut him off. He was staring back at her and she could see he was confused. He didn't understand - how could he? ''It just...it felt so good and then...I got scared.'' She moved her gaze away.

''Of what?'' he asked and hoped she wouldn't say that the reason was him.

''Me,'' was the only thing she said.

''What do you mean?''

She looked up. ''John…'' she began, and took a deep breath. ''You are the first man I have kissed in 8 years.''

''What? What do you mean?'' He started to laugh, but quickly stopped when he saw that she was dead serious.

''You heard me...'' her voice cracked.

''Hey, hey - it's all right,'' he said and moved to sit next her, pulling the blanket, which was around him, around her. ''We don't need to talk about it.''

''Do you like me?'' Anna asked, looking into his hazel eyes.

She had surprised him; he hadn't been expecting that question. He could feel his heart start to beat faster and his mouth went dry.

''Anna…''

''It's a simple question, John. Yes or no? Because…I like you. I only met you a week ago, and you've made me feel so many things already, and that scares the crap out of me. For the first time in 8 years I've met someone who makes me feel like myself. I find myself happy when I wake up in the morning, and the only thing I can think about through the day is you. Maybe it's not ladylike to say it, but I'm not a lady, and I don't pretend to be. But I want to know...no, I need to know...do you like me? Because if you don't, you have to tell me now. My heart was already broken once and I can't afford to get hurt again,'' she said, her voice rising.

Anna was staring at him with her big, blue eyes and he could see that she was dead serious. She wanted to know how he felt about her and he was terrified to tell the truth. He liked her so much, maybe even loved her, but he was still a married man. He wanted to kiss her, hold her, and tell her she was the best thing that had happened to him in his whole life. He was brooding and she could see it.

''So?'' she asked him and brought him back from his thoughts. ''What's your answer?''

He wanted to lie and tell her he only liked her as a friend, but his heart was quicker than his brain and before he could stop himself, the words were pouring out of his mouth. ''My answer is YES. I like you. I've liked you from the moment I saw you kneeling on your kitchen floor that morning. I like the way you talk, think, move. I like your smile, your laugh, eyes, lips...I like the way your nose twitches when you sleep. I like the way you smell. I like everything about you and I barely even know you. But my answer is still the same. Yes, Anna May Smith - I like you.''

''Really?'' she asked him with teary eyes.

''Really,'' he replied, smiling like a teenager. ''And I really want to spend some more time with you. What do you think? We can hang out, talk, watch the telly…do the normal stuff friends would do.''

''You want to hang out with me without knowing why I ran from you yesterday?'' she asked, not quite believing he'd want to spend his free time with her after what had happened.

''Yeah.'' He saw the hesitation in her eyes, so he added, ''Look, Anna, I just want to spend some proper time with you. Get to know you and learn everything about you. And of course I want to know why you ran, but I can see it in your eyes that you are not ready to tell me, not yet. And that's fine with me, I understand. Everyone has a secret.'' He really meant what he said; he had a secret too. And he needed to tell her about Vera, but not just yet. ''We can go slow. No pressure. Let's start with being just friends and see where it takes us. What do you think?''

She stared at him. ''We can go slow? Like really, really slow?''

He couldn't stop himself from chuckling. ''We can go as slow as you want.''

''Don't get me wrong, I want to spend time with you…it's just that I was hurt by a man 8 years ago and I think my heart is still broken. I don't want to be hurt again, that's all.'' She turned her face away from him; she couldn't look him in the eye.

But he wouldn't let her turn away - he gently placed his finger under her chin and made her look at him. ''So, let me try to fix you. I'm a doctor after all.'' He chuckled and hoped she wouldn't take his little joke the wrong way. And she didn't - she started to giggle. '' All right.'' For some reason she couldn't make herself say no. Her gut was telling her to go forward and if the army had taught her anything, it was that she should always follow her gut, no matter what was at stake.

''All right, what?'' he asked with a grin. He knew exactly what she had meant. He only wanted to hear her say it, so he knew for sure she had said yes and he hadn't only imagined it.

'We can hang out.''

He smiled like a fool. ''Can I give you a hug?'' He wasn't sure if she would want it.

''Yes, please,'' was all she said.

It was already 11 a.m. when they had finally packed everything, said their goodbyes, and started the drive back to the city. The atmosphere in the car was pleasant, not a bit awkward, as Anna had thought it might be. John talked about everything and nothing, and she just listened. She was surprised; she had thought he wouldn't want to have anything to do with her after the way she had behaved yesterday. But he did - he really liked her and wanted to spend more time with her. She couldn't wait to get home and tell Gwen everything.

John, on the other hand, was nervous. He tried to hide it, so he talked and talked, when in reality he was cursing himself. She had told him she had been hurt by someone, and she didn't want to go through that again. And still he hadn't said a word about his marriage. He knew he couldn't yet, but that didn't make him feel any better. She had the right to know what she was getting into. But first he had to make sure that she was safe. If Vera found out he had met someone, she wouldn't think twice about sending her guys after both of them. He really had to talk with Matthew.

They finally arrived at Anna's place. John quickly helped with her backpack and insisted on escorting her to her door.

