Title: The Darkside of Twilight
Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)
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Question:
Take the object found while searching under your bed in the middle of the night out into the center of your room to illuminate its mystery. What you thought was your missing shoe becomes the forgotten purse that you haven't used in three years. Take the wicked whispers in shadows of the dark alley and see them through the lips from which they passed on the face of the devout Reverend in the Sunday morning light. Take the image first presented shrouded in fear and remove the need for panic- what a difference one choice makes.
Answer:
Chapter 11: Nomadic lifestyle or Leaving Forks, Leaving Family, Leaving Him
\/Darkside\/
JPOV
I could feel their curiosity mixed with the instinctual caution that was part of the vampire nature. Alice tensed in my arms as, I was sure, she saw their arrival approaching. There were... three. One male, a hunter, ready to fight. Another male, reserved, eager, almost hopeful. The last a female, wild, rebellious, protective.
My arms tightened around my Alice as an echo of that defense in the female. It was for her mate... which one. We turned when Edward and Alice confirmed my suspicions of their numbers. Edward said they were curious. I knew that. He said they wanted to join the game. Yes, there was an anticipation to the way they moved.
I squeezed Alice tighter again. The passions of the vampire often lead to only one thing. I had spent too many years in battle to ever be at ease around strangers.
I was only now warming up to Bella. I could feel her anxiety. She was a rainbow of emotions all in one minute. How would she survive such a dichotomy of body and mind? I knew the answer to that- the same way Edward dealt with hearing more thoughts than his own and Alice dealt with seeing situations that are yet to come. She would have to learn to handle this like I did my ever changing climate- time.
The Nomads approached from the west. The clouds were darker on that side of the field- like the advancing storm was following these three outsiders. I could feel Bella's interest as we watched them approach.
The rest of the family was cast in shades of apprehension. I was no help in calming their nerves. I was more on guard than any of them. But Bella was staring at the new arrivals with youthful impatience. She wanted to know more about them. Her emotion was so strong that I was actually feeling a little hopeful to meet them myself.
I squashed the sensation. I pushed a healthy dose of fear towards her body. I could hear Edward hiss as I did it. You know it is better for her to be afraid than for any of us to get hurt- especially her. I defended.
Edward's tension was only amplified by my omission. And as his body was panicked I could feel Bella's automatically registering the change in him—like she was linked to him in a way like I was. Would there ever come a day when that girl didn't perplex us all.
Edward chuckled tightly behind me. Yes, I supposed whatever surprised us with Bella was only a taste of what Edward experienced with her. In a moment of careless meditation, I wondered at the changes in my brother over the last two months. He used to believe that there was nothing worth living this life for. Now, because she adored it so, Edward reveled in being a vampire. How effortlessly Bella had brought on this metamorphosis. But then it was like that for all vampires—once we found our other we were changed. My arms tightened impossibly more around my beloved.
Alice's tiny hand patted against my mine almost as an afterthought. I could feel her clouded emotions of the new arrivals. She was on edge over something else. I felt a surge to her bond with Bella—she was worried about Bella. Why?
She patted my hand again. Drop it, the movement said. It was her silent way of making me focus on the trouble in front of us not inside her head. She would handle the future I was needed in the present.
I shook my head.
I released Alice and took a step forward. Emmett flanked my left as Edward and Carlisle stepped up to flank my right. Our females were not hidden damsels behind us—just the second infantry reserved for a defense.
Edward chuckled darkly and shook his head. He could never fully appreciate the way I saw the world. I wasn't like the rest of them. I had no other memory than opening my eyes and being trained. We soldiers were created on an assembly line—kissed by the mother and chosen for service.
We tensed as their scents caught our noses on the breeze. They stopped at the makeshift pitching mound—leaving a good space between us. We were matched, on even ground—I did not like the disadvantage. I preferred to always have the upper hand. I would hope our strength lay in numbers—but I had no way of knowing what skills these strangers possessed. They seemed relaxed in stance, though I felt their unease within. I could tell that they were not new at such intercourse—meeting fellow groups on their travels.
