We go to the buffet across the street from the precinct, because I know Olivia needs to go back to work after. They're working a missing child's case, and she shouldn't even technically be taking an hour to have dinner with me, but when I tell her this, she just waves a dismissive hand. "So I'll sleep an hour less. Whatever." You're more important, she doesn't say, but I read the words in her eyes, and they make me glow inside.

She pulls out a chair for me, just like she did the first time. When I look at her, a bit curiously, she says in that soft, sweet voice of hers, "Here you go, princess," and smiles.

I stare at her for a moment, unsure what to make of this. "You called me 'princess.'"

"You are a princess," she says, tousling my hair affectionately. "My princess. I will always treat you like one."

I smile back as I lower myself into my seat, because I know she will. "Then you're my white knight."

But my smile fades when I realize how true this statement is. Except the only person I need protection from now is myself, or to be more accurate, the monster that lives inside my head, that tells me every single moment what I'm doing wrong. Maybe Olivia can countervail that monster, since she seems intent on telling me every single moment what I'm doing right. She says how beautiful I am, how brave I am, how much she admires me, how much she loves me. I just wish I could believe her. Maybe if she keeps saying those things, I'll start to.

She reaches across the table and takes my hand. "It's okay, Alex," she says quietly, holding my gaze steady. We stay like that for a moment, and then she clears her throat. "Ready to go get some food?"

When we're done eating (and Olivia insists on paying half the bill, regardless of what she said before), she offers to give me a ride home. I want to take her up on it, but instead I shake my head. "The guys are going to be wondering where you are. Cragen's never going to let you come out with me again!"

She shrugs. "Who says I'd listen to him?"

I smile in spite of myself. "It's okay, Liv. It's half an hour out of your way. I'll call a cab."

"Are you sure?"

No, but when I'm with her, I never am. I nod anyway. "I'll see you tomorrow, Liv."

She gives me a smile. "You will."

When I get home, I walk around the apartment turning on all the lights, although I'm well aware that I'm wasting electricity. Suddenly, my home feels so lonely, so empty. I wish Olivia was here with me.

I curl up on the couch and wrap a blanket around my shoulders. I close my eyes and for just a moment, I pretend that it's her arms around me, holding me close, keeping me safe. "I love you," she would tell me. "No matter how far you run, I will always love you, princess."

I smile at the thought and pull the blanket more tightly around me, continuing to entertain the notion that it's not a blanket around me, but Olivia's arms, that I'm safe and warm in her embrace. "I love you, too," I would say back to her, because it's true, even if the words stick in my throat whenever I try to say them.

I can't help myself. As if on their own accord, my hands are reaching for my cell phone and dialling Olivia's cell phone. "Benson," says a crisp voice, and I have to smile.

I pause for a moment, second guessing my motivation for calling her to begin with. I just want to hear her voice, really. I don't have anything pressing to say. I don't have anything at all to say.

"Benson," she says again, and I bite my lip.

"Liv, it's me."

"Oh, hi, Alex. What's up?"

I can't say that I just want to hear her voice – that would just be the cheesiest thing in the universe. "Sorry, you're probably busy. I'll see you tomorrow."

"No, it's okay." She hesitates. "I was just thinking about you, actually."

I smile. "What were you thinking?"

"That I miss you."

My heart melts. That's just about the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me, and it sounds so genuine. God, I love Olivia. All it takes is a word from her to lift my spirits. "I miss you, too, Liv."

I can hear the smile in her voice when she says, "It's only been an hour."

"I know."

"What are you doing right now?"

A million different answers pop into my head, but instead I tell her the truth. "Thinking about you, too."

"What were you thinking?"

I tell her the truth again. There's something in her that brings the truth out in people – it's why she's so good at her job. "That I wish you were here with me."

I can tell she's smiling again. "I am there with you, Alex. You're never far from my mind."

A warm feeling bubbles up inside me, and I'm grinning too hard to say a word. I'm afraid that I'll tear up if I do.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Alex," Olivia says.

"Yeah." I swallow hard. "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you," I say quickly, before I chicken out, and hold my breath.

There's a long pause, and I wonder if I've said the wrong thing, or if Olivia's still there. But then she speaks, and I can hear the crack in her voice. "Oh, Alex. I love you, too." She's said the words enough times already, but they still sound fresh and beautiful; music to my ears.

I hang up the phone with the biggest smile on my face. Tonight, I'll be able to sleep, knowing that there's someone out there who loves me still.

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