A/N: Sorry for the rather long wait between chapter updates. My life got the better of me and my motivation for writting was a bit low - though i managed to finish another chapter in the ones that are missing. So, not all hope is lost.

I put the file from Tank on my desk, seeing the envelope against my keyboard a moment later. Tank had mentioned it when telling me about Stephanie. I assumed this was her last word to me. Her goodbye. I wasn't sure whether I should feel special for not getting it delivered by post but rather by person. I sat down, looking at it, debating whether to open it or not. It wasn't as if I didn't want to, I just wasn't sure what I would find written and everyone knew I hated the uncertain. But with Stephanie everything was sort of uncertain. It was like losing control of everything. Though that was partly because of her ways and partly due to the mayhem and chaos that tended to find her.

Reaching for it, I ripped the envelope open, taking out the neatly folded two pages.

Ranger –

When you are reading this I'll be already long gone. I don't know how much time will have passed between today – when I'm leaving – and the day you are returning back home from your mission, saving the world once more. I'm sorry I can't be there in person, welcoming you back home but… things have happened and I need to go. Apparently there is trouble I can't get myself out of after all. I'm sorry I chose the cowardly way of simply running away but I don't see any other way. I tried listening to everyone I know, my parents, friends, you guys – well at least the ones still around – and Joe, Eddie and Carl, who all said I should trust in the system.

I'm sorry that I found myself at the end of my faith and trust. And I'm sorry that I end up being a disappointment like everyone else has probably always assumed I would. I never managed to see things through til the end – until now. And isn't that ironic?

I'm sorry that I end up being the failure everyone always thought I'd be and end up being. Guess my mother was right after all.

I'm sorry what I did to Cal. I… I really didn't mean to. But I knew he had the power to change my mind and that was the last thing I needed. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. The same goes for the money. I never stole and I never wanted to steal, especially not from friends. I will promise to somehow find a way of paying you back. Every cent. Even for the bail Cal posted to keep me out of prison.

I'm sorry things have to end this way, but I guess it is full circle. We met with me needing your help. And now we part, with me needing your help – or money – one last time. I guess I'm someone else's responsibility from now own. I guess I'm actually responsible for myself now. Without a knight in shining armor (or cargoes) and on a white horse (or an array of Porsches) coming to my rescue. You always said you are no hero, but truth is, you are. If no one else's, you are my hero. You have saved me often enough for all sort of things:

Eviction – by giving me a job to make rent

Bad guys – by giving me protection

Really bad guys – by giving me (involuntarily) shelter

Big Blue – by giving me cars

Myself – by giving me your friendship

So you see… you are more than qualified to be a hero. Maybe a bit tainted and haunted, but nobody's perfect anyway.

I love you. In so many ways. I wish things between us would have ended differently. I wish they would have had a happy end. There are so many things I wish I actually could say to you, in person and not in a letter, even more things I regret not saying, but… I can't change that now, can I?

Thank you for everything. For your time, resources, friendship and most importantly your unshakable faith and encouragement. Of all the people in my life you are probably the only one who always thought I could do better and was good at something.

I'm sorry that I'll need to break that trust and friendship by not only stealing money but also drugging your guys.

For all that matters, I'm really grateful for everything you have done for me over the years, And I mean everything. I love you, and I have for a long time, long before I finally kicked Morelli to the curb.

I'm sorry for everything….

As a last favor, please don't waste your time, resources and guys on me. Don't try to find me, please. I know it is in your nature to go and find me, but please, let me go and don't try finding me. It is better that way.

Stephanie

By the wrinkles in the paper I assumed that Stephanie had not only shed a single tear or two while writing this. And that broke my heart. Apparently in her last hours she was all by herself, and feeling like the option she chose made her the failure people around her kept telling her that she was. I might not have liked her running away but I understood. It was a natural reaction on instinct. She was backed in a corner and saw no other way out other than running away and hiding. And apparently she did well, better than probably most people.

The fact that she had conquered into a world rather unknown to her and ended up being friends with my men, who were equally impressed with her skills, never registered with her. Only few people managed to impress me and my men. For that we had seen already way too much in our lives to be impressed. I admit when I first introduced her to Bobby and Tank while on a redecoration job, I wanted to see how far I could push her buttons. Tank and Bobby – and to be honest all the rest of RangeMan really – were guys that looked scary and probably were scary as well. They were big and looked dangerous. There was a reason people usually assumed we were only a bunch of thugs after all. But leave it to Stephanie to hold her head high and not let any of that judge her opinion of anything.

I might not have approved of her methods – especially drugging one of my men – but I wasn't angry. I knew she was acting on pure survival instinct. For all I cared she could have taken all the money there was if it meant she was safe and taken care of. As a matter of fact it wasn't even that much she took. The safe easily held a few millions at any given time. So her just grabbing a few hands full of money was surprising. But I guess that was purely Stephanie. Even in illegal activity she showed a certain level of modesty. She took what she assumed she needed for a fresh start – not more, not less. And you had to admire her for that.