I am on such a writing high, just wanting to get the end, it's already written! So… onward!
Now Taking Numbers
The Gala was a huge success and Dale got some seriously good political buzz for it. Lillian's even being nominated for all kinds of awards for her efforts toward helping women.
After the Gala I was on such an emotional high- I had aided in the lives of many women in need, writing in my journal was making so much easier to handle thoughts of that night. The other day I'd cut myself while dicing onions and even as it bled something awful all over my hands I didn't freak out. I looked down at them, my mind flashing back to that night when I was smeared with blood and I washed it away.
Because blood washes away. It may take a lot of bleach, and hot water, eventually it's gone.
The biggest reason I've been so happy? Edward. There's something about knowing that he loves me, and being able to express it whenever I want. Like the other day, he was doing his homework and whenever he does math his lip curls up in confusion and he runs a hand through hair and he's just so adorably frustrated I can't help it.
"I love you." I tell him with a small smile. He looks up from his homework and smiles brightly.
"And I love you."
The only thing I can't stop are the nightmares. When I'm conscious I can fend off an attack by going over my memory grounding technique. It's when I'm sleeping that I lose control and usually end up screaming myself, and others, awake.
With the Gala out of the way, it's time for the next big holiday, Christmas.
Christmas is a special time in the cul-de-sac. Once Thanksgiving passes and December first strike the whole neighborhood transforms.
William puts a large wreath and bow on the fence, and hangs lights along the rock wall around our yards. He also puts up huge displays in his yard, reindeer, santa, elves, light up candy-canes; he gets very into the season.
Liz is on non-stop planning mode. She hosts Christmas and she throws herself into it with absolute gusto.
Dad decorates the backyard with Christmas lights for our Christmas Night Paintball War. The Trophy for which is even more glamorous than the Thanksgiving Paintball War trophy.
Esme is always baking something that makes her house smell just like what you imagine Santa's workshop looks like, the smells often waft out of the house and make the entire cul-de-sac smell amazing.
While the adults make their own merry, we enjoy the time off from school,
and the heavy snowfall. Each house now has a hilarious snowman scene in their front yard, except the Masen's because Liz threatened us so we built the Masen's in the backyard on an epic scale to spite her.
In front of our house is a war scene. Snowmen hid behind walls and hold and aim stick rifles. They don camo scarves and we get a bottle of water tinted with food coloring to make it realistic.
Mama Esme has a group of children, a snowman depicting each of us. Emmett's is making out with Rose's. Jaspers is boosting Alice into a tree. And Edward's is stopping mine from falling.
In front of the Hales we make a couple of swimming snowmen being trailed by shark fins. The scene is finished with blue food dye for the 'water', black food dye for the shark's fins, and red for an injured swimmer. Dale finds this particularly hilarious.
In front of the Brandon's we've made a fashion show, complete with some borrowed lingerie from Cynthia herself.
In the Masen's backyard we go full scale and make a giant squid attacking the treehouse. It's the coolest things we've ever made and numerous pictures are taken.
With Christmas so close I spend a lot of my free time thinking about what I want to get everyone. There are so many important people in my lives and I want to do them all justice.
I also spend a lot of time pouring through old photo albums, looking at Mom and Phil and Bree and Ben, and remembering our own traditions.
Because of the melding of all the families we end up blending a lot of traditions. For instance, the Brandon's secret Santa tradition is meshed with Esme and Liz's Christmas Eve pajamas tradition. We all get a secret santa and we all get each other pajamas to open on Christmas Eve, that way we can wear them to bed and have new jammies come Christmas morning.
There's also our tradition all camping out under the tree which welded seamlessly with the Hales tradition of sleeping together as a family. We all go to Liz's for Christmas because the parents got tired of us all running around playing musical house when we could all be together.
Liz prepares a room for each of us. And each has a little individual Christmas tree, decorated with our homemade, and handed down ornaments. We all sleep on rolls under the tree as families, and the congregate to the big tree in the morning for presents.
It's really magical that way.
But before Christmas, there's a small holiday we all take joy in celebrating.
Esme's birthday.
Ever since we were ten, birthday parties for the parents have been planned and organized by us kids.
Obviously the adults chip in, spouses to something special, and they support each other as friends.
But the big party is on us.
We arranged for Carlisle to take Esme out this morning for a nice brunch or whatever he had planned for her while we prepared. Rose and Emmett were on decorating detail, it was mostly Rose making tasteful decisions while she bossed Emmett around like a trained monkey.
Jasper and Alice tackled entertainment, games, and more importantly, the costumes.
Edward and I were unanimously elected to do food, and that's how it's always been. Well, it's usually me, and Edward is on music, but this year I forced him to help, especially since he can secretly cook.
"Emmett I swear to God, just move the damn thing and stop whining." Emmett is currently clearing the music room and he's been complaining about every chair and piece of furniture he comes across.
"Bella love do you want me to add anything to this?" Edward is referring to the two large pans he's prepared. Each has a substantial roast surrounded by carrots, asparagus, and red potatoes. It's going to be delicious.
"No that looks good, put them in the oven please?"
