Chapter 11
"Let me die." Hannah whimpered in her sleep, Laura brushed the hair out Hannah's sweat covered face. Laura was crouched in front of Hannah who was lying on her side in bed.
"Shhh, it's ok." Laura said in a soothing tone as she ran her hand down the side of Hannah's face comforting gesture while her other hand held one of Hannah's hands the dangled over the edge. It was 4 am and not the first time Laura was comforting her friend at least after the sixth time of waking from her light slumber, Laura knew how to quickly calm Hannah before she started screaming.
It didn't stop the pain Laura felt at seeing her friend in so much pain while asleep, but the girl wouldn't wake due her exhaustion and the high fever she was running. Laura continued her gestures of soothing comfort while repeating the same lines over and over.
"It's ok, nothing can hurt you," Laura told her. Hannah's breathing slowed as she seemed to calm down. The pain was written on her face slowly washed away. "That's right you're safe." Laura told Hannah.
She had thought about calling Keller but decided against it as she knew that it would be put on the record and Laura knew better than anyone else Hannah didn't like to appear weak and she also disliked being prodded by doctors. She also didn't need to help General O'Neill and Daniel in their argument that Hannah should be on Earth.
Everyone had nightmares, night terrors were marginally worse and in this case heart wrenching for Laura. It didn't mean Hannah needed a padded room and psychologists. She needed her friends and comfort to know she was safe.
Hannah's breathing slowed into a relaxed state once again, Laura allowed herself to exhale before she climbed back on to the bed lying beside Hannah. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to once again fall into a light sleep ready for the next time Hannah stirred.
Unknown Location on Earth,
A group of four people gathered in an abandoned warehouse. All looked wary of their location and the others they were in company with as they stood around a table.
"Why have you broken protocol?" The woman asked, she appeared annoyed she folded her arms staring down the young man who had broken protocol.
"Because I've come into some highly valuable and time sensitive information." the young man said as he placed a holographic projector device on the table. He pressed a button activating the holographic projection. A screen appeared hovering about the device.
"What could be possibly valuable and time sensitive about a dead soldier?" a man in his late 40's with greying hair asked.
"She is alive." the young man told them.
"We broke protocol for this? I am already under suspicion and you have me risk my cover for some administration mistake?" The last of the four to speak was a portly man wearing an expensive suit.
"Yes, please enlighten us to why we should be impressed at her ability to survive." The woman said dryly.
"Her name is Hannah O'Neill, she may look like your average honey in marine greens." the young man said using his earth vernacular "But she is a clone made by the Asgard. Some mistake in the process of her being created ended with her having the genetic memories of the Goa'uld, Ancient, Colonel Samantha Carter and General O'Neill. Not to mention the information she accrued from the Asgard." The young man explained.
"You're saying she is like a Harcesis?" The woman asked.
"Yes, from the files I have copied she ascended several months ago and only 48hrs descended back to our plane." the young man said.
"Her memories would be erased by the Ancients." the portly man said.
"Perhaps not, Dr Daniel Jackson had only his memories of time when he was ascended erased. Eventually his memories and knowledge returned. I believe her knowledge would be buried much like Dr Jackson's. If we can remove that knowledge before she recovers her memories…" The young man drawled.
"The wealth of knowledge would give us the advantage we need to finally get a proper foothold in this galaxy." The man in his late 40's said.
"Where are they keeping her?"
"General O'Neill and Dr Jackson have gone to Atlantis to retrieve her. They had set up a room for her at a medical facility but they were overdue in their return. I think they might be rethinking this course of action." The young man said.
"Perhaps we should activate our sleeper agent in Atlantis?" The portly man suggested looking at the woman.
"Yes," the woman agreed she looked to the man in his late 40's "You will make an appearance on Atlantis to drop off the appropriate equipment the designated drop zone in 48hrs." The woman instructed. The man nodded before she looked at the young man.
"Good work, I will let our leader know of your good work. Now we will rendezvous at a later date yet to be confirmed. Until then keep your heads down comrades." The woman turned off the device on the table and picked it up. She placed it in her pocket and walked away from the room smiling to herself.
Hannah woke up when an arm smacked her in the face hitting her bruised cheek. She groaned in pain and pushed the arm off her face. She opened her eyes and looked around the room disorientated as she didn't recognize where she was.
