Heading For Disaster Chapter 11
Obvious FYI: I don't own anything that even remotely has to do with the O.C.!
--Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it!
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The week at Fisher without recreation or his cell phone was one of the longest weeks of Ryan's life. The good thing that came out of the punishment, however, was Ryan's time for physical improvement. The Tuesday after the party, an orthopedist came in during Ryan's morning PT session and measured him for leg braces. Ryan was getting stronger and soon Bruce and Kathy were going to try and put him on the parallel bars.
The biggest orthopedic problem that Ryan was suffering from as of late was the little movement in his ankles. He was able to wiggle his toes, as that was the first place he had sensation in at HOAG, and with difficulty, he could contract his calves, but he had very little range in ankle mobility. This was very frustrating to Ryan, especially after the seemingly endless exercises to improve his flexion. Therefore, if he was to walk, he would need braces to keep his feet straight and upright and not flop on the floor. Ryan's knees also tended to knock when he got tired and the braces would help this as well.
Another highlight for Ryan was the elimination of the seatbelt on his wheelchair. His core stability was improving greatly and he had been working hard to adapt his arm and upper back strength to aid in his posture.
However, along with his successes came setbacks. PT and OT sessions were painful and exhausting for Ryan. Especially during his "punishment week" where he had no outlet, Ryan would lay in bed frustrated and listen to his iPod, occasionally with tears in his eyes. Patients with an injury at or higher than Ryan's were prone to heart complications, and much to his annoyance and occasional embarrassment, Ryan would experience shortness of breath during PT and his heart rate and blood pressure would have to be taken. Although this rarely happened, it would make Ryan lose his focus and the therapy session would have little effect.
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Saturday afternoon, Jackson came in his room to find Ryan laying on top of the sheets again.
"Hey, Ry, man what's going on?" Jackson asked seriously. "You've been kinda depressed lately."
"I'm fine," Ryan answered, still not looking at his roommate.
"Ryan. You're far from fine. I've known you long enough. What's up?"
Ryan sighed, but still didn't look at his roommate.
"Jackson, when I say this, I want you to know that I get how lucky I am to be able to walk some day, ok? I'm really grateful. You know that, right?" Ryan didn't want to make Jackson angry.
"Yah, man. We all know that. Go on," Jackson prompted.
"I hate being here. It's not you or the guys, it's the whole thing. There were three of us going for that head ball and I'm the one waking up fucking paralyzed. I know I'm making progress, but I can't move my ankles, and if I can't move my fucking ankles, I can't walk. I have to get leg braces. I'm behind at school, I can't see my friends from Newport, I don't even know if my friends from Chino know about this, my mom is probably arrested by now, and Marissa…well, you know. Where am I supposed to put that? I can't tell Nina because she'll go all psychiatrist on me and I'm not telling Seth. I didn't want to burden you with anything. It sucks to have potential when you can't get there!" Ryan had tears in his eyes for what felt like the millionth time that month.
Jackson was quiet for a minute. "Look, man. When you get the braces, you'll be able to walk. And who's going to make fun of you here, we're all cripples. Caleb still wears his back brace. No one makes fun of him…any more. You'll feel better when you can walk." Jackson looked at Ryan and saw him nod.
"How can you be so positive, Jackson? You're always telling me it'll be ok. Don't you ever want to throw it in?" Ryan didn't care how unmanly he felt now. He could always talk to Jackson.
"I never told you this, but I cry every time I'm with Nina. It took me a while to get where I am now. I was bad before I came to Fisher. I keep it together out here because nothing good will come of me breaking down to you. I'm just glad I was wearing a helmet…" Ryan and Jackson seldom talked about Jackson's accident. He was car surfing with his friends one night when his skateboard broke. Jackson fell on his back and severed his spinal cord at T9/T10. His best friend Shaye was driving the car at the time, and the police had no choice but to charge Shaye with 'driving to endanger.' It was a huge uproar in the small town. Jackson's mother even spoke on Shaye's behalf twice in court, but the teen ended up doing one month jail time and was ordered by the judge to make a presentation on spinal cord injuries. Shaye would never stop feeling overwhelmingly guilty about that day.
Ryan nodded, closing his eyes. Why was everything so messed up? There was a long pause before Jackson spoke.
"As for your Chino posse," Jackson was smiling again. "Why don't you ask Seth to call them? I'm sure Sandy has Trey's number. Maybe he already called him. Maybe you have a voicemail on the phone that you don't have because you didn't pick up when I called you at the party last week." Jackson joked. He mentioned the busted plan as often as he could.
Ryan laughed, his eyes still closed. He felt lucky to have Jackson as his roommate.
