As I've been going back over the other chapters, I've started to feel as if I haven't been developing Takeshi's character enough, and as if his development sort of falls flat. I'm happy with how Squalo's development is as it's realistic, but I'm just not sure how I feel about Takeshi's own development. It feels as if he gets developed a little, but then he either gets stuck in that stage for too long or he sort of goes around in circles and never really gets anywhere, if that makes sense? How are you guys finding it? Are you having the same problem as me?

"You're really distracted today, Squalo."

Squalo sighed. He lowered the sword he was holding so that he could respond to Takeshi. "I'm just tired; haven't been sleeping much…"

"Is it because of Bel?" It was true Takeshi wasn't sure what could be keeping the other awake, so it made sense to assume it was the blond who had just come home from the hospital after several more weeks since waking up – the blond seemed to be keeping them all up, after all.

"Nah… Just… dreams…" How was Squalo supposed to admit that the reason he couldn't sleep was because every time he closed his eyes, he would be tormented relentlessly by wet dreams that would either have him waking up with dampness in his pants, or ones that would wake him, shaking him to his very core as he tried not to think about the images of his past that had come back to haunt him.

"What do you dream about?"

How was Squalo supposed to admit that almost all of his dreams in the past few weeks had been about Takeshi? He couldn't tell anyone that; they would all just think he was some sort of creep and a pervert… Instead of giving a verbal reply, he shrugged and left it at that.

"I dream about baseball, and having fun with my friends." Takeshi smiled brightly as he dropped his sword to the ground. "Sometimes I even dream about you, Squalo."

Squalo chewed at his lip. "…Why are you admitting that...? What kind of dreams about me…?"

"Eh? Lots of different ones! All sorts of them." Takeshi laughed. "Just last night I had a dream you were playing baseball with us and then you tried to beat up Gokudera with the bat because you kept missing his pitches."

Squalo snorted. "You're fuckin' weird, kid…" And then, as if the need to know got the better of him, he asked, "What other dreams do you have about me…?"

"Like I said; lots!" A dark red tint soon crossed the younger's face, as if the idea of admitting something out loud was too embarrassing. Squalo didn't miss it, and he narrowed his eyes; he knew for a fact that if Takeshi wanted to fuck him, then the younger had no reason to hide it and not take what he wanted; Xanxus had never had need to be embarrassed or hide things like that; he'd just say out loud bluntly what he wanted, and even if Squalo had said no, it didn't matter; he just drove knives through the other's palms to keep him in place as he took what he wanted with no mercy.

Squalo wasn't sure why he found himself sauntering closer to the teen; all he knew was that, eventually, they were standing so close, their chests were brushing together. In a low voice, he growled, "Why are you hiding things from me, Takeshi? Do you not trust me enough to tell me…? Xanxus would have told me right out he was having wet dreams about me. Hell, if he wanted from me the things you do, he'd have taken them, no matter how many times I yelled and screamed and begged no… So why aren't you doing the same…? That's what you want from me, isn't it, Takeshi?"

Takeshi gulped. He wasn't used to being confronted like this, and though he had never felt threatened by Squalo before, he almost was right now; whatever was going through Squalo's mind had unhinged him, and there was no telling how this could end. "…"

"You want to know what's been keeping me awake at night, Takeshi? Dreams. About you. You fucking me senseless until I wake up and find my pants are wet and sticky. How fucking hard was that? You couldn't even tell me you have the same problem, could you? Bel never has any problems telling me about his wet dreams, so why do you?"

Takeshi clenched his hands and looked to his feet. He wasn't exactly angry, but when he spoke, it was in a much lower, serious tone than was usually heard from him. "I'm not Bel… I never could be Bel… And to be honest, I don't want to be anything like him… I like how I am, and I have no intention of changing… But if not wanting to tell you I feel the same way as you do makes me lesser than Bel… Then I honestly feel relieved… He might tell you and make you feel scared or uncomfortable, but I don't want to do that to you… And if not telling you these things is the only way I can help you feel safe with me, then I'll hide it all…"

"You're an idiot…"

The younger male looked up into Squalo's dark eyes. His own caramel orbs were hardened from his emotion, but they softened when they noticed the look of despair the older male was carrying. "…"

"You really think… you have to sugar coat shit for me like that…? Just to make me feel safe…" Squalo shook his head. "I'm not as weak and helpless as Bucking Horse makes me out to be… I don't need you to protect me…"

"Squalo…" Takeshi didn't know what had come over him; all he knew was that his urges had gotten the better of him and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and grabbing the other's shoulders in order to pull Squalo in for a kiss.