"Of course not," Edward whispered beside me. It was not silent enough for the visitors to miss. "The middle one will speak to us—he is actually intrigued by our family." I nodded. That was signal for me to keep my eyes on the other two. The dark one would not be the threat—for the moment.
I focused on the female. She stood in front of Edward, but I would not have a difficulty blocking her advance. Emmett took the wiry looking one on the left. Alice put her hand on my back—I reined in the urge to show aggression. She was warning me that if I made that decision it would end badly.
The female's eyes narrowed. She seemed to focus past our front line and found something behind us very interesting. I didn't have to look. I could feel my little sister's renewed curiosity. Bella was probably standing on her tiptoes to peek around Edward.
He glanced over his shoulder with a snarl on his lips. His frown told me I was right. Should we have Alice fall back with her? She could be safer away from the temptation. Edward shook his head.
He seemed to say that they were no threat—to her. He glanced at me. I nodded. No threat to us. At least in their thoughts. I looked back at Alice. She shook her head infinitesimally. No threat so far in the future.
I nodded again. It wasn't that I was eager for a fight. But I just could never get used to innocent until proven guilty. I released a wave of calm over both parties. I hoped that it would be a sort of white flag.
It had the opposite affect. The wild one crouched down. The female took two steps back with a hiss. Odd. I watched Edward in my peripheral. He was agreeing. There was more to the couple than he could read.
Carlisle nodded to us for approval to initiate communication. We nodded in response. Emmett was growling as he watched the wild one's eyes follow Carlisle. I fought to hold on to the calm while my defenses rose up. Alice's tiny hand was soothing once again on my back. Patience.
"Hello," Carlisle said waving to the visitors. He put himself between the dark one and me. I didn't like the weakness of this position. Carlisle could get hurt. Alice increased the pressure of her touch on my back. Calm.
"This is my family." Carlisle announced modestly. All of our chests puffed a bit broader and we raised our heads a little higher at the statement. It was a proud thing to be a Cullen.
"We could hear the game from the forest," the dark one spoke. His voice was as dark as his skin. I could feel Bella's attraction to the sound. Edward's head shifted ever so slightly at my thought. His eyes narrowed on the stranger. So he had a hard time sharing her with everyone—not just us.
He growled under his breath. I suppressed a laugh. But I heard Alice giggle behind me.
"Can we play?" The stranger asked for a second time. It was an odd request at this juncture. Obviously we were packed up and ready to go. It was almost as if the creatures were meant to be here, but in a different setting—like whatever they were supposed to be doing was no longer relevant.
Alice tapped her finger against my back—Morse code. The redhead will try to attack Bella. Stop. Change places with Edward. Stop. Let them see Bella. Stop. Edward and I immediately followed her silent command. Edward reached back to pull Bella forward as I shifted to the right.
I stared down the carnal lines of the female's face. She had a reserved intensity. She hid it well on the outside. She just looked unkempt and wild. But deep inside of her there was a ravaging lust for destruction- one that was honed and would be deadly. There was also a quiet throbbing love.
Without moving my eyes from her form I noted the other two strangers. Neither of them shared in her bond of love. Strange. She was obviously harboring both the fierce protectiveness and a relationship with one of them. The dark one seemed unattached to her- he was almost afraid when he felt her move beside him. The other one didn't regard her at all. He was too busy staring down Emmett. I couldn't blame him.
In almost two hundred years of war I had never come across anything as instantly lethal or immensely massive as Emmett. I was always glad to have him on my side. I hunched into a defensive position as Edward stepped back to the line with Bella in his embrace.
She stood encircled by his shielding arms. Her eyes were wide- like a toddler seeing something magical for the first time. It was strange. Bella almost looked like she had never seen a vampire before- like these creatures were the first of our kind that she had met.
The males were instantly focused on her. I could feel the fascination growing in both of them. Bella was provocative to them- while she had the opposite affect on the female. Edward continued to growl low and menacing as he listened to their thoughts. He was on guard.
