Sorry if the characters are a little OOC… My cousin said I made Konan too nice, but whatever :P
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, the Akatsuki, My Chemical Romance or any of their songs, or the phrase "Bring on the Trumpets!". That came from an epic TV advert. I own Yuki, Bob and Steve.
RANDOM STORY ABOUT THE AUTHOR: This morning, I looked up Greensleeves on YouTube (it was the first time I've heard it), then decided I wanted to learn to play it on the piano. So at 9.00 on a Sunday morning, I printed off the sheet music, and after about an hour of practising and nearly driving my parents insane, I can now play it. It might be the simplified one-page version, but it still sounds nice :)
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NOTHING could have prepared me for the horrific scene in front of my eyes.
The refrigerator was EMPTY.
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I fell to my knees, throwing my hands to the ceiling dramatically.
"Why?! For the love of fudge, WHY?!" I wailed, putting my face in my hands.
"Um, Yuki-chan, we-" Tobi started.
I grinned at him before jumping back up, closing the fridge door and going back to being cheerful again. "Oh well! You guys have other food, right? Y'know, in case of an earthquake or pandemic or zombie-invasion…"
I trailed off, while Tobi stared at me, surprised by my random mood change.
"What?" I asked defensively. "I just wanted to be dramatic, okay?"
I rummaged through a few cupboards before I found a pack of prawn-flavoured instant ramen, thankfully something within my extremely limited cooking repertoire.
Clapping my hands happily, I put a pot of hot water on the stove, before adding the pack of noodles and stirring it. I would've jumped with joy at the sight of one of my favourite foods, but I was running low on energy.
3 ½ Minutes Later-
I triumphantly sat down at the table with my bowl of ramen, watching as Kakuzu eyed me warily from the end of the table.
"You'd better be paying for that."
I nearly spat my ramen out in surprise. I swallowed hastily, causing one of the noodles to go down the wrong way, and collapsed into a coughing fit.
Tobi thumped my back in an attempt to be helpful. Hard.
"Ah, thanks Tobi." I smiled gratefully at him. "You didn't need to hit my back that hard though…"
The crazy-mask-wearing guy was glaring at me, and I remembered why I choked on my noodles.
"Oh yeah…." I turned back to him. "Excuse me?!"
He glared at me with his creepy dark green eyes.
"I said," He informed me sourly. "You had better be paying for that food. The whole supply is carefully worked out for each members' needs, no more, no less."
I stared at him.
"But I've eaten stuff here before! I ate last night and this morning…" I protested.
"Zetsu was unexpectedly called out on a mission. That was why there was enough extra food for you, as well as a spare bed."
"Spare bed…?" I trailed off. "EW!"
Oh no.
I did NOT sleep in plant-man's bed last night. That is just creepy! I mean, no offence to the guy, but y'know… Ew.
He rolled his eyes.
"Obviously, all the bedding was changed. But you're still paying for that." He went back to reading what looks like a newspaper.
"Well in case you haven't noticed, I kind of gotkidnapped, so I'm afraid I don't have money handy." I rolled my eyes before going back to eating my uber-deliciously delicious ramen. Mm, ramen.
Tobi began to chatter to me about 'Yuki-chan's mission with sempai!'
I groaned quietly.
"Tobi, can we talk about something else please? I don't really wanna think about that just now."
"No problem Yuki-chan! But why doesn't Yuki-chan want to talk about it?"
I sighed.
"It's not the mission Tobi - well, okay, it kind of is – but it's mainly the fact that I have to go with those two." I looked pointedly at the end of the table, where Itachi and Deidara were sitting. As usual, they didn't notice me.
Damn, I need to work on my psychic powers…
Which are non-existent.
…Kill joy…
"What's wrong with Deidara-sempai and Itachi-san?" He asked, a little too loudly. They both looked over at me suspiciously.
Oops…
Quickly, I looked the other way, and feigned another coughing fit. Hidan glanced over at me.
"Do you have a bad chest or something?" He asked lazily.
Well, I used to have asthma… Okay, mild asthma. When I was 5.
"Um, yes!" I said, glancing over at Pein to make sure he was in earshot. "I have really bad hay-fever too. I mean, I would never make it as a ninja-"
"Nice try Yuki," Pein said without looking up. "But your medical records were clean."
I muttered an un-repeatable word under my breath.
"What was that?" Pein asked, acting as if he hadn't heard.
"That's kind of creepy, y'know." I remarked, subtly changing the subject. "You guys know tons of stuff about me, and I know practically nothing about you. It's stalker-ish."
"Well, my name is Pein and I am the leader of a criminal organisation called the Akatsuki. Happy?" He told me, before pointing at Konan who was sitting next to him. "Go round the table and each of you give some information about yourself."
That surprised me really. I didn't think he was that nice. Although everything he had just told me, I knew already.
That was probably deliberate, dumbass.
They went anti-clockwise around the table, to Pein's right. He and Konan were at the head of the table.
Konan started.
"My name is Konan, and I enjoy origami."
