Career Adjustment

Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.

"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.

Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut

Sephiroth arrived at his new workplace somewhere around the designated time. The building was newly built, containing thirty floors and a shiny modern interior with various restaurants at the base. Though the building had only opened a year ago, most of the floors and suites had been leased out.

Once he stepped out of the taxi and walked into the building, hoards of bustling office workers stopped to stare at him. Even dressed in civilian clothing, he was still easily recognizable. He smirked cockily at a few attractive females and they blushed madly; one nearly fainted.

Too easy…The SOLDIER thought. He took a chance as he walked further into the lobby and winked at an obviously straight male with his arm wrapped around a young lady's waist. The man's cheeks flushed and although Sephiroth didn't look back, he heard the lady slap the man and leave in an exasperated huff. The silver haired man's grin widened.

He made it to the elevator and the look on everyone's face when he stepped in only added to his ego. The man turned to a woman near to the elevator buttons and he smiled at her.

"Floor thirty please," he said, making his voice sound deeper and more sensual than usual. The woman didn't move and could easily sense her nervousness. Instead of repeating himself, he reached over her and hit the button himself. He gave his trademark wink at the cute little brunette and ran his fingers through his hair.

The woman hit the floor.

On the ride up, a few women fanned the passed out brunette with their folders. When he reached his floor, he strolled down to the receptionist desk and leaned heavily against it. The man was of Wutaiian decent and kept his shoulder length hair in a neat bob. His eyes were so dark they appeared to be black, which contrast greatly with his pale skin. He had a pensive, uptight look about him, but he was also really attractive. Sephiroth shot the hot receptionist a grin and figured he'd have the man in bed with him before he fucked the Wutaiian Turk leader this Saturday.

"I'm the secretary for the temporary office of Shinra," he informed.

"Your desk is over there," the man said evenly. He didn't even look up as he pointed to the desk across from him.

Sephiroth was slightly taken back by how deep and smooth the man's voice was, but even more shocked by how he ignored him. The silver haired narcissus leaned over the desk and was so bold as to tap the man on his forehead. That got the sleek haired Wutaiian's attention. He stopped what he was doing and looked up. Sephiroth was greeted with a slightly annoyed look twisted upon the man's pretty features.

"Over there," he repeated sharply. Sephiroth chuckled out of amusement. Just who the fuck in their right mind would talk to him like that? He scanned the nametag pinned on the man's blazer and smirked.

"Hey Jing-Xu," he said, purposefully butchering the name, "I'm new here so be a little nice to me. It may pay off for you in the near future."

Sephiroth looked down into those dark un-amused eyes and was starting to become pissed off at the resistance.

The little receptionist stood up to a height of about 5'4" and looked up at Sephiroth with an expression that could rival his own haughtiness.

"Look motherfucker," Jing-Xu hissed smoothly, "Sit your ass over there and wait for your fucking boss to get here. If you keep fucking with me I will make sure you wish you hadn't."

Sephiroth blinked once, then again before he erupted in laughter. How dare this five foot nothing pretty boy speak to him that way! He was so pissed all he could do was laugh. He ran his fingers through his hair and smirked at the receptionist who was taking his seat.

"You might want to stand up for this you little shit," he said deeply. "I'm general Sephiroth, head of Shinra's army and SOLDIER first class. This temporary job sparked from a man's insanity is playtime for me, and while you sit here pushing your fucking glasses up and creating spreadsheets, I'm out there obliterating the most fearsome of beasts with barely a flick of my wrists. You will respect me you little shit and you will speak to me …"

Sephiroth didn't have a chance to finish his thought because the next second he was dodging something that went whizzing past his head. The object hit the wall behind him and he quickly turned his head to see what it was. He looked at the shiny metal embedded into the wall and looked back at Jing.

"Did…Did you just throw a fucking shuriken at me?" he asked shocked.

Answering his question, Jing pulled another from seemingly out of thin air and flung it at the silver haired general who dodged that one and stood back.

Jing smirked and with a flick of his wrists, shurikens and kunai all appeared between his fingers.

"What the fuck?" the silver general swore.

"Take your seat, Sir," the receptionist- turned-ninja bit out.

Sephiroth wasn't scared of the man as much as he was confused. He walked backward until his legs hit his desk. He maneuvered behind the desk and sat down in the swivel chair. Jing sat back down and resumed his previous tasks of typing.

The general scratched his head in confusion. What the fuck just happened?