She would have panicked except that Laura was sleeping beside her snoring lightly. Obviously this had to be the new apartment Sheppard spoke of last night. Hannah picked up Laura's wrist and looked at the time on the watch, it read 6 am.
"What's the time?" Laura mumbled still half asleep.
"6am," Hannah said in a scratchy voice, she rubbed her throat and grimaced as it was feeling raw.
"Mmm too early," Laura grumbled.
"I was thinking get an early start on the day, see Dr Keller, have breakfast and then go and get our stuff and move in properly." Hannah said, Laura sat up and rubbed her face and nodded.
"How are you feeling?" Laura asked her.
"Bit of a sore throat, slightly congested. I think I have a cold." Hannah said.
"You sound it." Laura said looking amused.
"What? It's not funny I can't breathe through my nose!" Hannah said picking up a pillow and smacking Laura who was laughing at her.
"It's just that you have never caught a cold or the flu in all our years of friendship. It's kind of nice to know you aren't entirely superhuman." Laura said as she grabbed the pillow from Hannah. Laura jumped off the bed and proceeded to stretch and yawn.
"Well then that makes it so much better." Hannah placed her head in her hands and groaned.
"Hey, are you ok? I mean besides the cold." Laura said she sat down next to Hannah and gave her a look of concern.
"I said something in my sleep, didn't I?" Hannah asked looking down at her hands not wanting to see her fears being confirmed. If she had spoken she had screamed and probably kept Laura up all night thanks to her conscious mind not being able to cope.
"Yeah and you also were having some nightmares. Do you want to talk about it?" Laura asked. Hannah shook her head she hadn't been able to tell anyone in great detail what her nightmares were about. She tried with Halling once but it had been difficult and didn't end well.
"I'm sorry." Hannah said looking up tears brimming in her eyes. Laura rubbed Hannah's arm in a comforting gesture.
"You got nothing to apologise for. Now why don't I take you to the Infirmary get some drugs into you and then the mess for some food so you can feel better. Sound good?" Laura asked smiling at Hannah.
"Yeah that sounds great." Hannah said rubbing her eyes to wipe the tears away.
A couple of hours later, Hannah and Laura sat in the mess hall eating breakfast with Teyla and Demming. Hannah and Laura had gone to the infirmary and had Hannah checked over by the doctor on duty before leaving with cold medicine as strict orders to rest and drink plenty of fluids. They then proceeded to Laura's quarters where Hannah had another shower and washed her hair, she used Laura's hair dryer to dry her hair before getting changed into a spare urban camo Marine BDU uniform of Laura's.
They packed up Laura's belongs before leaving for breakfast. Laura thought it would be best if they ate some food before making the trek and they needed to get Hannah some boots.
They hadn't found any boots Hannah's size in their search before giving up for breakfast so she was currently sitting barefoot at the table. They were soon joined by Demming and Teyla who made comments about the two women's apparent lack of sleep.
"Drink more orange juice." Laura told Hannah, who had pushed her half eaten tray of food away from her and placed her head on the table.
"Later," Hannah groaned in a stuffy congested voice.
"No, trust me it has vitamin C which you need." Laura said she pulled the straw off the juice box and set it all up for Hannah when she was ready to drink.
"You look like you could use some rest there Red." Demming commented to Laura, Hannah looked up at Laura seeing the dark circles under friend's eyes. It made her feel horrible for not noticing and then guilty as it was her fault. Laura gave a nonchalant shrug at the comment.
"Yeah I had the weirdest dream that I was paintballing only my team mates were the Muppets and the opposition was the cast of Sesame Street." Laura said. Hannah took a long sip of her juice box for Laura and then put her head down to rest.
"Who won?" Demming asked.
"My team, like you have to ask. Though I feel kind of wrong for shooting Elmo in the head." Laura said looking rueful after a moment she dismissed the regret and shrugged her shoulders again before continuing to eat her meal.
"You need therapy." Demming told Laura, he looked at Hannah who was seated beside him. She still had her head in arms on the table. "Hey Diseased person, you want some waffle?" he asked, Laura kicked him under the table.
"She is not diseased, it's a cold; give her break." Laura chastised him.
