Author's Note: Okay, so when I wrote this chapter I had to serioulsy debate with myself to even use it. I would love to write a story where there is nothing but sunshine and rainbows, especially when it comes to Michael Jackson, but the truth is when I think of Michael Jackson, I think of somebody who spent his whole life trying to heal people from whatever it is that was hurting them. I ran this story by a friend of mine, and after she was done crying she begged me to re-write it, telling me that something like this would never have happened at Neverland, which is true, but then again this is fiction so I decided to keep it. I will apologize now if this hurts anyone when they read it, but bare with me, I promise you its serves a purpose. Onto Chapter Eleven. Xoxo-Amber-Marie
Chapter 11:Innocence Dies
"Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life."-John Muir
I stand in the backyard of Neverland, watching and guiding people as they decorate. The 'Kick Off To Break Off' would be starting in just a few hours. I smile as I walk between people, helping the workers set up the moon bounce. I rolled my eyes when Michael told me the party would be formal attire required, and yet he requested a moon bounce.
'Why is it such a crazy idea Daniella? Who doesn't like getting dressed up and jumping in a moon bounce? Combine the two, and you have a winning combination,' Michael's voice echoes in my head, and I laugh at the memory. Sure his taste in things were a little on the eccentric side to most, but to me it was endearing proof of the underlying innocence in him.
" Dani, girl what are you doing, we have to go, now," someone yells to me, and I look up smiling pushing the hair out of my face, when I see Janet staring at me from across the yard, one hand on her hip her foot tapping impatiently. I walk towards her, my notebook pressed to my chest.
" Hey Janet, where, exactly are we supposed to be going?" I ask, and for an answer she grabs my arms dragging me into the house. We pass by Michael and his brothers, who are in the middle of some sort of friendly argument.
" Where are you ladies off too?" Michael asks, smiling at us when Janet stops long enough for me to catch a breath.
" To get ready. Jermaine, Jackie, please can you just take this notebook from Dani," Janet says, yanking the notebook from my hands, "and make sure that whatever else needs to be done, gets done. We have work to do," Janet says, slapping my notebook against her brother's chest. " Thanks."
" Have fun Dani," the group calls out to me, and I shoot them a pleading look as Janet unmercifully drags me through the house. It isn't until she thrusts me head long into a room, closing and locking the door behind us that I have the chance to ask her what is going on.
" Janet, what are you doing? I have a job to do, if this party doesn't go just right it could cost me my job, I hardly have time," I say, but she cuts me off with her quick laughter.
" Please Dani, Michael wouldn't get rid of you if his life depended on it. Besides, I am under strict orders from my dear big brother to do this. It's time to get ready," she says thrusting a robe at me. I stare at her inquisitively.
" Janet, the party doesn't start for another," I pause looking at the watch on my wrist, "two hours, what am I possibly going to do that is going to take me two hours?" I ask, feeling slightly annoyed that I was pulled from my work. I wanted to see this project through, I didn't have time to stop now.
" The works. But to start with, your going to go into that bathroom and take a bath. You can use a good soak, and when your done we'll get started," she says, thrusting a red silk robe into my hands, pushing me towards the bathroom. In the few days I have been at Neverland, I have discovered something about Michael's baby sister. You don't argue with her, when she wants you to do something, your going to do it, one way or another, might as well make it as easy and relatively painless on yourself as you can. I shut the bathroom door behind me, sighing when I look at myself in the mirror.
" Oh hell, she was right, I could use a bath," I say, rolling my eyes when Janet yells through the door.
" I told you so," she yells in a song-song voice, and I laugh starting the water.
An hour later, I study myself in the mirror. My make up was done expertly. My green eyes standing out brightly, my lips shining. Janet refuses to let me see the dress I'm wearing, insisting that I wont truly appreciate it until I see the complete package. My hair is curled swept to the side being held in place with heavy hair combs. I smile at myself, agreeing completely with Michael, it is fun to dress up.
" Okay girly, off with the robe," Janet says, and I blush deeply. I slide my robe off, standing before her in nothing but a simple purple colored strapless bra, and a thin, silky thong. " All right. Close your eyes." I follow her instructions, using her shoulder to brace myself when she tells me to step into the dress. The material feels wonderful on my skin, and I listen as she pulls the zipper up the back of the dress. I open my eyes slowly, taking in Janet's expression.
