A/N: Had to make a quick update to Chapter 8, because I messed up with the time sequence. I had originally written that the club night was the night before the concert, but it turned out to be the day of the flight. Oooops! Anyway, I fixed it so future readers don't get confused, and I'm letting current readers know here. So long story short: The Club was the same night of the flight, Jesse's performance is the day after the next.
The next day, Rachel and Kurt traveled all over Los Angeles to sight see. They took hundreds of pictures together, fully intending on adding them to their facebook pages when they returned to their hotel that evening. Kurt updated pictures of him and Rachel, fully decked out in club clothes the night before. According to Mercedes, Finn wasn't happy that she was "tramping around" Los Angeles the way she was dressed. Kurt decided not to tell this to Rachel, because hearing about Finn was the last thing that she needed right now.
When the dynamic duo settled themselves in an outdoor café for lunch, he brought up the topic of the mystery guy's UCLA show. Rachel took a long sip of her lemon water before answering. She was intentionally drawing out her response to increase the suspense.
"Yes, we're going." she finally replied.
"Rachel Berry, you're absolutely beaming. I can't wait." said Kurt, unrolling his utensils from his napkin.
Rachel danced in her seat.
"Have you heard from Blaine?" she asked.
Kurt blushed.
"Yes, actually. He made it into New Directions—"
"No surprise there." Rachel said.
"—and he's actually choreographing a few numbers for our competition. It should be good."
"Do you think that we'll be able to pick up on the steps with the time that we're missing?" Rachel asked with concern.
"He already offered to give us extra lessons so we don't fall behind. He's just so…"
"Amazing." Rachel said with a smile.
That was as much conversation on New Directions as time could allow, because their food had arrived. Rachel ordered a veggie burger and a Kurt ordered a grilled chicken wrap. In the middle of the meal, Kurt had a thought, but he didn't know if it was wise to bring it up. After a few more bites of his wrap, he decided it would be best if he did.
"Rachel, there's something we really didn't think about." he finally said.
Rachel looked up and scrunched her nose, as if to ask "what?" while she chewed.
"Well, the show that this guy is performing at is in UCLA, right?" he paused as she nodded. "I'd hate to bring him up, but didn't you say that Jesse got a full ride at UCLA?"
Rachel stopped chewing and her eyes widened. She nodded a really small nod.
"Well he's probably a theatre major, right?"
Rachel swallowed hard and smacked her forehead. She was still silent.
"I don't want to give you any reason not to go, but… what if he's IN the show?" he asked.
"Oh my God." Rachel finally said. "How did I not think of that? I could actually run into him there! What if he see's me? What if he says something? What if he tells the masked guy that I'm this terrible person. What if—"
"Rachel you're thinking too much. I shouldn't have brought it up. Do you really think that Jesse St. James would take part in a show that revolves around Taylor Swift music?" he asked.
"You're right. He'd think he's too good for that sort of thing." Rachel reasoned.
"If anything, I wouldn't be surprised if he dropped out and moved to New York to audition. He probably thinks he knows everything he needs to know about acting and school is just a waste of his time and energy." said Kurt, rolling his eyes.
Rachel was off in another world. She was thinking about Jesse again. It only hit her now that she was in his area. She could run into him at any time. For all she knew, she may have been two feet away from him at the club. She looked around at the rest of the restaurant customers for any sign of him.
"But Rachel, supposing you do run into him tomorrow night. How would you feel?" asked Kurt.
She didn't know what to say. Part of her really wanted to see him and see how he was doing. The same part of her wanted him to see that she was doing great without him. The other part would rather not see him because she had a feeling that if she did, she'd hit him.
"I have no idea." She replied. "I won't lie. Deep down inside, I still have feelings for him. But there's also a place inside that is still hurt for what he did to me. Both of those feelings so strong that it's almost impossible for one side to overpower the other."
Kurt rested his chin on his hand.
"Do you still want to go?" he asked.
Rachel thought for a second.
"That guy last night was just so special. I don't know him, but I just know that I need to see him again." She thought again. "If fate just so happens to make Jesse pop up again then maybe I'll get some closure."
"But what if he wants you back?"
Rachel laughed.
"After the egging, I highly doubt that." she frowned.
Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"What if the mystery guy AND Jesse want you?"
Rachel sunk her head into her hands. "I don't know" she mumbled through them.
Kurt smiled.
"Well either way, tomorrow is going to be pretty interesting…"
That night, Rachel had trouble falling asleep because she couldn't stop thinking about the guy from the club and Jesse. She imagined a hundred alternate scenarios. The first one had her choosing the mystery guy as Jesse watched in agony. The second had Jesse swooping her off her feet in a grand apology. The third had them both fighting over her. She could also be wasting her time, because there was a chance that Jesse wouldn't be there at all. Kurt was right, his ego was too big to be a part of this sort of thing. She couldn't tell if she was happy or sad by the thought. She closed her eyes and thought up a hundred more scenarios before finally falling asleep.
Time flew by the next day, and Rachel found herself running late on her way to the show. She spent hours trying to perfect her outfit, while Kurt tried out multiple hairstyles for her. They finally settled with a strapless green dress that looked amazing with her skin tone. Her dark hair was softly waved on her shoulders. She completed the look with a pair of emerald green pumps.
"Kurt, I feel so tall!" she laughed as they walked out of suite room.
They linked arms and strolled down to the hotel lobby together to catch a cab to the show. Employees stopped and stared at the pair because of how good they looked. Rachel was breathtaking in her green dress, and Kurt was incredibly sharp in his designer suit and matching fedora.