"Give her a break? I haven't been to bed yet since I have to fix up the control systems. Hannah, you want to know the best way to get rid of a cold?" Demming asked Hannah.
Hannah lifted her head and looked at him, she had taken cold tablets the doctor gave her but they had sort of helped the runny nose and lowered the fever but it hadn't helped her congestion or sore throat. She was also sporting a grey pallor with puffy eyes and looking fairly miserable as her deathly glow made her bruised face look more gruesome.
"How?" She asked as she sniffed.
"You pass it on to someone else." Demming said with a smile. Hannah looked at him thoughtfully and then without warning grabbed his head and proceeded to lick the side of his face from jaw to temple. Teyla's eyes went wide as did Laura's as they watched it happen.
"Good Morning," Sheppard said taking a seat at the head of the table. The lick wasn't missed by Sheppard who had just walked up to join them. She then released him and pulled a face of disgust. Demming looked a mixture of stunned, intrigued and disgusted.
"I feel disgusted yet oddly turned on at the same time." Demming mused, he made no move to wipe the saliva off his face.
"That didn't make me feel better, if anything I feel worse." Hannah said as she felt like she was going to vomit.
"I said pass it on. Not lick my face." Demming told her.
"Trust me, I won't be repeating the experience you have the texture of sandpaper and taste of soap" Hannah said slightly gagging, she picked up her juice box and drained the rest of it to wash the soapy taste from her mouth.
"I'm clean and I was going to shave but then I got lazy and seriously why did you coat the side my face with saliva?" Demming asked as he picked him his napkin to finally wipe his face.
"You said pass it on, cold virus is spread by saliva." Hannah said.
"I'm so happy you chose me of all people to share it with. Couldn't you have lick Dr McKay?" he asked, he picked up the waffle he had on his tray and broke it in half.
"No, please don't give McKay a cold!" Sheppard begged as he placed his cup of coffee on the table.
"I'll give you half my waffle if you do." Demming offered to Hannah waving the waffle piece in front of her. Hannah looked clearly not interested as she moved back to her original position with her head in her arms on the table.
"I will pay you good money not to lick McKay…wow I never thought I'd ever say something like that." Sheppard mused as Laura laughed along with Teyla.
"I would prefer if Rodney remained in perfect health." Teyla said with an amused smile.
"So what's wrong with O'Neill?" Sheppard asked.
"Hannah is experiencing her first cold." Laura announced, Sheppard noted how even the redhead looked a little rundown than usual energetic self.
"Hey, I got an idea!" Demming said looking overly excited.
"No." Sheppard and Laura said in unison.
"I haven't even said what it is." Demming said pouting.
"The answer is still no." Sheppard said.
"Fine, be like that!" Demming said folding his arms across his chest and looking put out.
"You know I've never seen Hannah sick… except for the time she was hangover." Sheppard said.
"The doc said when she descended she may have lost some of her immunity to earth diseases. The doctor reckons she'll have a fun transition phase and they will give her all the other shots after her body has finished playing with its new bug!" Laura cooed she reached over and ruffled Hannah's hair. Hannah groaned and aimlessly swatted her hand around trying to stop Laura after a moment she made a 'meh' noise and lowered her hand.
"Well don't worry kid I got our whole day planned." Demming said more to the table than Hannah. "We are going to relax and watch movies."
"Actually, Hannah is going to relax and watch movies and you are going to help me move." Laura told Demming, she exchanged Hannah's empty juice box for fresh one but left it unopened so Hannah could take it with her.
"We can't leave her unsupervised." Demming said.
"Well we don't go off world for another three hours. Ronon, Teyla or I can look after Hannah while you help Lt Cadman." Sheppard offered.
"See easy!" Laura said smiling at Demming as she really wanted some time alone to talk to him and see if would hack into Hannah's personnel file so she could take a look.
"You know I'm right here," Hannah said lifting her head again "And I'm perfectly capable of being left alone for a couple hours. I promise not to go anywhere but to bed and to remain there." she volunteered as she sick and miserable.
"I'm sure, but we have to follow General O'Neill's orders until he believes you are going to behave. Now drink your juice box or I'll make you watch a b-grade scary movies." Sheppard told her. Hannah glowered at the new juice box.