I tensed in response. Alice's hand pinched my back. I tried to calm myself. The air was filling with some kind of electricity. It was making everyone feelings intensify. I could feel Edward relax into Bella- I watched out of the corner of my eye as he dropped his head to her neck and started kissing her flesh.
The two males fell to their knees staring up at Bella with awe reverence. The female backed away in furious anger. I roared deep in my throat as my own need to fight peeked. Carlisle and Esme were sitting on the ground holding hands and talking. Emmett and Rosalie were following the female with measured slow steps.
Alice wedged herself between Edward and me. I looked down at her- barely in control of my rage. She was serene- calm. She winked up at me.
Bella seemed unaffected- other than her natural response to Edward's lips on her skin. She blinked her eyes slowly and the strangers dropped to the ground, fast asleep.
We were all instantly released from the spell that had controlled our thoughts and moods. Bella pushed out of Edward's arms, which were too stunned to fight her, and walked towards the Nomads.
Edward watched her with a mixture of horror and worship. She was magnificent. But she was obviously not in control. Her ability seemed to be channeled through her desires for the moment. That made her a greater threat than the beasts lying on the ground. She was clearly dangerous not only to others but to our family as well. Edward didn't turn to acknowledge that thought but the remorse that flowed from him to me was unmistakable.
Bella knelt down by the dark one. She reached with a single finger and touched his face. She looked back at Edward with a wide grin- flashing all of her perfect white razor sharp teeth.
I could feel happiness from him as he saw her smile. It was odd. Edward was tied to her in a way that I had never experienced. His every thought and every emotion were linked to Bella's. It was a profound bond to feel- Stronger than even mine to Alice. I watched as his face pulled in to a long slow grin.
It did not match the terror that was welling in him under the surface. She had not released him from her control entirely. Panic. He was responding to me now—and I in turn was growing frightened at the prospects of Bella's untapped potential.
"Bella," I said hoping to distract her. She pointed her innocent eyes at me and I was… happy. I wanted to sit by her and play with the new toys too. I didn't care about anything else. I was just excited to join in. Edward and I sat down beside her and she actually clapped and giggled. It made me laugh. I was having fun- because she wanted me to have fun.
Alice's hand was on my shoulder. I shot her a wave of this infectious glee. Why wasn't she joining in? Why weren't they all joining in? I gave all of them a boost of the emotion. There really was no point to wanting to do anything else. Bella deserved to have her fun. Edward and I sat staring at her with that same reverence that the Nomads had offered.
Bella reached back down and stroked the dark one's cheek. His eyes moved furiously behind the closed lids. He looked so peaceful. I could feel my eyes growing heavy at the sight. Bella put her hand on my arm without looking back at me. I instantly felt a jolt of alertness.
I smiled. Of course she would take care of us. She didn't want us to miss out on the fun.
"Bella," Alice said quietly behind me. She didn't sound happy. I couldn't remove my eyes from Bella's face. She was running her fingers through the redhead hair now. Her face was contorted in lines of inquisitiveness. Edward was leaning in to her and nuzzling her neck from behind again.
"Bella," Alice's plea was just as calm and devoid of emotion. Strange. I pushed out with the unexplainable bliss once more. Alice should not be afraid of this.
"It's time to wake up," at those words the edges of my happy mood seemed to darken. I saw Bella's face fall ever so slightly. Edward tensed in response to her change.
"Please, Bella," Alice's voice was steadfast. "Please, let everyone go."
Bella gasped and we were released again. The Nomads remained unconscious but the family was removed from the waking fantasy of Bella's game.
Edward sat back with his hands up to comfort or restrain her, I couldn't tell.
"Bella love," his voice was breathless. It had been a very long day for him. "What… do you know… what did you do?" The words were just a question not an accusation. If we Cullens held grudges for the side affects of these abilities then even I would have too much guilt to live with.
Of course you could always count on Rosalie to be the exception to the rule. "She bewitched us!" She screeched. Her passionate rage against Bella made me want to jump up and rip out her throat to defend my new sister. Hatred. Rage. Anger- The only way to describe the Grecian beauty with the silvery blond hair.
