I grossed myself out while writing this chapter XD

CH 11: Buzz Part 1

Grimmjow wouldn't deny it; he was mad as hell. Moments ago he had just witnessed Stark and Nnoitra swapping saliva with each other in the food court of the local mall. It wasn't even an innocent kiss either; He could have sworn he saw Nnoitra slip his tongue inside Stark's mouth. The thought made his blood boil hotter than the surface of the sun on a summer day. If only he hadn't run off so quickly, he might have been able to separate the two through means of choking and strangling either one of them. But he chose to walk on, Ichigo trailing right behind him.

"Where are we going now, Grimmjow?" Ichigo asked, somewhat irritable. He received a simple grunt from the taller man and nothing more. In fact, the man picked up his pace, his back ridged, his neck turning a slight pink color. Ichigo addressed him again, receiving the same blank answer.

Is he embarrassed?

"Kurosaki!" Shaking the thought from his head, Ichigo turned his attention towards the waving Ishida. Unsure of whether Grimmjow would notice his sudden disappearance, the Shinigami changed direction and headed towards his waiting friend. Ishida greeted him with his usual stoic expression, an ice cream cone in his hand.

"Well?" Ichigo asked.

"I didn't find anything unusual in their behavior." Ishida explained, adjusting his glasses. He licked his melting chocolate ice cream before continuing. "I chose to tag along with L. Kiora and Hailey and apparently, they have no intentions of attacking us or humanity." Ichigo sighed.

"I just witnessed two of them snog each other."

"What?"

"I don't know." Ichigo hugged his waist with one arm, his other hand stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Anyway, I guess we can just assume they aren't doing anything evil or menial...for now."

"Would you like to go home then?" Ishida asked quietly. Ichigo thought of the option then shrugged, smiling.

"Sure, why not? I gotta tinkle anyway."

"Chad and Rukia have also been wondering where we have been for the past two days." he supplied happily. "Perhaps we can visit them and have lunch."

"Uh...sure thing." The Shinigami gave him a weird look before the two started to walk off, the Espada well fit in the back of their heads. Meanwhile, inside the building Ishida was guarding, a quiet transaction was taking place. Inside, within the walls of a small office, a plump man with a stained shirt was gathering up equally oily paper from his desk, shoving it towards the clients across from him. His thick, brown mustache hid his possibly fake grin.

"Well, it seems you two fit this position rather well. It's almost as if you were made for this job, though it rarely happens."

"We thank you for the compliment, sir."

"Oh posh, you don't have to call me 'sir' anymore. You can just call me Phil. I'm not important enough to have such a high ranking title." He gave out a pig like laugh, pulling out a dirty handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the drool from his mouth before continuing. The two in question cringed ever so slightly, their hands kept firmly in their, now considered highly sanitized, laps. "By the way, what did you say your names were again?"

"I'm L. Kiora."

"I'm Hailey." Phil stopped, registering the names in his head.

"L. Kiora and...Hailey, huh? Sounds American...or Greek."

"Sure, let's go with that." Halibel said, trying to speed up the application process. She didn't think she could handle the smell of rotting meat in the air anymore. She looked over at her partner, trying to read his blank expression. Sensing her, he gave her a quick glance, his eyes screaming, "Help me Halibel, I can't breathe!" Once again, even an Espada had their limits. Phil was oblivious.

"Well, then I'll have you sign here and here" he said, pointing to different sections of the paper he had handed them in the beginning. "After that, I'll send these papers up to my boss and you'll be officially part of our team here at Google: Tokyo." Pulling out a pen from his jacket, Ulquiorra signed the contract first, making sure no part of his body or jacket touched the table. He then handed the pen over to Halibel, watching her repeat his actions. When she finished, Phil took back the papers, eying their signatures. "I'll give this to the boss ASAP and he'll call you to let you know when your first day is, alright?"

"Okay."

"Understood." All three of them stood up, signaling the end of the meeting. After reluctantly shaking hands with the man, the two Espada left the building, simultaneously taking deep breathes of the fresh, outside air.

"I am never...going back in there again..." Halibel said, trying to resist the urge to vomit.

Ulquiorra wasn't as lucky.

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"Who's missing?" Gin asked sometime later.

"Halibel and Ulquiorra." Aporro answered, looking around the large living room. Gin thought for a minute, tilting his head to the side.