''So, how about Friday evening...are you free?'' she asked.

''Free for what?'' he replied, standing behind her, still holding her stuff.

''Well, you did say you want to spend some time with me, right?'' She giggled and stepped in to her apartment.

''Right.''

''So...how about Friday? Gwen is throwing me some kind of a welcome home party. You can come, if you want to.''

''Yeah, sure, I'll come,'' he said, setting her backpack by the door.

''It'll start around 8 p.m., but you can come earlier, if you want. We'll need someone to blow up the balloons.'' She tossed her keys onto the table and turned to him. He was leaning against the door frame, looking at her and smiling.

''Well, I don't know about balloons - I'm a smoker, after all - but I will do my best.''

''I'm sure you will,'' she said, and started walking toward him.

''Would you mind seeing me before Friday? I want to talk to you about something.'' That was it - he had decided to tell her. No matter the stakes, she had to know he was married. He wasn't planning to tell her everything yet, but telling her something would be better than nothing.

''Nothing bad, I hope.''

''Well…'' he looked up and saw she was just a foot in front of him. He didn't really know what to do; in a way, he was afraid of her reaction if he said anything now. ''…yes and no.''

''I'm free on Wednesday, if you are?''

''Wednesday is fine. I'll call you, all right?''

''You have my number,'' she said, stepping up on her tiptoes and hugging him. ''Thank you for the weekend,'' she whispered into his ear.

His arms were around her in a second and he slowly pulled her closer to him. When he felt her breath against his ear, it took all his strength not to turn his head and let his lips meet hers.

They were still holding each other when John finally said, ''I have to go now...I have some stuff to do.''

''Anything special?'' She slowly let go of him and stepped back.

''Visiting my mum.'' That was kind of true; he just wasn't mentioning that he lived with her, because his crazy wife had made him leave his house and only called him when she wanted something from him. He hated himself for deceiving her like that. He wanted so badly to tell her the whole truth.

''Oh, not only are you a good man, you're also a good son,'' she joked.

''Well, I try to be. She can still take care of herself, she is not that old, but she likes the company of her only son.''

''Say hello to her and...well, bye till Wednesday.''

''Till Wednesday,'' he said and turned around.

Anna watched him until he disappeared down the stairs. She slowly closed the door and leaned against it. She was absolutely beaming - he was letting her set the pace of their relationship. He wasn't pressuring her, and that meant the world to Anna. Maybe he was the answer to all her prayers. He was so much more than just a broken man, standing on her roof, about to take his own life because of his problems. And maybe that was one reason Anna liked him - he was just like her. He had problems, but he couldn't talk about them, just as she couldn't talk about hers. Maybe, just maybe, they could heal each other.

John was walking through the lobby with his head in the clouds, when all of a sudden someone bumped into him and stumbled.

''Hey, pazi kje hodiš kreten!*'' was the only thing he heard. He turned around to apologize and saw the person who was yelling at him - it was Gwen. One of her patients had cancelled, so she'd been able to go home earlier than usual.

''Oh, it's you...Gwen, right?'' John asked, offering his hand and helping her to her feet.

''John? Yes, yes - it's me, Gwen. Hi! So, you are back, hmm? How was your weekend? What did you do? Did Anna have a good time?'' She was bombarding him with questions that he wasn't ready to answer.

''It was nice.''

''I bet it was,'' she said and winked at him.

''Well, sorry again for bumping into you.''

''You can bump into me any time you want to,'' she said quietly.

''What was that?'' He hadn't heard what she had said.

''Oh, nothing, nothing at all. Is Anna home?''

''She is. I've just dropped her off.'' He could feel her eyes on him; she was analysing him. Maybe she couldn't help herself; after all, she was a psychiatrist. ''Nice to see you again, but I've got to run. Bye, Gwen.''

''Nasvidenje lepi,**'' she said, and stared at him as he made his way out of the building.

He could feel her eyes on his back, and he chuckled. ''What language is that?'' he thought to himself.

He was already by the car, when he hear Gwen calling, ''Hey, John...you dropped your keys when we bumped into each other!''

He checked his jacket pocket and, sure enough, his keys weren't there. ''Oh, thank you.'' He turned around and took them from Gwen.

''Can I give you a hug?'' she asked out of the blue.

''Sorry?'' He stared at her. She was laughing and repeated her question.

''I don't know what are you doing or saying to Anna, but she is happy. And I just want to give you a hug, because I'm so very thankful that you walked into her life. When you left the other day, she was absolutely glowing. So, thank you for that.''

Before he could say anything, she threw herself into his arms. He didn't mind; she was cute and funny in her own way. She wasn't making much sense to him, especially when she spoke in a language he didn't understand, but he liked her.

''Well, you're welcome, I guess,'' he said, when she finally let go of him. ''But I really need to go now.''

''Yes, yes, go. Take care. Bye!" she called and waved at him like a lunatic.

John drove away with a smile on his face, but little did he know that the black BMW following behind him was watching every move he made.

beta: annambates :D THANK YOU

thanks for all the R&F&F :*

*''Watch where you going you asshole!''

** ''Bye beautiful.''