Edward's lips pulled back from his teeth as a warning for his least favorite sibling to back off. "She is a threat to more than our enemies. She is a threat to herself and to all of us." My heart sunk as she finished. I hated to have to agree with her. But Bella needed to get a grip on control—or I feared that our family would be too big to stay together.
I felt my remorse echoed in the bodies of Carlisle and Esme. Emmett felt a little amazed at his first experience of Bella's gift. And Alice… she was still detached. She was not allowing her self to feel anything. I looked back at her. She had the answer she'd feared for some time now.
When I looked back at Edward's face I wished that I could stop the flow of emotion from his body to mine. The utter anguish was crushing. It felt like an ending. It felt like staring down an opponent that I knew I could not defeat. It felt like death.
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BPOV
I looked down at my hands. What had I just done? How could I do that?
Through the empath. Some part of my mind cajoled. We used his power to unhinge them all—put them all in a state easily controlled. You just need for him to be under, and then you can control everyone around you. I shook my head. I wanted to beat that part of my mind out of my skull with a rock.
I didn't want to control anyone. But you did. The velvet demon whispered from the darkness of my mind. You couldn't let them stop you. These creatures are so different—so new. You knew that Edward would never let you touch them. He doesn't want you to consider them as an alternative.
I peeked a glance at my love. His eyes were pained. His face was tight. He was tormented by something I didn't want to understand. I didn't want to believe that I had put that look on his beautiful face.
But he would have kept them from us. Would that have been so bad? I loved the Cullens. I loved my domesticated vampiric lifestyle. Yes, I had trouble adhering to the hunting habits but if this was how Edward wanted to live then it was good enough for me. But it is so tempting. The snake's tongue was hissing on the inside of my ears. I was truly going insane.
I looked back down at the three wild creatures. They were alluring—but I could no longer believe that it was their itinerant existence that was captivating my interest. There was something about them. Something in their essence. I rubbed my fingers together—his skin had felt the same as ours. It was darker than midnight but just as smooth and cold. I looked at the female. Her hair did not burn as the color promised. It was soft though untamed. I didn't touch the other one. Something about him made my dead stomach turn. He was evil beyond the levels of what I could tolerate. He hunted innocents. I could tell. I got the feeling that if I had been human, as I thought I was when he first arrived, he would surely have hunted me. How could I ever touch something vile enough to spill innocent blood?
My head screamed from within. HYPOCRITE! I have drunk innocent human blood. I was a newborn and barely conscious of the difference. I did not possess a memory of good or evil. Edward's hand tentatively touched my arm. He's drunk innocent blood. Was I innocent? Didn't I beg for this fate? No, he'd spilt that blood long before our life ended. The errant thought was banished from my immediate mind. I would not judge him. He was not like that malevolent thing in front of me.
I returned to my musing of what was drawing me to them… something so evocative in their scents… I raised my hand to my nose and drank deep of my own scent. It was there. I pulled Edward's hand from my shoulder and smelled his skin. It was there too. Jasper was still close by. I begged his forgiveness with my eyes and reached for his hand shyly. He handed it to me with a deep scowl in his brow.
It was not there in his skin. "Did Carlisle change you?" I whispered. Something was starting to add up in my mind. I just didn't have all of the pieces yet.
"No," he breathed. "I was changed by the mother." I smelled his flesh again. Deeper in the notes was a similar cadence as the one that linked those of us changed by our father. Some lost relation. But these creatures had identical aroma in their flavor to my own.
"Carlisle?" I asked turning to my father with wide wondering eyes. He was watching me with an odd look- one that told me that he was already sensing the same thing that I was. "Did you?" I prompted.
"No." He said flatly. His face was troubled. It was impossible for me to understand why. What did it all mean?
I heard Edward draw in a sharp breath. "Erebos," his voice was low and menacing as it wrapped around the word.