"Did you call them to remind them we were meeting at our house?" Aporro nodded, lounging on the luxurious couch as usual. Before, the group had agreed to meet up at the second house. But when they realized that it was too cramped, even when they all wore their gigai, they changed plans to meet up at the mansion. Needless to say, it was a much more comfortable fit.

"Maybe they're lost?" Stark offered, making himself comfortable next to Aporro.

"Ulquiorra is not stupid enough to get lost you idiot." Nnoitra countered, never meeting the higher Espada's eyes. Even if he wanted to he couldn't, due to his black eye. He sighed, finally realizing what it was like to be Tousen.

"I wouldn't be talking if I were you, Nnoitra." Stark said flatly. "You were lucky enough I had the courtesy to drag your pathetic body back here."

"What happened between you two, by the way?" Aaroniero asked curiously. "I heard it was pretty epic, from what Grimmjow said."

"Where is Grimmjow anyway?" Yami asked.

"He went upstairs to sulk in the bathroom." Barragan answered, sighed heavily. "Ha! Children these days are so easily broken by intimacy." Stark sat up suddenly from the Espada's comment, his face turning red. Red from what was unknown.

"That was not intimate! That was sexual harassment!" Barragan folded his arms across his chest.

"Says you."

"Anyway" Nnoitra interrupted. "Nothing happened that concerns any of you." Before anyone could pester them further, the front door opened, allowing two very weary Espada to enter.

"We're back..." Halibel said, trying to hold Ulquiorra up in a standing position.

"What the hell happened to you two?" Aporro asked, sitting up on the couch. Halibel shrugged, seating the weak Ulquiorra on the floor by her feet.

"We uh...got lost..." Almost every raised an eyebrow at her, before finally shrugging it off.

"So I'm guessing you guys didn't get jobs then..." Yami inquired. Halibel put a hand on her hip, scratching the top of her head in thought.

"Well we kinda did. It was at some place called Goggle or Google...some kind of American based job. Their servants are beastly though. I think one of them was a pig too..." Aporro scrunched up his face, sticking out his tongue.

"That's gross..."

"I know. But while we were out, we decided to find another route to making money." She pulled out a piece of paper from her bosom, holding it out for all to see. The others stayed silent, allowing her to continue. "They say many people each day do this kind of thing, though only a handful gets the grand payment. It's not too hard to get in because there are hardly any requirements and if we stick together, I think we can all get a little something for the efforts."

"That sounds like a good idea..." Aporro thought, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

"Plus, if it's enough money, none of us will have to work." Aaroniero added happily.

"Can you remind me again, what this 'new route' is called?" Nnoitra asked irritably, massaging his eye. Halibel smiled, unfolding the piece of paper and showed it to the rest of them. The front was all black, save for the spine of an animal. All the ribs were broken off except for four of them, one word to the right of the picture. Halibel couldn't help but feel rather smug with herself.

"Reality Television."

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"Why are we here in the United States again?"

"For the money, duh."

"What money?"

"The only money that will help support us until Aizen decides to come back."

"Oh...This is so boring...I don't want to be here..."

"Would you stop complaining?!"

"Well I would if I wasn't here, dumb ass!"

"No one invited you! You followed us here!"

"Well I felt like following you."

"You're so dumb."

"So's your face!"

"Where'd you learn that, an Elementary School?!"

"Shut up!"

"Hey!" Gin yelled, grabbing the attention of Stark and Nnoitra before they killed each other. "Stop acting like children and grow up for once, alright?!" Both immediately stood at attention, nodding their heads vigorously. Rolling his eyes, Gin turned back towards the many cameras and their leader.

"Remind me again why we're wearing these silly outfits..." He muttered to Aaroniero. He shrugged, pulling at his blue t-shirt and black cargo pants.

"It's for their entertainment, I suppose..." he muttered, examining his gray tennis shoes. "I mean I get the whole 'teams' thing, but why did it have to be blue, of all colors?"

"Because blue fucking rocks!" Grimmjow butted in, striking a superhero pose. "What, do you have a problem with the color blue?" Aaroniero crossed his arms across his chest, raising an eyebrow.

"As a matter of fact, I do..."

