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(chapter 11: guilt)

Ziva ran as fast as she could towards the explosions as Tony coordinated with the other agents, her eyes were filling with tears as she screamed McGee's name loud, the heat from the tank made it impossible for her to get close.

"McGee!" she screamed loud to the wind and the flaming tank.

"Try behind you Ziva" the sound of McGee's voice sounded from behind her causing her to spin to come face to face with the sight Gibb's and McGee standing by the car, McGee was clutching the left side of his rib as he walked towards her, she laughed happily hugging him tight causing him to groan in pain "Ow Ow Ow!" she pulled back with worry in her eyes and he chuckled "Just bruised myself" she kisses him gently as he pulled her close, Gibbs waited 2 seconds before slapping them over the head causing them to jump apart "quit playing grab ass and lets go home" Gibbs ordered while getting back into the car.

Ncis: 2 days later:

Ziva was sat at her desk while the others were at their weeks, Ducky was working on the remains of Kate that was pulled from the wreckage from the tank.

McGee typed his reports up from the operation, Kate supplier turned out to be a lieutenant commander who had messed with the paperwork so nobody new about the missing tank, Abby had managed to pull up the deleted cctv footage for the night thee tank was stolen and found him opening the doors to Kate and 2 members of her firebird gang.

The body was too badly destroyed to confirm if this woman was Kate or a fake... 2 members of the firebird gang had given a testimony against the oothers in order for a different sentence.

McGee went and found Ducky in autopsy working on the body.

"Hey Ducky" McGee greeted.

Timothy" Ducky smiled at him.

"Can we talk" McGee looked almost sad as he looked at the remains.

"sure... Mr Palmer... Take over!" Ducky moved over to McGee placing a hand on his shoulder leading him away from the body "What is it McGee?" Ducky asked concerned.

"I feel... i'm losing myself" he sat in a chair while Ducky took up his seat.

"Why do you say that McGee?" Ducky leaned forward.

"In the past... i could never do such a thing to someone... stick a C4 charge on them and blow them up in a damn tank" Ducky chuckled while McGee spoke "I don't want to become this monster Duck... I can't" McGee pleaded.

Ducky sighed but was cut off by Gibbs standing behind McGee "You did what you ad to do McGee" Gibbs voice caused McGee to jump "Uh boss" he stood up but was pushed back in his seat by Gibbs "McGee... what you did today saved lives" McGee closed his eye sighing sadly "But Gibbs..."

"No buts McGee" and with that he turned back and left the young agent in autopsy.

"He's right Timothy" Ducky agreed.

"Maybe... maybe" he whispered silently,

Everyone was finishing up with their reports, McGee sat in silence as his brain was running through everything that had happened.

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Lycanboy666