Of course, Carlisle's father would have been more than capable of turning others. I had not considered that it was the grandfather's essence and not the father's that washed inside of us—joining we tamed Cullens to the wild nomads.
"Tell her Edward." Alice spoke quietly behind us.
Edward sighed deeply and looked into my eyes. He looked so tired. And he looked like he was still in pain.
"It's time to go."
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EPOV
We had been walking at little more than a human pace for some time before I could leave my thoughts long enough to talk to her. There was so much that had happened.
Alice was silent as she walked on my other side. I still wondered exactly why she bothered to follow. I had gleaned her vision. It was final. Bella would decide to part from the family to deal with this problem. Alice knew that she was not included in Bella's decision. I bit my tongue when it came to telling her to stay behind though—I knew that Bella would leave me too.
My hand squeezed tighter around hers- as if I could force her to choose to stay with me by soldering our bodies together. I couldn't be without Bella. Not now. I would cease to exist. I understood her need to find balance on her own. I had taken to meditating privately for long periods when I was a newborn. But that's only because I didn't have Bella back then.
Since that day that she pulled me from my demons in the darkness of my mind, she helped me find my center. Every moment I spent with her I felt my evil growing smaller. I couldn't describe how just breathing her scent and touching her flesh was purging the sickness of self hatred from my body. She was a purifying drug to me. And now she was going to take that all away.
I was the most abominably selfish creature in the world—I hated her for making that choice. How could she do that to me? Then I hated my self even more for entertaining the thought of that hate for even a second. It was only fair to let you find her self. I had taken so much control from Bella from the moment I met her—letting her go now, on her terms, was the least I could offer.
It still hurt to consider it.
"Tell me Edward," she whispered beside me. Alice stomped on my foot when I still found my self at a loss for words.
"You tell her," I spat, "Since you seem so obsessed with her knowing." I didn't agree with Alice's evaluation. I had read their minds. I knew the connection before Bella put together the pieces. And Alice saw the conversation that they were having with our family now as we headed further east into the wilderness. But Bella didn't need to know all of it. She had enough to worry about right now. This three hundred year old social experiment was frankly getting rather old.
"Erebos had a reason for creating Carlisle… You remember?" Alice leaned around my body to look at Bella. She still held herself in calm reserve. Funny. She had kept herself detached from Bella's control only because she had built up a resistance to Jasper over the years. Even the mind reader couldn't see that trick coming. But Alice recovered from the first wave of Bella's attack quickly. She kept her guard up even now without Jasper's added influence to aid Bella in a loss of control.
"Carlisle was Erebos' ultimate study of mankind. He admired him as a young human and he relished the idea of having him by his side in the darkness of this world. But when Carlisle left, his father couldn't let go of the curiosity." Alice watched Bella with careful eyes. Erebos was not without gifts. Some that were seemingly manifesting in his distant granddaughter. We never really understood how we received these powers—one theory that Carlisle had entertained for a while was that they were shadows of the gifts originated in the Five.
But none of the Five could do what Alice could do. And most of our gifts were lame in comparison to the sheer strength that the Five possessed. But you couldn't deny that Bella's gift of changing reality was similar to Erebos'.
"You see, like all of the Five, he has spent an eternity trying to understand the world and the creatures that live in it. And with his ability, his curiosity knows no limits… Erebos has the power to change the past." Alice let that sink in for a moment. I had fought long and hard to find this mythical creature in the shadows of the corners of the earth. I had desired one moment in my past to be changed forever. But now, after Bella, that longing had disappeared.
"What do you mean?" Bella's voice was just as devoid of emotion as Alice's. She was my Bella now. The one that wasn't troubled with human fears, or stubborn with newborn needs, or all knowing with powerful potential, just a vampire- just my Bella.
"He can grant you the opportunity to change one choice that you have made in your life. One moment that you can have back and fix, or destroy…"
"How… why?"
"It is almost impossible to find him unless he wishes to find you. But he is like the fates—balancing the movements of good and evil to keep them together in this world. His gift is not saintly in nature. Some choose to change things that lead to worse ends. Some bring back lives that shower the world in great deeds that at one point never existed. It truly is a remarkable talent—but it is only offered once and not offered to everyone."
