Alistair was playing with his children when Amell approached him. His Amell. Beautiful as always but for some reason wearing her old mage's robes. He hadn't seen her in a mage robe in years, not since they had escaped the tower. Amell had a strange look on her face as she stared at him.
"What is wrong, my love?" he asked. She looked like he had slapped her. Her eyes held unshed tears and all he wanted to do was reassure her.
"Alistair, this isn't real."
"What are you talking about?"
"We are in the fade. A demon put us here. Think. Think hard Alistair. How did you get here?"
"We fled the tower and I brought you here. You married me and we had children. Look at our children."
"Oh." The tears started to flow out of her eyes. "Oh Alistair. I'm so sorry."
He wanted to go to her but their oldest was holding his hand, holding him back. "That's not mommy," he said.
"What? Or course it is."
Without warning another woman approached, one that looked exactly like Amell. This Amell looked familiar, wearing an apron and carrying a small babe on her hip. "Don't listen to her, my love," she said to him. "We are happy. Don't leave you family."
Now he was confused. There were two of them and both were saying different things. His head started to hurt. He grasped at it, rubbing his temples with his fingers. It seemed so clear and yet there were no details. He knew the script but couldn't live it.
"Alistair, this isn't real. It's a demon."
He looked at the other Amell, the impostor Amell, the one that was trying to take his family away from him. "But we are happy, aren't we, Amell?" He stared into her familiar blue eyes and saw the truth. The truth he didn't want to see.
His wife reached for him, pulling on his tunic. "Don't leave us. Please Alistair. This is what you want. I can make you happy. There is nothing for you out there."
His heart broke as he turned from the fake Amell, his wife Amell, the mother of his children and walked away.
Fake Amell screamed and attacked him with claws that developed out of nowhere. The children attacked him, clawing at his legs with a viciousness that stunned him. He was powerless to stop them. How could he raise his hand against his family, even if they weren't real?
Amell had no problem destroying each one. He broke down, falling to his knees. His family dissolved, revealing their true nature but it didn't help. He had lost something. He couldn't move. Amell bent down and put her arms around him. "I am so sorry," she whispered into his ear.
He held her and cried until there was nothing left. Then he cleared his throat and stood up. "Let's find the others," he said, finally in control again. "Let's get out of this hell."
# # # # #
Once free from the fade, the four of them made it to the chamber right before the Harrowing chamber. This was where she found the templar on his knees praying. As she got closer she recognized him. It was Cullen. Cullen was alive. She rushed over to him and examined the barrier erected around him. She wanted to touch him, to know that he was real, but the barrier stood between them.
"I've never seen magic like this," Wynne warned.
"This trick again? I know what you are. It won't work. I will stay strong," Cullen said, now standing. His eyes were hard. The warmth completely sucked out.
"Cullen! Don't you recognize me?"
"Only too well. How far they must have delved into my thoughts. Enough visions. If anything in you is human kill me now and stop this game."
She reached out and touched the barrier that separated them. He flinched back.
"Don't touch me. Stay away. Sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have. Using my shame against me. My ill-advised infatuation with her, a mage of all things. I am so tired of these cruel jokes, these tricks, these…" his voice broke and the sound of it broke her. They had used her, her face, to torture him. The very thought sickened her. She already knew some of what the demons were capable, what they could summon, what you desired. What had they done to him?
"This is no trick. We're here to help."
"Silence. I will not listen to anything you say. Now begone." Cullen closed his eyes and she waited for him to open them again, staying quiet. He needed to know that it was really her. "Still here? But that's always worked before. I close my eyes, but you are still here when I open them."
"I'm real and I'm here to help you." Please believe me, she wanted to beg. But with Wynne, Petra and Alistair there she needed to temper her words lest she let her true feelings be known. And that would be a true disaster.
"Don't blame me for being cautious. The voices… the images… so real. Why are you here? How did you survive?"
"By killing everything that stood in my way."
"Good… kill Uldred. Kill all of them for what they've done. They caged us like animals looking for ways to break us. I'm the only one left. Some turned into monsters and there was nothing I could do." He sounded like he was going to break down again and she desperately wanted to hold him, to comfort him. But by the look of him, he'd rebuke her, maybe even hurt her. The thought of him being turned into someone that would hurt her made her blood boil.
"You must stay strong."
"And to think I once thought we were too hard on you."
"We're not all evil, Cullen."
