This is War, So Make the Most of It.
Hitsugaya looked down at the severed head that lay before him. He sighed. This meant a full scale war with the higher Rukongai districts. At least the obnoxious aide had gotten what was coming for him. He had already sent a hell butterfly back to Yamamoto informing him of the situation. Soifon had taken one look at the Alliance's answer and had left to arm the Onmitsukido.
There wasn't anything strategically difficult about the Shinigami's position. The districts had been designed for housing, not an extended siege. While there were small walls surrounding each district, Hitsugaya's power could easily demolish them.
Again, the small captain looked at the 80th district's rather violent declaration of war. He began to massage his throbbing temples. It would have been so much easier if they had just surrendered.
Soifon was sitting in her tent, just outside the borders of the 75th, looking over a map of the area. Her heart really wasn't in it. It had been over 50 years since Yoruichi had abandoned her to go to the real world with that idiot Urahara Kisuke. She had tried to convince herself otherwise, but she still hadn't really gotten over her loss.
The plan was simple. Hitsugaya would destroy the walls of the district and then the combined forces of the Onmitsukido and the 10th division would overpower any resistance that the 80th residents could muster. Soifon herself didn't really believe the rumors about Demon, dismissing them as figments of drunken men's imaginations.
An Onmitsukido soldier shunpoed inside her tent. He bowed respectfully, grabbing onto a nearby table for support. Soifon could see that he was wounded. That was odd- Hitsugaya hadn't told her that the invasion had begun.
"They're… coming," the soldier choked out.
----
Aizen surveyed the chaos in the higher Rukongai districts with mild amusement. It had been child's play to simply make himself invisible and sneak along with Hitsugaya and Soifon. Now, as he watched the battle between the Shinigami and Rukongai residents, he couldn't help but smile.
It had been an error on his part to contact Leader. He had probably already dismissed the arrancar as an insignificant thing, and if he did acknowledge them, he hadn't made any move to contact them. The man had already formed a sort of alliance with Demon, providing him with the thrill of battle in exchange for peace. This deal was also quite beneficial for Aizen: with his new source of entertainment, Demon no longer paid visits to Hueco Muendo, looking for fights.
If he was lucky, Hitsugaya or Soifon would get themselves killed in the battle. Satisfied with the events unfolding before him, Aizen returned to Seireitei.
----
When I proposed that they go out to meet the enemy, I was met with silence and blank looks.
"What?" someone asked. "That's crazy. All our food supplies are inside the district, and-"
"Fine," I muttered. "If you pussies don't want to do it, I'll go myself. Anyone with me?"
And so, the best fight, topping the brawl by the river, my little excursions to Hueco Muendo, any fight I have ever had, began.
The old farts back in the tent gave me fifteen minutes to rampage through the Shinigami, and then I had to withdraw. I let loose a little reiatsu, and then they decided to give me twenty.
Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Yachiru had decided to join me. Fighting my way through the enemy, I tried to find someone that was just a little bit stronger than the people I was fighting. Even though there were lots of them, they were kind of weak. It was like eating junk food, and tonight I wanted to eat out.
Then, I spotted him. He was really short, with spiky white hair, but he wore a Captain's haori, and he seemed to be the one shouting orders. Ikkaku and I made for him at the same time.
Ikkaku noticed me, and stopped in his tracks. Noticing our sudden hesitation, someone tried impaling me. I grabbed him and threw him at Ikkaku.
Ikkaku ducked, and the guy crashed into a tree. So much for him.
"What the hell?!" Ikkaku screamed. "That guy's mine!"
"Fuck you!" I shouted back. "I saw him first!"
Ikkaku swore at me. "There's only one fair way to solve this!" He raised his fist.
"Jan-ken-pon!" we screamed. I won.
As Ikkaku swore, I charged the perplexed Captain.
----
Hitsugaya was very confused. He had just witnessed two grown men play… Jan-ken-pon, it looked like. He shook his head. He must be seeing things.
However, the sword that almost cut him in half was very real. Snapping himself back to his senses, he jumped back, avoiding his attacker's second strike. "Sit upon the frozen heavens, Ice Ring!" he shouted. (A/N: I don't know Japanese, so for the previous Zanpakuto names, I had to use English. For consistency's sake, I had to do the same thing here. Ice Ring=Hyouinmaru. Hyouinmaru sounds ten times cooler (no pun intended). Oh well.)
Zaraki chuckled. "Getting serious, eh?"
Zaraki charged Hitsugaya. "He's fast!" he thought. He raised his sword to defend himself.