"Do you know anyone who has accepted it?" Bella always asked the wrong questions—or I supposed they were the right questions. They were just answers that made this life more complicated than it needed to be. I wanted her to have no worries—no fears, or regrets. Erebos was an obsession for most of us. Who didn't have one moment in their life that ate at their souls and made them desperate for an opportunity to change it?
"No," Alice admitted. "We have all heard stories. But when someone accepts his offer—the world changes and they have no memory of the previous world. If I had known someone, and they made a choice that changed the outcome of their life, then I might not be included in that new life. And thus, I would never remember that I had known them, because I would never meet them." I nodded. Alice had such a way with keeping so many confusing concepts straight in her head. Of course none of the three of us had clear concepts on reality anymore. Unlike Carlisle and Emmett, and even Jasper in most ways, Bell, Alice and I were constantly battling to remember ourselves and separate that truth from the future, or a fantasy or a stray thought. It was maddening.
I took my little sister's hand in my open one. I would be forever grateful that she had found our family and adopted us all those year ago. I knew that I would be relying on her more than ever in the time ahead.
"How does it work?" Another brilliantly harmful question—Bella was so intelligent. I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb.
"He gives you an apple." Alice's lips pulled back as her face became the serpent's. "Like Eve in her Eden you must decide. Which is the hell and which the absolution." She giggled. I rolled my eyes. Alice and her theatrics. "When you bite, if you bite, then you are given the power. It is not that different from what you do," I hissed as she took Bella's thoughts down this dangerous path. Bella was terrified of her gift, I could feel that. I didn't want her heading out on her own with this kind of knowledge.
"What do you mean?" Bella stopped us. Her face was hard. Her eyes were not focused on Alice as I expected them to be, but rather they were boring into mine.
I didn't know which of us she meant to have answer. I stared down at her with a vacant expression. I waited dumbly for Alice to finish. "He shifts the boundaries of realities in the minds of all who were affected by the decision that is made. It's like giving your gift a super shot of uber steroids but it is very similar. With the slight exception of your gift only working in the present time—as far as we know now. You can access past memories. Who's to say that you can't manipulate them like you do current ones?" I scowled at her conjectures.
What the hell did she mean about Bella manipulating memories? Alice's face was stone again. Now, she was blocking me out too. That wouldn't last for long. Sooner or later she would think about whatever it was she was hiding.
"So what did the Nomads have to do with Erebos?" Back on track. Good girl.
"They were sent to find Carlisle," I would finish this mess before Alice had us wandering too much further in to the darkness. "He sends out scouts to check in with his charges. We are usually too far off the radar for him to find. But he must have been desperate—to send three." I shook my head. Erebos hadn't made such a fuss to find my father since the great massacre. I wondered idly if the wolves were stirring in the darkness again—if they were Erebos would be the first to know.
"So," Bella frowned—trying to understand. "They were just looking for our family. That's why the dark one was so interested in us? He figured we were the Cullens?" I nodded.
"Then why did we have to leave?" She already knew the answer. I sighed as I thought of the proper way to answer her.
"We can't be around the others right now love," Alice's tiny breath hitched as if she had the ability to cry. Her thoughts were sad—she loved Bella very much.
"It is unfair for you to feel so at odds in your own skin," I pulled my hands out of theirs and placed them on either side of her face. "We push you too hard to be too disciplined. You need some time to just explore yourself and find what can keep you in control." I was beginning to hate that word. You never found control with unlimited strength, immortality and a talent like ours. A part of us—one fostered by the venom of our regeneration—never wanted to find control. I feared that part of Bella's mind was already too powerful for us to combat—she would have to find a way to live with that voice in harmony as it would never go away.
She nodded. Her eyes drifted to Alice. "I love you." She said simply. Alice's breath hitched again. I rolled my eyes. Bella wasn't going to be hurt—I had been separated from the family for decades before. It never bothered Alice when I was going away.