" What?" I ask, alarmed when she stands speechless in front of me.
" Turn around," she says simply, and I do, working my eyes up from my feet to my face. I stare at myself in disbelief. I have never felt beautiful before, but that's how I feel now. I touch a hand to my face as if trying to convince myself that its really me I'm seeing.
" Wow," I whisper out, feeling somewhat out of sorts.
" Stunning. The dress is perfect," she murmurs, and I stare at it, taking in every detail of the plum colored halter topped dress. It crisscrosses at my throat and I turn the side taking peering over my shoulder.
" Janet, thank you," I say turning to look back at her. " I feel, like I'm going to my first prom or something."
" You don't have to thank me silly, but if your really feeling thankful you can help me into my dress," she says, and I happily oblige, it's the least I can do. Twenty minutes later a knock on the door pulls me and Janet from our conversation. I pull open the door smiling as I kneel down looking down at Carly-Ann.
" Wow Mama, you look like a princess," Carly-Ann says, smiling as she hugs me.
" So do you baby," I say, kissing her cheek. I smile at her little puffy gown and sparkling ruby red dress shoes.
" Oh, I was told to come and get you, the guests are here," she says, and I straighten myself, taking a deep breath.
" Well baby girl, lets go," I say, taking her hand as Janet threads her arm through mine, the only sound in the hallway is the echo of our high heels clicking around us.
I step onto the back patio, staring in disbelief at how beautifully everything turned out. Tents are set up through out the massive yard, and hundreds of people mill around, talking and murmuring amongst themselves. It's something out of every girls fairy tale. I look up at the sky, praying that the rain stays away long enough for the party to be fully enjoyed
" Mikey," Carly-Ann yells, releasing my hand to run to him. I follow her movements, my eyes landing on him as he lifts her up, twirling her around. I smile, breathless at his appearance. His long curly hair pulled back into a low ponytail, his head covered by a black fedora. His lean body covered with a black tuxedo, with his signature gloved hand setting off sparks of light when he moves. I watch as my daughter leans close to his ear, whispering something to him. He looks up, his head turning in my direction, and something passes between us when his eyes fall on me. I start making my way towards him, but the sound of a familiar and long missed voice calls to me.
" Dani?," someone calls, their voice apprehensive as if they arent sure that it's really me, and I turn in the direction of the voice smiling as my eyes mist over at the sight of one of my brothers.
" Brandon," I say on a short breath, I rush through the crowd, all but leaping into my brothers arms, letting him pick me up and twirl me around.
" Look at you, beautiful little sister," Brandon says, holding me at arms length, his eyes scanning over me causing me to blush slightly.
" Where's Kyle, Momma?" I ask, looking around for them. He turns me to the crowd where Kyle and Mom stand, talking to a group of people. My eyes light up when my Mother looks towards me, her eyes smiling. I take Brandon's hand in mine, walking slowly, almost cautiously as we make our way towards them.
" Kyle," I murmur, hugging him close, tears threatening to ruin my make-up. " Momma," I say, finally turning to look at my mom. She looks beautiful, young, almost. She hugs me tightly, and I smile.
" I missed you dear heart," she murmurs into my ear, and I pull away blinking my tears away.
" I missed you too, but your granddaughter missed you even more," I say, wrapping an arm around my Mother's slim waist.
" Where is she?" Mom asks, and I point through the crowd, to where Michael is still holding Carly-Ann laughing wildly at something that is being said between him, Carly-Ann and one of his brothers.
" Grandma," Carly-Ann yells, squirming out of Michaels hold, racing gracefully considering her dress , through the crowd, hugging my mother fiercely.
" Oh my sweet girl. Let me look at you," Mom says, kneeling down to look at Carly-Ann as she twirls in her pretty dress.
" Grandma come on, I want to introduce you to Mikey, come on," Carly-Ann says, pulling my mother's hand, surprisingly strong for such a small child. I take a deep breath, my brothers sensing I need any and all confidence I can get, come to my sides wrapping their arms around me as I walk with them towards Michael. What's the worst that can happen?
" Mom, Brandon, Kyle, this is Michael," I say, watching as he shakes my older brothers' hands, and then he turns, hugging my mother sweetly.
" Mrs. James it's so nice to finally meet you. You raised the sweetest, most wonderful daughter in the world," Michael says, his words causing butterflies to erupt in my stomach.