"Only mages have that much power at their fingertips. Only mages are so susceptible to the infernal whispers of the demons. They are in the Harrowing chamber. The sounds coming up from there… oh Maker…" His voice broke again. "You can't save them. You don't know what they've become."
"I'm a mage too, Cullen."
"But you haven't been up there. You haven't been under their influence. They've been surrounded by blood mages whose wicked fingers snake into your mind and corrupt your thoughts. You have to end it now before it's too late."
"I want to save everyone who can possibly be saved."
"Are you really saving anyone by taking this risk? To ensure this horror is ended… to guarantee that no abominations or blood mages live you must kill everyone up there." What they had to do to him to turn sweet, gentle Cullen into this, it made her sick. No matter how passionately he believed in his cause she couldn't just slaughter innocents.
"I'd rather spare maleficarum than risk harming an innocent."
"Thank you for being rational," Wynne said, putting her hand on Amell's shoulder.
"Rational? How is this rational? Do you understand the danger? You know nothing. I'm thinking about the future of the circle. Of Ferelden."
"I don't want the blood of innocents on my hands."
"I am just willing to see the painful truth which you are content to ignore." His voice held nothing but venom. "But what can I do? As you can see, I am in no position to directly influence your actions, though I would love to deal with the mages myself."
"Perhaps I can free you."
"Is that wise?" Alistair asked, speaking for the first time since they entered the chamber.
"Don't waste time on me. Deal with Uldred if that is what you plan to do. Once he is dead, I will be freed."
"Stay safe. It will be over soon." She tried to soothe him with her words but he was too far gone.
"No one ever listens. Not until it far too late. Maker turn his gaze on you. I hope your compassion hasn't doomed us all."
Leaving him was one of the hardest things she had to do, but Uldred needed to be dealt with. And deal with him she did. The battle was hard fought, she nearly lost Alistair to the abomination that used to be Uldred but in the end they conquered. Breathless, she went to where the first enchanter was seated. There was blood on his face but he looked otherwise uninjured.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
"Yes child. I thank you."
"We must return to Greagoir and let him know the nightmare is over.
# # # # #
Cullen followed Amell and her group in silence. Among them were the mages that they supposedly rescued. If he had a sword, he would have cut them all down. Amell included. How could she be so blind? Sparing them, letting them trick her into believing that they weren't corrupted. He knew better. And he would convince Knight Commander Greagoir of the continued danger.
She kept looking back at him, sadness in her eyes. She pitied him. He didn't want her pity. Couldn't stand her pity. He wanted to yell at her, shake her until she understood. But he wouldn't, couldn't, go near her. Alistair also kept looking back at him, not pity in his eyes. Something else. Something darker. He wanted to go to his friend until he remembered they were no longer friends. He had sided with her. He couldn't see the danger either. He was bewitched. Poor fool.
They reached the bottom of the tower and the First Enchanter convinced Greagoir to open the door.
"The tower has been cleansed. Uldred is dead and so is his blood mages. It's over," Amell told Greagoir. The Irving only nodded when Greagoir turned to him.
He couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Uldred tortured these mages, hoping to break their wills and turn them into abominations. We don't know how many have turned."
"Turned? None of us have turned," Irving voiced, sounding a bit scandalized.
"Of course he'd say that. He might be a blood mage."
"I am not a blood mage."
"Enough Ser Cullen."
"But they may have demons inside of them, lying dormant, lying in wait. Don't you know what they did? I won't allow this to happen again."
"Stand down, Cullen. That's an order."
So the Knight Commander was blind as well. He had done his duty. The consequences were on his head now.
"Cullen please. I know you've been through a lot but these mages aren't to blame," Amell said, her voice soft, pleading almost.
"All mages are dangerous. You're a mage. You're just as dangerous," he muttered, unsure if she even heard him. Seeing the look on her face, she had. She looked hurt. But it was a trick. Who knew what had happened to her on her way up the tower. Perhaps she was corrupted as well. Perhaps if he turned his back, she would attack and destroy them all. He shook his head. He just couldn't trust her, couldn't trust any of them. Why was the Knight Commander so blind?
Greagoir and Irving had walked away from them leaving Cullen standing alone. He liked being alone. So when she approached him, looking nervous like a mouse, he sighed unhappily. He didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to see her. He didn't want the temptation, the reminder of his failures, shoved in his face. So before she could even speak he turned on his heel and left her standing there staring after him.