"Bella, please…" Alice's voice was strained. It was new to hear the psychic beg. "Please don't go alone. Please take one of us with you." Bella's eyes roamed from my sister's to mine and back again. She finally placed her hands on mine where they still cupped her face.
She breathed deep and I was lost in that electric burning need that I had for her. My lips were on hers in the next breath. Somewhere in the distance I thought I heard Alice still pleading for us to stay.
Bella pulled back with baited breaths. "Let's go." She commanded.
I didn't need the air but my breathing sped as we raced through the woods. It wouldn't be easy to lose Alice. We ran without any clear destination in mind.
I didn't have to ask Bella why she wanted to do this. I knew what it was like fearing your own potential. But she was keeping me close- I would help her through this. We would keep the rest of our family safe until she found her control.
I felt Bella's frustration in the air between us. This was starting to put me on edge too. As Bella's condition progressed so did our bond and I was beginning to find it difficult to separate my self from Bella anymore. She slowed her pace and mine automatically slowed to match her steps. My breathing continued to spike and hers pushed faster next to me in response.
It was exasperating. And it was wondrous. But mostly it was terrifying.
A human would call it too much too soon. But there were parts of my mind that hungered for more. My soul ached to have Bella possess every inch of me—and in turn my body craved to inhabit every part of her.
I watched her as we ran at human speed through the darkness. The action used to be exhilarating to me—but now everything paled next to Bella. I saw Bella's face fall into a frown at my last thought. It was subtle and anyone but me would have missed it. But I could tell she did not appreciate my devotion.
Bella laughed. It was empty and shaky. "This isn't devotion Edward," I stopped at her words. She was only able to read my mind while we were in one of her dreams. I reached out and grabbed her hand when she stopped too. She felt substantial. I leaned in and smelled her neck. She arched her head back unconsciously as I ran my nose along her flesh. She smelled real.
She laughed again, stepping back. My face was stone as I tried to make sense of what was happening to her. "This is a possession. We're like ghosts," her face was sunken and frail as she said the words. I was frozen as I watched—like I was being forced to not want to move. "We're fighting to have a piece… no one is in control…" She looked down at the ground and put her face in her hands. 'We' was not referring to she and I—I watched as each version of Bella played across what little bits of her face were exposed.
"I can't do this." She breathed. I felt as though a heart was racing in my chest at her words. I gripped her hand harder.
"You don't know what's real anymore… and I'm sorry for that." She said. Her face was filled with anguish that twisted my guts. I threw my arms around her. I kissed her neck. I drank in her scent. I licked the flesh beneath her ear. I knew what was real. This. Her. She was real.
"You're wrong Edward." She said slowly. Her face was so calm. Her eyes were almost hollow. "You've lost touch with your own reality."
I shook my head fiercely. A snarl was building in my chest. Some place in my mind knew what was happening. But I fought it. I refused to let go of what I knew was real.
"I love you." She breathed. Just as she had with Alice and my heart sank. "I want you to stay with them. They need you." I nodded uncontrollably as she nodded. I would do whatever she told me to. I was losing all control.
I was growing numb.
"You are here." I said squeezing her to me. Her little body was the most substantial thing in my world. She shook her head against my chest. "Yes." I hissed. "Please stay."
She turned my head to the right and I saw my broken body on the ground—alone on the forest floor. Alice came up to stand beside me, but I was lost in a trance.
I cried out in horror as my world started coming down around me. Where are you? I thought staring in to her eyes. When did you leave?
"I'm safe," she promised. She stepped up on her toes and placed the softest kiss to my lips. "I was gone before you kissed me." She admitted. "Forgive me."
I opened my eyes to the stars above the forest sky. Alice was sitting next to me. She was not bothering to hide her thoughts about Bella controlling me through my dreams. I could care less about any of that.
My limbs were numb and feeble at my sides. My lungs stopped the façade of breath. My eyes stared blankly at the empty heavens above. My ears were drenched in silence. No more music. No more anything.
Only one phrase ringing in the darkness. Forgive me.