The blade ran straight through Ice Ring, impaling him through the chest. Pain flashed throughout Hitsugaya's body, and the last thing he ever saw was the grin on the monster's face.
Someone flash stepped behind Zaraki. "Demon, your time is up."
"Already? Man, you guys aren't any fun." He turned to his opponent, who was now kneeling on the ground. "What's up with you? Later."
The two men left. As they turned their backs on Hitsugaya, one of his subordinates ran up to him. "Hitsugaya-taicho? Are you alright?"
Hitsugaya got to his feet, slowly. He passed a hand over his heart. Nothing. If that monster could make him see things with his reiatsu alone, he had to be strong.
Sealing, Hyouinmaru, he walked back to the command tent. Raising the flap, he entered the tent. Soifon was standing, pacing, and looking altogether furious.
"How many dead?" he asked briefly.
"About a dozen," she replied. "They were in a hurry, and didn't check to see if their opponents were actually dead. As a result, almost fifty men are wounded."
Hitsugaya had cursed. "What do we do now? Continue the siege with over sixty men incapable of battle?"
Soifon ran a hand through her hair. "No, actually," she snapped. "A hell butterfly just came in. We are to charge forward, ignore our losses and take the districts as soon as possible. We begin in two hours."
Hitsugaya was not surprised. He had entered the tent expecting madness, and he had gotten it.
"Exactly why are we supposed to ignore our losses?" he asked through clenched teeth.
Soifon frowned. "It's not in our place to question our orders."
Hitsugaya nodded. "Is it ever?" he muttered as he left the tent.
----
Kenpachi entered the 12th division confident that nobody would be suspicious of his presence. If he was confronted by other Shinigami, which was unlikely, given his stature as Captain, he would just respond that he was delivering paperwork. If the Shinigami actually checked to see if any paperwork had come in from the 11th, which was even more unlikely, he would just kill them. Oh no. What a pity.
He had replaced the drive he had stolen from Kurotsuchi's office with a fake. He had stolen all the passwords. Kurotsuchi would never notice. A self-proclaimed genius (not that he wasn't a genius, just arrogant) would never rely on his backup password drives. So he just left it lying around. When he had first laid eyes on the captain, he knew that he was a first-class freak with something very useful just waiting to be stolen in his freak arsenal, and had immediately targeted his division. He had seen some incompetent fool sneak into his office to steal the drive, using it for the passwords.
He plugged the drive into a terminal and scrolled through the inventory and data lists. Useful…useful…not so useful… Oo, very useful, useful…
----
"Drink up, motherfuckers! You'll fight better if you're drunk!" Ikkaku shouted. He turned to Zaraki. "Ain't that right, Zaraki?"
Zaraki responded by draining his entire sake bottle in one gulp. As he slammed the bottle on the table, it shattered. "Crap," he muttered. "Someone give me another bottle."
The moment the bottle was handed to Zaraki, he struck his sword against the stone wall of the bar. Creating a spark, he snapped the handle of a chair off and made a torch. He lit the sake bottle on fire and threw it at the door.
The Molotov Cocktail hit the intruding Shinigami right in the chest. Screaming, he was immediately consumed in flames. Zaraki got up, grinning. "I can sense killer intent from a mile away, fuckers," he hissed. "So come out and fight like men!"
Ikkaku was right. Men did fight better when they were inebriated. Grabbing the nearest weapon, chair, or sake bottle, the thugs charged. At that moment in time, the world's biggest, baddest, bloodiest bar fight ever to occur in any of the three worlds was born.
The Shinigami that had looked inside the bar was a nobody. The bar had been situated close to the walls of the district, the better to welcome new travelers with a drink and a couple new scars to boast about. The fool had heard the noise coming from the bar, and, ignoring the cries of protest from his commanding officers, had opened the door, instead of waiting for his reinforcements to surround the building.
Not that it would really matter to the overall battle. In fact, when he opened the door, history was made. Zaraki was the first dead person to ever use a Molotov Cocktail in war. Ever.
The moment he ran out the bar, Zaraki began to seek out the kid he had fought earlier. It wasn't very hard. He was leaking reiatsu out, cutting down thug after thug.
Zaraki, triumphant in his search, exclaimed in joy. "Gotcha!" he cackled. Raising his sword, he charged the white-haired captain.
"Sit upon the Frozen Heavens, Ice Ring!"
---
Blades of wind tore up the ground around Yachiru. She noticed Shinigami creeping up behind her and to her sides. She wouldn't show these people any mercy. They were invading her new home, attacking her friends, and trying to kill her. "Cutting Wind!" she shouted, twirling her Zanpakuto around. Dancing Wind spun around faster and faster, until it was just a blur. Wind blew her opponents back, and the blade sliced them up.
