Chapter 11: Calling the Shots

Part 1

Sam pulled Cas from the ground and dragged him to the sink.

"Come on, barf" he commanded.

"Leave me alone" Cas mumbled faint, his eyes closed. Sam turned to Meg. "Go get his toothbrush" he ordered. Meg ran upstairs and came back half a minute later, with the toothbrush.

"Open your mouth, Cas" Sam said sharp and urgent. Cas pressed his lips together, stubborn like a two-year old.

"Let me try something" Meg said and Sam took a step back, still supporting Cas. Meg took Cas' face in her hands and kissed him. She then withdrew and drove the toothbrush in his throat. Cas gagged, coughed and tears came up in his eyes. He tried to free himself, but Sam tightened his grip and Meg drove the toothbrush further in his throat.

Cas gagged and brought his hand to his mouth. Sam let go of him and he puked in the sink.

"Why did you do that?" Cas said defeated, when he was done.

"Are you kidding?" Sam replied shocked. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Yes" Cas snapped. He looked from Sam to Meg and back. "You don't get it. You think I have some kind of illness, such as cancer, but that's not what it is. I am dying, I can feel it, and whatever it is that's killing me, it's dragging it out. I just want it to be over with"

Meg took a napkin and cleaned off Cas' mouth.

"I get that the pain is driving you to the point of insanity" she started. "but there's no way I'm letting you commit suicide. Not on my watch"

Part 2

The tablets were lying across a table and Kevin was studying them.

"Any luck?" Alexia asked, leaning against the table and looking at Kevin.

"Nope" Kevin replied frustrated. "I should be able to read this, but I can't. Something's wrong with my powers. My prophet powers, I mean. Not the angel ones"

"Yeah, I think that's the problem" Alexia commented. "You were chosen as a prophet. You were never supposed to be part angel. Your angel powers are screwing with your prophet powers"

Kevin sighed and put the tablet down. "Then what am I supposed to do? Give them up? Anna said the more powerful I am, the better" he said reluctant.

"You could give them back to uncle Cas" Alexia tried careful. "You don't really need them and he's going to die if he doesn't turn back into an angel soon. He's sick and no one knows what's wrong with him, but I know something inside him is torturing him and he's got two options to make it stop. He either dies or he becomes an angel once again"

Kevin squeezed his eyes and pierced his glance in Alexia's eyes.

"You didn't come up with that" he said slowly. "The angels have sent you. They want you to convince me to give back the angel juice to Cas, so he can be an angel again"

Alexia raised her eyebrows. "You make it sound like such a horrible thing. I'm trying to save his life"

"At what cost?" Kevin asked. "What's the catch?"

Alexia sighed. Why was he so clever? "If he becomes an angel again, he has to stay up in Heaven. He can never go back to the Earth"

"So, he gets to live, but he can't see his friends anymore or the girl he's in love with, who by the way has some very joyful news to tell him, which will make him want to stay here, is that it?" Kevin summed up disgusted.

"Yeah, but why do you even care?" Alexia exclaimed.

"Why don't you?" Kevin fired back. "You pretend like he matters to you, but you're about to take everything away from him"

"I want his suffering to end. And if that means pulling the plug out of his human life, then so be it. Castiel was never meant to be human, just like you were never meant to be an angel" Alexia reasoned passionately.

"Well, I got news for you, little girl" Kevin said demeaning, pointing out the fact that technically Alexia was only five years old. "I can't give up my powers, even if I wanted to, because technically they're not mine. Cas gave them to Crowley, they belong to him. Crowley has to take the powers from me and then he can give them to you. Though something tells me he's not going to do that"

He turned back to the tablets and began to study them again.

Part 3

Cas was lying on the bed, his head on Meg's lap. Anna was also in the room, after Sam had summoned her. There was only one thing left to do. Anna would have to read Cas to see if he was being possessed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Anna asked soft. Usually she wasn't so reluctant, but this wasn't just anyone. This was Cas, her brother. She didn't want to hurt him.