A few minutes went by before Sephiroth was over the initial shock of someone ignoring him, disrespecting him, and throwing fucking shurikens at him.

"So…"the silver haired man began, "Are you like a ninja or..."

"Stop talking to me," the receptionist said, sounding bored.

Sephiroth scowled. Why couldn't this guy be like Tseng? The Turk had willingly offered his virginity to him and yet this guy didn't even want him to speak.

The general stared at the dark haired man and crossed his arms. He was pissed but highly amused. As difficult at the moody receptionist was being, he only considered this a minor setback. He was pretty confident he would have the man bent over his desk sometime this week.

"For a receptionist you're not very helpful or welcoming," Sephiroth said. When he went ignored, he kept talking.

"Do you always have ninja stuff with you?"

Another pause. Sephiroth smirked.

"You're pretty sexy for a psycho ninja receptionist. I would ask if you're taken but it doesn't matter," he said cockily. Whatever Sephiroth wanted, Sephiroth would eventually get.

The man ignored him of course, but Sephiroth was having fun now.

The elevator rang, and Sephiroth was greeted with the sight of Rufus Shinra being followed by "that blond kid". Rufus smirked at Sephiroth as he approached and the general wanted nothing more than to hit him in his smug mouth. He didn't like Rufus. He thought the youth was an annoying brat that liked having fun playing with his daddy's toys, not that he minded the break.

"Hi Sephiroth," the VP said confidently. He glanced at the shurikens embedded into the wall and looked at the receptionist.

"I see you've met Jing-Xu," Rufus said humorously. "He's our undercover head of security on this floor."

Sephiroth fixed his glare at the smirking "receptionist".

"You could have said something asshole," he bit out.

Rufus signaled for Sephiroth to follow him and the blond kid into the room that would serve as a temporary office. The place was already fully furnished and much brighter than Rufus' office in Shinra. The walls were a soft blue and the furniture was mostly white. From the thirtieth floor, the view of the city was quite nice.

The general took a seat in one of the armchairs across from the large desk situated in the center of the room. Rufus gestured for the blond kid to take a seat in the big chair behind the desk and he did so reluctantly. It was almost comical to see the small cadet sitting behind that massive desk.

"It suits you, Cloud," Rufus said with a smirk.

Cloud didn't respond, but Sephiroth could tell he was uncomfortable.

Rufus placed a series of documents in front of the younger blond and handed him a pen.

"I need you to sign wherever you see an x mark," he informed.

"What's this for?" the cadet asked.

"Just sign it!" he snapped. Not wanting to deal with Rufus' temper, especially without Tseng being present, he signed his name on the documents. Once he was finished, Rufus scanned through the documents to make sure everything was in order. The VP signed and dated the last paper before he signaled for Sephiroth to come over. The general rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"What the fuck do you need me for?"

"Just get over here and sign the damn thing!" Rufus snapped.

"I'm not signing a fucking thing you prick," Sephiroth retorted.

"I need you to sign as a witness, so just do it or you'll be working for free until my old man wakes up!"

Sephiroth grumbled as he reluctantly walked over to where the two blonds were. Cloud tensed up as the general walked over and turned his head slightly. Rufus noticed his apprehension and suddenly laced his fingers into the boy's spiky blond locks and yanked his head up.

"You're the president now…legally. You have all the power in the world and you will not cower in front of the…help," Rufus said as he glanced over in Sephiroth's direction. Cloud grit his teeth at the pain of having his hair pulled but he was still too embarrassed to look at the general. The man he'd idolized for the past three years. But Rufus wasn't having it. He yanked Cloud up by his hair and the boy rose to his feet.

"Look at him," the VP whispered into the cadet's ear. "Legally he's yours now and you rank above him."

Cloud didn't want to, but he forced himself to look up at the General who was just finishing writing his signature. Sephiroth placed the pen down and looked up to see the cadet's startling blue eyes fixed on him. Rufus had the poor kid by the spikes and was holding him firm.

"See, Cloud," the older blond began, "As the new president you can't be afraid to look your greatest weapon in the eye."

Cloud felt lightheaded. Direct eye contact with your greatest hero was a bit much for him.

"You're a sadistic asshole, Shinra," Sephiroth said before he broke eye contact with the young blond.

Rufus released Cloud's hair and the boy fell back into the chair.

The vice president chuckled darkly before he faced the nervous cadet again.

"Well, Mr. President, what's your first plan of action?"