"As for Marissa," Jackson began slowly. Ryan opened one eye to look at him. "It's been, what, four weeks since the accident?" Jackson continued after seeing Ryan's confirmation nod. "Seth told me that she's planning to surprise you on Saturday. Sorry, had to tell you. Just talk to her, hear her out again. You don't have to totally forgive her, I know what she did and I'd be rip shit if she did that to me, but just hear her out. It's nice to have her care, Ryan. But girls are psycho, you know that. I don't have to drive you crazy with my stories about Wild Wendy again, but at least know that you're not alone. At least Marissa still tries. You know that the guys I was with that night stopped talking to me and even Lee, too? It's hard for them to have a friend who's a para I guess. But Marissa's still there, Ryan. Keep that in mind." Jackson paused.
Ryan was staring at the ceiling. It was true that Ryan's friends still cared for him despite his handicap. Many of Jackson's friends grew apart which Jackson seemed to be dealing with. Ryan would get through it with Jackson's help. He'd be ok.
"I've got OT now, but I'll be back later. You'll be ok, man. Just look at that board Summer made for you. You've got friends, bro and you've got me, ok? Obviously I'm not going anywhere faster than 5 miles an hour. See ya, Forest Gump." Jackson wheeled out of the room. It took Ryan a little while to process the comment. Oh ya, leg braces tomorrow.
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Ryan went down to PT at 9 the next morning and met the orthopedist who was waiting for him with the braces. Ryan was mortified when he saw what he had to wear. The braces encased his feet and were hard, white plastic all the way around his heals and calves. At his knees, the plastic met black metal and cloth which velcroed below and above as well as on the outside and inside of his knee caps. The braces continued up with hard metal until his hips where they velcroed once again. His whole leg was covered. His ankle was stuck in a flexed position and his knees were allowed a small range of extension. They braces were heavy and ugly, but they would make him walk.
After nearly 45 minutes of adjusting the braces, Bruce and Kathy were ready to try Ryan on the parallel bars. Ryan wheeled himself over and let the therapists position themselves. Kathy was to hold onto Ryan's safety belt again and support him from behind. Bruce was literally going to pick up Ryan's feet one at a time and help him make his way down the bars. Kim was going to follow with the wheelchair which fit between the bars. The goal was four steps.
After everyone was in place and Ryan was thoroughly versed on the instructions and Bruce's 'rules' of falling and pain, Ryan was ready to begin. Unbeknownst to Ryan, Jackson had gathered all the guys to watch. Jackson had the camera Kirsten gave him for this exact moment.
"Ok, Ryan. You've got this. Starting slow. Slide to the front of the wheelchair first. Good. Hands on the arm rests, that's right." Bruce coached him through. Ryan could feel Kathy on his right side, holding the belt already. "Ok, on your go, push up." Ryan pushed himself into a standing position and grabbed the bars. Bruce let go his initial hold on Ryan's legs and let the boy stand alone.
Ryan was nervous. He began to sweat and could feel his arms beginning to shake. He tried to will them to stop as he concentrated on the next move.
"Here we go, Ryan. I'm going to pick up your right foot first. Ready?"
"Just go." Ryan said, staring straight ahead as Bruce instructed.
Bruce picked up Ryan's right foot, then set it down and repeated the movement with the left. Ryan moved his hands accordingly. "You doing ok?" He asked before continuing. Ryan nodded. Bruce continued until they reached the goal of the four steps. By that time, Ryan's arms were ready to give out and he exhaustedly allowed Bruce and Kathy to lower him into the chair.
Everyone cheered. Jackson came up to Ryan and hi-fived him. Ryan felt even better than he had when he first stood up. Even though his legs weren't moving under his control, it felt so good to be ambulatory.
The group went up only once more because Ryan's arms began to shake and his legs were painful. Although he was ecstatic to walk again, he was maybe even more angry at the difficulty and frustration it manifested. Kathy assured him that he was doing great and that progress will come with time. Ryan was sick of that phrase. How many times had he heard it? He was beginning to believe it was a lie.
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Ryan was too tired to go to lunch and he decided to take a nap instead of accompany an understanding Jackson to the cafeteria. Ryan couldn't get comfortable in the bed. Everything hurt. His ankles were on fire and his back was more sore than usual and began to twitch. What bothered Ryan the most was his head. It was throbbing and he couldn't wait to take his medication in a few hours. Finally he fell into a restless sleep.
After lunch, Jackson returned to the room to find his roommate asleep. Jackson decided to follow suit and got into his own bed not to be awaken a few minutes later to harsh breathing.
"Ryan?" Jackson leaned over to get a better view of his roommate. Ryan was sweating and his eyes were shut and contorted with pain and his respirations were fast. "Hold on, man!" Jackson pushed the nurses' call button.
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Sorry for the cliffhanger…the story is almost done…thanks for reading so much!