Disclaimer: Not my characters. Pity.
A/N: Here's another chapter. I might have lied when I said there were only one or two more to go (it might actually be more like two or three ... hope you don't mind).
A/N 2: Thank you all for the love you're showing this story. You put a smile on my face with every word. :)
Emma's instincts told her to run like hell, so she did, her legs carrying her down Main Street at a quick clip. She always thought better on her feet anyway — quite literally, most of the time — and there was a lot to think about.
What had she missed? How had she missed it? When had it happened? Ruby and Regina? Had Ruby pounced on a heart-broken Regina, or had Regina decided to get over the loss of her soulmate by rebounding with Ruby? Oh God, what if Regina had a thing for Ruby the whole time? What if Ruby was the something she needed a distraction from?
But the thought that was running through her mind the most was: It's too late! Now I can never tell her that I want her ... it took me too damn fucking long to figure it out, thanks to Hook and those goddamn fucking letters! The letters that she had so hoped had come from Regina. The letters that had made her realize that it was Regina she wanted, not Hook; it was Regina she was in love with and had been for who knew how long.
The letters that she now felt mocked her feelings because there was no way they were from Regina. No matter what Emma's heart and gut told her. Even Regina wouldn't write her love letters and fool around with Ruby at the same time. Unless, of course …
Unless it's some sort of sick revenge … making me realize I love her and then laugh in my face …
How were they supposed to get past that? Even if it was only for Henry's sake? Emma took a deep breath, only then realizing that she had broken into a run at some point and was quite winded. She stopped, hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. When she looked up to see where she had ended up, her eyes fell upon her trusty bug.
She closed her eyes with a grim smile and dug out her keys.
o-o-o
Half a dozen crumpled sheets of stationary cluttered the otherwise neat desk even as a seventh crumpled paper ball joined their ranks, accompanied by a frustrated sigh.
Regina dropped her pen and ran her fingers through her hair. She had so much to say to Emma, wanted to tell her so much but now, all of a sudden, her words failed her. She had a feeling this might be the last letter for one reason or another, and she wanted to make it count.
How do your pour all of your heart into a single letter?
Regina got up and walked into the kitchen to get some coffee. Henry was there, just fixing to make himself a snack. "Would you like me to make you a sandwich?" she asked him.
"Nah, it's fine," he replied with a sheepish grin. "I'm just having a PB and J, and even I can't ruin that."
"i know you can, Henry," Regina said, rolling her eyes. "But I'm your mom and you're growing up so fast … I just like to do these things for you while I still can, you know?"
Henry put down his knife and looked at his mother. "Okay, what's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know," he shrugged. "You're acting … strange. Is everything okay? Is it Robin Hood?"
"No!" Regina's surprise was evident. "Why would you think that?"
Henry ignored her question. "It's Emma then," he stated confidently instead. "I should have guessed." Regina gaped at him, so Henry continued. "Come on, Mom. I'm not stupid … Ma's always been the only one to throw you off your game like that. Are you still mad at her?"
Regina took a deep breath. Henry didn't know about her feelings for his other mother. Should I tell him? Regina cleared her throat. "I'm not exactly mad at Emma any more, darling," she said gently.
"Oh?" Something in her tone rang a bell in Henry's head. "Does that mean you finally realized you actually hate her a lot less than you've always claimed?"
"How … What?" she blurted. "What are you talking about?"
Henry laughed. "Calm down, Mom … I know you actually like her — no matter how mad you were. Or are. Or try to be." He saw his mother look at him with a weird expression on her face. "I'm not blind, Mom … Grandma and I watch TV and movies, you know, and she loves all those rom coms." He shrugged. "I'm just glad you're not mad at her anymore."
With that, he grabbed his sandwich and left the kitchen and, a second later, the house, leaving Regina to stare after him.
Regina shook her head in an attempt not to panic about Henry's knowing yet cryptic comments that left her wondering what he knew or thought he knew. At least he probably won't be surprised if or when he finds out that I'm actually in love with his mother, even though that might not even matter in the grand scheme of things …
She poured herself a fresh cup of coffee and went back into her study, back to the letter she was determined to write, now more than ever.
o-o-o
Emma's phone rang insistently, for the third time in the last ten minutes. She gave it a short look — Snow again — before pressing a little harder on the gas.