A sneeze…then a sniffle, brought him back to consciousness. He was aware that he was lying on something incredibly soft and plush. The room was slightly chilly but not unbearably so. He blinked once, then again as his eyes slowly adjusted to the light. He turned his head to where he had heard the sneeze and was surprised to see Reno casually lounged across a chair. The redhead gave a menacing smile.

"Ya up, Tsengy?"

The Turk sat up slowly and glanced around the room. He was in a large bedroom, but clearly this wasn't his room in the condo. If Reno hadn't been here he might have been more worried about waking up in a strange place.

"Where am I?" he asked.

Reno popped off the couch and plopped into bed next to the head Turk.

"You're still on the set. We just put ya here to rest a bit. You had quite the scare," Reno smirked.

"The set?" repeated the dazed Turk. Why would he be on a set? He tried to think but nothing was coming to him.

"Need something to jog your memory?" the sly Turk asked. Reno sat up on his knees in bed and started to unbuckle his pants, very slowly.

"Anything yet?" the redhead asked. When Tseng still looked confused, he kept going. He undid the last button on his slacks and slid them down his hips.

"Reno, what are you…"

"Just keep looking yo. You'll get it."

Reno grinned as he exposed his navy blue boxer briefs to the man across from him. Tseng looked away, disturbed by the sight. How the hell was this supposed to help him remember anything?

"Hey!"Reno snapped. "Keep your eyes on me."

"You are undressing yourself," Tseng stated.

"I know but trust me. It will help."

Tseng reluctantly turned to face his tormentor and was met with the sight of Reno's exposed private parts, red pubes and all.

"Reno! What in the world are…"

And then it all came rushing back to him. The three young girly boys, the details of his job as a fluffer and Rude's massive…

In that moment the door opened to reveal the owner of said unmentionables. Rude stumbled upon the disturbing sight of Reno exposing himself to Tseng and the dark haired Turk was just sitting there…staring.

"Reno, what the fuck is going on here?"

The redhead pulled up his boxers and slacks. "Bossman was having trouble remembering before the fall so I just gave him a refresher."

"So, you showed him your dick…to remind him of the horror he tried to block out?"

"Yup!" Reno boasted.

"Why didn't you just tell him what happened!" Rude said, raising his voice slightly.

"And miss the opportunity to show the boss my little red monster? Not a chance Rude, not a chance."

Rude scowled at his partner's stupidity and walked over to Tseng. He didn't want to face the man but he knew he would have to eventually so why prolong the inevitable. He stood beside the bed and looked down at the Turk.

"Are you okay Tseng?" he asked concerned.

Tseng nodded, but wouldn't look up at the man. How could he face Rude after seeing…that!

"You traumatized the boss forever with that bigass dick of yours Rude," Reno jested.

"Shut up," Rude retorted, but his partner was probably right. He'd never seen the man act like this…almost as if here were scared.

Wanting to make sure Tseng was really okay, he touched the man's shoulder and the reaction was immediate. Tseng smacked his hand and pulled the covers up over his head.

Rude frowned. Reno laughed.

"Aww, he's hiding under the covers!" The redhead teased.

Tseng could feel them staring at him from under the thick comforter he took refuge in. He wasn't scared of Rude; he just didn't want them to see how embarrassed he was. He almost preferred them having to think he was scared than nervous. Besides Rude and Veld, most people didn't know he was a virgin or that he had virtually no sexual experience whatsoever. So being exposed to so many sexual parts in one day was overwhelming.

He cursed Rufus for putting him in this situation but he was Turk. Second only to Veld and he had a job to do. He sighed under the covers before he pulled the blanket down. He sat up and looked at Rude who was situated by the door.

"Rude, what do we have to do today?" he asked evenly.

The bald Turk smirked. It seemed Tseng was getting back to his old restrictive self again and that was a good sign.

"We have to…"

Before Rude could get the next word out, he became aware of the sneaky redhead behind him. Reno quickly grabbed the sides of his pants and yanked them down along with his boxers.

Tseng's eyes went wide before they rolled back into his head and he fainted. Reno dropped to the floor, holding his sides in laughter.

Rude quickly pulled his pants up and rushed over to his boss. The man was out cold.

"Reno you asshole! I brought you here to help me," he growled.

"Seriously dude. You thought that I would be the best choice for this? I can't believe he passes out every time he sees it!"