"How about I take Hannah to my lab get her all set up on the couch with some blankets and movies while you all finish up breakfast and then one of you can come and take over?" Demming suggested.
"That works." Sheppard said as he took a bite of his breakfast.
"Awesome." Demming said he picked up Hannah's unopened juice box while Hannah stood up from the seat, she looked ready to collapse and it was only quarter to 7 in the morning.
"Bye all." She mumbled as Demming grabbed her by the arm like an eager school kid and dragged her away. Those at the table smiled before Sheppard looked at Laura.
"Why isn't Hannah wearing any boots?" Sheppard asked as he saw Hannah's barefeet hit the floor as she walked away.
"Cause we couldn't find any and there were no spares in storage" Laura answered.
"Oh, I'll look into that and get someone to track down the pair I gave her yesterday." Sheppard said.
"Thank you Sir."
"So how was the first night?" Sheppard asked.
"Eventful to say the least, I'd prefer to discuss it with you in a less public forum." Laura said as she looked around the now busy mess hall.
"Ok, my office in an hour." Sheppard said looking at Laura curiously for a moment but he understood whatever she wanted discuss she didn't want it common knowledge.
"So I'm thinking we'll start off with Princess Bride, maybe some other fun movies as laughter is the best medicine. I'm sure if you ask Dr Branton he'll let you borrow something from his movie collection as he has a lot of old black and white movies which I know is more your taste. Or was your taste …whatever." Demming continued to talk at a rapid pace about movies and Dr Branton. She nodded not really paying attention as she just wanted to lie down.
They moved through the crowd in the mess hall trying to get to the exit when a hand grabbed Hannah's arm. She turned around and looked at who was holding onto her forearm. Her heart stopped in her throat as it was Daniel Jackson.
"Hannah." He said looking at her in the eyes. His posture was slightly slumped as his eyes were filled with remorse. She looked down at the hand on her forearm it was light, she could feel the heat coming off his person. He appeared the opposite of the man in her nightmares. But her mind told her how he appeared now was just a façade. It made her angry than the panic she had expected as she knew he could still hurt her without inflicting physical pain.
She pulled her arm out of his light grip and turned to walk away but he spoke again.
"Hannah Stop… Please!" Daniel said Hannah turned around the look she gave him was a mixture of panic and anger it soon shifted into an eerie calm expression. He didn't know why he stopped her, actually he was lying he saw an opportunity to talk to her before he left for Earth. He knew he should have let her walk past him in the breakfast crowd but he couldn't help himself.
The light crowd around them parted some taking interest while others continued to go on about their morning getting breakfast and coffee before moving to the tables.
"I just want to talk, that's all." he said to her, his heart pounded in his chest as he wasn't sure of what he could say but he just wanted closure and some peace in knowing he explained his actions. She stood no more than five feet away from him with Demming at her side he had placed a hand on Hannah's shoulder and whispered something in her ear. She listened to him and turned to leave.
"Please give me a chance to-" Daniel pleaded.
"Why? Why can't you leave me alone?" She asked him in a low chilling voice. It felt like the room had dropped a few degrees in temperature.
"I'm trying-" Daniel started but Hannah cut him off.
"To what? Feed me lies? It won't work I know you and this act will not fool me. I remember the sadistic, self serving bastard you are and what you did to me!" she spat at him angrily, the room became quiet as everyone stopped to pay attention this time. It was like they could feel the hostility which was a rare occurrence in the Mess. Hannah and Daniel didn't notice as they were too busy looking at one another.
"Hannah, let's go." Demming said gently as he grabbed Hannah's arm she shrugged it off and moved another step closer to Daniel.
"They tell me I'm supposed to trust you, that you are my friend. I find it hard to believe I'd be friends with someone who put me through hell. You know I can still hear those words in my head." Hannah said to Daniel he seemed frozen in his place as he could only remember one time.
Sheppard stood up from his table when the room went quiet. That was when he saw Daniel and Hannah facing each other off. Daniel's shoulders were slumped in an early defeat as Sheppard couldn't see his face as Daniel's back was turned to him. Hannah though he could see was an unhealthy mix of rage and anguish. Tears had fallen down her face as she spoke to Daniel. She wasn't yelling but was loud and clear enough to carry into the room and grabbed attention.