Her heart skipped a beat when she passed the town line but she just kept on driving.
Kept on thinking.
Kept on telling her heart to stop wanting Regina.
o-o-o
Regina poured her heart out in the letter she was writing, finally having found the words inside herself that she wanted to say. She had realized at some point that her handwriting had lost most of its disguise and was now almost recognizable as her own, but she didn't stop writing. Emma needed to know anyway, and the time for subterfuge was probably over.
Her hand hovered over a half-finished word when she heard a loud knock on her door. She finished the sentence, then took another long sip of her coffee, only to grimace when the now cool brew hit her palate.
There was another knock on the door, this time louder and more … obnoxious. Regina wondered if Hook had come by to have words with her but the knocking wasn't at his level of annoying. Yet, she amended silently when the knocks started again and refused to cease.
Then a thought hit her: what if that was Emma? Regina jumped up and hurried to the door.
Of course it wasn't Emma, Regina thought the second she opened the door to reveal her visitor. That would have been too much to ask for. She tried to smile, but was barely able to hide her disappointment.
"Hello, Regina," Snow said as she pushed past Regina into the foyer, hitting her with the sleeping Neal's foot and the diaper bag while she did. "I think we need to talk."
Regina rolled her eyes as she let her front door fall closed softly. "What about, dear?" To her dismay, her tone lacked its usual condescension as her brain was still consumed by thoughts of …
"Emma," Snow said. "We need to talk about Emma."
Regina remembered Ruby's words, remembered that Snow suspected she had feelings for Emma, and swallowed. "Emma?" she asked, trying to sound only mildly interested. "Why would we have to talk about her? Why would I want to talk to you about her?"
"Because you love her, and I want you two to be happy," Snow said with a disarming smile.
"Ruby," Regina growled.
Snow chuckled. "Yes, Ruby told me about her stupid idea," she admitted. "But I didn't need her confirmation — I've been wondering about your feelings for Emma for a long time now."
"How long is a long time?" Regina asked before she could stop herself.
"Probably Neverland … but most definitely the year in the Enchanted Forest."
"Oh."
"Yes, oh." Snow walked into the study and looked around.
Regina studied Snow suspiciously but followed her into the room. She watched as Snow looked around the room and instinct drove her closer to her desk. Determined not to speak first, Regina leaned against her desk and twisted her hands in front of her thighs. She rolled her eyes at her own nervousness, and picked up her coffee cup.
"Coffee?" she asked, looking for an excuse to leave the room, if even for a moment.
Snow perked up at the question. "Sure, thanks," she replied. "Oh, wait ... could I have some tea instead?"
Regina nodded and left for the kitchen. As soon as she was out of the room, Snow put Neal down on the couch, then jumped up and ran over to the desk to start snooping around. She wasn't sure what was driving her but she simply knew she had to do it, and the desk seemed an obvious starting point.
Almost immediately her eyes fell on the crumpled balls of paper and the half-written letter. Snow peeked out of the room, listening for the sounds coming from the kitchen, then tiptoed back towards the desk. She stood next to the chair and picked up the letter. "I knew it," she breathed, even as her hand pressed against her chest at the feelings the words brought forth. Emma needs to know that the letters are Regina's, and I'm going to make sure she does. If I leave it up to them, they'll probably die of old age before they get their happy ending.
She put the letter down, ran over to the diaper bag and pulled out her phone to take a photo of the desk and letter, just to make sure that Emma would believe her, but what she really wanted — no, needed — was the letter itself. She had just picked it up once more when she heard Regina's steps in the foyer. She dropped the letter and swiftly moved back to the couch. I need to get Regina out of the house, Snow thought.
"Here's your tea," Regina said as she handed Snow the cup.
"Thank you," Snow replied. "Oh, would you mind getting me some water as well?"
Regina nodded with a grim look and walked back out. Snow quickly dialed a number on her phone. "Just listen, I don't have much time," she said as soon as the call was answered. "You need to call Regina in about ten minutes and get her out of her house. I don't care how ... magical emergency … big monsters ... or whatever ... okay, thanks. See you tonight."
Snow put away her phone just as Regina came back. "Thank you, Regina."
"You're welcome, dear." Regina sat down in the armchair close to Snow.
Snow swallowed once, then sat up straight. "Like I said, I know that you have feelings for Emma," she declared bluntly. "And I think you need to tell her."