Cas nodded and Anna came closer to him. She placed her hand on his belly and looked at Meg. "Distract him" she said and she stuck her hand inside Cas' stomach.

Cas gasped and images of Zoey tearing his insides out flashed before his eyes. Meg took his hand and he clenched her fingers. It hurt, but Meg didn't pull away.

After a minute Anna withdrew her hand.

"He's not being possessed" she said.

"What? But that's impossible" Meg replied astonished.

"He's not being possessed, Meg" Anna repeated, almost apologizing. And without another word she left the room.

Part 4

Meg took Cas' scarred hands in hers and looked at them closely.

"Where did you leave the bandage?" she asked.

"Bathroom" Cas mumbled numb.

Meg let go of him and climbed off the bed. She left the room and headed to the bathroom. She opened the door and held her breath.

Cas pushed himself up and stumbled out of bed. He staggered to the window and opened it. He looked down and tried to figure out the best way to fall down. He had to be dead, not crippled.

Meg cleaned up the blood and collected the bandage, before she went back to Cas' room. She opened the door and dropped the bandage. Cas was sitting on the edge of the window.

"What are you doing?" Meg asked careful, trying not to scare him. "Get of off there"

Cas shook his head. "I have to die. The voice said I have to die" he explained cryptic.

"What voice? What are you talking about?" Meg asked confused as she slowly walked towards him.

"The voice in my head. You heard it, too. He said awful things to you, when I was in the hospital" Cas said trembling.

"No, Cas" Meg responded, getting a bit terrified. "That was you. Those words came out of your mouth. You said them, no one else"

"I thought you of all people would understand" Cas said defeated. He was about to jump, when Meg grabbed his arm and pulled him back inside. She quickly locked the windows and walked back to the door to collect the bandage. She winded them around Cas' hands, tying him up.

"What are you doing?" Cas mumbled careless.

"Maybe you're willing to give up, but I'm not. I will figure out what it is that's driving you nuts" Meg replied passionately. "Oh, and you know how they tell you to listen to the voice inside you?" Cas nodded. "Don't" Meg added and she tied Cas' hands onto the bed. "Stay here"

Since Cas was tied up, he had no other choice then to watch her go. He had no idea how long she'd be gone, so he'd have to move fast.

Part 5

Dean opened the door of the house, wondering if Jo was there, too, or if she had returned home.

"Sammy?" he called, assuming Cas would be asleep. He walked to the kitchen and saw Sam sitting with his head in his hands.

"What happened?" Dean asked sharp, already regretting the fact that he left.

"We asked Anna to read Cas, to see if he was being possessed" Sam started tired.

"We?" Dean asked, though he had an idea.

"Meg and I" Sam confirmed Dean's suspicion. "She's not here anymore" he added quick when he saw Dean's face change. "He's not being possessed. But that's not all. He swallowed the painkillers the doctor gave you. All of them. Meg- Dean, wait!"

When Sam had told him about the painkillers, he had turned around and ran upstairs to Cas' room. Cas was sitting on the ground, his hands tied to the bed.

"Dean" Cas said relieved. He pulled a hurt face and showed him his damaged hands. "Can you take these off. Meg did this"

"Why would she do that?" Dean asked, slightly surprised.

"I don't know. I guess you were right about her. I can't trust her" Cas replied. Dean hesitated. "Dean, please, my hands really hurt"

"I'm sorry" Dean said and he kneeled next to Cas. He took the bandage off and helped Cas stand up. Cas lifted his hand and punched Dean in the face.

"What the hell?" Dean exclaimed, but before he could recover himself, Cas tied his hands onto the bed. He searched his pockets and found the key of the Impala.

He left the room and raced downstairs. He opened the door and walked outside.

"Sam!" Dean yelled. "Sammy!"

Part 6

Heather and Isabel were sitting at the kitchen table, having a cup of coffee. Heather had insisted on wanting to know why exactly Isabel had been fired from the police department.

Isabel was about to reproach her cousin for her way of making money when the bell rang.