"Why you little-"

"Okay! Welcome back to tonight's season finale of Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Gauntlet 4!" The announcer blared out, facing away from the two groups. "I'm your host, T.J. Lavin and in just a few moments, we will witness the years most epic reality television battle ever!" He pointed towards the camera dramatically before turning to reintroduce the two teams. "Behind me are the teams that will be competing for the 300,000 prize: The Rookies-" He pointed towards the Espada. "vs. the Veterans!" He pointed towards the other group in red, both teams eying each other warily. Throughout the first portion of the game, Aporro had convinced their group to try to play fair, causing them to lose him, Halibel, Yami and Barragan. Grimmjow was now determined to cheat his way through the finals, his pride at stake. Ulquiorra had decided to follow him, but only after he was assured the plan would follow through, seeing as it was Grimmjow's idea. On the sidelines, Tousen, Little Grimm and Wonderweiss watched, unable to participate for obvious reasons. Joining them were the eventual Espada losers, all of them hoping to the Gods Grimmjow knew what he was doing.

Grimmjow folded his arms across his chest, rolling his eyes at the dubbed "Veterans".

"We're gonna beat your ass in this last challenge." he muttered, loud enough for one of the opposing teammates to hear.

"You got that wrong, honey" the woman said defiantly. "We're gonna beat you down."

"Don't talk to him like that!" One of her teammates interrupted.

"Why the hell not?!"

"Because he's cute."

"He's not cute, he's a bitch."

"Did you just call my man a bitch?"

"What if I did, hoe?"

"Well then bring it on you hooker!" The two women suddenly got into a fist fight, their male team members and some of the producers trying to wrestle them away from each other. In the mean time, the Espada watched, amused by the short tempers of the women. Grimmjow was tempted to gut the girl that called him a bitch, but decided against it; he wanted that 300k and he wasn't to screw up now.

The fight lasted for a mere 30 seconds before everything calmed down. Calling for a quick commercial break, the host talked to the two girls separately, eventually coming back with a verdict while the two in question sobbed in the corner. Cuts and bruises covered their body, one of the girls tops ripped off completely.

"Sorry about that folks..." T. J. said nervously to the main camera, scratching the back of his head. "There was a tiny technical difficulty and now the Veterans are down by two members. This brings the Rookies at an advantage of one person."

Grimmjow couldn't help but smile. Though, constantly being called a "Rookie" did piss him off to no end, almost enough to want him to gut the host. But he would save that for another time. Right now he had to focus on the man's instruction.

"Our final round is affectionately named 'No Man's Land.' The route goes as follows." He pointed towards the course in the distance, the Veterans grimacing slightly. "First, you must climb your way up and around the 30 foot concrete wall. When you get down, it's a half a mile foot race to the bicycles where you will ride up the steep hill. Upon reaching the top, you will have to put the giant puzzle piece together. When you finish, you with run down the hill, swing over the river of quick sand, jump through the Ring O' Fire, capture a burglar, tackle a quarterback, get a perfect score in the ice skating competition, ride on Colossal from Disneyland, parachute safely down from a height of 2,000,000 feet from a biplane driven by one of your members and finally swim through our mock Nile River. If you can avoid the Megalodon and cross the underwater finish line, you will get the grand prize of 300,000!!"

"Tch, this is too easy." Grimmjow muttered, following the others to the start line.

"I agree..." Ulquiorra said, a bored expression on his face. "This challenge is much too juvenile."

"Says you!" One of the men said from the other team. "If this was so easy, why don't you still have all your team members?" His other mates laughed, Grimmjow having a difficult time staying in his gigai and avoiding a potential mass murder. Stark sighed, staring down the man who made the comment.

"At least they weren't disqualified." Stark smirked as the man immediately quieted down, unable to come up with a good come back. Stark mentally performed a victory dance.

"Are you ready?!" T.J. Yelled, waiting for all of them to stretch out quickly. He then pulled out a toy gun from his pocket, pointing it up in the air. "Go!" He yelled, preparing to pull the trigger. Suddenly, a huge sonic wave passed through, catching them off guard and toppling many of them to the ground. Dirt was picked up and flung into the form of a dust devil, disappearing as soon as the wind lifted.

"Hey!" One of the members of the Veterans said as soon as normal vision was restored. "Where the hell did they go?!" Blinking, T.J. Looked up and around, seeing nothing but the course.