"I fail to see how that is any of your business," Regina replied evenly.
"We're talking about my daughter," Snow said calmly. "Of course it's my business. I want her to be happy, and believe it or not, I want you to be happy too. If you two find that happiness together, well … I'm not going to stand in the way."
Regina just stared at Snow. "I don't understand you," she finally replied. "You and Ruby … why would you care about my feelings, my happiness after all I've done?"
"Because you've changed," Snow said as if Regina should know that already. "Because I loved the girl you were, the person you used to be … the good person that's still inside of you. And because I know that when you love someone, you love them with every fiber of your being." Snow leaned over and put her hand on Regina's knee. "Why wouldn't I want my child to be loved by you? She would be safe and happy and cherished beyond belief."
"What about the pirate?"
"Hook?" Snow snorted. "He can't give her that. Yes, he helped us in Neverland but only after helping the people who forced us to go there in the first place. He switches alliances more often than his clothes, and I haven't forgotten that, no matter how nice I'm pretending to be."
Regina nodded, allowing a fleeting smile to cross her face, but then she remembered a major, painful detail. "It's all well and good to know you wouldn't mind, but the fact is that Emma doesn't want me … especially not after that display Ruby put on this morning."
Snow laughed. "Oh, Regina … Ruby's going to explain it to Emma, don't worry. Maybe that was just the kick she needed to finally realize her feelings for you are much stronger than friendship."
"And maybe it made her realize that it's just not worth it," Regina countered. "That Hook is the better, easier choice after all."
"Regina," Snow started quietly but intently. "When you refused to talk to her, Emma couldn't deal with it. She shut out everyone … and the few times I actually got her to talk to me, all she could talk about was you because that's all she was thinking about."
"She talked about me?"
"Whenever she opened her mouth," Snow nodded. "And I think she's been in love for you for a long time too, but sh—
Regina's phone rang, interrupting whatever Snow had wanted to say. Regina got up and walked over to her phone. "Hello? … What? Slow down, David … Why didn't you call Emma? … Voicemail?" Damn you, Emma Swan. Where are you? "Don't move! I'll be right there … and don't let Henry out of your sight, shepherd!"
Snow bit back a smile when Regina whirled around. "David says there's a magic disturbance in the forest and Henry is right in the middle of it as usual," she explained in a slightly panicked-sounding staccato, and Snow almost felt bad for her deception. "I have to go!"
"Go," Snow encouraged her. "I can let myself out."
Regina nodded and threw her hands up in her signature move.
Snow waited until the purple smoke had completely cleared before calmly getting up and walking over to the desk. She folded the letter in half and put it in a cream-colored envelope, then left the mansion with a satisfied little smile, letter safely stowed in Neal's diaper bag.
o-o-o
Emma drove until she found a deserted spot overlooking the water. Driving around for hours and hours had helped her think, and she had come to the conclusion that Regina would never use this kind of revenge. Not after everything that happened between them. No, if Regina wanted revenge, Emma would certainly know about it. And if the letters weren't some attempt at revenge, then they had to be from someone else, which meant that Emma had to make up her mind about what to do with them.
And about Regina.
Looking out over the water, Emma came to a decision. If she couldn't be the woman at Regina's side — her lover — then she would try her damn best to be Regina's friend. Regina deserved happiness after everything life had thrown at her, and if that wasn't with Emma, then Emma had to learn to live with it.
She was sure the pain would stop at some point.
The first thing she was going to do, however, was forget about the letters and whoever might have written them. She needed to stop thinking of them as Regina's, which meant that she had to stop thinking about them altogether. If she had them with her right now, she would toss them into the ocean but she knew herself well enough to know that once she had them in her hand again she would probably hang onto them for a while, no matter what. They had made her feel cherished and valued and loved, and that was not something she could just throw away.
Her stomach rumbled loudly, and Emma checked the time on her phone. Huh, no wonder I'm hungry, it's getting close to dinner time … She stood, stretching her whole body with a long sigh and walked back to her bug. I could use some food and a couple of drinks.
She drove back into Storybrooke and toward her parents' apartment. Weren't mothers supposed to be helpful when you had your heart broken? Guess this is where Snow can show what kind of mother she is.
Hopefully, she's the kind that serves her advice and soothing words with a heavy dose of alcohol.
