Rachel hummed along as she watched Noah strum his guitar. This song had always held special meaning for the two of them. She would never forget the day they performed it in Glee. It had started as a means to make Finn jealous, but as they sang the lyrics together Rachel had realised how poignant and true they were. Noah had always been there for her. He had never asked for anything in return. Despite his rejection after their breakup, he had always been her friend. Often at great cost to his own happiness.

If only her head and heart hadn't been so full of Finn.

Rachel often found herself embarrassed when she thought back on their time at McKinley. She had been obsessed, single-minded in her pursuit of Finn that she never really thought about how happy he made her. Never thought about how unhappy they made those around them. She had savagely broken up happy couples and pursued Finn when he was not single. And Finn had been guilty of the same.

She had loved Finn. Of course, she had. He was kind and funny and hers. At least when he wasn't someone else's. He was often someone else's.

She knew that the two of them wouldn't have ended up together. Time and space apart had taught her that much. But she had loved him. And for at least a little while, he'd loved her too. Knowing that did nothing to ease the pain of his death. He had died so young, before he'd had the chance to fulfill his potential. He'd died before he'd even had a chance to really live.

As she looked over at the man playing through their song list, she wondered if things would have, should have, ended up differently if only she'd paid a little more attention in high school. Time and space had also given her insight into why he had followed her every whim when they were young. Noah had loved her, in ways that Finn was simply to young to. It wasn't until she was in New York and Noah was no longer a part of her every day that she realised just how much she'd depended on him. It didn't take long after that realisation and analyzing their every interaction that she realised how he'd felt.

She liked to think that had she known how he felt during school, she would have been more careful with him. Gentler with his heart. He might have seemed strong and unbreakable, but he hadn't been. And she knew how many times she'd been careless, too busy chasing after Finn to see him for the casualty he'd become. Their friendship had fallen by the wayside because it made Finn uncomfortable. She had walked away from Noah when he had needed her most. Where had she been while he was mourning his fatherhood? Where had she been the night he could take no more and landed in juvenile hall? Why had she not offered to help him when his graduation was on the line? Or when his father came back into his life just long enough to muddy up Noah's future.

She was so proud of the man he'd grown into. She couldn't help, however, feeling sad that she had missed the last parts of his journey. She hadn't spoken with him in the long months that followed her arrival in New York. Nor had she spent any time with him at Will's botched wedding. She'd been too busy vacillating between Brody and Finn to notice her friend hovering on the sidelines.

He had always been on the sidelines.

And now he was with Quinn. And he was desperately unhappy. She had spent some time in quiet contemplation, watching the two of them interact before the wedding planning started. She had seen the always-present resentment in Quinn's eyes. She had watched as Noah's hazel eyes dulled as he withdrew from his girlfriend.

She ached for them. Their relationship had risen from the ashes of Finn's death. But unlike the Phoenix, they continued to crash and burn. She wondered sometimes why they hadn't walked away. Why would they willingly stay with someone that hurt them?

Rachel sighed. She was hardly one to talk. She and Sam had a very amiable relationship. He had never raised his voice with her or uttered an unkind word. He was handsome and he made her laugh.

Sometimes he reminded her of Finn a little. Just little things, like how earnest he was when he wanted something. How he thought that singing was a cure for all that ailed. How he was addicted to grilled cheese.

Rachel could admit, if only to herself, that those similarities had drawn her to Sam. But she had stayed with him because he was unerringly kind. She stayed because he loved to hear her laugh.

But Sam didn't love her. And she didn't love him. They were together because they were lonely and because they needed to hold onto something familiar.

She sat down at the piano and Noah put down his guitar and joined her on the bench. She watched his talented fingers plays a melody that was unfamiliar to her.

"This is lovely, Noah. You always were so talented at writing your own music." She complimented him, and he looked startled as he met her gaze. His eyes searched hers and she nodded with a smile.

Noah turned back to his music. "I didn't think you knew."

Rachel nudged him fondly with her shoulder. "I suspected. Finn was many things but a gifted songwriter was not one of them."

Noah cleared his throat. "When did you figure it out for real?"

Rachel hummed softly to the melody as she thought over her answer. "Around the time that I realised how hurtful I had been towards you during high school."

Noah stilled for a split second before he continued playing. He slipped seamlessly into 'Sweet Caroline' though Rachel suspected it was an unconscious decision.

He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "We were kids, Berry."

Rachel nibbled on her bottom lip as she considered dropping the line of thought. But his shoulders had a tense set to them. Maybe it was time to clear the air.

"That doesn't excuse my actions." She steeled her resolve before continuing. "I didn't see how you felt for me." He hit a discordant note and ceased playing. His jaw clenched as he tried to meet her gaze.

"Thought it was pretty obvious." He replied, eyes on her forehead.

Rachel shot him a sad smile. "Perhaps it was. But I was too busy to notice. I'm sorry, Noah."

He met her eyes briefly, just long enough for her to see the sadness in them. "Nothing to be sorry about. I wanted you and you wanted Finn. That was the story of my life."

Rachel studied the side of his face, his gaze on the piano keys.

"That doesn't make it better. If I had been less selfish and paid more attention to those around me," She sighed. "I'd like to think I would have done things differently."

Noah's lips lifted in a sarcastic smile. "You were Finn's girl. I knew that then and I know it now."

Rachel's eyebrows furrowed. "Noah." She waited several long moments until he met her eyes, though he appeared to struggle holding it. "Finn may have been my high school boyfriend. I loved him very much. And I know that it took a long while for me to figure it out, but I stopped being his 'girl' the moment he put me on that train."

Noah searched her face. "Because he died?"

Tears stung her eyes. "No, Noah." He reached out and brushed away a tear that had fallen. "Because Finn was Lima and I was New York. I know I'm back here right now, but it's not where I'm meant to be. I will always miss him, but he wasn't the one for me."

Noah blinked away his surprise and turned back to his playing. "Okay."

Rachel nodded definitively next to him. "Okay."