Chapter 10

Hurt

A/N: Thank you so very much for all the reviews! I LOVE reading them; it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! I know it took me forever to post, and I'm very sorry, but now it's March break! I hope I'll find enough time to post more quickly for all my faithful reviewers out there!! Anyway, thankies!

Disclaimer: The fictional universe I constantly try to create may be mine, but Edward Cullen never will be… sob (stars don't work)

Edward's POV

Alice had always been hard for me to understand. Her thoughts never represented what she was really thinking and she always acted weird at the worst times. This was no exception. Why on Earth would she skip out of my room hardly managing to cover up a smile? Of all things. Her thoughts weren't sad, or sympathetic, either. On the contrary, they were neutral. All I had heard in her mind was stuff like wondering how their next house would be, if she'd get the best room and a future shopping spree.

Then it caught up to me. She knew how the next house would look like. She knew if she'd get the best bedroom. She knew what she'd get her next time out. I sighed. The only thing that could mean was that she was hiding something from me. Again. Frustration swept through me like a wave. I groaned and stood up.

My thoughts drifted away, and finally settled on Bella. In my mind I clearly saw her delicate features, her innocent expression and her cute tendency to stumble upon a flat surface, or her words. I chuckled. It cut off short though, when I felt the sudden pain that seared through my body.

Never before had I experienced such pain. It was almost physical, but not quite. It felt kind of like fire, but even if I'd had ice, it wouldn't have been soothed. I writhed in pain on the floor, growling.

Alice suddenly appeared at the door, but I paid her no heed. The scalding pain wouldn't relent.

"Edward! Oh, what's wrong?" She kneeled down beside my burning body.

I didn't talk to her, or even glimpse at her. Suddenly, the pain switched abruptly. In no way did it stop hurting, but it was altogether a different sort. Instead of a burning, scalding pain, it was more of an electric, jolting pain. I gasped, fighting for breath. A breath I didn't actually need.

Cold sweat pearled on my face. Alice was frantically running a cool cloth on my skin. I shivered.

"Damn! I should've known! Stupid me!" Alice kept on grumbling but her voice became a background drone.

"Alice. Alice, stop. Go… Away." Somehow I managed to get the words out. Nothing she did would help. I knew that as surely as I knew that I'd never see Bella again.

She stopped what she was doing and stared at me, trying to understand. The, she got up and left, figuring it would be best.

Minutes seemed like hours as I lay on the cool ground, twisting in agony. After a seemingly endless eternity, the electricity somewhat relented. Then, gradually it stopped. I didn't attempt to move, for fear it would begin again. When I grew certain it wouldn't I cautiously pushed myself up with my arm.

Questions tumbled through my head. What had triggered this? Would it happen again? Why would it hurt me? All of them, I knew, would stay unanswered.

I made my way to the stairs. We would have to go now. Leave Forks, and Bella, behind forever. In the time I had writhed on the floor, something had occurred to me. Staying here would make me suffer. Leaving more so, but in the long run, if I knew Bella would be happy, I'd manage to be happy also. So, the sooner we left the better…

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Bella's POV

The promise I made to Charlie proved to be harder than expected. In no way did I want to socialize. What was the point? I was sure nobody would want to be with me anymore; I was a real zombie these days. I didn't care for anything, or anybody. So the weeks passed, slowly at first, and gradually blurring by faster and faster as they turned into months.

For the most part, I stayed out of Charlie's way; and lied about my relationships with my friends. I would never tell him the real facts. As it was, he wasn't particularly happy about the grades I produced. I was only just barely passing my classes.

One morning, as I was readying myself for school, I stumbled upon the old photograph of Edward. It had been carelessly lying on the floor for a number of months. I gazed at it, my eyes brimming with tears, and I felt my heart rip open. I rushed out of my room before I could concentrate on it any longer.

I couldn't even permit myself to think of any memories, because I knew it would hurt dreadfully. Never had I picked up the picture, for I knew the awful events of that day would mercilessly catch up on me.

I hurried through breakfast, trying to keep my mind off of him, and made it to school early. This was a bad thing, because now I did have time to think about him. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold together the empty hole inside of my being.