Edward and I do this shuffled around each other, I open the top open and pull out a pan of rolls, ducking under his arm as he reaches over me to place the roast in. Then we do the same with the bottom oven making me laugh.
"It's scary how in sync you guys are sometimes." Alice calls from the doorward.
I fumble with the pan at her sudden appearance and give her a glare.
"Mary Alice what have I told you about scaring me while I'm holding hot pans?"
Alice's eyebrow raises subtly, it's a very Cynthia move.
"Isabella Marie, what have I told you about calling me Mary Alice?" Then it's a stare off until Edward shoos her away with a dishtowel.
"Alright, stop distracting her she's got to make the cake."
Ah yes, the cake.
Mom used to be really into hobbies. It was her hobby to find and master hobbies. She did basket weaving for a while, candle making, pastry making, yoga, zumba, if it's offered at the Rec Center, she's tried it.
And of course, she dragged me to every single class. For the most part, I was awful, my lack of coordination make any kind of physical activity a disaster, and my clumsiness always translated into crafts with misshapen candles and uneven baskets.
But when it was cooking, it was like I was in my element.
Mom recognized this and started taking more cooking classes, mostly because she was pretty terrible in the kitchen, and because she knew how much I loved cooking, and how much I missed my lessons from Mama Esme and Liz.
One class in particular was really fun, cake decorating. I found that I enjoyed piping pretty little vines, and creating beautiful blooming flowers.
For Esme all I can think, is how regal she is, she's so graceful and kind, and I always picture her as this queen.
The white cake is decorated in pale pink as the base. I spent a pretty good amount of time trimming the cake so it was even, and then going over the frosting over and over so it's smooth.
I take a seat at the island, a few piping bags with different tips are already waiting for me.
I've already warned Edward ahead of time. When I'm in the groove of decorating, I lose myself the same way he loses himself to a melody on the piano, and I've found that any interruptions usually cause me to jerk and ruin a design, or that I can never quite get in the flow of things. So Edward is in charge of fending off the others while I put in my headphones and listen to the peaceful sounds of Edward's playing.
A few years ago Edward uploaded a bunch of my classical favorites onto my ipod, it's my happy place when Edward isn't around.
In an off white frosting that looks vintage and aged, I pipe elegant arches and swoops that evoke images of the moulding inside a luxurious french chateaux, tiny precise dots, stark shells, intricate little filigrees. I sit hunched over the cake, turning the display tray slowly eyes assessing for any needed detail, any missed loop, I'm proud to say it's a masterpiece. Claire de Lune tinkles softly in my ears, my favorite song and my favorite rendition by Edward, slowly, I pull out my headphones and sit up. My upper back and shoulders ache from hunching, and my fingers feel stiff from holding the bag so steady. When I turn, Edward surprises me with a swift kiss, eyes burning with a very strong emotion.
"Bella." He breathes when he pulls back, I'm so stunned I don't respond.
"You don't understand how beautiful you were, I've never seen you look so focused, and so peaceful. Jesus Bella, how long have you been able to do something like this?" He's stunned, arm gesturing to the cake.
I shrug, but this isn't something I can embarrassed about. I've spent hours practicing, and I know I enjoy it, and that I'm good.
"A few years."
Edward shakes his head with a small grin.
"You're amazing Bella."
I put the cake carefully in the fridge and then walk determinedly to Emmett who's laying on the floor of the music room sweaty and gross.
I stand over him my expression grim, I just spent who knows how long on that cake. I'm sticky, crusty with frosting, and damn it, it will not be in vain. Mama Esme deserves every bit of it.
"If you go anywhere near the kitchen, if I even hear that you looked in that direction I will end you Emmett Swan. Forget about sneaking a taste, approach the kitchen with the intent of a glass of a glass of water and I'll skin you."
Then I march away in search of a shower.
Jasper eyes are wide as I pass him.
"What?" he shakes his head with an amused laugh.
"You were so scary just now, as scary as Esme on Thanksgiving." surprise colors my features and then I laugh.
"So long as he stays away from the food."
After my shower us girls get ready. You see, while watching Captain America, Esme remarked that those little dance halls look so fun and romantic. So we created one. Rose hung streamers and darkened the music room, setting up little tables to rest at. Alice bought and sewed a few vintage costumes for everyone. Edward selected some good records to play on the record player, and even learned a few good songs to play for the vibe of it. And we all learned a little swing number just for Mama Esme.
The things I do for her.
Our boys all look like soldier, navy, or air force boys, and we girls have different polka dot swing dresses and cute little t-strap heels. We've done ourselves up with victory curls, winged eyeliner, and wicked red lipstick.
Here goes.
Cynthia and William show up first looking dapper.
"This place is the bees knees Cynthia enthuses taking in Roses retro dance hall.
Rose preens under the compliments and Alice is giddy with her Mom's compliments of the dresses she made for everyone.
As the parents arrive I man the record player finding some unearthly delight with setting the needle and listening to the soft popping before sweet music begins to play.
Edward takes my hand and pulls me into a dance spinning and dipping me so I squeal with laughter. That's how Esme finds us, she's wearing her green period dress, a long strand of pearls, and dainty gloves.