He saw Ronon had just entered the room to witness the show. They both locked eyes for a moment an understanding passed between them. Sheppard knew with her memory loss she didn't have the same control over her emotions. Ronon gave a nod and slowly moved to where Hannah stood. Sheppard looked at Laura who was ready to jump in. Sheppard motioned she stay put as he moved closer to the action.
"Through suffering comes redemption my child." Hannah quoted coldly she stepped closer to Daniel, he paled at the words as they were the direct translation from Ancient of the prayer the Priors used to torture their victims. The same lines he used when his reverse psychology didn't work on her and Adria wished to conform her through the traditional route.
"Through sorrow comes exaltation, through the pitch dark comes the cleansing of the fire and through the fire we shall find the spring of new life. I remember how you-" she stopped and looked away. Her lips thinned out as she wiped the tears from her face. Daniel was at a loss for words for one of the few times in his life.
She felt betrayed, angry and frustrated because she felt so sure of herself but there was a small part of her that questioned everything. It made her feel unsure and powerless. He made her feel powerless because his actions now contradicted what she felt she knew.
"Hannah-" Daniel started but Hannah spoke over him.
"So I ask myself why are you here? Can't you see I want nothing to do with you? I want to forget you and everything that happened which is ironic since I have amnesia. So what will it take to get you out of my life?" She asked him.
Daniel searched her face. He knew her forgiveness wouldn't be easily given or easily gained. But he truly saw no hope as she was hurting because of what he did, he realised O'Neill was right he needed to leave Hannah alone and allow her memories to return as he was only causing her more pain. He sighed defeated and rubbed a hand over his face before looking at her as she waited.
"There's nothing I can say to make you understand or change your perception until you regain your memories. Then you'll understand, you may not forgive me but you'll understand. Like anyone in this room can tell you we all make decisions and sacrifices for the greater good. What happened to you was necessary for the greater good of mankind."
"You son of a bitch!" Hannah growled. Sheppard looked at Ronon who was now standing behind Hannah. He saw the signs of Hannah losing her self restraint.
"Ronon, get her out of here!" Sheppard shouted before Hannah could make another move Ronon grabbed Hannah from behind pinning her arms to her sides in an iron strong hold so she couldn't get away and proceeded to lift her off her feet.
"No! please wait! wait!" Hannah pleaded Ronon stopped momentarily but kept his hold on Hannah as she stopped struggling and looked at Daniel. "Do you remember my promise to you Dr Jackson?" She asked with predatorily tone, Daniel paled at her tone but nodded though he didn't remember the words he could tell by her tone and the gleam in her what her intent was.
"I'm going to keep it this time!" she told him with a smile, she started struggling in Ronon's grip again but this time to intimidate Jackson as she finally had him scared.
"Ronon!" Sheppard ordered.
"You hear me? I'm keeping my promise!" Hannah yelled as she lifted her legs in the air and struggled in a futile attempt to get out of Ronon's grip as he pulled her out of the room all the while she struggled against him and continued to shout from the hallway. Sheppard stepped forward and clapped his hands garnering the room's attention.
"Ok, Breakfast show is over kids! Please return to whatever you were doing beforehand and forget what you saw." Sheppard said though no one missed the slightly authoritative tone as he said the last part, one that translated to a subtle order. After a few moments the mess resumed to how it had been before Daniel and Hannah encounter.
Sheppard turned his back to the room and folding his arms. He stepped toward Daniel with an expression that said he was not impressed and that was Daniel's polite interpretation.
"I assume you are leaving at 0800 with General O'Neill?" Sheppard asked casually.
"Yes," Daniel said, he looked over to see Laura glaring at him. He actually noted many people were giving him unfriendly looks it made him think it was probably best he skip breakfast altogether.
"Good because I know that you didn't purposely go out of your way to be here at the same time as Hannah to try a stunt but then how opportune it appeared as you're here the same time as her." Sheppard said making unveiled accusation of Daniel and his character.
"Stunt?" Daniel asked.
"Don't think I'm stupid. You want her to go back to Earth with you and General O'Neill. O'Neill agreed to let her stay if she behaves. I wouldn't put it past you to try because I'd do the same if I were in your shoes. By the way what was the promise she was talking about?" Sheppard asked curiously.