"I'll get it" Heather said fast, glad she wouldn't have to comment. She walked to the door and was slightly surprised to see Cas in the doorway.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure" Heather said and she stepped aside. She walked him to the kitchen. "Do you want some coffee?"

"No" Cas replied, looking straight at Isabel, who got a strange vibe.

"Eh, Heather, I have to go" she said slowly, getting up from her chair. She started walking when Cas saw something shiny from underneath her jacket. He raced to the drawer and pulled out a knife. He grabbed Heather's arm and pulled her to him.

"Inspector Roberts!" he shouted.

Isabel turned around and swallowed; Cas was holding the knife against Heather's throat.

"Give me your gun" he ordered shaking.

Isabel slowly conjured her weapon and gave it to Cas. He threw the knife in the sink and held the gun against Heather's head.

"Sit down" he ordered.

Heather sank down on her chair.

"You too" Cas snapped to Isabel, who did the same. He turned to Heather. "Where's your stuff?" he asked agitated.

"What?" Heather asked uncomprehending.

"The drugs you gave me. Where is it?" he snapped, waving with the gun.

"It's gone. I got rid of it" Heather answered scared.

"You're lying" Cas commented and he walked to Isabel. He aimed the gun at her. "Where is it?" he asked threatening.

"What do you want it for? Don't you remember what happened the last time? You're going to kill yourself" Heather tried to reason with him.

"It's my body!" Cas exclaimed defensive. "I can do with it whatever I want. Now, where is it?"

Heather, who had tears in her eyes, looked from Isabel to Cas. "It's in my bedroom"

Cas left the women alone and rushed to Heather's bedroom.

Part 7

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed when he saw Dean sitting on the floor, his hands tied. He kneeled and freed his older brother.

"I'm going to kill him!" Dean snapped.

"What happened?" Sam asked frowning.

"Cas has gone crazy. He attacked me. He's totally nuts" Dean explained furious. He tried to calm himself by taking a few deep breaths.

"Dean, we have to find him. He's not himself" Sam said sharp. "I'm going to start calling people"

"You're not calling that demon" Dean replied in a threatening way. Sam, who didn't know who else to call, put his phone away. "I'm going to call the cops and tell him someone stole the Impala. If they can track down the car, we might be able to find Cas"

"Yeah, alright" Sam nodded.

Cas was injecting himself with heroin, while Isabel and Heather were downstairs.

Isabel got up and conjured her phone.

"What are you doing?" Heather asked nervous.

"I'm calling the cops" Isabel responded determined.

"No!" Heather yelled. Then, softer: "If they know I keep drugs in my house, they'll put me in jail"

"You have a better idea, genius?" Isabel asked snarky.

"I know who we have to call" Heather nodded and she took her own phone, dialing Meg's number. "You're boyfriend's here" she said before Meg could say anything. "He has a gun and he's looking for drugs. I think he has a serious death wish, so unless you want to see him wither and die, I suggest you hurry the hell up"

Meg hung up and dialed Dean's number, hoping Dean wouldn't be so stubborn to ignore her. But of course he was. She cursed and dialed Sam's number.

"Meg?" Sam asked, Dean shooting him an irritated glance. "What?...And where does Heather live?...Okay, thanks"

He ended the conversation and looked at Dean. "Cas is at Heather's, looking for drugs. He has a gun and he's keeping Heather hostage"

"Okay, let's go" Dean replied and he ran downstairs, Sam following him. They walked outside and Dean walked to the first car they came across with. "Keep an eye on the street"

Sam obeyed and Dean forced the lock of the car. They got in the car and Dean pulled a few threads to get the car started. They drove away, when a man came out of his house, witnessing his car being stolen.

Part 8

Dean drove full speed ahead, crossing a few red lights. Cas was lying on the backseat, unconscious.

"Dean, slow down, you're getting us all killed" Sam said accenting his words. Dean chose to ignore him and parked the Impala in front of the hospital. He pulled the key out and stepped out. He opened the door to the backseat and dragged Cas out. With Sam's help he carried him inside the hospital. Since Dean was too much in shock, Sam explained to the doctor what happened.