"Sting all enemies to perfect death, Hornet!" Yachiru turned to the new voice. It was a woman, wearing a captain's haori and a murderous expression on her face. "You will die," she seethed. (A/N: Suzumebachi=hornet. Command phrase=long, unwieldy, and nowhere near as cool as Shunsui and Juushiro's poems. On another note, you may begin chanting "cat fight" now.)
----
"Eh, Yumichika?" Ikkaku said. This was unusual, as Ikkaku was in the middle of a battle, and the middle of a battle is no time to talk.
"What?" Yumichika asked. His five bladed flail flashed in the sunlight. Behind him, Ikkaku could see many Shinigami writhing on the ground, several parallel scratch marks marring their skin.
"There Shinigami only brought along two captains, right?"
Yumichika nodded slowly.
"And Zaraki's got one of them, and Yachiru's got the other."
Yumichika nodded again.
"And I haven't even seen any lieutenants or third seats."
Yumichika swore.
A new wave of challengers came up to the two dejected men. Ikkaku turned to Yumichika. "You know, if this is going to be easy, might as well make it fun."
"Make two lines!" he shouted out, turning to the Shinigami. They hesitated, not used to being given orders by the enemy.
Ikkaku's eyes narrowed. "If you're going to die, isn't it best to do so with superficial wounds?"
Most of the Shinigami ran on the spot. Some stayed. They were not afraid of combat, and therefore, they were the only ones fit for battling the two men.
"Make the lines," Ikkaku said. "We're going to do this one-on-one."
Ikkaku stood with his back to a hill. He turned to the first man in his line. Raising his fist, he played the game. "Jan-ken-pon!"
The Shinigami won, taking the high ground. Determination burned in his eyes. Ikkaku liked that. He released Demon Lights. The wreckage of the bar was nearby, several unopened casks of sake just lying around.
"The next person in line has to go get sake!" he shouted. "These are fights to the death. And if you hold back, it'll get messy."
----
Butterflies covered Yachiru's body. On the other hand, Soifon was barely injured, and looking fresh.
Yachiru remembered the second division captain, and that she also led Onmitsukido. It was strange, because the last time she had saw the second division captain, she was tall, dark skinned, and definitely didn't have a stick up her ass as large as the one she saw up this one's.
The woman she was battling was kind of short and pale skinned, with black hair. Her Zanpakuto had a very wicked effect, judging by the "two hits in the same spot and you're dead" statement she had given. Already, she had been cut in several places. The battle was going to be an uphill battle for her. Of course, those were the ones that were always the most fun to fight. Grinning, she spun her Zanpakuto around, charging the captain.
Zaraki noticed Yachiru's plight. His fight with the small captain was going in his favor. The captain had pulled bankai, but, in Zaraki's eyes, it still wasn't enough. That dragon could fly circles around him all it wanted, but if it took a sword to the face, it would shatter, and the game would be over. Zaraki wasn't really sure how the kid had become Captain. Oh, no, it's ice. Release a bit of reiatsu and it melts.
Yachiru, on the other hand, looked like she was struggling against the captain she was fighting. He knew that she would hate him for helping her, but he didn't have much of a choice. He couldn't just let her die, could he? He called out to Hitsugaya. "Hey, kid, hurry it up. Get stronger or give up."
Hitsugaya cursed. The tall man was treating him like a child. He was young, and had only recently learned Bankai, and therefore only knew a few attacks. However, his limited arsenal would still suffice against his opponent
Swinging his crescent chain blade forward, he caught Zaraki around the chest. Unfazed, the larger man grabbed the chain and yanked. Hitsugaya flew forward, but he didn't care. "Thousand Years' Ice Prison!"
Ice crushed Zaraki, freezing him. When it crumbled, it didn't kill him, but he was unconscious. Hitsugaya moved forward to finish him off.
But Zaraki was the hero. And the hero never dies.
A man, robed in black, stepped forward in front of the body. Nobody had ever seen his face clearly before, and his strange gait made it difficult to estimate his height. Black cloth covered his entire body, so you couldn't tell what skin color he was.
But, if you lived in Zaraki, you knew his name.
And you never messed with him.
"It appears," he said. "That you have dispatched Demon. You must be very strong."
"I'm not a Captain for nothing."
The man grinned, almost imperceptibly, as he nodded in agreement. He drew his Zanpakuto. "Put out the sun, Dark Reaper."
The blade changed, becoming a scythe. "Just like the Grim Reaper," Hitsugaya thought to himself.
And then the sun disappeared, just like Leader had commanded it to.
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