" Thank You Mr. Jackson," Mom says, smiling broadly, a glow on her face I haven't seen in years.
" Please call me Michael," he says, and I smile feeling at ease when I see that everyone is getting along.
" If you will excuse me, I have to check and make sure that the caterers have everything right, I will be back. Mom, Brandon, Kyle, please make yourselves at home, it's a party, have some fun," I say, quickly pressing a soft kiss to Mom's cheek before breaking away to do my job. I smile, taking the time to stop and talk to people when they say hello. I enter the kitchen slowly, my feet already aching from the stiletto shoes I'm wearing.
" Miss. James," the head caterer calls my name " We have a small problem. The desserts for this party were accidentally sent to another party across town." I smile as I walk towards him, no problem is too big for me, nothing I cant fix, someway. This may be a night fit for fairy tales, but reality comes first.
Forty-Five minutes and one small disaster later I make my way out of the kitchen. Helping divert the small catastrophe that would have been on our hands made me feel good, accomplished. I smile when I step into the backyard, noticing that a good number of the guests were making good use of the dance floor and live band. I grin wildly when I notice that even my Mother is in on the festivities letting herself be led across the floor by Brandon.
" Your mother is a wonderful woman Dani," someone whispers in my ear, and I smile knowing the all too familiar silky voice. I turn and see Michael, his eyes glowing.
" Thank you. I have to say, she has been, pleasantly sweet tonight," I say, crossing my arms across my chest when the music changes. Slowing down, I smile dreamily when I look back to the dance floor, people dancing closely with their partners.
" Dance with me Daniella," Michael says, extending a hand to me. I blush deeply, feeling slightly apprehensive as I let him lead me to the dance floor. He wraps one arm around my waist, pulling me close to him, and I lay my head on his chest, smiling. You know in Cinderella, when Prince Charming and Cinderella dance, and everyone around them are so mesmerized by the beauty of the couple they stop and stare? But Prince Charming and Cinderella don't even notice because they are so lost in each other that anything and everything around them just simply fell away? That's what its like, in this moment. I can't see or hear anything but Michael. The feel of his hand on my back, the sound of his heart as it beats steadily beneath my ear. I close my eyes on a wistful sigh, content to spend the rest of my life just like this. As quickly as my fairy tale comes, its shattered by the sudden murmurs and gasp of the people around us. I lift my head from Michael's chest, noting that his eyes are frozen on one spot. I follow his gaze, and realize who it was that shattered my magical moment. She is a vision, in a gold gown that flows to the ground. Silhouetted by the candle light that flickers lightly in the breeze.
" Lisa Marie," Michael murmurs, his hands falling off my body. I watch, feeling as if I had been slapped in the face when Michael leaves me behind without so much of word, to make his way to the beautiful newcomer. Sure there had been speculation that the growing friendship between Lisa Marie and The King Of Pop had romantic undertones, but that was months before I started working for him. Speculation turned into full blown confirmation in my mind, as I stood under the stars, candle light flickering around me, watching as Michael hugs Lisa close to him, pressing a shy kiss to her cheek. I feel my breaths hitching, my eyes scanning the crowd mercilessly for a friendly face, for anybody who could see my pain. My eyes stop, shimmering as tears threaten to spill over, on Siedah, her own eyes wide with shock. I stand still, afraid that the minute I try to move I will shatter from the inside out.
" Dani come on," Siedah says, wrapping a strong arm around my waist, leading me away from my broken fairy tale.
" Dani," Siedah calls my name, like she has been for the last I don't know how long. I lift my flooding eyes to her, a shaky smile on my lips.
" I'm glad I never told him that I loved him," I say, my voice wavering with each word. " It would have felt so much worse if I would have told him." I turn away, staring through the window of the sitting room my eyes unseeing as the rain begins to fall.
Michael's POV
The party moved inside once the rain started falling, and I stood watching all of my friends and acquaintances mingling, when someone suddenly threads their arms through mine, tugging me away from the noise.
" Walk with me Mike," Lisa says, and I smile looking down at my long time friend. She's beautiful, no doubt about it, but she is like a sister to me.
" Maybe I don't want to walk, maybe I want to fly," I joke, leading her to another room.