Rude had no one to blame but himself in that sense. He sighed, and grasped Tseng by his shoulders before giving him a rough shake. The dark haired one came out if it with a jolt and lunged forward, colliding into Rude and knocking them both off the bed. When Tseng opened his eyes again, he was met with the sight of his reflection in dark shades.

He had fallen on top of Rude and they were staring at each other face to face.

"That's kinda hot you guys," Reno smirked.

Tseng tried to pull back but some of his hair was caught underneath Rude's body. Just then, Use walked in and took in the sight. He nodded his head in approval of the long haired man on top of his star actor.

"Very nice you guys, but we gotta get moving. We have to film at least half of the production today in order to be on time so let's get going. Head to wardrobe and Tseng get him ready for the first scene. I need him to be exceptionally hard." The greasy man said with a lick of his lips. He took one last look at the sight before he shuffled off.

"Get off my hair," Tseng ordered.

"Sorry." Rude lifted up and Tseng was able to break free.

Reno was giddy as he followed the two men to the room being used as a makeshift dressing room. He was glad Rude had called; otherwise he would have missed this!

The three Turks arrived at the room where a young lady was waiting. She quickly dressed selected an outfit for Rude and the man changed behind a curtain.

"Ya nervous, Tseng," Reno asked. They were sitting on a couch waiting for the star to emerge.

Tseng didn't respond. Reno draped his arm around his comrade and pulled him in closer.

"Don't worry. I'll show you how to get him hard," he whispered deeply into the other Turk's ear. Tseng turned his head in order to hide the color change in his face. Reno liked how Tseng was completely out of his element and was having trouble hiding it behind his usual stone mask.

Rude finally came out from behind the curtain and was dressed in a nice, yet form fitting suit.

"You look great!" the lady said before she turned to Tseng. "You have five minutes to get him ready for the first scene."

She shut the door after she left and Reno popped up from his seat.

"Well, we only got five minutes which should be more than enough time," the redhead said, clearly enjoying how tense it was in the room.

When no one moved, the redhead shook his head.

"Come on Tseng. I said I'd show you how. You don't even have to do anything this time. Just watch."

At that, Tseng looked up and watched Reno approach Rude. The man in shades raised a questioning brow as his partner got closer.

"What are you doing?" he asked hesitantly.

"I'm just gonna show him how to get you excited," he smirked as he pressed his lean form against Rude's solid body. He wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled Rude's head down a bit.

"Come on Rude don't be so nervous. This ain't nothing, babe," he whispered into the taller man's ear.

"Shut the hell up," Rude replied. Reno chuckled before he pressed his lips against his partner's. He kissed him softly, and let one of his hands drop to Rude's waist. He slipped his hands underneath the man's suit jacket and settled it on his waist. Rude been kissed by Reno several times when the redhead was incredibly drunk, but this was different. They were both sober and making out in front of their leader. He didn't think he would even be able to get an erection in this situation when Reno's hand slipped down to his crotch. With his nimble fingers, he undid the man's zipper.

"Don't worry Tseng, nothing's gonna slip out," he said before he went back to invading Rude's mouth.

Tseng watched in horrified fascination as Reno's hand dove into Rude's pants. The redhead even managed to get the man to let out a soft moan. Reno smirked as he felt Rude begin to stir underneath his massaging hand.

"There you are big boy," he smirked as he felt it harden.

"Reno, shut up," Rude managed to say, even though he found himself bucking into his partner's touch. When redheaded Turk felt he was at full mast, he slipped his hand out and zipped up the man's pants.

"Ya see Tseng," he began, "It's that easy."

"I see," was all the dark haired man said; his expression slightly grim.

There was a knock on the door followed by a voice that said they needed Rude now. The man took a deep breath before he headed for the exit, not looking back at either of them, especially Tseng. He opened the door and left quickly, shutting it behind him.

Reno turned his attention to his boss who sat on the sofa with a worried look on his face. The redhead walked over and stood in front of the man.

"Hey. You're going to do fine. In fact, Rude has a preference for dark hair and large breasts so one out of two ain't bad."

"Reno, please stop talking."

Reno could see how distressed the man was even though he was trying to hide it.

"Ok how about this. I'll cover you for today, but you gotta do something for me."

"What do I have to do?" Tseng said, hoping he wouldn't regret his decision.

"Can you grade a few papers for me?" he said, giving the man a soft smile.

Tseng felt as if a weight was lifted off his chest and he returned Reno's smile with a small one of his own.

"Yes, I can do that."