"Do you think we're overdressed for a college production?" asked Rachel as they stepped into their taxi.
They both laughed.
The box office was packed with people picking up their last minute tickets. When Rachel reached the front of the line, the lights were flashing for the guests to get to their seats.
"Name?" asked the ticket girl.
"Ra—"
Kurt cleared his throat.
"Abigail Jones." said Rachel quickly.
The ticket girl passed Rachel an envelope that contained two tickets, a note, and a clip on rose. Rachel pulled out the note and read it out loud.
" "Abigail",
I pulled some strings and got you two tickets in the front row. I hope you like it and can spot me out easily. I'm playing a pretty big part and get to sing in a lot of songs. But if you still can't spot me out, find me after the show at the stage door. I'll be wearing a red rose on my shirt, I've enclosed one for you.
Can't wait to see sparks fly when you smile.
-?"
Rachel immediately clipped the rose to her dress and ran into the theatre to take her seat. Kurt ran after her, clutching the programs. They reached their seats, but froze when they heard the screaming. The audience stood up and cheered and applauded for someone on the balcony. Rachel and Kurt looked up and their jaws dropped.
"Is that Taylor Swift?" asked Kurt in excitement.
His idea was confirmed when the blonde in the balcony waved back to the crowd and threw up her famous hand heart. Rachel screamed in excitement and joined the crowd as they copied the hand heart. The lights started flashing again to remind the audience to take their seats. They took their seats front row, center and Kurt started to skim the program. He reached the cast list and looked up in horror.
"Rachel!"
"Not now, it's starting!" Rachel whispered as the lights started to dim.
"Rachel you really need to see this!" he whispered loudly.
"SHH!"
The show started with a fantastic number that focused around a blonde Taylor Swift look-a-like singing "A Place In This World". Rachel mouthed the words along with the song in excitement. A cute guy with perfect hair danced around in the background for a group number. "Maybe that's him!" Rachel whispered to Kurt. She adored every part of the show until the guy playing the protagonist's love interest stepped on stage.
Her heart stopped instantly when she saw him. He stood there, dressed in fitted jeans and a tucked in red and blue three quarter sleeve plaid shirt. His hair was even more perfect than she remembered. It was lightly waved and begged to be touched. His face was serious, as he played a breakup scene with the main character. Despite the seriousness, his face was incredibly handsome. Rachel turned to look over at Kurt and saw him pointing to the cast list in the program. Rachel's jaw dropped when she read the name. Kurt nudged her, his eyes back on the stage.
Rachel turned her head and saw him standing at the edge of the stage, right in front of her. He lowered himself, and sat with his legs dangling off the stage. He was close enough to touch. Close enough to see her face clearly from where he sat. There was obviously no mistake in who it was.
"Jesse!" Rachel whispered.
For a few quick seconds, it appeared as though he had broken character. He stared at her, without blinking. Slowly, he looked her up and down, and focused on the rose on her dress for a few seconds. Rachel didn't notice this. His eyes softened as he looked up at her face again. Being the professional that he is though, he immediately snapped back into character and returned to the show. The rest of the audience failed to notice this moment, but Rachel and Kurt looked at each other in shock.
The rest of the show seemed to move incredibly slowly. Rachel tried to pay attention to the story, but she couldn't help but follow Jesse around with her eyes. She wondered what he was thinking because he definitely saw her. Her mind was flashing through the entire relationship she had with Jesse, from the meeting at the music store, straight up until the egging. She shut her eyes as she remembered the humiliation she felt. She opened her eyes and wiped away a few tears.
She thought of the mystery guy and how good he made her feel inside. She couldn't spend much time thinking about him, because Jesse had taken the stage again. He walked over to a piano and sat down seriously. Rachel could swear that he looked her in the eyes for a few seconds with a pained expression. He started playing as synthetic snow started to fall around him. His voice was so full of emotion.
"I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why
Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die"
At this point, he was looking her dead in the eye. Rachel started to wonder if this song had another meaning for him right now.
"So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time"
Rachel felt her heart soften as she teared up.
"These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye"
Her heart hardened. She flashed back to the egging and remembered the anger on his face as he smashed his egg on top of her. She replayed him walking away from her in her mind. Suddenly she was enraged.
"So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time"
He played the song so beautifully, but Rachel was so torn inside. She couldn't pick between anger or forgiveness. She needed more time. The next part of the song didn't help in her pain either.
"I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
He stared Rachel in the eye.
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door I understand"
Suddenly, Rachel forgot where she was and found herself standing in the crowd staring at him. Without thinking, she started singing.
"But it's too late to apologize! It's too late!
It's too late to apologize! It's too late!"
Jesse quickly improvised around Rachel's outburst and continued. There was obvious heartache in his voice, but only Rachel and Kurt knew that it wasn't part of the show. The pain on his face was sincere.
"But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night!"
"It's too late to apologize! It's too late!"
"It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine!"
"It's too late to apologize…it's too late!"
Rachel suddenly realized what was going on, and ran down the aisle and out the back. The audience followed her with their eyes in confusion. She stopped in the doorway to see him finish the song with his eyes still on her.
"I go back to December turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time...
All the time..."
A/N: I came up with this idea after I saw Taylor's performance of Back to December at the American Music Awards. For those who don't know, she mashed up "Back to December" and "Apologize". Check out the video on youtube if you need help picturing it. Read and Review?