" Always the joker. So tell me Mike, where is the girl that had you calling me at all hours while you were on tour. I'm curious to see who it is that finally caught the heart of my best friend," Lisa says, her eyes dancing with humor and curiosity.
" I was wondering the same thing. She and I were dancing right before you showed up. I actually left her on the dance floor," I muse, laughing suddenly when Lisa smacks my arm.
" You idiot. You don't just leave a girl on the dance floor to go hug another woman, even if the other woman is as fabulous as me," she jokes, and I realize something quickly. I hadn't seen Dani at all after our dance was cut short by the sudden appearance of my friend. I slap a hand to my forehead, groaning. I'm used to being the one that's chased and pursued, not the other way around.
" I've never seen you like this Mike. It's the real deal isn't it?" she asks, her eyes glowing, mixed with fascination and worry.
" Yeah, it is. I don't know how to explain it," I say, and before I can fumble for the words to describe what it is that I feel when I am around Dani, Lisa presses a small peck to my lips. She opens her mouth to say something but a small voice comes from the door way.
" Mikey," the small angelic voice of Carly-Ann rings through the room. I turn and look, and with horror see that tears are clouding her usually happy eyes.
" Carly-Ann," I say, stepping towards her.
" No, no. Your supposed to love my Mama, not her. We're supposed to be a family," she shrieks, running from the room.
" Michael, I didn't mean too," Lisa says, but I just shake my head sadly.
" Don't apologize Lisa, it isn't your fault, this is my mess," I say, rubbing a hand over my face. How is that I keep messing up tonight? It cant get much worse than this, I never knew just how wrong I could be.
Dani's POV
Surprisingly, it doesn't take me nearly as long as I thought it would to pull myself together, with the help of Siedah my make-up looks flawless, expertly covering the evidence of my hot tears, a fake smile plastered on my lips. I walk back into the hallway, Siedah at my side, walking slowly.
" It's going to be all right Dani," Siedah reassures me, and I just nod my head. Of course it would be okay, it was only love. Love comes and goes. I'm stopped in my tracks when Mac calls my name. I smile at him as he runs towards me, skididng to a stop.
" Dani, Dani, have you seen Carly-Ann? We are going to watch a movie in the theatre and I cant find her anyhwere," Mac says, his big blue eyes shining up at me. It never ceased to amaze me the power that my daughter had on people. It was the day after we arrived that Carly-Ann met Maucauly Culkin, or Mac as he is known here at Neverland. She was smitten from the beginning and apparently the feeling was mutual.
" Sorry Mac, I don't know where she is. Last time I saw her she was with her uncle Kyle, dancing. I'll tell you what, we'll look for her together," I say, taking his hand in mine. We make it into the main entry way when the sound of screeching breaks catches our attention.
" What was that?" I ask, dropping Mac's hand as I turn to walk out of the front door. Everything moves in slow motion when I see the driver getting out of the car, yelling that he had hit a child.
" Carly-Ann," I say, my mouth barely able to form the words. I run to the front of the van, and everything shatters as I scream, falling to my knee's, pulling my daughter into my arms. The rain falls around us, on us, as I clutch my daughter closely to my chest. Her eyes are open, looking around wildly, and I scream for help as I press my hands to her head trying to stop the bleeding.
" Get us some help, please, someone call an ambulance!" I scream, my eyes burning as the rain and my tears mix with make-up. I rock her, crying as her body goes limp.
" No, no, no. Carly-Ann baby, please, keep your eyes open baby, keep your eyes open," I chant over and over again. I don't even notice the crowd that has gathered around us, the soft gasps, I don't notice anything until Brandon and Kyle are at my side.
" Dani, what happened, oh my God, Carly-Ann," Brandon says, and I hear my mothers tortured wails fall over me. I gather my daughter closely, curling my body around her, weeping into her hair. The smell of her favorite strawberry shampoo invading my senses. I fight against the arms trying to pry me away from my daughter. It takes Brandon, Kyle, and Max to get me out of the way so that the paramedics can do their job. I stand in the rain, clutching onto my brothers as I watch the E.M.T's do their best to save my daughter, my life, my world. Then there was nothing, no sound, no air, no meaning to life when one of the paramedics looks up at me, blinking at the rain that falls onto his face.
" I'm sorry," he says, and after that nothing else mattered. I died, right along with her, in the rain, on the driveway of Neverland.