I sat in my truck for a long while, and only got out when I saw the lot begin to fill with students. Gratefully, I stepped out of my old red Chevy.

As I walked toward my class, I realized that Mike didn't run up to me anymore. I never thought I think this but I actually wished even Mike would want to see me. I sighed. I wasn't surprised; who would want to be friends with a freaking zombie?

The day crawled along uneventfully. I barely listened to the classes the teachers were giving; what did it matter if I flunked my school year?

By the end of the day, I thankfully plopped down on my car seat, and revved the ignition. I slowly drove home, taking all my time. Only bad memories would flood me from the moment I stepped inside the house.

Unfortunately, in the end I did have to go inside. Busying myself with Charlie's supper helped keep my mind off of everything. I was hopelessly bored with this routine, but wasn't life just that, a boring routine?

When Charlie came home, I had already served supper, and we ate in silence. I was very grateful for that; it was a good thing that Charlie didn't feel the need to fill every silence with words.

We exchanged a couple of comments about the weather, and then I went about cleaning the kitchen, while he went to watch the latest football match.

After scrubbing the pots and pans, I reluctantly made my way upstairs to take a shower. I didn't feel relief when I showered anymore, now it was simply an obligation. I turned on the hot water and let it run for a minute before stepping in. I shivered. The hot cold transitions never were easy for me.

After hurriedly rubbing a towel through my soaking hair I walked to my room and dressed into some old holey pajamas. I rummaged through my drawers to find my CD player; it always managed to hide from me.

However, it wasn't the CD player that I found first; it was the old picture of him. I gasped. I had never allowed myself to marvel at his god-like beauty after he left. But now, I didn't have the choice. The scrap of paper drew me to him like a magnet. Slowly, carefully, I picked it up and carried it to my bed.

On my bed, for the first time in months, I just stared. I allowed my bruised up soul to go over every aspect of him. His beautiful liquid topaz eyes, straight aquiline nose and softer, full lips. I imagined those very same lips cool on my forehead. I let my mind wander to all the gentle words they had uttered. I relived all the moments that had created my very own heaven.

It wasn't heaven I felt though, it was hell. In a way, I knew that I would feel some pain, but this was like something I never would've expected. An excruciating fire seared through me. Not only did my heart rip open again, but I would've sworn blood gushed from it.

I wrapped my arms around myself, hoping to extinguish the fire, or whatever was burning up inside of me. I rolled over on my bed, tossing and turning, grimacing with inexplicable pain.

I bitterly regretted letting my thoughts drift to him. It had been the worst mistake of my short life. But maybe it had been worth it. It had given me the time to refresh my memory. And anyway, who cared for pain? It had been all I had felt since he left me. It was better than being numb, right?

Abruptly, the searing pain changed. It was no longer the burning ripping fire, but an altogether different one. It hurt just as much, but vaguely more familiar. Now, where had I experienced it?

I felt incessant electricity zapping through me. I could feel it pounding in my blood, beating in my veins. I ignored the excruciating pain, and concentrated on where I had felt something somewhat familiar to it. Hurt as it might, it was actually reassuring. As if I could feel some connection to him. I sighed, and let myself melt into it, or him?

Too soon, the pain stopped, and Edward left me, again. It's a wonder I welcomed it, for the only thing it represented was his leaving. But I guess I welcomed anything that was somehow related to him.

I let myself sink onto my mattress again, and letting my mind wander to him. I accepted the pain it caused me, and enjoyed it. Anything to know he's somewhere, that I hadn't dreamed him up.

I picked up the picture Alice had given to me. What had she said? This will save you? Well, I guess it kind of did, in a way. But shouldn't there be more to it?

I gazed at the picture for a long while. I let the tears flow freely, and drip silently on the paper. I remembered the evil vampire witch. She had something to do with this. She had after all, played with Edward's heart. I sobbed silently, emptying my body of every single drop of water it possessed.

Then, as the picture blurred up, and faded away, I would've sworn I felt an electric jolt…

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A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to post such a short chapter. I've been having Internet problems… Grrr… Anyway, I know it's short, but it's hard to have long chapters when there is virtually no action, or no specific goal to it. Thanks a lot to all of you who read and review, it's VERY appreciated!