"Oh!" She says with such genuine surprise.
Carlisle beams and takes her hand pulling her onto the dancefloor. She's like a giggly school girl as she spins.
Edward and I go to the punch bowl to catch our breaths his eyes are bright and his grin is huge, natural, and slightly crooked. My very favorite grin.
"You're beautiful Bella, and this whole thing is amazing." It was a an idea that came to Alice, Rose and I while we were planning the whole things. The guys listened to Williams advice about women and said 'yes dear' to all of our ideas.
"It's was a group effort." I say with a shrug.
Alice catches my eye from across the dance floor, she mimes tapping a watch. My shoulders sag and butterflies erupt in my stomach with anxiety.
"Come on love I won't let you fall." Edward says taking my hand.
Jasper lifts the needle and Alice stands as tall as she can and clears her throat.
"Mama Esme. We put our heads together this year, and recalled you wanted a World War II era dance hall." Alice takes Jasper's hand and I step forward clutching Edwards.
"No dance hall would be complete without the hot shot couples throwing around some fancy moves." Cynthia gives a catcall.
Alice turns and gives a nod to William who sets the needle and a lively song begins to play.
The atmosphere really came together. Ed and Dale are puffing on cigars making the low light smokey. The bar cart Rose setup is being visited and ice tinkles against glass of their drinks as they talk and laugh.
There's a lot of lively stepping and kicking involved. The minute one foot slaps down, the other is already in the air, Edward keeps throwing me out, and I lean back, clutching his hand the other in the air with what appears carefree enthusiasm. In actuality I'm struggling to to keep from slipping.
It's as I'm leaning away, kicking around that I lose my balance and begin to slide backwards. My free hand flies out toward him and he grabs it, using my weight to allow me to slide through his open legs, it's a move we practice that technically doesn't come until later, but we make it work, with a firm grip on my hand Edward pulls me back through his open legs and throws me up in the air and over his shoulder. I throw my legs back and bring my weight down over his back, flipping backwards off his shoulder. Edward's shoulders strain as he ensures I don't throw my full weight down on my ankles, that's how I got hurt most of the time during our practices. We spin around and keep tapping and kicking, and then Edward lines me up. I spin out and he pulls me in with a great deal of force and I slide under his legs and a few feet across the floor where Emmett picks me up.
As I am his sister and Emmett is so strong it's a lot more ragdoll then dancing. He lifts me to grip his waist with my legs while he holds my waist and spins around. He throws me around his back and grabs my legs and swings me around. Jesus I feel bad for Rose, her entire routine with him is like this.
Thankfully, we switch again, this time while all of us girls are spinning, another steals our hand. Jasper grabs me this time, ours is much more sliding and tapping than anything. He slides me on the floor, while I lean on my side with my legs tucked and he stands and spins me by my hand. Then he lifts me and spins me out, and Edward takes my hand for the final sequence.
Rose is throwing out all her best moves, flips with ease while Emmett holds her steady.
Alice is sliding under Jasper's legs, flying over his shoulder, being spun out on the floor.
My hands go to Edward's shoulders and his grip my waist, he pulls me up and my legs go around his waist. Then he swings me out again and my legs come to rest on the left side of his body, once more I'm thrown out and my legs come out onto his right side.
For the final stance I end up with my legs around his waist while he leans me dangerously back toward the floor.
My heart is racing painfully and I'm gasping for breath and I have never been so sweaty in my life.
There's a roar of clapping and Edward sets me down, pulling me carefully into his side where I lean against him due to exhaustion. Esme steps forward with a huge grin.
"That was amazing! How long have you been planning this?" Rose, who is huffing and puffing from her acrobatics, answers for us.
"Since just before… Thanksgiving." I nod in agreement, legs shaking.
"Oh you dears, this has been the most amazing birthday! Who knew something I'd say so off-handedly would be brought to life like this!" I can't stop my huge grin and Esme comes around and gives us each a hug, even though we're sweaty.
"Nice save." I whisper up at Edward as we get some punch. He gives me a charming smile.
"I said I'd never let you fall." I can't do anything but kiss him in response.
After dancing our hearts out, we congregate to the dining room where we serve dinner. Edward keeps getting pink ears and cheeks as everyone compliments his cooking.
Then, it's time for the cake.
I opt to place one of the cute little chandelier candle holders because it's so classy and it really adds to the cake. In lieu of 47 candles, I place 7 little golden candles. The woman is in her 40's we'll let her see a small number of candles.
I light them and then carefully make my way toward the dining room.
Gasps ring out as I bring in the cake and Esme places a hand over her mouth delicately.
"Oh Bella!"
"Isabella Marie Swan. You've been holding out on us! Jesus girl that is some talent!" Lillian declares, I beam under her affections just happy I made Esme happy.
Pictures are taken with the lights low and the glow of the candles illuminating Esme beautifully.
Then we all sing, loudly, off key, merrily.
Esme blows out the candles with a long puff of air and we all clap and cheer.
We love our Mama Esme.
What did you think?