Author's note: Sorry it took so long to upload this. Homework and extra tuition (since my school insists on putting me in higher maths) and whatnot. I'm back now! I'll try to get an extra chapter done before I have to go to guides.
Thank you so much for the reviews! I know it's sort of pathetic, but it just makes my day every time I see the 'new review' email from Fanfiction... Happiest person on earth right now!
I don't own Harry Potter, which is a bit of a downer, but anyways... *Insanely girlish scream inserted here*
Thank you!
Do not cry because it is over. Smile because it happened~ Dr Suess
"You would've thought." I said dismally, staring at the letter I had just received. "That, considering there have been no new near death experiences since February, she'd loosen up a little."
It was nice to know I had friends who cared. Alicia and Angelina had practically drowned me in their tears, and Fred, George and Lee hadn't cracked a single joke since this most recent letter, which finalised my final day at Hogwarts and my first at Beauxbottoms- I mean, Beauxbatons. I'm really going to have to get over that now I go there, but Alicia let it slip on day, and it's kind of stuck.
Then again, maybe having friend's who care has it's pros and cons. Every second I spend with them makes it that much harder to finally say goodbye...
"You have to promise to write every week." Angelina sighs.
"Everyday, if I can." I promise.
Angelina smiles sadly. "And to think, we were all set to try out for the Quidditch team next year." she sighed.
"Yeah, and Hogsmede year after that." Alicia is trying not to burst into tears again.
"And, what with all the teachers raving about your abilities, I was hoping you'd do our homework." George says, in a clear attempt to lighten the mood.
"And get us out of trouble." Fred chimes in.
Lee elbows them. Unusually sombre, in a way he never ordinarily is, he gives me a weak smile. "Point being, we're going to miss you."
Sucking in a deep breath, I look around the common room, stare long and hard at each of their faces. "I'm really going to miss you guys, too. I'm going to miss everything about this place."
The fact of the matter was, I had come to Hogwarts more full of hope than I had ever been, but still resigned. Because I was Adeline Selene Lestrange. If something started going right, it was a sure sign to get out your tissues, because it was pretty certain that something was going to go so catastrophically wrong you'd be sobbing your heart out into an indifferent pillow within the space of hours.
I guess you don't realise how important something is until some aunt with your best interests at heart decides she's going to take it away from you.
Running a hand up and down the soft, comfortable armchair, it seemed suddenly rather surreal. As if I was apart from it, as if the girl saying goodbye to her friends (potentially for good) was not me, as if the girl returning to her domineering family really was Miss Adeline Selene Lestrange. Not Adele.
Not me. Someone else. Someone my family had created, in order to serve a purpose. Because no one in this family could ever just be loved. They had to earn their place, become a pawn in this endless game of chess.
Everything I had learnt this year seemed to suddenly fly from my grasp, until I barely knew the people sat in that circle by the fire, barely even knew myself. I felt just as unsure as I had when I had first stepped through Hogwart's double doors.
"Adeline Lestrange?" Asks a timid voice. I turn to see a scared looking girl from the year above with a note in her hand.
"Yes?" I ask, trying not to snap at her. Instantly, I know I have failed. She looks as if she desires nothing more than for the ground to swallow her whole.
"Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office."
Exchanging looks of bewilderment and horror with my friends, I experience the distant sort of sensation of my stomach dropping.
"Look on the bright side." Shrugs George.
"You can't get expelled." Fred laughs.
Angelina punches them both. Straightening my skirt, I ignore them all and walk out through the portrait hole without looking back.
Knocking timidly on the door to Professor Dumbledore's study, I am told immediately to enter. He sits back in his armchair, smiling contentedly.
"Ah. Adele. How nice to see you. Please, do take a seat."
I do not question how he knows my name, let alone that I am Adele, not Adeline. I just accept the offered seat and look at him expectantly.
"You have had quite an eventful year." He says, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth as he sets a letter held at his fingertips on his desk. "And now I hear that you are due to be leaving us."
Keeping my eyes firmly fixed on his face, I bite my lip, and decide to ask the question in any case. "Sir-Professor Dumbledore, could I ask you a question?"
"I believe you just did." He says, his eyes twinkling more vividly than ever. "However, I do not think another would go amiss."
"Well, it's about Professor Snape." I say.
I was sat under the table in the drawing room, clutching the table leg and biting my lip, trying not to cry out in pain. Yelling would not buy me pity, especially not with my mother. The ointment my father had put on my arm (the latest part of me to fall victim to my mother's experiments) was not quite as effective blocking out the pain as it was healing...
Perhaps my father, like every other person in this place, believed that a little pain for a young person would never go amiss. Perhaps he believed I should get used to it, so I could be of use to my master when I was grown- whoever 'the master' even was, however, was yet to be discovered...