Takeshi felt all of his prior frustrations melt away as his lips met Squalo's. The kiss was a messy one, with lips and saliva clashing everywhere as both participants battled for domination. Takeshi won, of course, and though Squalo didn't particularly seem to the care, the long-haired man shoved the younger away when he felt nimble fingers going straight for the flesh hidden beneath his shirt.

"Fuck off!" Squalo wiped the saliva from his lips as he glared at Takeshi. "You think I'm going to let you do whatever you want?!"

"..."

"Just because I feel different towards you doesn't mean I'm gonna let you fuck me! How do I know it won't end like it did with Xanxus?!"

"…" Takeshi sighed. He leant down and picked his sword up from the ground. He knew he shouldn't have tried rushing things between them the way he had, and he was understanding why Squalo was reacting this way; after everything that had happened to the long-haired man, the last thing Squalo wanted was to put trust in someone, only to be hurt again. "I'm sorry, Squalo. Let's go back to practising."

Squalo didn't want to argue; he was too tired to find the energy to do so. Instead, all he could manage was to pick his sword up again and swing it harder than he had intended at the younger male. He dropped it once again when Takeshi let out a cry of pain; he should have been more careful because right now, there was blood all over the hardwood floor beneath them as Takeshi's sleeve became saturated in the sticky red fluid. "Fuck! Brat, I didn't mean…!"

"S-squalo…" Takeshi's face was contorted with pain, and Squalo was horrified; he didn't mean for this to happen; he just…!

"I'm getting Mammon to call an ambulance; stay there!" With that said, Squalo ran from the room in search for his friend.

~~XX~~

Takeshi was sleepless that night. He lay in his bed, staring up at the roof while Tsuna and Hayato slept peacefully on the other side of the room. His arm was burning, the painkillers he had been given starting to wear off and the deep wound that had been stitched up was making its severity known again.

But even as much as his wound was hurting, it wasn't really the pain that was stopping him from sleeping. No; it was the fact that tonight, like almost every night since Bel had been out of the hospital, the boy could be heard through the bedroom walls – it just so happened that tonight, it wasn't him crying or screaming for one reason or another; instead, he was moaning and crying out as his bed squeaked beneath the weight of both him and Squalo. Why Squalo could still engage in such acts with Bel when the long-haired man knew how Takeshi felt for him was beyond the Japanese male, but he tried not to think about it too much; listening to it happen right next to him on the other side of the wall was already enough to bring him to tears.

Takeshi wiped at his damp eyes with the back of his hand as he tried to stifle a sob; the last thing he wanted was to wake his friends up. Part of him was glad that Squalo was mostly silent, with only the occasional grunt or soft moan audible through the walls; Takeshi was sure it would have killed him inside to have it rubbed in his face that Squalo was enjoying what he was doing with Bel when it should have been him the man was with…

Though the walls were rather thick, Bel was very loud, especially when he was getting closer and closer to his orgasm. It was harder to hear Squalo since he seemed to be so quiet, but that didn't matter; just seconds after Takeshi had heard Bel climax, the blond's shouting could be heard, and from all of the time he had spent in Italy, he could actually understand most of what was being said.

"Why would you do that?!"

"What the fuck…"

Takeshi looked over at Hayato and Tsuna when he heard the silver-haired male mumble sleepily. "…"

"Why would you fucking do that?!" The sound of Bel slapping Squalo could be heard through the wall, but if Squalo had said or done anything in return, Takeshi couldn't make it out. "Why would you say his name and not mine?! I never did that to you!"

"For fuck's sake, they need to shut up…" Hayato rolled onto his side and pulled his pillow over his head to block out the yelling. "We're trying to sleep…!"

Takeshi didn't reply; he was too busy listening to what was being said in the other room, but no matter how hard he tried to listen in, he just couldn't make out what Squalo was saying.

"If you love him so much, why don't you go fuck him instead?! Don't lead me on like this! I thought you loved me!"

Takeshi frowned; if that was what Bel really thought, the blond's mental health was far more twisted than he had originally thought.

"Don't touch me! Let me go, asshole! I hate you!" Whatever was going on in there drew a loud scream of pain from Bel. "That fucking hurts! Go away!"

The Japanese male could just make out loud footsteps stomping out of the room, and Bel's bedroom door slamming closed seconds before Squalo's own did. Takeshi's frown only grew deeper as he listened to Bel crying to himself in the other room; so Takeshi wasn't the only one having love problems…

"What happened, Yamamoto…?" Tsuna, like Hayato, was groggy from sleep. "Why was he yelling like that…?"

"…I don't know, Tsuna… They've stopped now. Go back to sleep." Takeshi tried his hardest to be supportive, but it was hard when there were already tears running down his cheeks.

Takeshi had been right all along; loving someone was the hardest thing he had ever done.