"They're gone!" He exclaimed, using his hand as a visor. "It seems that the Rookies have gone missing!" He looked down, scratching the side of his head. "Well then...I suppose that means that, by default, the Veterans win!"

"Wait!" Aporro said, standing up from his seat. "Why don't you go check the finish line?"

"The finish line?" the host asked, raising an eyebrow. "What makes you think they're there?"

"The camera says they're there." Aporro casually pointed to one of the cameras. Upon closer inspection, T.J. Noticed that it was the one they had stationed at the finish line, along with two others. All three were pointed towards a group of drenched and slightly muddy people; the Rookies. Everyone's reaction was, to say the least, surprised.

"What the hell?!" The Team Captain from the Veterans yelled. "How did they get there so fast?!"

"I didn't even pull the trigger!" T.J. Added, his eyes wide. "This is so not humanly possible!" Still in shock, he trudged across the sidelines of the course, making his way steadily towards the group of waiting Espada. The others followed closely behind.

"So, where's our prize money?" Grimmjow asked him once he arrived.

"First you gotta tell me how you all got here in less than a second." he asked back. "You also have to explain to me why I shouldn't disqualify you right now."

"What did we do?" Ulquiorra asked flatly.

"Nothing too major. You just cheated, that's all."

"We did not cheat you incompetent boy!" Nnoitra snarled, balling up his fists.

"Do you have any proof that we cheated?" Stark asked, rolling his eyes at the lanky Espada. T.J. Smirked.

"As a matter of fact, I do." He turned towards one of cameras. "Roll the tape." The cameraman did as he was told, rewinding back to mere seconds before the race started. The view showed the two teams, waiting patiently at the start line. T.J. Then pointed the gun upwards, yelling "Go!". As soon as the words left his mouth, The Rookies vanished from the camera view, followed by the shock wave. Switching to the view of another camera, The Rookies showed up in a blur, looking as though they didn't just run through a tedious and potentially life threatening course.

"Well it looks like we were right." Grimmjow said triumphantly, grinning. The others agreed, asking for the money simultaneously.

"No, that can't be right!" the host protested. "Show it in super slow-mo!" he ordered. Once again, the clip was played, this time in Super Slow-Mo View. The scene played out slower than the first, but the story was the same; once T.J. Uttered the words "Go!", the Espada were gone in an instant, the sonic wave quickly covering the view. Frustrated, T.J. Prepared the tape for the most intense slow-mo capture you could possibly imagine; Codename Super Extra Ridiculously Intense Epic Slow Mo Squared View Divided by Pi. The Espada stood by bored as he set up the camera, rewinding back to the same scene, this time with the rarely used and possibly illegal Slow Mo device. Completely focused on the screen, he watched himself lift the gun for 2 hours. Uttering the single word for an hour, he turned his attention towards the still Espada, all the while his finger moving downwards to pull the trigger.

At first, they appeared to be casually standing, just like he would expected. However, after 30 minutes, he noticed Grimmjow suddenly made a face. His tongue stuck out, his eyes going off in different directions. Slouching, his chest suddenly lurched forward, his whole body moving as though he was being dragged. The others quickly followed suite, all of their suddenly limp bodies doing the same thing. A split second later, they had all appeared to have dragged themselves to the finish line, their bodies twitching for a moment before the regained their composure. A half an hour later, the shock wave appeared, dust flying everywhere. The proof seemed to be right there, broadcast live to all people of the United States.

What T.J. Couldn't get over was the fact that their movements looked so normal, compared to their slowed down surroundings. He turned towards the waiting group, his words dying on his tongue.

"How did you...when..." he sputtered. "How do you do that?!"

"We're just awesome like that." Nnoitra said.

"But why does it looked like you were being dragged?! We here in America don't run like that at all."

"Well that's because we Japanese have been naturally modified to go against the laws of physics." Aporro said quickly, adjusting his glasses. "Everyone should know that by now." T.J. Stared at them for a few more minutes, trying to find a legitimate reason to follow through with the disqualification. Coming up with nothing, he sighed. Sensing their victory, all the Espada held out their hands.

"We'd like our money now." Grimmjow said, unable to hide his growing smirk.

I am so fucking cool.

I'm sorry this took so long. I was busy with Senior Exhibition crap...but now that it's over, I'll try to update every week or so. Reviews are greatly appreciated.