"I'm Kisame." The shark-man seated next to her grinned at me. "I fight with a sword called Samahada, but if anyone else touches it, spikes will protrude from the handle." He was still grinning when he said that. Creepy. "My partner is Itachi."
"Oh!" I was slightly surprised. "So you two are, together?"
I assume Kisame was blushing slightly, because it made him turn an interesting shade of purple. Hidan sniggered loudly, and for a second I thought I saw a small smile flicker across Pein's face.
"No, no!" Kisame said hurriedly.
"Members of the Akatsuki are each given a partner to work with." Pein explained. "They go on missions together."
"Oh." I said sheepishly, turning slightly red. "Sorry, I thought-"
"We know what you thought." Sasori interrupted in a bored tone.
"Well, sor-ree mister impatient. Who rattled your cage?" I replied sarcastically, before sticking my tongue out at him. As usual, my good-natured immaturity was ignored.
He was next anyway.
"My name is Sasori, and I create puppets. I have a strong interest in art, and I believe that True Art should be eternal." He said monotonously.
"I'm Deidara, and I believe art should be short and fleeting! Art is a Bang, un!"
Wow, those two must get along well. *Note sarcasm*
Hidan was sitting across from me.
"I'm Hidan, bitch. I'm immortal, and better than all of you. Deal with it."
"Okay?" I said slowly, before Kakuzu glanced over the top of his newspaper.
"My name is Kakuzu, and I'm the treasurer for the Akatsuki." He raised his newspaper back up again. Jeez, these people were so impolite.
There was silence for a few seconds before Tobi nudged me.
"Your turn, Yuki-chan!" He informed me happily.
I raised an eyebrow.
"But you guys know all about me already, so why bother?" I said slightly sarcastically. (If I ever meet the person who invented sarcasm, I will so ask for their autograph.)
"Just hurry up." Sasori told me.
"Fine." I said, glaring at him. I suck at glaring though, so it didn't really work. "My name's Yuki, and I'm 14. I like reading, music and sugar. I dislike the colour pink and people who kick puppies, among many other things. Your turn Tobi."
I was met with incredulous stares.
"People who kick puppies, un?" Deidara was looking at me like I was crazy. Actually, he was right. Mwahahaha. But seriously, kicking dogs is just sad.
"What?" I asked innocently. "It's true!"
He just shook his head slightly as Tobi started.
"Tobi is a good boy!" He exclaimed happily, before sitting back in his chair. "Itachi-san's turn!"
Itachi rolled his eyes and sighed disinterestedly.
"My name is Itachi Uchiha, I dislike a lot of things and my favourite food is dango."
"Dango?" I blinked at him. "Really?"
He looked at me strangely.
"Yes. Any particular reason as to why you seem so surprised?"
I shrugged.
"You just strike me as more of a hate-the-world-and-everything-in-it type of guy. They usually don't like sugar. Simples!" I said cheerily, giving them the peace sign.
"Well, aren't you the stereotypical one…" He muttered.
"Aren't you the hypocritical one?" I said, mimicking him slightly.
My eyes met with Itachi's inky-black ones for a second, and I was sure I saw a hint of confusion in them.
I stood up, and grabbed my plate while pointing to the kitchen. "Now Tobi, to the kitchen!" I exclaimed loudly in my super-hero voice, and snickered all the way at everyone's expressions.
Ah, I love screwing with people.
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The next morning was rather uneventful, sadly. It mostly consisted of getting up abnormally early (which I did with a surprising lack of protest, mostly due to the fact I was counting on leaving before Kisame discovered he had turned whichever shade of purple that blue and pink make…), packing a rucksack and eating breakfast (cereal in my case) before departing.
I had packed my old school rucksack with some of my clothes, a couple of books and my ipod (of course), as well as a few essentials. Steve was slightly too big to fit in my bag, so I left his top sticking out and pulled both zips as far up against him as they would go, leaving me with a zipped-up black rucksack, covered in pin-badges, with a golf club sticking up in the middle.
Pein presented me with a cloak before I left, identical to the ones all of the Akatsuki wore. It was surprisingly light, and reached down to just under my knees. The sleeves went down to my fingertips, which suited me just fine. I've always liked sleeves that covered my hands, and it saves me wearing gloves when it's cold. It had several inside pockets, as well as two on the outside, like a normal coat. Underneath, I had on a long-sleeved red T-shirt, with a black short-sleeved T-shirt over the top; and a pair of dark blue jeans. I didn't really look like someone on a mission, but believe it or not, I have a surprising lack of ninja clothes. Probably because I'm not a ninja.
Shivering at the cold which bit into me as soon as I stepped out, I buried my face into the high collar, which covered most of my face.
Deidara smirked at me.
"Aw, are you cold?" He asked mockingly.
"As cold as a llama in a snowdrift." I replied bitterly.
He looked confused for a second. Haha, my plan worked.
"Llama's have fur, un. I doubt they would be cold."
"A bald llama." I countered.