Footsteps echoed through the dank, sparsely furnished room. Knowing there would be much worse punishment if I were found listening to another of those private conversations, I crawled slowly out from under the table, stifling the gasps of pain which fell unbidden from my lips every time I moved, pain spiking every centimetre I inched forward.
Keeping my eyes on the floor, dark hair swinging in front of my eyes and on my back, I noticed the man's shoes before I saw his face. They were scuffed, and dust coloured, almost as if his footwear was of no importance to him at this particular moment. This was difficult for me to comprehend, for everyone I knew wore rich, lavish clothes and took great pride in their appearance. Though I was but three years of age, I myself was dressed in a midnight blue velvet dress, with matching ribbons in my hair, and little satin slippers on my feet.
Slowly, I looked up into the face of a hook nosed man who, in my current stance, seemed to tower so high above me I would need several step ladders to look him in the eye. Sneering down at me, I saw something in his eye I was unaccustomed to seeing in anyone in this place. Pity.
Eyes black and expressionless, giving nothing away. Skin yellow and sallow, as if he very rarely saw the sunlight. His hair seemed to shine it was so damp and so black, a complete and unbroken sheet of grease...
Without knowing how I knew it, I realised this man was a potential ally, or that he would not (at the very least) give me away and hand me back for torture. Hesitantly, I pressed a finger against my lips. Slowly, in a barely perceptible movement, he nodded, and ushered me back under the table to sit underneath his chair whilst the meeting commenced.
"He- he was a death eater, was he not?" I ask, as hesitant now as I was then. Joke though Fred and George may about me being able to do anything without getting expelled, I didn't want to offend Dumbledore. He had been kind and trusting, when barely anyone else in the wizarding world who knew of my parents crimes would ever have been in a million years so much as looked at me, and he emitted a powerful aura of a man who would make a powerful ally. I honestly liked him. I did not want him to think ill of me.
"What made you ask about this now?" Asks Dumbledore, smiling to show he is not, as I had feared, offended. For the moment, at least.
"It's been bugging me all year." I confess. "Only I couldn't figure out why. But then I just remembered- I think he helped me. When I was younger. He stopped my mother- anyway. It's not important. I was just wondering." I hastily amend. It is my personal rule, by which I live my whole life, that you should never, ever look back. What is the use? My past is full of pain. My present is full of hope. It is my future to which I must now turn. What purpose will it serve to recount that memory to Dumbledore, who, kind as he may be, will never fully understand? I'll keep it to myself, for this burden is mine alone to carry, and Dumbledore would only become worried and start involving all sorts of people who ought not be involved- the minister number one on that list...
"Well, to answer your question, Professor Snape was indeed a death eater. He quickly saw the error of his ways, however, and turned spy. He led to valuable information that eventually helped us win the war."
"Oh." Is all I can manage.
"You are surprised?"
"No." I said, and truthfully. "I knew Professor Snape was a good man, if not an altogether likeable one."
It slips from my mouth before I can stop it. Luckily, Dumbledore does not seem offended. Indeed, a small chuckle escapes him.
"It was very brave of him." I say fervently, remembering the fear every single one of my parent's 'friends' inspired in me. "He could have so easily have been killed."
"Yes." Says Dumbledore quietly. Suddenly, he raises his voice. "But that isn't what I wanted to discuss with you, Adele.
I wait quietly, examining my hands.
"You have had a wonderful year here, Adele. Every teacher you have had cannot praise you enough."
It takes me very much by surprise. Other than McGonagall, who has taken pains to get to know me personally, I haven't really engaged with many of the teachers. The judgement lingered in their eyes long after my fellow pupils learned to know me for who I really was.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkle. "Even our precious sorting hat-" He gestured towards the hat. "Reported you to be very intelligent. He said you applied occulmency against him, and didn't even realise what you were doing."
I turn the same flame red colour of the pheonix on the stand by his desk. "Thank you, sir."
"You have made many friends here, unless I am very much mistaken."
Bowing my head even further, I bite my lip, looking at the hands clasped in my lap. "Yes, sir. I- I will miss them all."
"I do not doubt it." He says sincerely. "Well, Adele, if you don't mind me saying, I think you have a lot to be proud of this year. First year of Hogwarts is hard enough, without the judgement you have had to cope with. And, forgive me, I do not think we have heard the last of you."
Allowing him a tremulous smile as my heart glowed with the praise so rarely lavished on me, I looked up from my hands. "Thank you, sir."
"I only hope, should you break the rules so blatantly again, you would ensure that it does not put you in the path of any enraged Hippogriths. Only your aunt and uncle did not, as I gather, take so kindly to that."
I couldn't help it. I laughed.