About an hour later, the doctor came to them and they could tell from his expression that he didn't have good news.

"He's alive…for now" the doctor started. "But there's nothing we can do for him. He has taken an incredible amount of heroin, it's a miracle he's still alive. He's fighting, he's trying to hold on. If you want to say goodbye, I wouldn't wait much longer"

He walked the Winchesters to Cas' room. "Is there someone else I should inform?" he asked. Dean shook his head. The doctor left them alone and they walked to the bed.

"Hello, Dean. Sam" Cas mumbled hoarse. "I'm sorry for stealing your car…again"

"Ssshhh" Dean whispered.

Cas looked from Dean to Sam. "Are you guys alone? Where's Meg?"

Sam looked at Dean, who looked at Cas.

"She's busy" he answered vague.

"Can you ask her to come?" Cas begged, his voice softer than a whisper.

"No, Cas" Dean responded insensitive. "She's the reason you're here in the first place. She doesn't deserve to say goodbye"

Cas rotated his head to Sam, who stood up. "I have to go do something"

Part 9

Ten minutes later the door opened and Meg appeared in the doorway. Cas' heart jumped up, but Dean walked to the door and pushed Meg outside.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed.

"Sam called me. He said Cas wanted to see me before he died. Are you really going to deny him his last wish?" Meg asked in disbelief.

"It's for his own good" Dean said heartless and he grabbed Meg's arm, dragging her to the stairs, leading to the ground floor.

"For his own good? He's dying!" Meg exclaimed.

"And who's fault is that? You're the one that introduced him to Heather. You left that crack whore alone with him" Dean yelled accusatory.

"And you let him escape. I tied him up for his own safety. You let him go and ran off to that crack whore! You're just as guilty" Meg defended herself. She took a deep breath. "Look, it's not about what we want. It's about what Cas wants and he wants to see me. Just let me go in for five minutes. Then, I promise I'll disappear forever"

She tried to move past Dean, but he grabbed her arms again.

"Dean, let me through!" Meg screamed and she struggled to free herself. She tried to hit him in the face. "Let go of me!"

Dean could barely keep a hold of her and his grip loosened.

For a second Meg stared him scared in the eye. Dean tried to grab her hand, but she fell down the stairs.

Dean stared upset at Meg, who groaned and held her stomach. He wanted to go to her, when Anna appeared next to her.

She turned to Dean. "Go back to Cas, Dean" she commanded, before she helped Meg stand up. She supported Meg, looking for a doctor, leaving a trail of blood.

Part 10

Anna opened the door of Cas' room and let Meg in. She was wearing a hospital shirt and her eyes were red and swollen. Anna signed at Dean and he followed her outside.

"Has Meg told you about her condition?" she asked careful. Dean frowned and shook his head. "She was pregnant"

"Pregnant?" Dean repeated as if he'd never heard of the word.

"Was" Anna said. "She just had a miscarriage"

"Did I kill Cas' unborn child?" Dean asked, shocked by the fact that Meg could get pregnant.

"Yeah, looks like it" Anna replied merciless. She gave Dean one last reproaching look, before she vanished.

Dean entered the room and tried to avoid looking at Meg. He stayed by the door, giving Meg and Cas some space.

Cas looked at Meg as if he was seeing an angel. He lifted his hand and lay it on her cheek, catching her tears.

"I love you" he whispered. His hand glided off her cheek and he closed his eyes.

"Cas?" Meg asked faint. He didn't respond. "Cas! Cas, wake up!" Meg screamed, shaking Cas. Sam walked to her and pulled her away from the bed.

"He's dead" he said sharp.

Meg shook her head. "No. He's not dead" she sobbed.

Dean was still standing by the door, too upset by Cas' death and too stunned by Meg's emotional reaction, to react himself.

Then, suddenly, Cas sat up.

"What?" Dean said soft. Meg and Sam looked up.

Cas swung his legs off the bed and walked towards the door.

"Cas?" Meg asked uncertain.

Cas turned around.

"I'm not Cas" he said sinister. "I'm Jimmy. I'm calling the shots now"