"Why would a bald llama be in a snowdrift, un?"
"Deidara, that was your cue just to say 'touché' and let us move on with our lives."
"…You make no sense, un."
"Neither does your face!" I returned sharply, before glancing around. We were in the forest again.
Jeez, it was big.
Better stick close to those two then…
"That comeback is old." He replied smugly.
"So is the Third Hokage, and everybody respects him." I said. I was starting to enjoy myself now, and it was taking my mind off of the distance we would have to walk.
"What's the Third Hokage got to do with anything, un?"
I faked a shocked expression.
"Really? The supposedly intelligent ninja can't put two and two together?"
"At least I know what two and to make, un."
"So do I!"
"Really? What do they make then?"
"Negative 2 squared."
"…What?"
I smirked triumphantly.
"Haha! I outsmarted a ninja!" I said in a sing-song voice.
Deidara glared at me.
"You did not outsmart me, un."
"Oh really? I beg to differ, Dei Dei." His eye twitched at the nickname.
Hehehe… Let's see how far we can go, shall we?
"Just admit it, I have the upper hand here." I teased, still walking at a leisurely pace, alongside Deidara. Weasel was a couple of steps ahead of us; listening to our argument with an expression of quiet amusement on his face. "Face it Dei, you'll never be able to keep up with my random mind."
"You just insulted yourself, un."
"Random is not an insult, it's a compliment." I glanced over at him before yelling. "Bring on the trumpets!"
Deidara and Itachi stared at me.
"What the HELL, un?!"
I giggled quietly.
"Bring on the trumpets!" I yelled again, punching the air with my fist. "Bring on the trumpets!"
This continued for exactly 6 minutes and 37 seconds, much to the confusion and irritation of my companions. After several (failed) attempts to shut me up, they just walked on in silence, giving me the occasional 'WTF?' look.
After that, I decided to be quiet and took out my ipod. Placing the large black and silver headphones on my head, I put it on shuffle.
A few seconds later, the sound of a guitar strumming and small explosions filled my ears. I recognised the song instantly as 'Mama', by My Chemical Romance. I hummed along quietly, sticking my hands in my pockets and continuing to walk alongside the two ninja. Deidara seemed bewildered that I had finally stopped yelling, and they didn't even have to gag me! My goldfish would be proud. If I owned a goldfish, that is. Let's just say that if a random goldfish ever cared enough to be my pet, then it might have been chuffed for me that I managed to keep my mouth shut.
My ponderings over goldfish were interrupted by a large drop of water that landed on the tip of my nose.
"Damn, it's raining un."
I glanced up at the sky, which was filled with dark clouds. Smiling to myself, I removed an umbrella from my rucksack, before sliding it back onto my shoulders.
The rain was rapidly getting heavier, and more drops began to hit my face and hair as I opened my black umbrella, which was patterned with mini red strawberries. It was made for one person, but two could have managed. I saw Deidara eyeing it.
"What's wrong guys?" I asked innocently. "Don't you have umbrellas?"
Deidara shook his head slowly.
"Oh, what a shame." I said, pretending to be sympathetic. "And it looks like the rain's going to get a lot worse. I guess you guys are gonna get soaked, huh?" I smiled brightly at them.
Deidara subtly stepped a little closer to me, so he was by my side.
"Hey, can I-"
I shook my head.
"Uh-uh! You tried to blow me up, remember?"
Deidara fake-sighed.
"Really? You're going to let a small thing like that get in the way of a potential friendship, un?"
I put my finger on my lip, pretending to consider.
"Hm, let me think… YES." I twirled my umbrella, causing the water droplets to fly onto his face. I smiled at him cheerfully. "I don't really like it when people try to kill me."
Itachi was slyly approaching my other side. Damn, he was sneaky. He nearly made it underneath before I noticed him.
"Nice try weasel." I took a step to the left, in the opposite direction from him. "You made me run laps."
"Those were leader's orders."
I considered for a second.
"Fair enough. You did threaten to kill innocent kittens though…" I grinned and walked on ahead of them both, satisfied in the fact that I would be dry by the end of the rainfall, while they would be drenched. I took joy in that small fact, and it cheered me on, despite the cold wind that had started batter against me mercilessly, determined to penetrate my cloak.
Let me get one thing straight though, I'm not a total bitch. Normally, I would have shared my umbrella. Okay, maybe not shared it, but I wouldn't rub it in everyone else's faces. However, these two were currently seen as the enemy, and so I took it upon myself to gloat mercilessly, much to their annoyance.
"Deidara, your hair is starting to frizz." I informed him cheerily.
Deidara's eye started to twitch again.
Haha.
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Sorry for all the picking on Deidara in this chapter… ^^'
Okay, I have an announcement! I'm going to put a poll up on my profile for who you would like Yuki to end up with, so please take a few minutes to check it out if you want a say.
HOWEVER, please note that although this will influence my decision, I will still have the final say; so please don't bombard me with hate mail if the result is not what you wanted.
Thanks, and review please!